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We are all separate individuals, pretending to have control over the person we are - the person we choose to be, who we wish to be. Others fall to the feet of knowledge, the need to fit into society, other ache to reach the top of the pyramid of riches and power. They choose the life of knowing and believing in things they see. However, others fall to the arms of music - the melodies that name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable.

Minju fell into the second option - she chose music. A soul drifting along life through the different genres of music. Most of her life she lived lost in the melodies of ballads, hoping she’d feel the same butterflies the melodies portrayed. However, she’s in the loop of feeling the darkness and solemnity in the first movement of Beethovens Moonlight Sonata.

Sometimes she’d wander between the movements - today she was in the fast chords of the 3rd movement. Rushing through the doors into the hallways of her university’s hall, she kept her head low, only focused on her steps and making sure she didn’t bump into anyone on the way to the practice rooms. It was the prime time for practice rooms. Unfortunately for her, the professor had kept them in a few minutes in.

Unlike other universities, practice rooms were first come, first serve. If she wanted to take her usual practice room, she’d have to spring to get there first. Having a callback for the school’s conservatory made for her practice sessions to be precious. She needed the perfect ambience and resonance to get the most of her sessions. May it be a superstition or a hoax. She always found herself productive in that practice room.

Her smile grew when she came closer to the room, seeing the lights turned off - it was unoccupied. The shot of hope made her quicken her pace, but the hopefulness was quick to flee when she saw the switch’s bright lime green background with the words occupied in black bold letters on the room’s sign.

She peeked through the window, wanting to turn down any thoughts of the room being vacant because of it’s turned off lights. It was indeed occupied, a student sat in front of the grand piano. The warm yellow light coming from their flashlight was all that illuminated the room. She wanted to barge into the room and push the student out, but there was a stronger force that made her watch the student instead. More accurately, the comforting and warm look on the pianist’s face made her want to stay.

It sadden her when the pianist’s playing was too faint for her to identify which piece it was, but Minju could see the lightness in the pianist’s movements. Their head swaying as they coaxed one melody after another. There was a peacefulness in her playing, Minju couldn’t tell if it was the way the student moved so effortlessly or the way the warm coloured flashlight shined on the pianist’s face. The pianist radiated a sense of comfort, in a way inviting Minju to come in, although she was unaware of her presence.

But Minju knew better than to stare. She shook her head slowly, shaking her head out of the spell the mysterious pianist had cast on her. Looking around, she grew conscious of the few stares she gathered by passing students. She lowered her head, staring at the floor as she walked away from the practice room. Although she had walked away, she had made 3 turns and winded up in the same hallway. She had gone in a complete circle. One walk by became two, then became three. In attempts to get the slightest glimpse of the student inside.

On the fourth the pianist had the lights, a growing crease as her eyebrows furrowed. Her pencil moving quickly across the sheets of music she had sprawled on the stand. On her sixth walk by, she had come up with multiple reasons to justify her actions. One being her needing some exercises from being cooped up inside all day, another was her waiting for the room to be vacant. There just so coincidentally had been a rather eye-catching student playing inside.

A force pulled her to peek closer. She stood against the wall, letting out a few breaths of air. The thought of leaning toward the door and seeing the pianist made her rather anxious. Pushing her thoughts aside, she leaned forward, turning her head to peek into the room. Only this time her gaze was met by two beady dark brown eyes, looking back at her. Minju fought the idea of hiding behind the wall in fear of making the situation more awkward than it already was. She hid her shocked face behind her hand, bowing her head lightly as an apology for the disturbance. Not sparing another second before quickly turning on her heels in the opposite direction.

“Hey, Hey!”

Minju froze, staring out at the empty hall in front of her. She knew she was the one being called out to. She forced her eyes to stay open and turning toward the caller, her caller had been the pianist she had so shamelessly done way too many walks by’s to see. The pianist did a small jog towards her, showing a welcoming smile. Minju tried to reciprocate the smile however, only being able to return a timidly thin-lipped smile. Although she wanted to show the same one the pianist had so graciously given her.

Seeing the pianist up close she was taller than she had expected, being eye level with her she was no more than a few centimetres shorter. But mostly she was taken back by the warm feeling that had invaded her, seeing the pianists smile up close. Her crescent shaped eyes that so easily outdid every crescent made by the moon.

“Can you help me with my performance video?” Her voice came out soft, much like her movements when she played.

If it had been any other person, she would have been quick to decline. But something in the way the pianist smiled at her made her want to agree. Although it had gone against every single thought and cell in her body, it only needed to sway one thing to make her say yes - the glint in the pianist’s eyes when she said yes only burned the growing warm feeling in her chest.

So she followed the pianist into the room, standing in the corner where she had been instructed to stand. Holding the phone for the girl as she gave a small nod towards Minju to start recording. Within a few notes, Minju saw the same tranquil sway of her head to the music, her hands gliding over the keys effortlessly as she played Franz Liszt’s Liebestraum No.3

Minju’s breath was taken away with every note the pianist played. The room around them vanished into thin air as the scenery changed from a practice room to the centre of a flower garden. The soft breeze moving pianist’s hair, carrying a sweet and steady sense of joy. Minju watched as a small smile grow on the pianist’s lips as she glanced up at Minju.

The melody echoed around them as it swirled in the air as she continued to play. With the last few measures her wonderful melodic song came to an end, the garden disappearing from around them as the practice room came back to view. The pianist lifted her hands off the keys, turning her head towards to Minju. Still entranced by the performance, she had forgotten to stop the video. Fumbling to stop the video, she heard a small laugh coming from the pianist.

“What did you think?”

“It was good” was the only thing Minju could say, still mesmerised by the performance. It left a longing feeling as it had ended too soon. She wanted to say more towards this mysterious pianist that has continued to surprise her, but the all too familiar lump in stopped her from praising the pianist.

“I think it that was the best I’d played it,” She said with the same bright smile she showed the first time they met, “Guess I just needed some company” It was just as inviting as the first, oh how Minju wished she could grow familiar with that warm smile. “I’m Hyewon by the way” The mysterious pianist had named themselves at last.

“I’m Minju” she responded and once again Hyewon smiled, familiar with the name of the clumsy student she had so coincidentally caught in the hallway.

Hyewon politely pointed at her phone, still in Minju’s hand “If you plan on keeping my phone, do you mind adding your number too?” there was a playfulness in her tone

Minju could feel the heat begin to creep on the back of her neck. She suddenly grew conscious, still seeing the phone in her hands. Not sure if she should give her number to Hyewon, a student she had suddenly met - yet there was a strong force that made her go against her own. Seeing the kind smile paired with Hyewon’s patient eyes, she slowly added her contact into the pianist’s phone before giving it back to her. Soon after, they bid their goodbyes, Hyewon having plans with her friends.

Hyewon had the urge to blow them off and stay with Minju instead, but it was a meeting she couldn’t miss. So she smiled, waving goodbye. Minju had missed the sadness hidden in Hyewon’s eyes as she waved back. Only Hyewon could only go a few steps before turning back, peeking her head through the door, excited to see Minju turn around.

“Next time just ask for the practice room, it must be tiring walking back and forth” Hyewon laughed seeing the shock register on Minju’s face and how she had turned beet red at the embarrassment “I think you walked by six times?” Hyewon teased once more, finding Minju too adorable to miss the opportunity. They shared another laugh before Hyewon finally left with the silliest smile on her face, having caught Minju on her 3rd walking by and counting how many she was going to do. Until she couldn’t help but look up at the girl who had so tenaciously continued to walk by the practice room.

Hyewon let out another laugh when she heard the sudden slam of keys coming from the practice room before the door had closed. Minju could feel the heat on her face grow hotter, but she couldn’t help but laugh along at how she foolishly kept walking by and how she got caught. Yet Hyewon hadn’t stopped her, after all Hyewon kept count how many times she walked by.

 

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It was odd. It had been two weeks since Minju last met Hyewon. Yet their small interaction replayed in her head millions of time. The lightness in her hand movements, the nonchalant sway of her head, the melodic tune she played, the comforting smile. How for the first time another’s music pulled her in, as though Hyewon was inviting her in. The small yearning feeling of wanting to get to know the girl better only grew with time.

But she couldn’t bring herself to look for Hyewon or find anything about her - more of she wouldn’t. There was a hidden barrier that kept Minju away. Hoping maybe Hyewon could read her mind and find her first, yet it seemed much like her Hyewon stayed away. The only one having the other’s number, she hadn’t once texted Minju. However, if Minju was in her position, she wasn’t sure if she could text Hyewon first either. So she rested in the false hope of Hyewon just waiting for the right time. Anyway, she had far more important things to worry about.

It seemed Yuri could sense the tension in her, feeling the girl’s hand on her shoulders as Yuri shook her a little. “Don’t overthink it, you’ll be amazing” Minju smiled at her childhood friend, grateful she wasn’t alone. It was the day of her audition and had been spending the last 2 weeks preparing for it, glancing over the piece once again, hoping to retain all the musical techniques she had scribbled over the page.

“In the email they said they’d bring in the student of the conservatory,” The school had also invited Yuri to audition, but she had already taken it the day before. She was only here as moral support for Minju.

“Don’t remind me, it only makes me more nervous” Minju groaned out, tapping her ears in aim of forgetting whatever she had just heard. Distracting herself of the added pressure of this so called “special judge”

The head student of the conservatory was no ordinary pianist, they were the best of the best. If the conservatory comprised the best students, they were at the very top. It was speculated that they had scouted the student in their high schools years, safely securing them to attend their college. They’d probably brought them in for an extra pair of ears to evaluate the new batch of contestants. That’s what Yuri thought, looking at the panicked struck Minju. It was already an honour to get an invitation to audition to be in the conservatory.

Knowing Minju, she’d keep herself out of the loop. She doesn’t get caught in the year’s gossips or upcoming musical geniuses. Her life only comprised her and the music she played. “You’ll be fine” Yuri reassured, pinching Minju’s side. There was no need for her to worry after all, she’s only heard of this student only a few times for Yuri.

A professor came out of the auditorium, calling out Minju’s name. She followed the professor into the auditorium. Soon walking out onto the stage, the lights on the stage beamed down. As she made her way towards the black glossy, grand piano placed at centre stage. Minju squinted her eyes, looking straight to the judges. They sat in the sixth row, clipboards in hand as they greeted her. But what caught her eyes was the girl sitting on the far left, holding up a thumbs up paired with the same warm smile as the first time they met. She could see it through the glaring lights, her smile outshined the burning lights.

Her body suddenly felt light at the sight of Hyewon, her nerves slowly dissipating with the bright smile Hyewon showed. She felt the familiar burning feeling in her chest. She knew this time it wasn’t from the bright lights. She had a surge of confidence as she made her way towards the piano. She was going to impress the judges - she was going to impress Hyewon.

Taking a seat at the piano, letting her hands hover over the black and white ivory keys. She pressed down on the keys and the first chord of Chopin’s 24 Polonaise-Fantaisie rung out. Her fingers danced elegantly on the keys as she tiptoed around the melody. Drawing out the piece’s unique musical structure. Her movements were light and precise, she controlled the piece as if it were her own.

Hyewon watched from her seat, seeing Minju traverse between the main theme of the song as she turned the central love song into a triumphant coda. Before the song vanishes with the last few shuddering trills. It left an addicting feeling behind once Minju sat still, lifting her hands off the keys. Hyewon wanted to her play again and again. There was an unparalleled individualism in the girl’s playing that outmatched the other participants. She had turned the piece into her own, the perfect amount of individualism without straying from the piece’s hard notes and tempo. She scurried out of her seat right after Minju exited the stage, going out of the auditorium. She caught Minju in the hallway on the way to what seemed to be her friend.

“You did really well in there, the other professors loved you,” Hyewon congratulated, but mostly she wanted to say how much she loved her playing. But she stopped her praises when she saw the twitch of Minju’s lip, stopping herself from a frown. “I’m sorry for not contacting you earlier, I saw your name on the roster and I wanted to surprise you” Her tone grew sombre with the worry she displayed in her eyes

Minju smiled, accepting her apology. “Are you auditioning too?” She asked, not recalling a Hyewon on the roster.

