Jennie’s teeth hurt from the sight of white wedding dresses, from the countless dresses she wore in a span of many hours, and from her mom’s constant hums of distaste every time she stepped out of the fitting room. It was only a matter of time that they’d fall out. 

 

“Much too wide at the bottom.” Her mom clicked her tongue for the thousandth time and nudged her head. “Try this one.”

 

Make up your mind, woman! Jennie internally groaned when Joohyun brought out yet another identical dress – all big, elegant, white satin and tulle – from the line of many others eager to be worn. Unfortunately for them, she was not as eager.

 

“We’ve been doing this all day, mother.” Jennie gritted a smile, attempting to level her dangerously edged tone. “Don’t you think at least one of these dresses suit me? I think I looked good in all of them.”

 

Joohyun paused beside Jennie, uncertain eyes darting between the pair, as her mom pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

 

“This is the most important part of the wedding,” chided her mom. “You need the best of the best dress, and Jongin is waiting for you outside. You need to impress him.”

 

I don’t live my life impressing men, mother.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“Nothing.” Apparently the thought slipped out . With a final huff, Jennie grabbed Joohyun’s wrist to pull her into the fitting room, the older girl almost stumbling from the weight and size of the dress.

 

“Let’s just get this over with,” Jennie sighed and lifted her arms.

 

Joohyun worked silently, unfastening the laces in the back and helping her shrug it off. While she did that, Jennie appraised herself in the mirror, and it was then that she realized how cattish she looked – slack face, drawn scowl, contemptuous eyes – and all of it came natural.

 

No wonder people think I have a trunk up my .

 

“Can you lift your arm up, Miss Jennie?”

 

The sleeve of the thousandth dress slipped on Jennie’s shoulders and she wiggled slightly to help Joohyun settle the waist. The bodice was a tad tight and the flaring frills of the shoulders and hemline were atrocious, but at this point, Jennie couldn’t care less.

 

Joohyun smoothened the material before stepping back to assess the entire outfit. “Done.”

 

Jennie hummed in appreciation and exited the fitting room, bracing herself to hear another sigh of distaste and to stifle another eyeroll.

 

However, this time her mother nodded in satisfaction, a gesture Jennie wouldn’t have thought she’d ever see today. “It’s perfect. Go show Jongin.”

 

Jennie masked her scoff with a cough before leaving the dressing room to the lobby, Joohyun on her tail hugging the trailing fabric. Sitting on the cushions was Jongin with an opened magazine, and his head perked up upon her arrival.

 

“Wo – wow,” he stuttered, hastily closing the magazine and smoothening his button-up as he stood up. “You look amazing.”

 

Jennie strained a smile. “Thank you.”

 

“Is that your final decision?”

 

More like my mother’s final decision. “Yes. I’ve chosen this,” Jennie said curtly. “It’s pretty, right?”

 

“Yes, very beautiful. You’re very beautiful.” Jongin bobbed his head. “I’ll be waiting here when you’re done.”

 

Jennie curtly nodded before swiveling to return to the dressing room. Her mom was nowhere in sight – she probably went to pay for the dress – so she beelined toward the fitting room.

 

“Joohyun, do you like the dress?” Jennie asked as the older girl helped her out of the dress one last time.

 

Joohyun tilted her head in contemplation before nodding firmly. “Yes, Miss Jennie. It’s very pretty on you.”

 

“I see.”

 

While Joohyun returned the dress to the mannequin, Jennie slipped back into her white sundress and used the mirror to adjust her white headband, tucking away a few stray strands of hair and brushing through before straightening up once everything was in shape.

 

“I’ll be going,” Jennie announced before sauntering out the room, Joohyun’s small hum bidding her goodbye.

 

Jongin was by the store’s front, observing the dresses and accessories on display. When he caught sight of her, his footsteps hurried on the marble floor to catch up as Jennie had no intention of stopping.

 

“I reserved a spot at a restaurant in Cheongdam-dong,” Jongin said beside her, hands enthusiastically animated as Jennie pushed past the glass doors. “It’s one of the best in the district and –”

 

“That’s great,” Jennie replied curtly, the pair arriving at the car parked in front of the store. “I’m a bit tired, so can I take a nap on the ride there?”

 

“Oh, of course,” Jongin uttered, voice awkward from her aloofness, and opened the car door for her in gentleman-like fashion.

 

As Jongin rounded to the other side of the car, Jennie slumped back on the sleek, black leather seats with a heavy sigh, hugged her arms, and closed her eyes. The car door opened and shut and Jongin whispered something to the chauffeur before the engine rumbled.

 

Jennie shifted her head more to the side and peered through the cracks of her eyelids – just enough to feign sleep – to watch the buildings and streets roll by. All of it blurred into hues of gray, save for the dotted scatter of orange, red, and yellow leaves drifting in the breeze. A few people walked by – either alone, in pairs, or in groups – but they, too, blended in the gray background.

 

The car turned a corner, with this came a desire to walk – a wave of defiance to turn the other corner, to use her own feet to travel – but the car continued down the street it chose. The one it chose, not the one she chose. She didn’t decide on the dress, her mom did. She didn’t choose to marry Jongin, her parents did.

 

When was the last time she chose anything for herself?

 

If I did, I’d be damn sure I wouldn’t be here right now.

 

The buildings transitioned to a more colorful and flashy outlook with more people crowded on the sidewalks. They were nearing the rich area with all of its fancy restaurants and stores and flaunting elites. Although the buildings weren’t gray, they’re all the same as the ones a few minutes ago. It was the same city, but with pretty privilege.

 

What’s the point... The words faintly echoed within Jennie’s fatigue, words from a husky voice.

 

The car rumbled to a stop and Jongin thanked the chauffeur before hopping off to round to the other side.

 

... of life...

 

The car door clicked open, followed by a gentle tap on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to an open palm and kind smile. “Shall we?”

 

Jennie glanced between Jongin and his patient hand, her mind hazy and groggy from the really bad nap. A car honked behind them.

 

... if it’s only going where someone else takes you?

 

She took it.

