I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off.

I reached my hand on the other side of my bed feeling it was empty. I looked up at the calendar beside my bed.

December 25, 2020.

My tears started to well up on my eyes when I remembered what happened a year ago on this day.

December 25th of 2019

“Wendy”

“Hmm?” I turned around to face my roommate and best friend Joy. Joy is *sighs* an angel and I won’t get tired of loving her. Yes, I’m in love with my best friend of four years. I think I’m pretty great at concealing my feelings. Imagine the that would happen if my feelings for her came flooding.

“Earth to Seungwan?” she booped my nose while straddling my lap. Oh, I’ve been daydreaming for too long.

“You called me by my real name”

“W-well, you’re spacing out and I was worried,” she rebutted.

“Don’t worry, I was just brainstorming for my next song,” I told her not wanting to worry her anymore. And for saving my from confessing.

“Really?” I saw how her eyes lit from excitement. Yes, I’m a mediocre singer but Joy thinks otherwise.

“Yes, and please, get off of my lap you’re heavy,” I felt like my heart would burst out of my chest from our close proximity. I saw her pout but she got off anyways.

“Anyways we’re getting out of the real deal here,” she smiled deviously at me. Oh God please no…

“Sooyoung, whatever you’re doing, I’m not joining you” she gave me her best puppy eyes that I could never, I mean never… can say no to.

“What is it anyways?” I asked, slowly lowering my defenses and surely, she noticed it and beamed,

“Wendy! Are you forgetting something?”

“Not that I can think of…” I stood up and rummaged my drawer to find if there’s a forgotten schedule-

“You silly! Remember your song charted on Billboards?” she said looking offended.

“It’s nothing Joy- “

“It’s definitely something! You’re always downplaying your talent and I’m definitely sick of it. You deserve a party!”

“You know I’m not the party type kind of gal, right?” she pondered for moment.

“Well, yes I know that, but at least we get a drink to celebrate, right?” she smirked. Okay she got me on that one.

“You know I can’t refuse you, right?”

“Uh-uh”

“Then what are you waiting for? We’ve got a party to do”

I looked at the dropped bottle of whiskey beside my bed. Feeling that constrict on my throat, I tried to remove it by drinking the bottle. The guilt and grief once again clouded my mind despite of my hammering hungover. The things I would do to take back what I’ve done that night.

“Wendy, we went to this bar to drink and celebrate, not for sightseeing,” she deadpanned.

“But I’m really not in the mood to drink,” I pouted.

“That cute face won’t work on me because I can’t see,” she said while covering her eyes. Cute.

“Fine. I’ll drink one but you’ll pay for this”

“Fine by me, now let me enjoy this song” she shook my hands dancing on the dancefloor with a bunch of energetic people and leaving me alone with my scotch. I watched her completely entranced with the way she moved her hips. I shook my head trying to erase that thought. Must be the alcohol. I saw someone familiar approached her. I squinted my eyes to see someone with a monolid eyes talking to her. Oh God no.

I approached them, my rage getting the hell out of me. The minute they saw me, I threw my hardest punch I could muster up to Seulgi.

“Wendy! What the hell are you doing?!” Joy looked at me mortified. She scooped up her ex-girlfriend asking if she was okay.

“You! What the hell are you doing here?! Aren’t you satisfied when you left Sooyoung with no explanation 2 years ago?!” Everyone started to notice the commotion and looked at us.

“I’ve got a reason for that and that’s why I’m here and to apologi-“

“BULL”

“Seungwan!”

“NO! I won’t let someone hurt you again! I don’t want to see you in despair again Sooyoung,” I cried not caring if I’m in the middle of the dancefloor crying like a lost child. I feel like I could break any moment now.

“And I don’t want to lose you again to someone”

“Seungwan what are you talking about? I never left,” she asked me confused.

“No, it’s not that”

“Then what is it?! I’m tired Seungwan” she looked up at me still clutching the now bleeding Seulgi.

“I-I’m i-in love with you Sooyoung”

“What?”

“I love you Sooyoung”

“nonsense” she muttered. She picked up her unconscious ex-girlfriend then she looked back at me.

“We’ll talk at your house after I take back Seul at the hospital.”

“What?”

“You might not know her much but she’s battling Leukemia, Wan. I should’ve given her the chance to explain herself.” She wiped her eyes and carried Seulgi to her ex’s car.

I stood up not caring all the mess I’ve made around our hous- well, my house now. Holding my bottle of whiskey, I went to the balcony, not caring if I stepped on those broken shards of glass. Nothing matters now. I drank my whiskey while replaying what happened when she went our once home.

“Seungwan, I hope you’re sober enough to apologize tomorrow to all the nonsense- “

“It’s not nonsense Joy,” I looked at her with my pleadin