Hyewon shook her head lightly, “I’m one of the judges today” Minju’s mouth formed an ‘o’. Her eyes slowly grew wide when she remembered the mention of there being a student present today. “Yes, that would be me” Hyewon said answering Minju’s question, although Minju didn’t say it aloud her wide-eyed expression gave her away. It was too adorable - too much for her to tease the girl for it.

Minju bit down on her lower lip, feeling a nervous energy fill her. A few moments ago, seeing Hyewon had helped ease her nerves, seeing a familiar face. But now, standing in front of her, she could barely hold a single conversation. “Please don’t get nervous, it’s just a title nothing more,” Hyewon smiled. It was a basic humble response, most times Minju didn’t believe it when it was such a halfhearted response. But seeing Hyewon’s smile, there was nothing but sincerity. She was being honest. It was no halfhearted response.

“Can I offer you a congratulatory lunch for you performance?” Hyewon asked comfortably, switching the topic, letting it settle Minju’s nerves. Minju wanted to say yes, but seeing her friend repeatedly waving at her from behind, she had to say no. Although there was a hesitation when she gave her answer. But Hyewon nodded her head understandingly before letting Minju go back towards her friend. Just as they began walking away Minju heard a buzz coming from her phone.

Message from *****

Now you have my number too, don’t be afraid to use it ;)

 

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Minju hid in the library’s corner on the second floor, her body hunched over as she hides behind a shelf of books. She at her lunch in silence, her earphones plugged in. Her left hand followed along with the song, pretending to play the piano on her lap while she used her other hand to eat her lunch. Several times, they had educated her on the benefits of having friendships or someone to connect with. School orientations, random strangers, her parents. But she didn’t heed their advice. She distanced herself, floating around, hoping to not be an inconvenience to others.

At the very least she had one friend, Yuri. Their mothers were high school best friends and naturally they were too, having brought up together. Unlike her, Yuri was energetic and social. Often encouraging her to join in social gatherings, although Minju wanted to go. She was far more aware to the fact of being an inconvenience to others. To self conscious of the unfamiliar faces around her, she’d laugh and their jokes but stay quiet unless spoken to. Stammering on her words whenever she spoke out, she wanted to talk, communicate much like everyone else her age. But she could never do it properly without being a mess, she’d only go home too discouraged to try again.

Playing the piano was the bridge that allowed her to communicate her thoughts and feelings. The only time she felt comfortable, she wouldn’t have to worry about stammering on her words or struggle to hold a conversation. All that mattered were the notes on the sheet of paper. And the rest just followed. It came naturally to her. To Minju their words were the like the piano keys to the most beautiful symphonies, but she didn’t care about that. After all, she plays the piano keys to the most beautiful symphonies, without saying a word. Her words remained unspoken, but those who listen close enough will hear her truest feelings portrayed in the notes she played. The small light that brightened her grey monotone world.

Yuri leaned over the shelf, peeking her head to see Minju hidden in the same corner. Lost in whatever symphony she was listening on her earphones, Minju didn’t say many words, but the ones she said were precious. Another word she used to describe what she was feeling, what she was thinking. Yuri smiled as she patted the top of Minju’s head, seeing her friend working hard. Minju smiled up at her with food in , they let out a laugh seeing Minju’s silly smile.

Yuri took a seat in front of Minju, placing down her own lunch “Did you text that girl yet?” Minju didn’t mention much of the girl that had stopped in her the hallway, but seeing the little glances she does at her phone that remained black. She’s urged Minju to text her first. Walking up to her boundary was one thing - however stepping over it was another feat.

“Her name is Hyewon,” Minju snapped back, Yuri paused her bite into her food, surprised at Minju’s reaction. “But no.. I haven’t” Minju said before retreating to her music and lunch, Yuri could see her curl into herself a little more than before. She could only sigh seeing Minju’s desire to text her, but her fear of texting Hyewon first overpowered that desire. Yuri nodded her head along, not poking at the subject.

And so Minju retreats to her silence, her comfort zone - her shell. Instead, letting her playing express her feelings instead.

 

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Minju packed her notes into her bag, finishing another music theory lesson. She had nothing planned today, most likely going to the practice rooms for a few hours before heading back to her dorm. Her routing comprised of going from her dorm, classes, the practice rooms and then back to her dorm. Her life rotated around playing the piano, and it had been for all her life. It was the only way she truly felt free other than being with Yuri. She was distant with her peers and others in her year. She had this barrier that stopped her from waving or saying hi.

She didn’t know the reason behind it, why she couldn’t express herself to others. But when it came to playing the piano, all these worries disappeared - the worry of fitting in with others, creating friends, the constant worry about people liking you or not. She had the freedom to express herself, there were no boundaries, all that mattered was her and the music. When she couldn’t express herself in simple conversations, she found it in playing. What comes easily to most. It only came to her through playing - the world was just too impatient to wait and listen for her to play, so they left her alone.

She swung her shoulder, exiting the classroom towards the practice rooms. The hallway was bustling with students and chatter, with friends calling out to one another - she missed the sound of someone calling out her name. Holding onto the straps of her bag tighter, ducking her head low as she weaved through the students. This time it was always crowded, too crowded she continued forward just wanting to get to the practice rooms and be alone.

She didn’t stop until she felt someone tug at her bag, “Has anyone told you how hard it is to grab your attention?” Turning around, she saw Hyewon smiling back at her. She bowed her head politely, apologising for not knowing she was being called for. Hyewon only chuckled, quickly dismissing the problem. Hyewon kept her eyes on Minju’s - her eyes were mellow and inviting, just like a warm cup of coffee. Minju turned her gaze away from Hyewon’s unable to hold on to her comforting gaze without getting distracted by the loud pounding of her heartbeat that only grew faster and louder.

“For someone who plays like you, I thought more people would know you,” Hyewon said playfully. Her eyebrows furrowed when she saw Minju averting her gaze away from her. She leaned her head to the side, trying to meet Minju’s eyes, but the girl had only averted her eyes in the opposite direction.

“I guess I need to be like you for people to notice me” Minju let out a breathy laugh trying to joke around. But her tongue was against her, twisting on the last few words that dragged out a little longer than she’d like. She could feel her hands get clammy.

“Yeah.. but the only person I want to notice me. Won’t even look me in the eyes” Hyewon said, moving her eyes to the side again to meet Minju in the eyes. This time Minju didn’t look away, instead responding with a perked eyebrow. Her mind suddenly went blank at the sight of Hyewon’s eyes from being able to meet Minju’s. She felt that same burning feeling in her chest again. They stared at each other for a few moments before Minju could gather her words.

“I’m sure they are just shy, they aren’t ignoring you on purpose” Minju explained, understanding how this person must have felt. It was a feeling she was no stranger too. She experiences the same thing many times - too many than she would have liked, but she wasn’t against it either.

“I guess I’ll just have to keep trying for the person to notice me, right?” Hyewon was cheerful, Minju smiled along. Glad that Hyewon was considerate to understand this person. Hyewon grabbed Minju’s hand, placing a carton of juice in her hand.

“They’ll notice you, just give them some time” Minju innocently looked down at the juice, not realising the comment was meant for her - missing Hyewon’s kind gesture, instead believing it was payment for the advice she had given. But she couldn’t help but grimace at the juice; it was apple. “Sorry, I don’t like apple” she returned the juice to Hyewon “But thanks for the offer though”

Hyewon couldn’t hold back her laugh. Maybe it was because she was innocently rejected or to admire how pure minded Minju was. “Your pretty interesting aren’t you Minju” Minju stood confused at the sudden laughter, she just nodded her head along to Hyewon’s laughter. However, she couldn’t help but realise how addicting her laugh sounded, almost bursting into laughter.

“Are you going to the practice rooms?” Minju hummed in response, “Can I join you? I’ll get you juice, preferable one you like,” Minju blinked in surprise, before agreeing after debating it in her head for a few moments. She watched as Hyewon’s smile curved upwards as she looked back at Minju with excited eyes. How does someone smile so effortlessly?

 

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That month Hyewon met Minju many times. After that one interaction, it felt as though Hyewon was everywhere. They all had nothing to do with pure luck, just Hyewon's need to see the other girl. First she would wait for Minju to get out of class, sparing her a quick wave as she walked by - Minju innocently believed her when she pretended that it was on the way to her next class. Unkowingly it had become a routine for Hyewon to wait for Minju in the same corner, except this time have the correct juice - mango juice. 

Most of the time they would spend it at their practice room. Hyewon would arrive first at the practice room since classes ended earlier for her, making it the perfect time to reserve their practice room and to wait for Minju to arrive. 

Minju enjoyed the daily free juice deliveries the girl did for her, even when she knew Hyewon's class was on the other side of campus - after Yuri had informed her as she returned with her daily juice. But mostly Minju looked forward to the time Hyewon would be there waiting for her at their practice room -  it was her favorite. 

She didn’t really know when that practice room became their sanctuary. But suddenly every time Minju went to the practice room, she hoped Hyewon would be there too. And there she would be, in there waiting for her. Practicing in the dark with her flashlight on, just like how they met.

Today was no different, Minju opened the door seeing Hyewon seated on the piano. Only this time Hyewon had dozed off, with her head leaning on the frame of the piano. Minju took a seat next to the sleeping girl, leaning her head on the frame. Her eyes following Hyewon’s features.

From her high-bridged nose, with acutely marked mole on the right side. Her skin was completely flawless. She doubts Hyewon used any face masks or expensive products. That really wasn’t her M.O she was all about simplicity and making things easy. Helping those around her to relax and be happy with something as simple as her smile.Hyewon never took the chance to flaunt her skills or be little others. Being in her company felt like that you too were someone, that you had been warmed in summer rays - sourced by her unforgettable smile regardless of the season.

“Are you just going to stare at me the whole time?” Hyewon murmured, her eyes slowly flickering open. Her smile grew when she heard some shuffling from Minju, imagining her adorable shocked face. Adjusting her eyes to the soft light, she was indeed right, Minju was adorable.

“How long were you awake?”

“The moment you walked in,” Hyewon shrugged her shoulders, checking the clock on her phone, “Wow, you’ve been staring at me for 5 minutes?” Minju let out a little ‘hey’ hitting Hyewon on the arm playfully. Hyewon a bit more before getting up to turn on the lights and start their practice.

 

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Yuri and Minju ate together at their usual spot in the library, doing their own tasks. Minju going over another piece she had for her recital, while Yuri was busy playing a game on her phone. Minju tugged at Yuri’s sleeve, grabbing her attention away from her phone.

“Why don’t we eat somewhere else tomorrow?” Yuri stared at Minju, surprised at the sudden question. Minju let out a small smile, but her lips didn’t curve up naturally. It was a straight thin line, just enough to show her teeth. Much similar to the smile you would show your dentist, trying to hide a cavity you had. It looked unnatural and uncomfortable.

“Why the sudden change?” Yuri’s tone expressed her concern, her eyebrows furrowing. They had eaten nowhere else but the corner, no many times Yuri had complained about the uncomfortable position they had to sit in just to eat their lunch. How her foot would often fall asleep or the ache in her back from hunching over. She’s asked to Minju to eat somewhere else. It didn’t have to be the cafeteria, but at the very least have more comfortable seats. But Minju didn’t budge, sticking true to eating in the cramped corner.

“Hyewon invited me to eat with her and her friends for lunch, she said to bring you along too!” Yuri let out a little ‘ah’ hearing the answer, just from the mention of Hyewon’s name Minju’s face became animated. Her friend was getting attached to her new friend - Minju’s smile whenever Hyewon’s name popped up on her phone, or the little hop she does when she says she’s off to go with Hyewon. How cheerful she gets whenever she explains their practices, sometimes she forgets to take a breath. Yuri wonders if Minju’s attraction was something more than platonic.

“You have been hanging out with Hyewon a lot lately,” Yuri cooed as a mischievous grin on her lips as she nudged Minju with her elbow. Minju only laughed off the tease, they laughed at each other followed by another string of teases. Seeing Minju with a hand on her aching stomach from all the laughter - it seemed there were some things she couldn’t do, even after knowing Minju since they were in diapers. What she had spent years trying to convince Minju, Hyewon could do it within a few weeks. Yuri was now certain their relationship was something more than platonic, Minju was just too innocent to see it.