 

~

 

“Exactly,” Jisoo said upon Jennie’s failure to answer. “There is no point!”

 

The soft breeze accompanied them, wafting along the edge of the bridge. Jennie strolled beside the railing after much insistence from the older girl, who claimed Jennie had a better chance of getting kidnapped if she were to walk along the outer edge. To that, Jennie retorted that they’d both get kidnapped if that were to happen, but Jisoo disagreed with a demonstration of her ‘spectacular’ punching skills.

 

“I’ve fought boys before,” she boasted. “I’m sure I can take them on.”

 

The cerulean river sparkled whites under the gentle afternoon sun. A faint hum of rumbling automobiles sounded from the gray skyline, but for the most part, it was serene at the bridge. Being away from the main city after a school day felt like a little break from life.

 

“That’s why taking walks is better,” Jisoo continued, hands in her pockets and chin up toward the clear sky. “It might be slower, but you’re still going to the same destination and with leeway. In cars, you have to follow these laid out roads, but on your feet, you can go on roads, sidewalks, through trees, through hidden passageways. It’s like an adventure.”

 

“Is that how you found this bridge?” Jennie asked as they slowed to a stop at the midpoint of the bridge, the peaked sun kissing the older girl in its warm colors. “Just walking?”

 

Jisoo nodded and turned to the river, resting her elbows on the iron railing. “You know what’s better than just walking? Walking with no purpose. Just let the wind carry you and you’ll find things you would’ve never discovered. That’s how I like to live life.”

 

“You don’t have any goals? Dreams? Wishes?”

 

“Of course I do! If I didn’t, I would’ve been six feet under this river by now.”

 

Jennie snapped her head to her in alarm. Jisoo caught her wide eyes and threw her head back to laugh, her laugh resonating down the stream and melodious with the lapping of the water and rustling of the trees. “I’m kidding.”

 

Jennie slapped her arm, evoking a dramatic gasp of hurt from the latter. “Don’t say things like that.”

 

Jisoo pouted and leaned against Jennie, all puppy eyes and fluttering eyelashes. “I’m just kidding, Jendeuk. Please forgive me.”

 

Jennie huffed and flusterly diverted from her adorable act to the water. Was she sure this girl was older than her? “It wasn’t funny.”

 

“I’m losing my skills, huh?” Jisoo chuckled and rested her chin on her palm. Her eyes settled on the blue surface, a tinge of sadness reflected on the brown hue despite her toothless smile. “You were supposed to laugh.”

 

“No, you’re great. Just that one wasn’t funny.”

 

Jisoo pretended to take a pen from behind her ear and scribbled something on her palm, muttering, “For future reference, do not turn trauma into jokes in front of Jennie Kim.” She flashed a grin at Jennie who sported an unimpressed look with a few blank blinks. She sighed and raised her hands up in surrender. “I give up.”

 

The corners of Jennie’s lips curled and she shook her head. “You’re ridiculous.”

 

“That’s my middle name.” Jisoo winked – well, an attempted wink because both eyes ended up closing at the same time, resulting in a blink. That evoked a snort from Jennie, much to Jisoo’s delight.

 

“Tell me one of them,” said Jennie.

 

“One of what?”

 

“Your dreams, your goals, your wishes. One of them.”

 

Jisoo hummed as she studied the skyline, then turned back to Jennie. “I dream that we can go anywhere.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“We’re just two measly teenage girls in a restrictive society. We can’t really go anywhere, or do anything.” Jisoo smiled softly. “When we grow up and make a few bucks, let’s get that cottage in the woods. Then, we can truly go anywhere. Together.”

 

Despite how unrealistic that dream sounded – Jisoo must’ve thought the same as well – Jennie liked it. She liked it a lot.

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

“Let’s swear on it.”

 

“What if it doesn’t happen?”

 

Jisoo took Jennie’s hand in hers and raised it up to her chest. “Even if it takes seven or a hundred years, it’ll happen if we swear on it. That’s how it works.”

 

“You’re rather optimistic.”

 

Jisoo grinned and her warm lips pecked Jennie’s palm – an ember blossoming at the spot – before slapping it on her forehead. “Being optimistic is better than being pessimistic.”

 

“Weren’t you supposed to kiss your own hand and slap your own forehead?”

 

Jisoo paused and furrowed her eyebrows, contemplating the statement. “Well, the swear is stronger if it’s the other person, like a blood oath.”

 

“And who told you that?”

 

“Me.” Jisoo raised her hand with an ear-to-ear grin. “Your turn!”

 

Jennie laughed before doing the same – pecking the palm and slapping her forehead. She let go of Jisoo’s hand, expecting it to fall, but it lingered. She questioned Jisoo with a raised eyebrow, but Jisoo just smiled and patted her head affectionately.

 

“Now we can’t break it,” said Jisoo, “even if it takes seven or a hundred years. Promise?”

 

A swift puff of breeze drifted and wafted through Jisoo’s fringe, but her upturned eyes didn’t waver despite it, twinkling through and through with profound happiness. Jisoo was a dream and a wish, all bundled up in a new hope.

 

“Promise.”

 

~

 

As Jisoo flipped through YG’s latest newspaper, an obscure pop song buzzed in the background of the salon. Her foot tapped in rhythm to the subtle beats of the music, humming along as she skimmed through headlines and pictures. They were unappealing, clearly catering to celebrity culture. Clicking her tongue in distaste, she folded it back up and glanced to ‘the blonde turned brunette’ diagonal from her.

 

Chaeyoung sat on the barber chair, her long hair plastered in bleach paste as a woman applied the substance on with a brush. With her legs primly crossed, she was browsing through the same copy of the newspaper, a small smile playing on her lips on a particular page. Jisoo could guess who’s on that page, as she herself flipped to it: a certain Thai supermodel.

 

“There’s a new movie coming out,” hummed Chaeyoung, “in theatres next weekend. It’s called Snowdrop.” She regarded Jisoo eagerly. “Shall we go watch it?”

 

“Sure, but are the leads hot?”

 

Chaeyoung laughed. “Is that all it takes for you to go?”

 

“It helps.”