 

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Once again they met in the practice room. Minju never asked Hyewon to practise with her every day, after all it wasn’t practical for two pianists to practise in a cramped room playing different pieces. But still Hyewon insisted, even going as far as tutoring Hyewon. After all, she was the best pianist who wouldn’t miss the opportunity. However, the glint in Hyewon’s eyes showed it was something else and Minju knew it too.

Hyewon would offer the grand piano to Minju while she took the keyboard in the corner, putting in the headphones so she wouldn’t distract the Kim. She enjoyed hearing the soft murmurs of Minju’s playing behind her own. She couldn’t get over the idea of how well they would play together - although they played separate pieces, somehow it harmonised as though they were one. She’d choose a piece that would display Minju’s truest abilities and feelings, apart from her own. Everyone knew her skills, but it seemed she was the only one aware to Minju’s and someone as talented as her shouldn’t remain as a diamond in the rough.

Hyewon glanced over at Minju, who had already taken a seat in front of the black Steinway piano. She couldn’t suppress her smile or this urge to play a duet with Minju. It didn’t have to be something flashy, just a memory the two could cherish for themselves. To play for no one else but themselves.

She stood up, naturally holding Minju’s hand in hers “We’re going to practise somewhere else today” Minju stumbled on her steps, surprised by the sudden action. Her eyes drifted to their held hands, how Hyewon’s hand effortlessly fit in hers. “Where are we going?” Minju asked, still looking down at their hands as she followed Hyewon

Hyewon showed a fond smile, seeing Minju’s curious yet excited eyes “You’ll see” she said she tugged Minju to come closer, matching her quick pace.

Together they walked to a park. It was silent with little to no people around. The city park seemed rather old, not modernised shown from the lack of concrete interspersed with neat grass verges. It would be one you would see in smaller towns, far from the city. It had miniature formal gardens, benches and water fountains in clear lakes that were stocked with Koi carp. Minju didn’t know such a beautiful park could exist in the enclosure of high concrete scrapers.

Hyewon guided the both of them to a gazebo in the centre, surrounded by patches of seasonal flowers. The sun perfectly setting behind it, lighting the black piano placed in the middle. Hyewon tugged Minju’s hand once again, to walk faster. She could see the eagerness in Hyewon’s eyes as the pianist moved the red ropes aside. Hyewon went into the gazebo, taking a seat in front of the piano. She gestured for Minju to sit next to her.

“Are you sure we can play here?” Minju’s eyes darted from left to right looking for any security that might be here to them out. The red ropes seemed to be placed to keep people away from the piano.

“Would I bring you here if we couldn’t?” Her eyes were half playful, half serious as she looked back at Minju.

“You would” Minju corrected, but Hyewon’s soft laugh dismissed all her worries. Hyewon patted the seat next to her, Minju let out a huff of breath before taking the spot next to Hyewon.

Hyewon asked if Minju knew how to play Pachbel’s Canon in D major. It’s one of the easiest classical piano pieces, but playing with a partner whilst adding your own personal twist made it fun to play.

Hyewon lightly pressed down the ivory keys on the lower register of the piano. She felt calm, like there was nothing else that mattered in the world except for right there and then. Minju never really told her anything about having someone in her life, and Hyewon couldn’t bring herself to ask, knowing how many things Minju kept to herself. Usually she would be able to just insert a joke or two to ease the tension if she didn’t want to answer the question, but once it’s said she couldn’t take it back. Still, a part of her wanted their relation to be more than just something platonic. Being around Minju made her feel at peace more than any classical piece could bring her, and she loved it. She also loved everything about the other girl - or at least the little things she knew about her so far.

In short, Hyewon was slowly falling for Minju, who was very much the opposite of her in everything. Therefore, she would be patient as Minju slowly let her in. Within a few measures, she heard the nimble and bright melody come to life as Minju played. So Hyewon stays hopeful like the melody Minju plays, one note after another Minju lets Hyewon in.

Hyewon turned to Minju, taking in a moment to take in the girl’s beauty - her hair perfectly flowed down her shoulder, the orange and yellow skies that outlined her soft features. Minju looked up from the piano, her eyes meeting Hyewon’s. They heald each other’s gaze silently, enjoying the warm and fond look in the other’s eyes as they let themselves get carried away by the sound of music.

The two working together to create a warm round sound that blended so effortlessly with the sound of the piano. The sun’s fading rays touched them, engulfing them in its rich orange embrace. But it was the look in each other’s eyes that warmed their hearts.

Their eyes never once left the others. Looking into Hyewon’s rich brown eyes, Minju saw a sparkle. As Hyewon’s happiness and colourfulness spread through her grey monotone world. The paintings they created as their colours came to life with the music they played. It was soft and gentle like their touches on the piano - but mostly it reminded her of the feeling she felt whenever she was with Hyewon, how comforting and secure it felt.

Minju was seeing music through a different light, one only Hyewon could bring. As they played the last refrain Minju got a glimpse of life beyond music, life beyond the piano - a life with someone you love.

 

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Hyewon came in late to the practice room. She had already informed Minju that she had a mandatory meeting to meet with their professors regarding an upcoming performance. She peeked through the window, seeing that Minju had already started practicing by herself.

She planned ongoing in, but seeing Minju’s face it made her stop. There was a sense of wistfulness in her eyes, her eyebrows slightly furrowed at the centre. Slowly swaying her head left to right as she played.

Hyewon hid away from the window, using her left hand to open the door slowly. Just enough for her to hear Minju’s playing. It wasn’t her recital piece Minju had been practicing, instead it was Gymnopedie No.1 by Satie. She wondered why Minju had chosen such a sad song, but when she heard the sudden heavy handedness in her playing, it became clear.

She slid down the wall, sitting on the floor with her head leaning against it. The once mellow voiced piano became a profound sadness as it wept. Each open chord became heavier than the last as it dragged you deeper into the darkness. Into the hole where the pianist sat.

The hollowness in the sound as it portrayed the true feelings of the pianist. Portraying the distance between reality and to whose fingers played along the ivory keys.

“Is this how you feel, Minju?” Hyewon mumbled, listening into the heavy hollowness of Minju’s playing

She felt an ache in her chest, as Minju’s sombre tone sank deep into her veins. She hadn’t known Minju for a long time, but she has noticed how reserved Minju was. Often times she would be the one to start the conversation. It felt as though Minju was there, but all she was talking to was the girl’s reflection.

An underlying barrier that stood between them, that kept them apart. She heard Minju enter the second refrain of the song, where it posed more mysterious and weary notes that differed from the open chords. With the addition of the new melody, she could see Minju’s desire to break that barrier that she unknowingly kept up all her life.

The fire in her eyes that burned for the simple act as a human relationship, but Hyewon sensed it was something much simpler than that. It was to be able to speak her words freely and be confident in herself. To be able to open herself more to those around her. Hyewon smiled as she took in each note Minju played, each emotion she tried to portray in her playing.

“I’ll show you the millions of colours you create with the black and ivory keys you play,” Hyewon mumbled to herself as she got up off the floor.

She waited a few minutes after Minju had already finished the piece before entering the room. Minju smiled up at her as she entered the room, unknown to Hyewon listening in on her the entire time.

“Sorry, I’m late” Hyewon apologised as she set her bag on the floor

“It’s okay I wasn’t doing anything, just messing around” Hyewon smiled at Minju’s comment before taking a seat next to Minju on the piano stool. She leaned forward, fixing the sheets of music on the stand.

“Let’s get started?” Hyewon said before beginning their revision of Minju’s recital piece

 

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Just like that, everything changed. Unbeknownst to each other, Hyewon and Minju shared a strong attraction.

It was eminent in the small glances they shared, sitting across from each other in this small restaurant they had walked into on a late Friday Night. Occasionally they’d go on random strolls through the city, without a map, only relying on their hunches.

They’d visit whichever shop that had caught their eye first, strolling through the aisles together. Or enter a restaurant with a menu item they were craving for. Through these walks, Minju learned that Hyewon was easygoing and laid back.Hyewon had no worries about getting lost, or where they would end up at the end of the night. She was willing to try everything, but mostly she wanted to share it all with Minju.

Hyewon had spotted a restaurant up ahead, with a sign hanging down that displayed a grill with an assortment of meat hovering over it. She pointed at the sign with her right hand, and with the other she lightly clasped onto Minju’s hand with hers in what seemed to be a very natural thing for her - Hyewon had done it before, always soft and gentle, but they lasted no more than a few seconds.

Minju was always cautious with others but with Hyewon she didn’t mind, actually she liked the skinship a little too much. That when it was over, she missed the delicate touch.

They stopped in front of the restaurant's front. Hyewon stared as Minju looked over the menu sign propped outside, trying to find the cheapest meals on the menu. They were after all college students, with no jobs or job security in the future to pay for their student loans - at least that mattered to one of them.

She tapped Minju’s hand, again it was soft and gentle. She placed the upmost care in the small touch, just enough to grab her attention “Just get whatever you want on the menu” 

Minju shook her head "We don’t have that much money, we need to save it”

“We don’t need a spending limit, food is a necessity and something we can enjoy,” Hyewon said, taking the menu and called a waiter

“Hyewon, really it’s okay”

Hyewon ignored her and began ordering all of Minju’s favourites - mostly composing of beef. She smiled towards the younger as she finished ordering all their food.

“If you eat miserly, your life will be miserable” Minju wanted to objectify, but then she saw Hyewon's fond smile on her plump lips. Hyewon ment was she said and it showed through her concern tone. She wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t care. Minju felt okay spending the money, because it was Hyewon.

Soon after their food arrived, Minju took out her phone taking pictures of the food. Hyewon went to grab a piece of food, but Minju slapped her hand away, saying she still needed to take a picture. Hyewon laughed, glancing at Minju’s phone screen. It was adorable, even more so when Minju’s pictures all came out blurry and unclear. She stayed silent, finding it way too adorable to about it.

Hyewon grabbed a piece of beef after Minju had finished taking pictures. She blew on the meat to cool it down. She glanced over at Minju, wanting to feed it to her. But it seemed she was far too late as Minju had already eaten a piece of meat. Hyewon stared at Minju, still holding the piece of meat; unsure what to do with it.

Minju noticed Hyewon staring at her, “Is something wrong?”

Hyewon shook her head giving a small smile “Oh, nothing”

She watched as Minju went back to eating. She glances down at the piece of meat. Upset, she wasn’t able to feed it to Minju. She eats it instead, hoping next time she’d be able to do it. She smiled, seeing Minju enjoying the food.

The way Minju’s eyes would widen with every bite she took, the little squeals she made as she shook her hands enthusiastically. How Minju would encourage her to eat this, after she took a bite. She wouldn’t mind spending as much money on food, if Minju enjoyed it so happily like this.

 

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Minju had been accepted in the conservatory, and it was now her first performance. It was the monthly evaluations they hold. Each student performs a piece in front of the other members. Minju sat anxiously back stage as the performance before hers dwindled. She couldn’t stop tapping her foot throughout the performances.

Her heart raced when she heard the performer before her was called onto the stage. She was next. She anxiously picked at her thumb, in a desperation to calm down her nerves. Then she heard someone whispering her name, but she ignored it. Until she felt a hand envelope hers, as they crouched next to her.

“Don’t pick your thumb, your fingers are as beautiful as the music you play with them,” Hyewon’s smile grows when she see’s Minju trying to hide her blushing cheeks. She placed her other hand on top of Minju’s, caressing it softly as she stares directly at Minju “I used to get nervous when I performed too, but lately I found something that made it all go away”

Hyewon paused, letting her words get drowned by the sound of the piano. Minju didn’t know what it was, but looking straight into Hyewon’s eyes. One eye illuminated by the lights bleeding from the stage, while the other submerged in the backstage's darkness. Her eyes were expressive, articulate all upon their own without her lips ever having moved thus far.

The power of a glance has were overused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. But only few people dare say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, when two see the curiosity and wonder in the others’ eyes.

As the stage lights shined brightly on the right side of her face. Minju asked, “What do you do?”

“I picture you seating next to me, playing along with me” Hyewon’s whispered just loud enough for only Minju to hear, a soft smile on her face that was warm and genuine. It lit the same burning feeling in Minju’s chest and her words embraced her like a warm blanket.

Just then the performer had finished their piece, and an applause came from the small audience out front. Hyewon stood up, giving Minju’s hand one last squeeze before she left.