 

“You’re hopeless. The lead actress is pretty, though, and it’s her debut film. What was her name? I think it was Kim J –”

 

“Chaeyoung, can you come with me over here?” The woman held a bottle of brown hair dye and beckoned the girl. “We need to dry your hair.”

 

“Coming.” Chaeyoung folded her newspaper and set it on the table before following her. Jisoo stacked her copy on her newspaper before relocating to a cushion closer to Chaeyoung sat on the hair drying machine.

 

“You should get bangs, too,” Jisoo suggested as the woman adjusted the bowl over Chaeyoung’s head. “Might as well since you’re changing your whole hair up.”

 

“Should I?” Chaeyoung’s eyes trailed to the top corner in thought. “You’d think I’d look good with bangs?”

 

“I think you’d look good in anything to be honest.”

 

Chaeyoung giggled and attempted to kick Jisoo, but luckily, she was just out of her foot’s reach. The length that the latter’s leg could cover was quite astonishing. “You’re such a flirt! Alright, you got me. I’ll do it.”

 

Jisoo beamed. “We’ll be twins!”

 

“Actually, on second thought…”

 

Laughter rippled through the salon, Jisoo lightheartedly slapping Chaeyoung’s leg for her tease. A buzz from her bag halted Jisoo’s laughter, prompting her to fish the pager out and scan the message:

 

Bio appt. Right now. - J

 

“Who is it?” Chaeyoung asked.

 

“Jennie.” Jisoo scanned the message twice more before bagging the device. “She wants to meet up for her biography right now.”

 

“Right now? I thought you made the appointments.”

 

Jisoo stood up and brushed her black, pleated skirt. “I usually do, but alas, my job is to adhere to the client.”

 

Chaeyoung frowned, but nodded nonetheless. “Alright. Don’t come home too late.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“You definitely owe me that movie next weekend.”

 

“How about you go with your girlfriend?”

 

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

 

Naturally, a hairbrush to the back of Jisoo’s head wished her farewell.

 

~

 

After several attempts of hailing a taxi, the tenth one took Jisoo to Jennie’s mansion. She lifted the door knocker thrice and – to her surprise – rather than one of the servants answering the door, it was Jennie herself, adorned casually in a gray zip-up jacket, white shirt, and black beanie.

 

“Took you long enough,” Jennie said, her tone flat and sulky.

 

“Yes.” Jisoo gulped nervously. Did she take that long? “It was hard to hail a taxi today, for some reason.”

 

Jennie slowly blinked once, her eyes unfocused and dim in contrast to her sharp greeting, before pushing past Jisoo and closing the door behind her. It took a moment for Jisoo to snap out her surprise and fly down the steps to follow the younger girl’s heels.

 

“What were you doing?” Jennie queried once Jisoo caught up beside her.

 

“I was with Chaeyoung. She’s doing her hair at the salon.”

 

“Did I interrupt you two?”

 

“Not really. We were just hanging out, but if a job calls, then a job calls.”

 

Jennie stopped so abruptly that Jisoo lagged a few steps ahead before registering the girl had stopped long behind her.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“Where’re we going?”

 

In the midst of the hectic journey to the mansion, Jisoo forgot her satchel with her journal and pen inside, only sporting a small crossbody bag with minimum essentials. Although, to be fair, she wasn’t expecting to jump into work anytime today.

 

“Uhm.” Jisoo hawed, nervously palming her cardigan and blue blouse where her coat would’ve been with a notepad in it, the one scribbled with planned locations.

 

.

 

“Actually, it’s your choice today!” She exclaimed with jazzed hands. “What better way to jog your memory if it’s not going to your favorite place?”

 

Jennie wasn’t impressed, unmoving as Jisoo’s jazzed hands ceased until they were awkwardly held up, prompting her to drop them and her chin sheepishly.

 

“I forgot my stuff.”

 

“I thought so,” quipped Jennie. “Should we go back to your place to get them?”

 

Jisoo waved the suggestion off. “It’s okay. I can store it up here.” She confidently pointed to her temple.

 

“I suppose.”

 

With that, they continued down the street.

 

“So, where’re you going?” Jisoo chirped.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“We could go anywhere, you know.”

 

“Anywhere?”

 

“Anywhere.”

 

They arrived at the base of the neighborhood’s sloped street. Jennie’s feet faltered and they naturally slowed into a stop. This spot was familiar, a vague smell of spring rain on the tip of Jisoo’s nose.

 

“Then why can’t I?”

 

“Can’t what?”

 

“Go anywhere.”

 

“What do you mean? You can go wherever you want. You have feet.”

 

Jennie’s eyes broke away to downcast on her shuffling sneakers. “No, not like that.”

 

Jisoo tilted her head in confusion, studying Jennie’s demeanor – drooping shoulders, upside down lips, hooded eyes. This girl needs some serious cheering up.

 

A lightbulb lit above her head.

 

“You know what’s better than going somewhere? Going somewhere fun.” Jisoo extended her hand out. “I’ll take you somewhere fun.”

 

Jennie regarded her hand for a moment, expression unreadable. Jisoo wiggled her fingers to coax the girl; however, Jennie merely nodded.

 

“Okay.”

 

~

 

Jisoo thought back to Chaeyoung’s reminder to not come home late. It looked like she was about to get an earful tomorrow, if not tonight. The inevitable reprimand made her shudder, the reason being that they were going somewhere far away.

 

Somewhere really far away.

 

“We’re going by train?” asked Jennie when nearing the station, an outdoor area with an overarching glass pane roof, wooden benches situated between concrete pillars, and stands of newspapers, magazines, and snacks. It wasn’t busy today compared to other days, only a handful of people waiting around reading newspapers and whatnot. The railroads were wide, reaching out a few hundred feet to fences in the distance.

 

“Yes,” Jisoo replied, reading the timetable displayed on the wall beside the ticket window. Her eyes skimmed down the rows of times and locations until it lingered on the one she was looking for, prompting her to excitedly jab the name. “Ah ha!”

 

Jennie shuffled closer, squinting over her shoulder. “Jinju? We’re going to Jinju?”