“If you get nervous, just imagine me next to you” Hyewon whispered into ear before leaving to her seat

Minju walked on to the stage, towards the piano. Sitting down, she could see Hyewon in the corner of her eye. She sat in the 5th row 6 seats in from the right, most would choose to seat on the left side of the audience. It was best seating in a concert hall, any avid concerto watcher knew that the left side allowed you to see the pianists hands as well as the best sound when closer to the stage.  

But Hyewon sat on the right side, not to be able to see Minju’s hands. It was the perfect seat to be in Minju’s view. Just enough for her to see Hyewon in the corner of her eye as she played her piece. It was too soon, and she felt hesitant to let someone in so easily, but something told her that it was okay. Seeing Hyewon with the same bright smile she saw when they first met, and those chestnut eyes that pierced through her. If it was Hyewon, it would always be okay.

 

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Hyewon and Minju weren’t alone today, instead of practicing Hyewon had convinced Minju to go to a nearby playground and just play. It seemed childish at first, but Hyewon had gone on about how it was always good to return to our roots of playing mindlessly on the slides. She even insisted on bringing Yuri along as she would do the same and bring Yujin and Yena with her.

Hyewon got hungry, deciding to sit out for a while and eat some snacks. Taking a seat next to Yuri on the bench who was doing the same. Together they ate and watched Yujin and Yena play tag and continued to tease Minju with how slow she ran.

Yuri let out a breathy laugh, hearing Minju’s whining as she tried her best to run towards the other two. What was normal for kids to play together in the playground when they were younger. This was not true for Minju. She often spent her time indoors, playing the piano or doing something else to occupy her time. It was nice to see Minju finally having fun and being able to play unlike when she was younger.

“Minju likes to keep to herself doesn’t she” Hyewon commented, as she folded the empty wrapper of her snack neatly into a triangle

“She’s been like that since we were little” Yuri replied, as she hugged her legs, pulling her knees closer to her chest. Resting her chin on top of her knees as she continued to watched the three play together.

“She likes to stay in her own bubble,” Hyewon pauses, as she looked down at her hands pretending to press down a few chords on the bench “However she doesn’t want to be in it, yet it’s a battle she’s been fighting all her life. Even now..”

“How did you figure it out?”

“When she plays, I never really noticed it at first until I heard her play Gymnopedie No.1 She didn’t know I was listening in but,” Hyewon let out a sigh, looked down at her lap tapping on her knee. Every tap growing heavier. 

“There was a heaviness in her melody, it was if she succeeded in being considered totally uninteresting. So people left her alone, but that wasn’t what she wanted. Now all she wants is for someone to find her interesting”

“Your the only other person who’s noticed” Yuri responded, looking at Minju who was on the swings getting pushed by Yena and Yujin. Apart from Hyewon she was the only one who noticed Yuri's style, how her pauses grew longer and note grow heavy whenever she payed a sadder repetoire. 

A smile had formed on the girl’s face, the way Hyewon and her friends had crawled their ways into Minju’s small shell. To bring a smile that looked so natural on the girl’s face, that was too often forced for comfort. It was something so subtle, yet so significant.

“People get lost in the melodies she plays, they fail to see the harmonies. She is talented, I hope everyone else will see it too” Hyewon’s gaze fell onto the ants crawling on the ground they were travelling from the north towards a hole in the ground. They are small, but at hardworking and diligent as they continue to carry objects twice their size into their burried hole.

It’s like a reminder that all good things come with time and effort, just like an ant we must stay patient and find the food source scattered around the world. Once we find it we must carry with all our strength to bring it back, we must not lose our passion or else it will get carried away with the wind.

No matter how big or small, all accomplishments come in all different sizes. As having survived and endured it all measures the value, only then can we learn and grow. Hyewon believed Minju was strong. She has survived and endured it all till now, but she hopes to be able to lend Minju a shoulder to rest on. As she has endured for too long, to show that she isn’t the only one fighting for her.

“Do you think she knows what she’s feeling?”

“I don’t know if she won’t tell us her playing will” Hyewon showed a comforting smile that sent a calming feeling through out Yuri. It was hard for Yuri to even imagine anyone else in Minju's life now and she was pretty happy with her pianist prodigy. Seeing Minju so happy was good, she seemed more relaxed and confident now as if this relationship had brought up a new side of her to life. 

 

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The school had paired up students in the conservatory to perform duets for the school’s annual winter fair. Although the students could pick whichever piece they wanted to play, the same did not apply to their partners. As much as Hyewon wanted to be paired up with Minju she had gotten her friend instead, Yuri. Hyewon swiftly picked up her things, taking a seat next to Yuri in the audience of the concert hall. Waiting for the rest of the students to be paired up.

Yuri turned to her with a thin smile, “Looks like we’re partners, sorry you didn’t get paired up with Minju” Hyewon waved her hands dismissively in front of her, not wanting Yuri for feeling bad that they got paired up together.

“No need to be sorry, I’m just worried about Minju since she doesn’t know anyone else other than us two” Hyewon vaguely pointed at their position and then towards Minju who stood on the corner of the stage by herself.

Yuri let out a little ‘oh’ now, realising Minju’s unfortunate situation. She only knew two people in the conservation (actually in the entire school) and they had just been paired up together. The two’s attention was brought back to the stage when they heard Minju’s name being called by the director.

“Kim Minju, you’ll be paired with Chaewon. She’s still at the administrative office settling her classes, I trust you’ll give her a warm welcome to the school. You can head to the office to meet her there now, I had already informed the secretary,” The Teacher said with a monotone voice, but it had enough liveliness to her tone to give Minju a verbal reassuring pat on the back.

Yuri groaned in her seat, rubbing her temples with her left hand, “That’s just great, Minju gets paired with a new student she has never seen before. She won’t survive” Her tone was laced with sarcasm and concern for her friend. If the student wasn’t new, at the very least Minju would have been acquainted with the student.

She turned to Hyewon, looking for an answer that maybe she could pull some of her prodigy pianist strings to get Minju paired up with either one of them. But it surprised her to see Hyewon in deep thought, trying to find something that was just on the tip of her tongue. “I’ll go with her to meet the new student” Hyewon urgently said before chasing after Minju had exited the concert hall.

Hyewon had a fascination with this new student, the name it was familiar and she wanted to see if her suspicions were right. After all, who wouldn’t want to see a familiar face. Minju of course didn’t turn down her offer to see the new student, she was nervous to meet them. She didn’t know how to handle such a task of interesting the student to the school and somehow having enough conversations to set up a practice time and choose a piece for the winter recital.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Hyewon. She held onto Minju’s hand, intertwining their fingers, hoping the Kim wouldn’t mind the sudden kinship. She gave Minju a small squeeze “Don’t worry, I’m sure the person isn’t a murderer”

“I think your jumping to far into conclusions” Minju joked. She enjoyed Hyewon’s reassuring touch, not worried about someone seeing them holding hands - the thought of someone catching them passed through her mind, and she didn’t mind if someone actually did.

“If it’s the person I’m thinking of, then they definitely are the complete opposite despite their cold expression,” Hyewon wasn’t sure if the person she was thinking and the one they would meet in the office were the same, but if it was. They deserved a good beating in the for not telling her they moved schools.

“Do you know the person?” Minju knew many people knew Hyewon and it would be no surprise that she knew just as many. But Minju wondered if the person was someone Hyewon knew personally or someone who just acknowledged her skills.

“Call it a hunch” Was all Hyewon gave, and a teasing smile.

But Minju didn’t need the answer, not shortly after her answer was given to her in the form of someone calling out Hyewon’s name when they entered the office. Hyewon smiled widely, letting go of Minju’s hand as she called out the caller’s name and pulling them into a hug.

“Chaewon!” They greeted each other with a small handshake, they must’ve made when they were younger. “You should have told me you were transferring” Hyewon scolded Chaewon, but the latter only responded with a haughty laugh

“That would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it? But how did you know I was in the office, did my mom tell you?” The two laughed, Chaewon’s mother could never keep a secret, especially if it was one that involved Hyewon. Their mothers often exchanged stories and new about their daughters.

Only at that question had Hyewon remembered the reason she had found out about Chaewon’s surprise. She gestured for Minju to come over “This is Kim Minju and this is your partner Kim Chaewon” she gestured to Chaewon who gave a bright smile “She’s the only person I’ll admit that is as good as me” Hyewon acknowledged giving a pat on Chaewon’s back that they both laughed too before Chaewon returned a comment similar to Hyewon’s.

“How do you guys know each other?” Minju’s voice came out a little quieter than she intended, Hyewon gave her a proud smile.

“We went to the same piano teacher and always competed in the same competitions until our teacher introduced our moms to one another and the rest just followed,” Hyewon explained. Minju could see there was an equal respect in both of their eyes as they talked about one another’s skills. “We were like childhood rivals but friends at the same time”

“But Hyewon always won, and I’d take second place” Chaewon replied. But she didn’t have any spite in her tone. She only had respect for their rivalry and Hyewon’s skills.

“I’m sure we’ll have more competitions, now that your here. The school finally has some interesting pianists. Let’s show them the colours we paint,” Hyewon cheered, but her gaze remained locked on Minju.

 

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“You played well today” Hyewon commented, after Minju had just played her pieces for their upcoming recital. Leaving out her duet with Chaewon. Minju replayed with a small smile as Hyewon leaned against the edge of the piano, staring at Minju’s smile, missing the usual excitement it had. “What do you play when there’s no one to hear?” It had struck Hyewon that she had never heard Minju play anything other than the pieces they assigned her - and the one time she listened in on Minju, she wondered if it would be the same piece.

The gentle question caused Minju’s stomach to tighten pleasurably. Flustered by the sensation, she was slow to reply, “I don’t remember the name of it. A piano tutor taught it to me long ago. For years I’ve tried to find out what it was, but no one knew it” A crease grew on Minju’s forehead as she explained honestly. A part of her hoped Hyewon knew this mysterious piece that she had grown attached to.

“Play it for me” Hyewon asked even if she wouldn’t be able to recognise the song, she wanted to see Minju play a piece she genuinely enjoyed.

Calling it up from memory, Minju played the sweetly haunting chords. Her hands gentle on the keys, the mournful chords that never failed to move her. The piano brought her memories of her childhood, a time where she was often alone and a lost. Her heart ached for not knowing the name of such a stirring masterpiece. Maybe some of this feeling had reached the notes, maybe even reaching Hyewon. At the refrain, Minju looked up from the keys and found Hyewon staring at her as if hypnotised.

Hyewon masked her expressions, but not before Minju could see that mixture of fascination and a hint of something hot and unsettling “It’s Liszt”

Minju shook her head with a laugh of wonderful disbelief, “Do you know it?” expectance glimmered in her eyes at the small hope that someone knew the name of her unnamed childhood piece.

“Vallee d’oberman, I too was taught that piece when I was little” Unlike Minju her teacher had told her the name of such an emotionally triggering piece, paired with such unseen thematic transformation that was unheard of its time.

“What is it about?” Minju said eagerly, wanting to know more of this eery piece.

“It reflects the protagonist's weary and lonely character, undergoing an emotional journey, and with each alteration the music takes on a different mood or spirit. Senancour and Byron’s stories had inspired Liszt to create the gloomy and sentimental score”

“Do you know how the story ends?” Minju had noticed they had been speaking in hushed tones as they leaned closer into one another, as though they were exchanging secrets

“No,” Hyewon saw Minju’s dissapointed frown. Hyewon laughed, it was soft and sly when she replied her tone grew comforting "The story doesn’t need an ending, that’s not what matters” it seemed she didn’t have much emotional attachment to the piece compared to Minju.

“What matters then?” Minju provoked

Hyewon’s strong gaze held hers, leaning slightly forward, “That they're still trying. They aren’t blind to the gruelling realities of the human struggle. Like the rest of us we survive, we endure and then we try again”

 

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Minju and Hyewon were in the practice room like most days, practicing for their upcoming evaluations. Although their practice time had gotten shared with Chaewon. Some days Hyewon would be the only one practicing, or join Yuri somewhere else and the same applied to Minju and Chaewon. 

Minju grew accustomed to Chaewon and her serious yet bright personality. Chaewon placed a distinct line between her playing and everything else. She was bright and loud with friends, but the moment she stepped into the practice room she grew calm and collected. She had a different way of taking in music and expressing it. Her playing differed from Hyewon’s.