 

“There’s a festival going on over there right now,” Jisoo chirped as she dug into her bag for cash. “I read it in the newspaper this morning.”

 

“But it’s –” Jennie scrutinized the table further. “– five hours away?”

 

“Don’t worry. We’ll get home by dinner time.”

 

Jennie gently stopped Jisoo’s wrist that held the cash and she frowned, puzzled. The booking clerk looked annoyed, throwing a cocked eyebrow and a glare with his hand through the window, ready to accept the money.

 

“I have money of my own.”

 

“It’s okay. You can start paying when we get there,” Jisoo reassured her with a smile and handed the money to the clerk, much to Jennie’s dismay.

 

“A festival?” Jennie leaned her shoulder against the wall, her arms crossed, as the clerk printed out their tickets. “What’s the occasion?”

 

“It’s like an annual light festival. Because of the war against Japan a long time ago, they began to float lanterns down the river for the dead and peace, so we can do that stuff plus other activities,” Jisoo explained, graciously accepting the tickets with a small bow and thanks and handing one to Jennie. She beckoned the younger girl over to a nearby bench. “I think it’d be cool to go to and – you know – go somewhere outside this town.”

 

Jennie sat down beside her, one hand in the pocket of her jacket as she studied her ticket with stitched eyebrows. “What time will it arrive?”

 

“In about twenty minutes. We’re lucky. We came at the nick of time.”

 

“I’ve never rode a train before.”

 

I know.

 

“It’s a bit like riding a taxi,” Jisoo said. “I’ve rode it here and there when I had to commute for a couple jobs, but it’s cheaper for greater distance. It’s very relaxing, too, since it goes in a straight line and you don’t have to deal with all the honks, stops, and turns. I’ve fallen asleep a couple times, if I had to be honest.”

 

“I see.”

 

A whistle blew in the distance, accompanied by bellowing rumbles of an engine. Jisoo leaned to peer down the track, a dot of a chugging train peeking over the horizon.

 

“It’s arriving,” Jisoo exclaimed. “Make sure to show your ticket to the conductor.”

 

They stood up when the train arrived in a blast of wind. Jisoo shielded and turned away to defend against the strong smell of coal and billow of dust while Jennie – not so lucky – hacked a coughing fit with hair strewn all over her face.

 

Jisoo flashed a meek smile. “Sorry, I forgot to tell you about that.”

 

Jennie shot a glare before puffing the hair out her face, pompously turning away with her chin up. “Whatever. Let’s go.”

 

Jisoo chuckled, following the girl fixing her hair to the opened door. The conductor nodded in approval with one look at their tickets and they stepped foot onto the train.

 

“Where should we sit?” Jennie’s head bounced side to side as a few people piled into their compartment.

 

Jisoo gently nudged the latter’s back. “Your choice.”

 

Jennie contemplated for a moment – fashioned by pouted lips – before edging down the left aisle. Jisoo followed suit until they reached the end of the compartment.

 

“Is it alright if I take the window seat?” Jennie asked, timidly peering over her shoulder.

 

“Of course.”

 

Once they were settled on the blue, wool cushions, the train whistled before lurching forward in a slow, steady chug. From the corner of Jisoo’s eye, Jennie’s shoulders were tense and her hands were clasped tight on her lap. Jisoo wanted to hold them to help her relax — she really did — but something told her the girl didn’t want to hold hands, and it might and might not be that embarrassing and awkward moment earlier when Jennie left her hanging.

 

“Scared?” Jisoo smirked.

 

Jennie spared a quick glance before turning to the window. “No. It just feels weird.”

 

“It’ll get smoother once the train picks up speed. The view gets prettier, too.”

 

For a silent moment, they watched the buildings and streets of Gangnam steadily roll by. It was peaceful and serene – the combination rumbling of the train, relaxing view, and Jennie’s company. The younger girl was transfixed on the window, fair complexion and rosy lips flushed by the radiant rays, and Jisoo realized she hadn’t seen Jennie this tranquil in a long while. It wasn’t long until the city disappeared behind them – or perhaps Jisoo was too lost in Jennie and lost track of time – and the vast grass fields made their appearance.

 

At this, Jennie turned to Jisoo and laughed softly, demeanor more relaxed than before. “Did we just impulsively hop onto a five hour train ride?”

 

Jisoo beamed. “That’s the thrill of it!”

 

“So this is how it feels.”

 

“What feels?”

 

“To go anywhere.”

 

With that, Jennie returned to the window, her head rested on the backing. A strange ache itched in Jisoo’s chest, yearning to scoot closer, but she withheld it, scolding herself for such a foolish thought. She doesn’t even want to hold your hand! It wasn’t until Jennie’s head slipped from the backing to the glass that Jisoo realized the girl fell asleep.

 

She can sleep anywhere. Jisoo chuckled and carefully lifted her head from the window to prevent a headache from the bumping surface. The girl mumbled something incomprehensible before her head fell on to the other side, that being Jisoo’s shoulder.

 

Jisoo froze from the gesture, breath held as if breathing would awaken the girl. Jennie was still fast asleep, so Jisoo lowered her hand slowly and gingerly adjusted herself to cater to the latter’s comfort: edging closer, positioning her head on the flat edge of her shoulder, tucking stray hair behind her ear. Then, Jisoo rested her cheek on her head and looked out the window of vast fields, endless and infinite over the horizon.

 

Just like this – just like these fields – Jisoo wanted the moment to be forever.

 

~

 

A small nudge on her thigh stirred Jennie awake from a really good nap.

 

“We’re here,” whispered a husky voice.

 

Jennie groaned and unconsciously hugged the girl’s arm, snuggling her cheek into the soft fabric. “Five more minutes.”

 

“Jennie, this is our stop.”

 

Jennie cracked open one eyelid to meet Jisoo’s chin. With her grogginess, it took too long to process that she was leaning on Jisoo’s shoulder, clinging onto Jisoo’s arm, while Jisoo’s rosy lips were mere inches away.

 

“Oh!” Jennie jumped away hastily, startling the latter. “Right. Our stop.” Turning away, her hand swiftly wiped and brushed her hair. I hope I didn’t drool.

 

“You drooled by the way. A lot.”

 

Jennie froze – dumbstruck – as Jisoo smirked and exited the compartment. She slapped her forehead and deeply groaned – matched with a few chides of ‘nice ing going, Jennie’ – before hopping off to catch up to the older girl.

 

The first thing Jennie noted was the different air. It was more crisp, more refreshing, but perhaps that’s because she never stepped foot into another city before, or a city as far away as Jinju. This station was busier with people bustling onto the train they just left – Jennie nearly bumping into a few businessmen – as the two paced across the station.

 

“Do you even know where we’re going?” Jennie asked once they stepped onto the sidewalk of the busy street, Jisoo looking side to side aimlessly with blatant confusion and unfamiliarity.

 

The older girl coughed. “Of course I do.” She pulled out a pamphlet that she probably picked up from a stand at the station a few minutes ago, as it was a tourist pamphlet sporting the phrase ‘Number One Guide to Jinju!’. “This has the city map in it.”

 

“I swear if we get lost, Jisoo,” Jennie mumbled as the latter scrutinized the map so closely her nose brushed the paper.

 

“Trust me.” Jisoo puffed her chest and confidently held the map high, hand on her hip and flashing a grin. “You know what’s the number one map of a city?”

 

“What?”

 

“A taxi.”

 

Jennie facepalmed.

 

~

 

“Namgang, Jinju please,” Jisoo said to the driver.

 

Earlier, Jennie would’ve despised the idea of riding cars – that being her rational for messaging Jisoo – but it was different right now. Perhaps it’s the city that looked similar to Gangnam, but wasn’t Gangnam? Perhaps it’s that she was far away from her responsibilities? Perhaps it’s because she was with Jisoo? Who knows.

 

All Jennie could say was that she wasn’t bothered at all.

 

“Are you hungry?” Jisoo asked.

 

Jennie shook her head. “No.”

 

“I read that there’s going to be lots of delicious food over there.” Jisoo rubbed her stomach comedically. “I can’t wait.”

 

13031. view transitioned from low buildings to trees and foliage lined neatly along the edge of Namgang’s wide river, golden from the setting sun. Littered along the bank and water were glowing characters and various historical structures. The crowded docks were decorated with white tents, colorful lights, lit lanterns, and food stands, the festive vibes accentuated by joyous music.

 

“It looks better at night,” said Jisoo, “which should be coming soon. We’re pretty lucky with timing today.”

 

They were dropped off on the road to the docks, and Jennie was quick to pull out the cash and pay the driver before Jisoo could. Once the taxi drove away, they proceeded down the slope, the soles of their shoes crunching the gravel.

 

“I didn’t realize how many people would be here,” Jisoo commented nervously, footsteps ceasing when they neared the edge of the docks and bustling crowd.

 

“It’s a festival for a reason,” chuckled Jennie, but her chuckling faltered with one glance at the older girl: arms stiff by her sides, worried lips, and skittish eyes darting around the place. Jisoo’s hands were clenched, and Jennie wanted to hold them – to caress them, to calm her down – but fear seized her with one look at the public.

 

But – if Jennie recalled – back in high school, it was normal for girl friends to hold each other’s hands and hook arms because it showed their friendship. It should be fine if Jennie took Jisoo’s hand right now, and it would go without question. It’s not that it should be fine, it was fine. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

 

She was just a coward.

 

And she didn’t deserve to hold her hand.

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jennie said, stepping in front of Jisoo and smiling softly. “Remember to breathe.”

 

Jisoo looked down from Jennie’s gaze and rubbed her hands together. “Ah, right.” She inhaled through her nose and exhaled through , shoulders rising and falling with every steady breath. “Breathing.”

 

“You wanted food, right?” Jennie asked to divert Jisoo’s worries away. “Do you smell that?” She wafted the air to her nose with the wave of her hand and hummed. “That smells good. I think it's kebabs over there. I’m starving!”

 

Jisoo giggled and dipped her chin shyly. “You said you weren’t hungry.”

 

“But now that I can smell all the tasty food, it’s making me hungry,” Jennie insisted. “Let’s go.”

 

Jennie swiveled to lead the way, expecting the girl to follow her, but the absence of her footsteps prompted her to pause. Jisoo was still rooted on the spot, demeanor shy with hands folded and downcasted eyes.

 

“Are you good, Jisoo?” Jennie asked, walking back to her.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Do you need more time? We can wait here. We have all day.”

 

“It’s not that.”

 

“Then, what is it?”

 

Jisoo’s lips parted, then unparted, then parted again in hesitation.

 

“Jisoo, what is it?”

 

“Can I… hold your hand?”

 

Taken aback, Jennie’s throat caught and her heart stopped. Her reaction must’ve been extreme because Jisoo’s eyes widened and she clamped her hand over .

 

“Don’t get me wrong!” She waved her hands fretfully. “It’s just that – there’s so many people and I don’t want to get lost…” She cleared . “If we hold hands, then it’d be easier to keep track of each other.”

 

Jennie continued staring silently. Her head buzzed, matched with a pounding in her ears and a creeping heat up her neck.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to hold hands,” Jisoo hastily added as the air turned awkward. “Can I hold onto your jacket, at least?”

 

It’s not that I don’t want to hold your hand. Jennie wanted to say. It’s not like that at all.

 

Because I do want to hold your hand.

 

I want to hold your hand so bad.

 

“Yeah,” Jennie croaked. “You can hold onto my sleeve.”

 

Jisoo crooked a toothless grin and grasped the oversized cotton. “Thank you.”

 

“It’s not a big deal.” Jennie blinked away from Jisoo’s beautiful smile and crescents of appreciation to the festival. Although the pounding in her head and chest had yet to cease, the glimmering autumn rays of golden hue alleviated all of it. It was beautiful, everything at this moment. If only she’d brought her camera to capture it forever.

 

“Ready?” asked Jennie.

 

“Ready,” Jisoo said.