Hyewon’s was enchanting, her notes taking your hand, guiding you through the garden of fluorescent colours her melodies created. Chaewon confronted the music with sincerity and a strong will that enable her to stand up again her fears, an unswerving fortitude that brought out the most complex symphonies with ease.

But just as Hyewon mentioned Chaewon being the only person who had the same calibre of skills as her. Although as much as the two were different, they were just as similar especially in the way they played. They were both loud and lively, but when placed in front of the piano they were quiet and serious. Precise movements, proof of their years of training. Their hands moved along with no hesitation. Just by the mere existence of the other, they pushed one another to the top. Together they sharpened the other’s skills, running to catch up to the other and take them down.

It marveled Minju at their undeniable skill, that very much contrasted from hers. She too aspired to be as skilled as the two, having sat in front of the black grand piano she went over the same measure for the nth time. Doing her best to catch up to the two prodigies, she had been perfecting this measure for the past 15 minutes. 

Minju goes over the measure again, her fingers moving swiftly along the 16th notes. Yet she missed a single note for the nth time. Frustrated, she slammed down harshly on the keys several times, before resting her forehead on the top of the piano. She slammed on the keys once more, not understanding why she kept missing the same note over and over again.

“I didn’t take you as the person who smashes the keys when they mess up,” She heard Hyewon say after a small chuckle

Minju had forgotten there was someone else in the room. She turned to Hyewon, seeing the girl staring back at her. She felt apologetic for having disturbed the latter. Hyewon sat at the usual keyboard, her headphone hanging off one ear as she faced Minju. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just missed the note again”

Hyewon smiled understandingly, waving her hand dismissively in front of her. “It’s okay”

She stood up from her seat, taking a seat next to Minju. Positioning her self to face the girl before taking the girl’s hand and laying them flat on top of her palms

“Close your eyes”

“No it’s okay, I can figure it out” Minju said confidently, trying to move her hands away from Hyewon

Except the girl held onto her hands, “I want to help you trust me, right?”

Minju was hesitant, but looking into Hyewon’s eyes there was a softness to it. Hyewon had kind eyes. It made her feel at ease as she looked into them. She nodded her head to Hyewon’s question.

“Then trust me when I say you can play it, so close your eyes”

Minju followed Hyewon’s instructions, closing her hands. Soon after she heard Hyewon count down in a low whisper, she placed her fingers under Minju’s like the keys of the piano.

Hyewon slowly hums the tune of the piece, as Minju continued to press down on her fingers. Minju’s touch was soft and delicate, barely putting down any pressure on her fingers. It felt like petals falling onto the palm of your hands.

Hyewon smiled, seeing the pure look the girl had on her face. Minju had so innocently followed her word and continued to keep her eyes closed. So immersed in playing, she had forgotten that she had already passed the note and continued playing on Hyewon’s fingers.

‘You should be confident in your playing, only you are blind to the light at your fingertips’ Hyewon thought as she continued to stared at Minju who still had her eyes shut closed

Slowly her eyes travelled down her well sculptured face until she had unknowingly been staring at Minju’s lips. Her lips were a pale pink that reminded her of a rosebud. The top lip was thinner, but not too thin, and it had a natural cupid’s bow; the bottom one was larger and more plush.

Hyewon didn’t notice when her face had gotten so close to Minju’s, when she could feel Minju’s breath on the top of her lip. It seemed the younger hadn’t realised as she still continued to play on the palms of her hand until Hyewon slowly, inexorably; she presses her lips to Minju’s.

Minju was completely unprepared. You would think that after all the hours she’d spent with Hyewon - watching her talk, laugh and smile - that she would know all there was about her lips. But she hadn’t imagined how warm they would feel pressed up against her own, or how they would end up pressed against her own. It’s soft and gentle and chaste and maybe there're no fireworks or sparks, but it’s better than that – it’s a wave of warmth that fills her up, spilling out from her heart and the warmth of Hyewon’s lips on hers and rushing to every corner of her body.

Hyewon smiled as she pressed her forehead on Minju’s “Be confident in your playing, you're the only one blind to the colours you play”

 

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The day of the winter recital, snow fell that morning. It’s fresh, cold white snow blanketing the ground. But the cold didn’t block out Hyewon and Chaewon’s smiles as the pair walked up the steps to the concert hall. In their long winter coats, hands stuffed in their pockets.

Yuri stared at Minju, who was so consciously staring at the two pianists making their way to them. She hid her snicker behind her scarf. She nudged Minju with her shoulder, finally breaking the Kim’s gaze from the two pianists. “Who knew you’d be lucky to befriend the upcoming piano prodigies in the music world”

“They still don’t beat you though” Minju responded, a laugh escaping the two. Their hot breath forming white clouds in the freezing air. Her gaze shifted from Yuri to the two girls walking about to them, before she had met Hyewon she’d never have imagined befriending anyone else other than Yuri at the school. Now she had four more, all unique and talented in their own ways. It was all thanks to Hyewon, but mostly she didn’t expect to fall for her.

The group exchanged small greetings before checking in with their professors backstage. Hyewon pulled Chaewon aside as they waited for the other two to finish “You know I’m jealous of you” She admitted honestly, there was a playfulness in her tone but there was also a seriousness “I actually wanted to be her partner, I always wanted to do a duet with her in a concert hall”

Chaewon nodded along, seeing the sincerity in Hyewon’s eyes as she talked about Minju “Her playing would match yours you know” She crossed her arms, taking a quick glance at Minju “It actually reminded me of yours” Whenever Minju played there was always a rawness in her pauses, as though she was laying herself bare for everyone to see. The waves of her emotions surge through her fingers, almost like a stormy sea. The red and yellow colours that surged forward, that displayed her anger and loneliness. The only other person who painted such fluorescent colours was Hyewon. She retained the power to suggest atmosphere, mood and emotion all in one piece.

Chaewon glanced between Minju and Hyewon. She wondered what kind of magnificent world the two could create together. “I’m sure you two will blow the crowd away” Hyewon patted Chaewon’s back with a hearty laugh “But don’t think mine and Yuri’s won’t be just as amazing, maybe even more” Hyewon taunted as she wiggled her eyebrows at Chaewon.

In the backstage's darkness, hidden from the bright spotlight on the stage. The moment all musicians yearn for, when you have everyone unravelled in their seats. Where you shine brighter than the glossy finish on the black Steinway piano. Hyewon and Yuri were scheduled to perform last, it boosted Hyewon’s already inflated ego. "Saving the best for last, as always” she thought to herself. Chaewon and Minju would perform before them.

Hyewon held her fist out for Chaewon. The girl smiled as she placed her fist into Hyewon’s. Her knuckles falling into the space between Hyewon’s “The silence belongs to us” they said in a soft whisper before Chaewon walked out with Minju onto the stage.

Yuri stayed beside Hyewon as they stood just at the edge of the curtain, remaining hidden to the audience. “What did that mean?” It was already clear that Chaewon and Hyewon had a long history, much like her and Minju. They all had their own traditions that they kept, but her and Minju’s was nothing as dramatic and the two prodigies. She’d usually just great Minju with a pinch on the side to stop her nerves before she went on stage.

Hyewon smiled looking down at Yuri, as fond memories flooded her “This silence is waiting for us to fill it with something, we started saying it before the other performed.”

“What do you mean by something?” Hyewon only smirked at the comment “You’ll see” Yuri was in for a real treat, even if playing with Minju wouldn’t fully display Chaewon’s ungrowing talent. It would be enough to show everyone in the audience and Yuri that she was talented.

A beautiful sound echoed throughout the concert hall. The noise was the sound of icicles and little sleigh bells mixed into one impacting combination. Chaewon drew out the harsh, powerful bass line as she started the piece. Chaewon was no accompanist, she was a soloist who begged for everyone’s attention, and so she did. She had the audience entranced with her sound. But what was different was that when Minju joined with the bright melody, Chaewon’s bass line merged in perfect time with Minju’s.

If you couldn’t see the pianists in front of you, to an untrained ear it would sound as if it was only one pianist playing. Chaewon’s strong willed playing only flamed the overbearing emotions Minju portrayed. They moved together with so much power, as if they were one pounding heart. Together they flamed the entire concert hall with their flames, drowning them in the emotions that surged unsteadily, surrounded by its red, orange, yellow and blue flames - anger, cowardice, excitement and loneliness inflamed the audience.

After the last note, they sat in their seats breathless for a silent moment that was soon filled with an applause. Chaewon stood up, holding a hand out for Minju to take. Together they walked to the front, bowing towards the crowd.

Hyewon clapped her hands at the memorable performance the two had displayed. They were the perfect harmonic chord. Chaewon’s powerful forced playing that fuelled Minju’s emotional, filled playing. Hyewon turned to Yuri holding her fist up for a fist bump “I look forward to the sound we make on stage"  Yuri smiled as she bumped their fists together 

 

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For Minju, opening up was a slow and difficult process, yet it never felt difficult whenever she talked to Hyewon. She was just as cautious as Minju with sensitive subjects, instead she would share about herself and make Minju feel included in every aspect of her life - be it about her keeping Yujin and Yena in line with their antics or talk about a new piece she had found in the library. Hyewon didn’t fear sharing about herself, and Minju found herself falling for her stories every day.

Minju carefully closed the door behind her, leaning against the wall as she watched Hyewon practicing another piece. She was well emersed into her piece, her eyes closed as she gave herself to the music. A serene smile on her face as she played the tranquil melody with her hands so effortlessly.

Minju couldn’t suppress the smile that too formed on her face, getting pulled in by the sweet tone Hyewon played. She could feel the minutes slow down, enjoying the calmness of Hyewon’s playing and the yellow light that illuminated a quarter of the room brought.

Once in a while they would flirt, Hyewon mostly. Delivering her lines with the greatest ease with the smile Minju knew so well by now. She would return with a smile of her own or sometimes risk flirting back and get a little flustered every time Hyewon inched her face closer, or reach a hand out for hers and intertwine their fingers. They were small gestures, barely enough to consider them anything more than friends.

Still, it meant a lot to her - she had never been in a relationship or let alone become close with anyone other than Yuri. All she had were Yuri’s previous relationships and the exciting ones that movies often showed. And getting pulled into a warm embrace by Hyewon was enough to make her feel like a giddy teenager in every romance movie.

Hyewon greeted Minju with a smile back after playing the last chord in the piece. Her eyes seemed darker under that light, examining Minju’s face with attention. “You look really pretty today” her voice as soft as the smile on her face “Actually, you seem really happy standing there”

Minju didn’t know what to say. There was a nervous energy filling her up, one similar to the lead character who didn’t know how to deal with their crush - in all honestly it perfectly describes her. A simple compliment she’s heard before, yet there was something different about the way it made her feel. Maybe because of how genuine it sounded, or how it was said so spontaneously, or maybe it was because Hyewon was the one saying it.

Hyewon smiled with an understanding look in her gentle eyes as she nodded, “Would you like to hear another piece?” Her usual comment came in perfectly to ease the tension in the air, Minju shot her a thankful look as she nodded her head.

Hyewon scooted over on the bench, patting the space beside her for Minju. She loved how well Hyewon could read her emotions and guiding it in such a natural way. The melancholy she felt earlier got pushed away once the warmth from Hyewon’s smile reached her.

“I’ll play your favourite” Hyewon’s voice only loud enough for Minju to hear. She scooted a little closer, pressing their shoulders together. Stealing a quick glance at the younger pianist. The same gentle and genuine smile on her face and Minju could feel her chest grow lighter as they stared at each other before Hyewon played the first chords of the song.

 

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“You look like you’ve just been assigned Moonlight Sonata,” Hyewon nagged, as she leaned into the wall. She found Minju's furrowed eyebrows and slightly hunched shoulders adorable - she was confident that Minju wasn't going to struggle with the piece, it was nowhere near the difficulty of the Moonlight Sonata. But Minju looked too adorable to miss the chance to teaser her on it. 

Hyewon had a smug look on her face, Minju figures it was from the hoard of students that rushed to congratulate her. After getting asked into an in prompt performance for her class, when the professor saw her peeking through the door. Minju laughs at the other students who swooned over her when she walked in - knowing that the reason for Hyewon’s visit was to drop off music sheets for those in the conservatory. She had volunteered to deliver it since it was Minju’s class.