 

~

 

It was easy to get immersed in the crowd. With Jisoo close by her side, they were swept by the animated throng and festive vibes from one place to another until the golden sun bled into gray-blue dusk, and – by this point – Jisoo had eaten every type of street food they could offer here.

 

“I’m going broke just to feed you,” Jennie jested as Jisoo munched on a skewer with big cheeks, head childishly bouncing side to side in contentment.

 

Jisoo’s eyes widened and fell agape, much to Jennie’s disgust at the sight of chewed food, and exclaimed, “Really?”

 

“No, and close your mouth while chewing,” Jennie chided and lifted the bottom of Jisoo’s chin with her finger. “You’ll eat a fly.”

 

With a mischievous glint in her eyes, Jisoo leaned close to Jennie’s face and defiantly opened , jaw dramatically chomping on the food, and Jennie ducked aside to avoid it.

 

“Gross, Jisoo!” she yelped, scrunching her nose as Jisoo covered to laugh.

 

“Jokes!” Jisoo threw up a finger gun and waved her skewer in the air. “But seriously, are you running out of money?”

 

Jennie rolled her eyes and resisted the tug on the corners of her lips. “No, I’m rich.”

 

“Right, rich kid. How could I forget.”

 

Jennie was about to retort, but a steaming whistle of an engine interrupted her. Drifting past the end of the docks was a ferry with passengers waving down at the people on the streets.

 

Jisoo slapped her forehead. “I completely forgot about the ferry. We missed it!”

 

“It’s alright,” Jennie said quickly to ease Jisoo’s frustration. “I get motion sickness anyway.”

 

“Oh, right,” Jisoo sighed in relief and slipped her hand from the sleeve into the pocket of Jennie’s jacket, brushing the back of Jennie’s hand. For some reason, she didn’t question it, nor did that previous fear climb back. Maybe it’s because their entwined fingers were hidden from the world in this pocket – this small private space – and there was something irresistible about Jisoo. With one touch, everything clicked and Jennie lost the battle because it was nice, it was warm, and it was natural.

 

“Since it’s night, I think it’s about time for the lantern making.” Jisoo pointed her skewer down the street, almost hitting a passerby. “I bet it’s down there with all those white lanterns.”

 

With the conviction of interlocked hands, Jisoo led the way through the crowd that’s less dense than earlier today because everyone was visiting the various light attractions by the river bank. Jennie stuck close to her, but the older girl would occasionally look back to check up on her and flash a silly smile at the same time. Luckily, Jisoo would turn back forward just as quick because from the way Jennie’s cheeks hurt, she was sure she was smiling too – and just as silly.

 

Then again, Jisoo’s smile was infectious.

 

As they neared the site, the festive music languished into a faint hum behind them and the chattering of people softened at the lantern distribution tent. The smell of street food was left behind, replaced with nature’s greenery and water.

 

“Look how pretty the lanterns are!” Jisoo marveled, her steps going astray from the line to the people holding their lanterns by the docks, to which Jennie had to pull her back on track.

 

“Calm down, Jisoo.” Jennie knocked her head playfully, evoking a pout. “We still need to buy ours.”

 

While Jennie fished out some money, they shuffled through the line quickly, the volunteers distributing lanterns and receiving money in lightning speed. A young man, a high school senior by the looks of him, handed them two white paper lanterns with candles.

 

“We’ll release the lanterns together in about ten minutes,” he said with a kind smile. “If you keep walking, there’s tables at the end with markers that you can write your wishes with.”

 

“Thank you.” Jisoo bowed her head.

 

It took awhile for them to find an open spot at the tables because the people crowded around seemed to be taking their sweet time using the markers. Fortunately, Jisoo’s keen eyes spotted an open corner by the far end and dragged Jennie over. Unfortunately, there was only one marker.

 

“You can go first, Jennie,” Jisoo insisted, handing the marker to Jennie.

 

Jennie shook her head and pushed the marker back. “I don’t even have any wishes right now. You can write yours down first.”

 

Jisoo’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek before giving in. “Alright, but you better think fast. We only have ten minutes left.”

 

While Jisoo turned her back to scribble down her very secretive wishes, Jennie pondered as she observed everyone around her. There were people of various ages here – elderly, teenagers, children, couples – laughing and chatting, lanterns in their hands waiting for the event to begin. Jennie glanced at Jisoo who pressed the of the marker to her temple in thought before returning to scribbling.

 

Wishes? She rotated her lantern in her hand and ran her fingers across the blank surface. Wishes were something for youth – mere child's play – and something for them to believe in to feed them false hope. Every wish she had reciprocated only hurt and heartache, so what’s the point of wishing anymore?

 

“Done!” Jisoo chirped and swiveled around, offering the marker to Jennie. “Your turn.”

 

“Jisoo,” mumbled Jennie. “I don’t know what to wish for.”

 

“Well, it could be anything,” Jisoo chimed. “You could wish for good weather tomorrow, or to meet your favorite artist someday, or something as simple as good health. Anything can be wished for.”

 

“What did you wish for?”

 

“That’s a secret.” Jisoo brought her finger to her lips. “I heard that telling someone your wish before it goes down the river will jinx it.”

 

“Ah, I see.” Jennie pursed her lips with the marker poised on the blank paper, mind still absent of any wish.

 

“I think it’s almost time. Everyone is moving toward the river.” Jisoo clutched Jennie’s sleeve. “Let’s try to get good spots. You can write down your wishes while we walk, right? We’ll return the marker after.”

 

Before Jennie could say anything, they were halfway down the pier. People were crouched by the water and the many lit lanterns radiated a warm glow in the area. A handful of lanterns were already floating down the river, bobbing in the subtle waves of the water. From here, the main festival was visible, but it seemed like another world. Over there was festive and loud, while over here was peaceful and harmonious.

 

“Are you done thinking?” Jisoo asked, practically hopping with excitement. “Let’s release our lanterns together.”

 

The marker still hovered over the blank paper, yet to touch or make a mark. Jennie tightened her grip on the marker, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

 

“I seriously don’t know what to wish for,” Jennie sighed.