However, seeing the other students flock to her, even asking for some tips and giving her gifts left an eery feeling in her stomach. Minju often felt guilty for not being able to give Hyewon everything normal couples had. She couldn’t even announce their relationship to their friends yet - still Hyewon would laugh it off, telling her to take her time. All that mattered was that they were together and happy. No, many times she said it Minju could still see the sincerity and fondness in her eyes, the same warmth and acceptance of her downfalls that only till recently she had only experienced from Yuri and her family.

Hyewon gave her the same affection Yuri and her family had provided her all her life, maybe even more. Hyewon was patient and caring, always willing to accept her limitations and aid her instead of pushing further. Her love was like a blanket, warm and soft, one that she wanted to cuddle in forever.

Minju shook her head lightly, showing a small smile “Nothing, I just realised how popular are” Although she shared a normal smile, Hyewon could see the worry she tried to hide. Hyewon reached her hand out, placing it on top of hers, rubbing the top of her hand softly.

“Don’t worry” Her smug look disappeared, replaced by the fondness in her pearly eyes that Minju had known so well now “I won’t look anywhere else…. I will only look where I’m looking right now,” Hyewon kissed her on the lips before Minju could lean away.

The younger’s hand shot to her lip, surprised by the sudden kiss. Staring at Hyewon, she only say the smile that always made her feel warm and comfortable.

“If you hate my kisses, you can always return them,” Hyewon said playfully. It seemed she could sense Minju’s shock and in return inserting a teasing comment to ease Minju’s nerves. Minju no longer felt cautious to the stares of passing students - which seemed to only be made in her head, as no one blinked an eye to the couple. Minju only returned Hyewon’s comment with a grateful smile for having someone as caring and patient as Hyewon.

 

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Like much nights, Hyewon and Minju enjoyed dinner together after practice. Hyewon reached for Minju’s hand, caressing her hand lightly. “Do you think we should be heading back to your dorm?” It was getting late and soon the last trains were about to leave. Looking around, it seemed they had travelled far from the campus.

“How come you never invite me over?” Hyewon stopped walking, surprised by the sudden question. Minju tilted her head, waiting for Hyewon’s reason. It was true, Hyewon had never invited her over. She lived alone in a single apartment, a train stop away from the university. She could have asked her to come over anytime, but what stopped her was overstepping a boundary.

“Well.. I didn’t know if you wanted to come over,” Hyewon answered truthfully, with her eyebrows raised and lips pursed she asked “Would like to come over then?”

Now the tables had turned, and Minju became flustered by the sudden question. She couldn’t give a verbal answer, only giving a small nod of her head. Hyewon pulled at their held hands pulling Minju closer and pressed a small kiss on Minju’s lips, she grinned satisfied with Minju’s surprised expression. Minju swore she saw an extra skip or two in Hyewon’s walk.

“Do you want something to drink?” Hyewon asked as she stepped into the living room where Minju was seated on the brown leather sofa, glancing around the apartment with curious and observant eyes.

The apartment was clean; she had a shelf filled with music books and several awards displayed some more than others. Individual awards hung on the wall or laid on top of a tabletop, while others were used as bookends. But what caught her eye was the grand piano displayed in the corner of the living room, nested just in front of the window - it wasn’t as big as the ones you’d see on stage, it was a baby grand piano. That fit perfectly in the nook of Hyewon’s living room, without having to sacrifice the quality of sound or the dramatic look a grand piano brought.

Minju brought her attention back to the pianist as she placed her cola on a coaster. Hyewon sat on the other end of the couch with her legs crossed as she took a sip from her own can. The moonlight that crept in through the window brought Minju’s attention back onto the glossy baby grand piano “Is there a reason why you practise with only a flashlight on?” Minju only grew curious to the reason Hyewon stays committed to the limiting light.

Hyewon set her drink down on another coaster, leaning back in her chair. It wasn’t an uncommon question, but she found it uncommon for Minju to wait this long for her to ask. Already being a few months into their relationship after they had placed a label on it. “What do you see when you play?”

Minju adjusted her weight in her seat, not having an answer to her question. When she plays, she doesn’t really think of anything or see anything than what was in front of her, if she took her focus away from the piece she would probably mess up “I don’t know, the keys?”

Hyewon kept her strong unwavering gaze on Minju, she nodded her head gesturing for Minju to continue. “I guess I see the shiny reflection on the black finish of the piano, the floor underneath. What does this have to do with your flashlight?” Minju complained, not really seeing the point. There was nothing special about the floor unless you were interested in how many cracks there were.

“In a way, music is like poetry or painting. I think a pianist is the painter or poet of Music. The way our hands press down on a key, the sound we produce slowly fills the silence and one by one we fill it with the colours of music,” Hyewon stared back at Minju, her demeanour timid, her eyes watching Minju very carefully. Minju took her words in like they were golden. Slowly it felt like world stopped as the other crept closer.

“Even if music can’t portray an object as clearly as poetry or paintings. It evokes your heart and tranes it into a musical experience, an experience that can only be perceived through music,” The gap between them nearly disappeared between them, but Hyewon stopped at that moment. She stared at Minju, searching for any resistance, any rejection. “What colours do you see right now?”

Minju could feel Hyewon breath tickle her chin, she stared at Hyewon’s eyes, it almost took her breath away. In the dark, lit room she could see the richness in Hyewon’s eyes. Her eyes were warm and fond, although there was something darker that swirled in them “Red” (passion and lust) “Yellow” (happiness and caution) “and pink”

A hand gently pressed against her cheek as Hyewon leaned closer, she felt another hand rest on her back.

Pink for harmony… affection.. and love

The rest of her sentence danced on Minju’s lips, as Hyewon waited in front of her, waiting, waiting for any sign from Minju. She hesitated, too scared to close the gap.

Minju closed the gap between them

and love

Minju repeated onto Hyewon’s lips

 

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The stars lit the sky despite the light pollution coming from the city. The brightest stars shined through, even if their light was weakened. Minju tightened her hold on Hyewon’s hand as she stole a glance of the girl walking beside her. She never expected the mysterious pianist she had never seen before to make her fall this hard. Someone who knew her so well, as though she was one of her pieces. Inevitably, she let go her last line of defence, letting Hyewon have full access to her heart. It was a risk, it always was, but if this relationship taught her something it was that the only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut wide open - with Hyewon by her side, it didn’t feel as scary.

It was a simple moment, a scene that happened often now. But it made Minju feel happy and wish they would never stop having memories like this. Hyewon tugged on her hand as a smile formed on her lips, seeing a playground in the distance. Pointing at the playground, guiding Minju to the small city playground, she gestured for Minju to take a seat on the swing. Taking a seat, she felt Hyewon’s hands on her back as she pushed her. Her hand disturbed when she felt herself getting close to the sky, but then she’d feel it again whenever she fell back to the ground. Hyewon pushed Minju on the swing over and over again, catching her every time she fell back down.

Hyewon had stopped pushing her now, instead standing behind the girl as she gave Minju a back hug with her head pleasantly on top of Minju’s. Exchanging secrets and heartfelt compliments, Hyewon reached down for Minju’s hand, intertwining their fingers together, letting their hands rest on Minju’s shoulder. “Minju, do you think your a good pianist?” Minju tried to peek at Hyewon’s expression, without moving her head. But her view was blocked, instead just fiddling with Hyewon’s fingers.

“I think you already know the answer to that question, Hye” Minju knew Hyewon thought she was a good pianist or rather an exceptional pianist. She constantly reminded her that she was one. She became confident in her playing, knowing Hyewon believed in her playing just as much as herself.

“Yeah, but I think being told and admitting it is different. You know?” Minju couldn’t see Hyewon, but she could imagine the girl staring at her with that fond look in her beautiful eyes. Minju tried to move her head to face Hyewon, but Hyewon clicked her tongue, turning her head to face the front.

Minju took some time to ponder her answer, and Hyewon waited patiently for her like always. She believed she was good but then again being surrounded by amazing prodigies like Hyewon and Chaewon, she couldn’t label herself as ‘good’ at the very least decent - it seemed Hyewon had got to the answer before Minju, only waiting for her to reach the same answer. With how often she heard Hyewon and Chaewon complimenting her playing, she convinced herself she was - in reality she didn’t, her reason for playing remained the same.

“I don’t think I’m good, but I try because it’s the only thing I can do” She heard Hyewon grumble a small hum from above her. Minju knew there were much better people than her, Hyewon and Chaewon were the evidence. But that never stopped her, because playing remained her only outlet of self expression. Granted, she earned a few more outlets to express herself and other outlets where she didn’t have to try as hard. Playing the piano was the one outlet she was certain she had full control of, where her words transcended mere adjectives and verbs - it was a musical experience.

“I don’t think so..” Minju thought Hyewon would go into the direction of returning it to the Kang reminding her how she was an excellent pianist, but it was different and she felt it in the tighten of her embrace. “You don’t try because it’s the only thing you can do.. you try because you enjoy it. You try so you can portray every single emotion you feel” With every technique and piece she learned, Minju learns a new way to express herself. From twinkle little star to Liszt, Chopin, and Bach - she was an overflowing fountain of emotions, all waiting to be released with each new piece.

Minju turned to face Hyewon, and there was the fond look she had imagined. The piano always brought her to distant times, a time where she was alone and fearful. Naturally her feelings reached the notes even though she played cheerful notes - those notes had reached Hyewon, as she chose to listen to her notes instead of ones that belonged to the piece.

Hyewon leaned down to be eye level with Minju, watching the emotions swirl in Minju’s eye - that night she fell in love with the way the city lights danced in her eyes “You don’t have to say it to show it, it’s clear in the way you play” her voice only loud enough for Minju to hear, before she gave a peck on Minju’s lips. They stayed still for a few minutes. Doing nothing but staring in each other’s eyes. Minju had never felt more accepted and secure then at that moment. Her heart was out bare for Hyewon and yet she didn’t feel scared, only grateful for Hyewon’s presence.

A midst their confessions, Hyewon wanted to confess something of her own. It had been laying in the back of her head for sometime, too afraid to even bring it up, terrified of taking the risk. But looking deep into Minju’s eyes now, she saw Minju lay her heart out bare for her - so she bared hers out too, “I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.. I hope to marry you.. I hope to have it all with you” Hyewon searched Minju’s eyes, searching for rejection, searching for a sign. She bit down on her tongue, rethinking if it was too soon to say it. She began to move away when Minju held on to the collar of her shirt, pulling her closer.

There was a different look in Minju’s eyes that night, one that swirled with different emotions “I love you” Minju whispered onto her lips. She held Hyewon a breath away from her. The word held a different weight than usual. It was heavier, a little more meaningful, maybe because they both let go of their last defences. Giving total access to their heart into the other’s hand.

It was a risk, this they knew. But they too knew there wouldn’t be anybody else in the world they trusted more to hold their heart. To protect it with their love. As they leaned into one last kiss, their lips whispered:

You’ve touched my heart in a way music couldn’t, please be gentle

 

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Hyewon was walking Minju to class, watching her wave goodbye just before going inside. Hyewon formed a thin smile, too distracted by the lingering gaze of someone in the distance - only their gaze wasn’t on her but on someone else. She waited until Minju got into class before approaching the familiar figure. “Hey Chaewon, are you heading to class to?” she asked as though there was nothing that was bothering her.

Chaewon nodded her head, “Do you want to head to class together?” Hyewon hummed in response as she followed in step after the Kim. Hyewon knew that their class was nowhere near Minju’s class, she was brought back to Chaewon’s lingering stare on the other Kim along with her presence outside her classroom.