 

“Think really hard. Disregard the possibility of it happening, because that defeats the whole purpose of wishes. Impossible or not, wishes are something to hold onto, a faith that keeps you going. There’s no realistic and unrealistic wishes, if you’re having trouble because of that.”

 

Jennie trailed up from her lantern to lock eyes with Jisoo. The flickering light emitting from Jisoo’s lantern danced in her kind eyes and glowed her tan complexion and soft smile. The river was populated with more lanterns, and the first few had already reached under the bridge.

 

“What’s the point of wishing for something if it might be impossible?”

 

“Because that’s what makes life life,” replied Jisoo. “Wishing, dreaming, hoping – it gives us purpose for ourselves, like a steering wheel in life. If you have none, then you’re just riding in the back of someone else’s car. What’s the point of life if it’s only going where someone else takes you?”

 

There is no point.

 

The marker pressed down on the parchment, forming an ink blot from the few seconds it lingered before gliding across to scribble Jennie’s wish. She capped it and returned to Jisoo who regarded her with a proud glint in her eyes.

 

“Ready?” asked Jisoo.

 

“Ready,” Jennie said.

 

~

 

Their lanterns floated down the river side by side, occasionally bumping into each other, drifting apart, and coming together again. Hand in hand, they bobbed with the other lanterns to the horizon. It was quiet and peaceful. With no chatter, everyone held each other – whether it be parent to child or lover to lover – and collectively watched the sea of light.

 

Jennie had her hands in her pockets and Jisoo had her arms crossed. Jennie’s fingers picked at the lint restlessly, eyes stealing frequent glances at the older girl. However, Jisoo was too preoccupied with the view to notice, brown eyes dazzling with a faint smile on her lips.

 

Do you want to hold hands with her or something, Jennie? she chided herself as she rolled a ball of lint between her fingers. Why’re you so agitated?

 

“Is something wrong, Jennie?” Jisoo asked, head tilted and lips pouted in wonder.

 

Jennie broke away from Jisoo’s gaze to the river. “No, nothing’s wrong.”

 

“It’s beautiful, huh?”

 

“Yeah, it is.”

 

Silence fell again. Jisoo returned to admiring the lanterns, but Jennie’s mind was still restless. There were a million things she wanted to say about today, about them, about everything, but it’s so hard when Jisoo looked so serene watching the river. The last thing Jennie wanted to do was ruin something else, that being this moment.

 

But if not now, when? Everytime she tried, her cowardness left her unable to vocalize her words, but now there was a small amount of courage in her heart. Although she didn’t know where it came from, courage was courage no matter how small, so Jennie turned to Jisoo and Jisoo turned to Jennie.

 

“Jisoo –”

 

BOOM!

 

Jennie yelped and her feet left the ground at the thunderous sound, prompting Jisoo to burst into laughter that cut smoothly into the tranquil atmosphere.

 

“Jennie, it’s okay.” Jisoo held her stomach and pointed toward the main street. “It’s the fireworks.”

 

Jennie heaved an exhale, clutching her chest and slumping in relief. Jisoo was still laughing and despite her palpitating heart, it couldn’t help but flutter. She chuckled along, fanning her flushed face.

 

“Why would they shoot the fireworks right now out of all the time they had?” Jennie scoffed with faux nonchalance. “I was just caught off guard.”

 

Jisoo giggled and elbowed her arm playfully. “Whatever you say.”

 

Everyone’s attention diverted from the lanterns to the fireworks, clapping and awing at the show. After every whistle and boom were polite applause matched with ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’. The fireworks were beautiful, an array of colors painting the clear sky in light. Jennie smiled, turning to Jisoo to voice her thoughts, but froze at the lock of doe eyes so raw and vulnerable it struck a chord in her heart.

 

“Jennie,” breathed Jisoo.

 

Although her voice was tiny – barely under her breath – it was clear as day against the booming of fireworks and chatter of the crowd – both nulled into the background and a mere buzz in Jennie’s ears. Her complexion radiated with different colors – pink, green, blue, red – accentuating all her ethereal features in different light. But despite the colorful lights, the warm undertone of candles lingered on her skin and Jisoo was bare – all of her emotions and laid out – nothing hidden, nothing held back.

 

Everything collapsed.

 

Jennie’s heart cracked and everything collapsed.

 

Because it was so easy for Jisoo to take over her world.

 

Jisoo’s lips parted to say something else, but it was interrupted by a faint buzz from her bag. Jennie momentarily snapped out her trance when Jisoo fished her pager out.

 

“Oh no!” Jisoo slapped her hand over , eyes wide.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Chaeyoung is going to kill me,” Jisoo moaned and dug her face into her hands.

 

“What? What do you mean?”

 

“It’s ten o’clock.”

 

It didn’t occur to Jennie how fast time passed by. “It’s okay. Let’s go back to the station.”

 

Before Jennie could walk toward the main street, Jisoo grabbed her wrist, her eyes avoiding contact.

 

“What?”

 

“Jennie… the last train was at nine.”

 

A pause.

 

“ing great.”

 

~

 

Today, Jennie didn’t plan on hopping on a train to another city, much less spending the night with Jisoo out of all people. Today was just full of surprises.

 

The thought gave her a headache.

 

They walked to the nearest motel (thanks to Jisoo’s incredible navigation skills with the map that took them in a few circles) that was small and sketchy with its bland exterior and dim lobby. The place smelled faintly of cigarettes as Jisoo knocked on the window with light taps. It slid open to reveal a wary, annoyed man with untrimmed facial hair.

 

“Hello!” Jisoo chirped, flashing a smile. “We’re looking for a room to spend a night.”

 

“We don’t have any more rooms,” he scowled and shut the window in Jisoo’s face, prompting her to flinch.

 

Jennie huffed, ticked by the man, and put a hand on the latter’s shoulder reassuringly. “It’s probably booked by everyone that came to the festival. There were a lot of people.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Why are you apologizing?” Jennie shrugged and beckoned her to exit the motel. “Let’s just keep looking.”

 

“At this rate, all the motels in the area are booked,” Jisoo sighed. “I should’ve kept track of the time.”