They were halfway to their class, walking through the courtyard before Hyewon broke their silence “You know when I mentioned competition on your first day, I didn’t know we’d be competing for the same girl too” Hyewon said it with ease as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb on Chaewon. Unlike her the Kim had slowed her pace before completely stopping in her steps, Hyewon looked back at her with a perked eyebrow as though she was clueless to the reason (when they both knew it was the very much the opposite)

“I guess you caught me” Chaewon admitted, but it came out in more of a hushed whisper. She was expecting a teasing look, or a surprised look from Hyewon. Instead, she only had an understanding look on her face, one that said there were no judgements. Chaewon took a few steps towards Hyewon, placing a comfortable distance between them, “It’s pathetic isn’t it.. I have no chance, yet I’m the fool who fell for her”

Chaewon tried to hide her self pity in between breathy laughs. It tugged at Hyewon’s heart strings seeing her friend falling into the cycle of unrequited love, one she had never experienced nor was an honour she dreamed of. “I don’t think it’s pathetic” Chaewon’s eyes flicked up, matching hers “Your entitled to your own feelings, and you fell for someone. I won’t tell you to stop liking them or not, you just have to bear everything that comes with it. The wounds, the helplessness - if you choose to bear it, be strong”

Chaewon patted Hyewon’s shoulder, turning her the other way. Slugging an arm around her shoulder as they began walking back to their class “Your too considerate sometimes you know, here you are giving your competition hope when she's clearly into you"

Hyewon laughed placing her arm on Chaewon's shoulder, “I won't tell you to let go or hold on, we all have our own roads and ours just so happen to cross again.” Chaewon saw the softness in Hyewon’s eyes she held no judgements - Chaewon wonders how she earned such a friend. “But don’t think I’ll ever let her go” The playfulness returned in her tone as she pulled Chaewon down, ruffling her hair, drawing out a laugh from the two childhood friends.

 

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“Your so cute when your still sleepy” A chuckle left Hyewon’s lips as she watched Minju drag her feet out of their room. Her slightly pink eyed look and slouched shoulders, Minju let out a little whine, still sensitive about her looks in the morning - even if it wasn’t the first time. “It’s true! You look good no matter what time it is” Hyewon nagged, placing her morning coffee on the side table.

Hyewon held her hands out for Minju, who gladly leaned into the comfort of Hyewon’s embrace. The small couch was barely big enough for them, but she didn’t mind it. Sitting on Hyewon’s lap and hugging her by the neck instead of taking a seat beside her. She only pulled Hyewon closer.

Minju hadn’t been home for a while now - the one she had paid thousands of dollars for, a dorm that was cozy enough for her and Yuri. Instead, she spent it at her new home, one formed by Hyewon’s arms. Snuggling with her girlfriend at her apartment, months before she could barely mouth those words ‘her girlfriend’. Now all she wanted to do was shout it to the world. After a full day of school, they’d walk home together. Sliding into some comfortable pants and oversized shirts, snuggling together on the couch watching to whatever was on air.

“You were up late practicing again” Hyewon was talented, there was no doubt about that. But she didn’t get to where she was by just flying on pure talent. She placed in the effort, sacrificing sleep to practise her pieces to absolute perfection. Once in a while Minju would wake up from the chilly breeze on her back where Hyewon’s warmth was often found, trapped in between her lover’s arms. Then she’d hear the soft mellows of the piano singing through the walls, Hyewon’s calming melodies became her lullaby whenever she woke up in the middle of the night. It was a warm touch that differed from Hyewon’s physical touch - but it carried the same weight that let her depict Hyewon even when blindfolded.

Hyewon furrowed her eyebrows slightly, tilting her head to be able to steal a look at her. Concern replaced the playfulness in her tone, “Did I wake you? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to. I can get a keyboard for when I practice late”

Minju hushed her, fixing Hyewon’s loose hair that had fallen out of her messy bun, her fingers brushing softly against her cheek. “No need, I like hearing you play, it helps me sleep”

“Are you saying my playing is boring?” The pianist faked a gasp, pretending to be offended, although she tightened the embrace, her hands caressing Minju’s back.

Minju hit Hyewon’s shoulder lightly, rolling her eyes to Hyewon’s playfulness “What I meant is that it’s like a lullaby”

“Then I’ll play for you every night before you sleep,” Hyewon kissed Minju’s cheek, giving her that smile that always gave Minju that warm feeling in her chest - she knew now that it was love.

“I’d rather have you cuddle me to sleep” Minju hugged her girlfriend a little tighter, kissing Hyewon. Not a deep kiss, just a brush of their lips together in between fond smiles. Caressing Hyewon’s next, she brought her in a little closer for another kiss, a few seconds longer, that portrayed her fond feelings “You are more beautiful than the melodies you play”

“Only because you make my world colourful” Hyewon cupped Minju’s cheek, giving her a last kiss before pulling her closer. Her world always had colour. It was one brought by music. The colours that were brought by the notes she brought to life, but now she could see the colour without having to play. It would be there when she held Minju’s hand, when she saw Minju skip to her to receive her daily juice. At nights her small apartment always seemed a little cold and lonely. Maybe she should ask Minju to move in - just not now. Together they enjoyed these small moments when they could just cuddle and lose themselves in each other’s arms.

Closing her eyes, she hugged Hyewon. Thankful for having walked by Hyewon’s practice room 6 times so many months ago, her curiosity that made meeting Hyewon possible. She snuggled further into Hyewon’s embrace. Resting her head on the crook of her neck where she left a light kiss, inhaling the familiar scent of baby powder and soap, that was her favourite scent now. “I love you”

“I love you too” It wasn’t their first time they said those words. Let it be through soft whispers before bed, through encouragement before their performance, through tight hugs and passionate kisses, or even as simple as holding hands during their night walks. Still, the gesture never lost its weight as it never lost its meaning. 

 

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Hyewon could hardly stand still, waiting for the clock to strike 7pm. The cool breeze that showed the nearing of fall and the beginning of winter. The foliage above could be my infinite dreams of scarlet and gold, playful in the soft light, colours ignited for all who care to see. They were like candles; the trees shedding its colours, welcoming the cold weather of winter. But behind the breeze, she could feel something hiding behind the calm breeze. However, she didn’t let that side track her from today. Today was an important day, not because it was the day she would begin her career as a concert pianist - but because it was the day of her and Minju’s 2nd year anniversary.

She could only see the girl briefly in the morning as she dropped her off for classes before heading to the venue. She’s shaken hands with countless sensationally pianists and received just as many compliments. It was a day she would know to remember. It was the start, the beginning. But still nothing excited her than seeing her girlfriend later. She prepared a special gift; she didn’t go big and prepare a whole grand gesture. That was never Minju’s M.O, but she bought something she hoped to see Minju wear all the time, when she’s in class, when she’s with friends, when she’s with her, especially when she’s playing. Hyewon looked down at the soft velvet box in her hand, acknowledging the material under her touch. Before she could flip it open, her professor called her over to meet someone. She glanced at the clock as she pocketed the box inside her pocket. It was getting close to the time, and her smile only grew.

Hyewon had finally identified the mysterious eeriness behind the breeze. The peaceful, quiet sky was long gone and had transformed into a thunderous and furious storm. She found it ironic how the weather perfectly portrayed her day. The bright and calm breeze that came in the morning, as she sent a morning message to Minju excited to see her later tonight - it was their two year’s anniversary, and had planned to see her at dinner after she finished her concerto performance. Hyewon was in her last year of college, which meant she had to make multiple connections in the music world to further her career as a concert pianist. She didn’t spare a moment to get gigs and meet with colleagues of her professors.

Even with her packed schedule, she never forgot to spare time for Minju or drop anything for her. She was still her priority, and right now that was all that was on her mind - she was an hour late to their dinner, and she was still 20 minutes away from the restaurant. Much like the weather, her day had turned into a rushed storm as things started later than scheduled, resulting in her being late for her and Minju’s important date. Rain lashed against the windshield of Hyewon’s glossy black car as she drove down the four lane high way, going a little over the speed limit in her rush. Her wheels slipped a little on the wet slippery pavement, but she kept her car steady. Hyewon peered through her windshield trying to see what was ahead of her; it was pitch black outside, with not even a star in the night sky, and only the moon’s faint light and the small orange lights coming from the rear of the cars in front of her.

Outside, the rain was coming down in torrents, blurring Hyewon’s vision even more. The windshield wipers whipped back and forth over the window, attempting to clear away the large droplet clinging to the glass. Hyewon saw her dark phone screen light up as Minju’s contact name flashed on screen. Hyewon grew uneasy, glancing at the clock on her dashboard. She reached for her phone in the passenger seat to answer Minju’s call, coming up with a quick apology in her head. The phone just in her grasp, she leans down to pick up the phone call, barely uttering a word before two blinding lights suddenly blazed ahead instead of the piercing orange colour. In a strange way, she both knew and didn’t know what was happening. The sound of cars screeching bracks and tires skidding on the wet pavement. They convey a horrible reality; Hyewon finds that she cannot think clearly or to will herself to stay awake for this nightmare.

A tremendous blow hit the car, and it seemed like an immense weight was thrown on Hyewon - a waterfall of glass cascading down on her as she remained bolted in her seat, her head resting on the roof of her car. A distant voice that drew her attention, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. She squints her eyes, trying to remove the haziness as she looked around her flipped car for her phone. She sees her phone just outside the windshield. Dread seeps into her dazed, foggy consciousness: If I unbuckle my seatbelt, maybe I can reach it. Her head grew heavy, she felt paralysed in her seat. “Minju” She could barely say in a whisper “Minju” she repeats, hoping the fierce winds carry her voice to the small device. She stares up at what supposedly was the bottom of the car - unable to move her feet. She felt helplessly frozen. “I’m sorry” The weight growing heavier as the blood quickly rushes to her head, and then suddenly the immense weight was lifted off her as she seemed to float away into complete and utter darkness.

 

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Hyewon woke up to the feeling of sunlight against her face. It was warm on her, certainly something that one would find comforting, but as she stirred in bed, she was certain that something was off. She saw Minju on her right, a small reflection of the white blinding lights on her tear-stained cheeks. Hyewon pulled a solemn face. She reached out her hand to run her fingers through her hair, except her hand didn’t move. Looking down swiftly, Hyewon’s sights locked onto her hand; Minju’s resting on top of hers but she couldn’t feel it. She couldn’t feel it.

There was a numbness below her shoulder. She stared at Minju’s hand on top of hers. There was no warmth, no pressure, there was nothing… it didn’t feel like her hand. Devastation weighed down on Hyewon in that instant. It was a surreal feeling, one that she could never in a million years describe. It squeezed her, threatening to crush her from the inside out. The pain seared itself into her soul, hindering her, rending her speechless to the point where she no longer knew what words were.

A sob wretched its way out from Hyewon’s throat.

She tried desperately to hold it in. Tried so hard to keep herself together, but she knew she was too weak to pull such a bluff. Once the second sob had left her, she felt herself spiraling. There was no hiding it. She was undone.

She wanted to cover with her hand to stop the sobs that were torn from her, no matter how much she begged for it to move. They remained planted to the sides of her. She couldn’t hide the pain of what had been torn away from her. Minju stirred awake from her noise, Minju kept her eyes half-lidded and her movements reserved. Minju held Hyewon’s face against her neck. She reached a hand out and took Hyewon’s hand into her own, Hyewon’s automatic reaction was to curl her fingers around Minju’s grasp. But they both knew this wasn’t the case, Hyewon’s hand remained stiff under her touch as it laid flat on the bed.

 

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Hyewon sat straight up in her hospital bed. Watching outside the window, snow fell, it was no longer fall. They had entered a new season, winter. “Do you think I can stand in the snow?” her voice was soft, it was neutral just enough to hide her underlying emotions.

Minju gazed at the back of Hyewon’s head with a perplexed look. Trying to understand what she was thinking. “I guess you can… Just as long as you’re feeling better” Hyewon scoffed. It was a quiet sound.

“I am. Stop saying that already. That was a week ago.” Minju furrowed her eyebrows. She didn’t believe Hyewon was alright, no matter how times she said she was. It was physically impossible for someone to be “alright” after going through what Hyewon’s been through. She knew how important her hands were to her, yet she continued to smile.

“I know, but it was bad” Minju couldn’t help but worry about Hyewon, even though her smile said otherwise.

“That happened once” Hyewon turned her head, the pillow crumpling under her neck. She looked at Minju with heavy-lidded eyes. She was pale, yet she kept that same smile on her face. Her smile warmer than her cold hands “I’m fine now.”