 

It was rare to see Jisoo disheartened like this, frowned pout and all. Jennie hummed and scanned the street, faintly lit by a few lights from awakened houses.

 

“Keep your chin up, Jisoo,” Jennie said, patting her arm. “If we can’t find any motel rooms, then let’s ask around the neighborhood.”

 

It was a lot of ‘do you mind if we stay the night’ met with a ‘sorry, we don’t have a room available’, knocking, and walking. Jennie never would’ve thought she’d succumb to asking strangers for rooms, but luckily, they struck gold with a kind grandma.

 

“Of course!” the grandma exclaimed. “Poor girls, you must be freezing. Come in, come in.”

 

“Thank you so much, Jennie said as they followed the grandma through the gate. “We have money –”

 

“No need!” The grandma waved it off. “You two remind me of my daughter, so kind and pretty.”

 

Jennie raised her eyebrows at Jisoo, who mirrored the same expression. Although her face was neutral, the way the shuddering older girl hugged her arms tightly and rubbed her legs together didn’t go unnoticed.

 

The grandma led them up the low, wooden platform and slid open the bamboo screen door. “This is my daughter’s room. I think you two can fit in here.”

 

One room? Jennie snapped to Jisoo with wide eyes, but the girl looked airy. As a matter of fact, she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

 

Are you okay with that? Jennie mouthed while the grandma tidied up the place, moving a few vases and taking out blankets from the closet.

 

Of course, Jisoo mouthed back. Why wouldn’t I be okay?

 

Well – because –

 

“All ready!” the grandma chirped and beckoned the two to step in. “Make yourself feel at home. There’s a few clothes in the closet if you want to change into something more comfortable,” she eyed Jisoo’s skirt, “and the bathroom is next door. If you stay in the morning, I’ll have breakfast prepared!”

 

“Thank you!” they chimed in unison and bowed deeply. The grandma beamed and sauntered away, humming a faint tune.

 

“You should change,” Jennie said as they took off their shoes. “You’re cold.”

 

Jisoo shook her head. “Isn’t it weird to wear a stranger’s clothes?”

 

“True, but no way you can sleep in that.”

 

Before Jisoo could retort, Jennie threw her a pair of pink pajama pants at her face she rummaged out from the closet.

 

“At least change your pants,” Jennie said. “You can use the bathroom first.”

 

Jisoo contemplated for a moment before taking it. “Why’re you treating me like a baby? I’m supposed to be the older one.”

 

Jennie snorted. “Says the one that can’t navigate a map.”

 

Jisoo hit Jennie with the pants. “Whatever. I’m going.”

 

Jennie smiled to herself once Jisoo stepped out the room. As she laid out the blankets, the realization of how truly small the room was dawned on her: one sheet of blanket covered the entire floor.

 

So sleeping side by side was inevitable.

 

.

 

~

 

“So, this is it?” Jisoo eyed the sleeping space with raised eyebrows.

 

Standing beside her, Jennie scratched the back of her head. “I tried fitting two sheets, but it wouldn’t fit between the closet and this dresser.” She glanced over at the latter who still had raised eyebrows. “We don’t have to share one blanket, though. There’s two more blankets we can use separately.”

 

Jisoo nodded and shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”

 

While Jisoo settled at one end of the sheet, unrolling her blanket and spreading it out, Jennie flicked off the light switch before crawling under her own.

 

Jennie had never slept on the floor, but it wasn’t too bad with her back on the bamboo and moonlit, plain ceiling above her. As a matter of fact, something about it was refreshing and different from the soft mattress of her bed. Jisoo would say that it’s good to experience new things.

 

“Goodnight, Jennie,” said Jisoo.

 

“Goodnight, Jisoo,” replied Jennie.

 

Squeezing her eyes shut proved in vain against her active mind. Perhaps it was from the adrenaline from the festival that had yet to cease, or perhaps it was because Jisoo laid right beside her – so close her warmth seeped through the two layers of blankets between them. She peeked through one eye at the girl who was wide awake, staring at the ceiling.

 

“What did you wish for, Jennie?” Jisoo whispered.

 

Jennie was silent for a moment, contemplating whether to feign sleep or not, before responding, “Would it get jinxed if I told you?”

 

“I think that our lanterns reached the end of the river by now.”

 

“Then, tell me yours.”

 

“Mine’s not important. It’s a question for your biography.”

 

Jennie’s heart sank and she couldn’t help but chuckle through the bitter taste in .

 

“Oh, right. That’s all it is, right? All of it?”

 

A pause.

 

“That’s what I want it to be, but it’s getting hard.”

 

What do you mean? The question caught at , but she didn’t have to ask with the implication so stark, so clear, because it dwelled inside her too. They were two sides of the same coin.

 

“Happiness.”

 

“Happiness?”

 

“Yes, I wish to be closer to happiness.”

 

“What do you mean by happiness?”

 

“I don’t know, but doesn’t everyone wish for happiness? I know happiness is subjective, but I know the times when I was happy because of this certain nice feeling in my heart, and I’d like to experience more of those times, even though those times had long passed. That’s what I wish for.”

 

Silence enveloped them. Jennie could hear Jisoo’s light breathing, and she would’ve figured the girl fell asleep with the length at which she stayed silent.

 

“Do you know what I wished for?”

 

Jennie’s silence invited Jisoo to continue.

 

“I wish that we will live our lives with no regrets.” Jisoo smiled – Jennie couldn’t see it, but she could imagine it. “And I’m living it because I don’t regret coming here with you.”

 

Normally, Jisoo’s sweet words would burn Jennie’s face red – she was a natural sweet talker, after all – but this time, the genuineness seeped into her heart, mending the crack a few pieces at a time.

 

“That’s… really sappy.”

 

“Did you expect less?”

 

“No, not at all. It’s exactly what I expected.”

 

Jisoo giggled, and Jennie giggled along.

 

“I mean it.”

 

The ceiling was plain, and the floor was hard.

 

But Jennie didn’t want to be anywhere else.

 

“Goodnight, Jisoo.”

 

“Goodnight, Jennie.”