Minju couldn’t help but smile back at her. She leaned her chin against the palm of Hyewon’s hand and chortled. “Or at least as fine as you can be right now”

Hyewon groaned, feeling a shot of pain run through her lower back as she attempted to lean down, but it didn’t stop her from placing a kiss on the top of Minju’s head. “You better not be missing any practices to come into the hospital for me”

Hyewon smiled warmly at Minju as the Kim turned her head to face her. Although her smile and words were warm, Minju could see the tension underlying her tone. Hyewon never failed to remind Minju to continue practicing, after all she had asked her organizers to give Hyewon’s part in the concerto to Minju. Even at her worst, she still prioritised Minju. The Kim found it ridiculous, although she was grateful for opportunity Hyewon gave her. She just wishes Hyewon cared as much about herself as she did for her.

 

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Hyewon laid there quietly, keeping her eyes closed. Matching her breaths to the beeping of the machines that surrounded her bed, the only indications of her heart beat - her existence. Her doctor’s words repeated in her head:

You suffered a brachial plexus injury in the crash. We were able to reattach the torn nerve. but there will be a lack of movement and feeling in your arm, including your shoulder and hands

She heard the door open, followed by footsteps. Curiosity pried open her heavy-lidded eyes. Her parents walked into the room cautiously, Hyewon did her best to smile at them but she was far too weak to keep up the act. Even if she could, they’d be able to see right through her - unlike Minju.

“Hey sweetie, sorry we couldn’t come in sooner. Your father had a mandatory board meeting” Her mother said, taking a seat next to Hyewon. Her father pulling up a seat on the left.

Her father’s hand ghosted over her fingers. If someone understood her pain, it would be them. They all shared the same desire and passion for music (the piano). They’ve seen her hard work since the day she placed a finger on those black and ivory keys. Although they were sensations in the music word, they never pushed her to continue in their steps. They watched her pick her own dream and put in the effort each day to reach it. Just as she was on the doorstep it was wrongfully torn away from her.

Hyewon could see the tears her mother held back “I know… I know” she said a hushed whisper as she stared at her mother, the tears she held back slowly trickling down her cheek one by one. Her hand reached out to her mother’s cheek, it shook as she tried to wipe away her tears.

“How many surgeries did you undergo?” Her father asked, his hands locked onto her shaking hand on her mother’s cheek.

“Three” Her answer was brief, laying her hand back down to her side. Three surgeries, yet she could barely hold her hand open or keep her hand from shaking. It was unbearable.

“We want you to come back with us” Hyewon let out a quiet huff, glancing between her parents “Your mother and I have discussed it on our way here. We spent days looking for a doctor who can help you, we found one. So come back with us to Italy, they are much better there”

“Wait, I can’t just drop everything and leave with you guys” Her voice came out shaky and huskier than she had expected, suddenly felt dry.

“Hyewon, if it’s school we can get you into the best schools there. They can offer you so much more, we have connections, name it and we’ll do our best to give you everything” Her father clasped her hands between his as he leaned down to meet her eyes

“We don’t want you to give up, we’ll be here with you every step of the way. You’ll be better pianists that both of us combined” Her mother brushed her fingers through her hair, she could feel her trembles.

“Thank you” Hyewon smiled as a tear fell from her eye, for once she felt hopeful. But her smile didn’t stay long “But… I can’t leave Minju”

It was no doubt the better option, her parents had always urged her to go with them to Italy since she started highschool. She could be taught under the best pianists with their connections, go to the most pretigious music schools in all of Europe. She was unsure of the reason why she didn't go with them in the beginning, but now she was certain why she should stay. One reason that would make her through it all away. 

There was a silence between them, as her parents exchanged worried glances before her mother broke the silence “We’ll give you some time to think about it”

 

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In her life, Hyewon had given more of herself than perhaps was wise. She had loved without boundaries and poured herself into everything she did. When her friends came, they brought her home-cooked meals; they nourished her body and soul. But loosing everything she was, was far crueler than any melancholy classical piece she’s ever played. Still the pain remained, every day was a battle to not lose hope. She had files of full musical compositions on her phone, only a click away. But she had no strength to listen to one for more than a minute at a time; with the constant reminder of her unable hands, she couldn’t care for the music anyway.

Sometimes Minju would play a video of a piece she practised to help her fall asleep. When she woke up Minju would always leave a note to say she’d be back after school, signed: love Minju. She kept every note in the dresser stuffed in her bag of sweets to make sure the cleaners didn’t throw it away.

There was no dignity here, when alone her deeply etched face with the lines of laughter and love, it fell with gravity. Reserving her strength to smile for her visitors. Minju paused the video, seeing Hyewon’s eyes closed and the steady rise and fall of her chest. Minju grabbed a post it note from her bag, writing a small note and signing it as she usually does.

She placed the note onto the flower vase she had brought in with her, filled with bright pink flowers - it gave the room a nice natural beauty. Her fingers pushed through Hyewon’s dark black hair, hoping Hyewon continues to sleep peacefully. “Minju… promise me you won’t let anyone to feed off your self worth, not even me” If Minju hadn’t given Hyewon her full attention, she wouldn’t have heard her. Hyewon's words coming out no more than a mere murmur, as she flickered her eyes open. 

Hyewon’s eyes stared at her with an engrossed gaze, her brown hues taking a mental picture of what she wouldn’t be able to see so easily. Many words dashed through her mind, but she could only think of three that would be best for her to say to Minju. She tried to open to say them, instead unconsciously. Her hand grasped Minju’s own and brought it closer to her with her lack of strength. That startled both of them. Hyewon’s eyes widened seeing their held hands, the gentle shaking from Hyewon’s tremor.

“Why do you sound like your saying goodbye?” Minju placed her other hand on the other side of Hyewon’s hand, to stop the tremble.

Hyewon gently explained the offer her parents gave to her, her gaze never leaving Minju’s. Her voice was low and cold, it was monotone, and her hand jerked slightly with every sentence she ended. She could feel Minju tighten her grasp around her hand every time it did. She smoothed her thumb over Hyewon’s knuckles. “I'm not going to go, I've already made my decision so please don't try to change my mind”

“They can give you a chance to play again, you can’t just give that up for me,” Minju had pleaded with her eyes. It sent a guilt stricken shiver down Hyewon’s spine

“So what are you saying?”

“I’ll go with you to Italy, it’s better than you staying here” Hyewon stared at Minju once again, longer this time before looking up, then down, then away. She retracted her hand away from Minju’s as she turned her head towards the window, away from Minju. She couldn’t face her. 

“I’ve also never been out of the country so it seems like fun” Minju added a playful comment in hopes to lighten the mood, but Hyewon found it far too ridiculous to laugh.

Hyewon pursed her lips, grimacing at Minju’s words “So your just going to leave everything for me?” Although she asked a question it came out more of an accusation. “You know that means giving up the concerto, leaving Yuri, leaving your parents” Her voice came in cold and low bursts as she emphasized each word  “There’s nothing for you there, I can’t promise to get you opportunities for playing”

Minju was relieved to see that Hyewon still had her attention on the window. She wasn’t sure if she could face Hyewon either. “That's not true, you'll be there and that's all I need” Minju meant it with confidence, but her tone portrayed it as the opposite. It came out slow and shaky.

At some time while Minju was spacing out as she examined the back of Hyewon’s head. The white blanket that surrounded Hyewon had been pulled up just below her chin. Hyewon’s breathing was quiet, and her hand continued to shake every so often. And each time it did, Minju would squeeze lightly in response. It was their way of communicating.

It was Minju’s way of letting Hyewon know that everything would be alright, and she’d always be here for her, no matter the situation they were in.

Minju found it easier to believe in that lie than to accept the truth; Hyewon didn’t want Minju to follow her.

 

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Chaewon stepped out of the concert hall, another concerto rehearsal, and Minju was a no show again. The professors warned Chaewon if Minju missed anymore, they would remove her from the concerto. Between the continuous nagging from Hyewon and Minju’s rebellious act, it gave her a headache. “You're going to be the reason I die young” she murmured under her breath when she say Minju cheerfully waving at her

 

 

“You know how stupid this is right?” Chaewon reminded as she ate another much needed piece of cake, Minju rolled her eyes as she playfully swiped away the worry.

“If I get kicked out, Hyewon will have to go” Minju said proudly, as she bragged about her ‘well thought out plan’ If she could show Hyewon that there was nothing holding to Korea she could go with her - Minju was all that held Hyewon to Seoul.

“And what if she gets you into another gig? What if she stays, and you just threw out all your chances? Did you ever think about that?” Although Chaewon acted as their mediator, she sided with Hyewon. She didn’t want Minju to throw her chance of being a concert pianist away. She was being blinded by love - something Chaewon knew far too well.

“For someone who’s supposed to be on my side you sound like your on Hyewon’s” Minju accused, scooting the plate of cake closer to her as she stole a bite.

“I told you I’m not on anyone’s side, I’m just reminding you that there is a difference between. Putting someone before yourself to help them and putting someone first at the expense of yourself. That’s not love, that’s pure stupidity - that’s not prioritising your relationship, it’s just denying your own reality” Chaewon bit her tongue, having her said her thoughts outloud with no filter. She stared at Minju, who showed no response. She opened to apologize but Minju shook her head with a thin smile - she definetely said too much.

 

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Hyewon lies in her private hospital room on her crisp but thinning sheets. Her eyes on the polystyrene tiles on the ceiling, she hears the door open and the sound of too familiar footsteps. She feels her chest tighten into a knot like a cramp and a quiet rage builds inside.

“I brought Chaewon along today, because she wouldn’t leave me all day” A cheerfulness in her voice as Minju rests her hand on Hyewons, feeling the coldness of her fingers underneath her touch. Hyewon pulls her hand away and turns head to Chaewon, a disappointed look on her face. Chaewon could only smile apologetically.

“So are you two missing another practice session?” Chaewon rubbed the back of her neck, avoiding all eye contact with Hyewon. The patient shifted her gaze onto the other Kim “You should take this seriously Minju, I gave them my personal recommendation” After Hyewon had told Minju about her parent’s decision, she’s been missing more and more practices.

“But your more important! I don’t care about the concerto or my career. I only need you, I don’t understand why your so mad about me caring!” Minju slammed the home cooked meal on the table. Ever since then everything’s been going downhill, their fights only increasing. Chaewon looked between the quarrelling couple, before slowly backing out of the room.

“That’s the problem, Minju you shouldn’t put others before you. If you don’t care about yourself, who will?” They remained speechless in each other’s company for several minutes before Minju spoke up, her voice sounding like nothing more than a mere whisper.

“You will” Minju looked intently at Hyewon

Hyewon swallowed thickly as they looked at each other. So instead of putting on a sour expression, Hyewon only kept a neutral one, like she always did. It was her best and only way to hide her pain. “Just don’t miss the next one…” Hyewon reached a hand out for Minju’s. Her hands were frailty and caution, shaking gently, slowly curling her fingers around Minju’s grasp. Her hands were cold, colder than normal.

Minju tried to hide her frown. Her eyes looked down at their held hands. Minju’s were thin and bony, and she could see the incisions made into her hands as they lined her blue curly veins. “I won’t, as long as you promise to get better” Minju looked at her and exhaled through her nose quietly.

Hyewon met her gaze and looked down at their held hands “I’m getting better don’t worry” She wanted to sound more hopeful than how it came out, but one couldn’t hold in all the pain they were feeling. So she settled for the neutral tone her voice came out in, because it was the best she could do now.

 

 

Minju didn’t stay long that day, especially after Hyewon kept pushing her to leave. She couldn’t handle the arguing anymore, so she did. Chaewon heaved a sigh as she sat up in her chair. She fiddled with her thumbs as she looked up at Hyewon, who was far too busy staring at the wall. “When did you smile like that? You look constipated, if Minju hasn’t noticed she’ll notice soon enough”

“I’m surprised she hasn’t noticed either” Hyewon let out a breathy laugh, times like this she remembers how innocent Minju is. It was easy to lie to her because she always believed it. She clenched her jaw, frustrated with herself.

Chaewon pursed her lips, getting up from her seat to gently pat Hyewon’s back, “It’s not an easy decision I know” Her mother told Chaewon everything, after all her mother can’t keep anything a secretly especially if it was Hyewon.

“Vallee d’oberman” Hyewon said in a hushed voice, a distant look on her face as she looked into nothingness “It’s by Liszt it’s her favourite”

She waited for an answer, but did not receive one. Unnerved, she spoke up again.

“She gets nervous before her performance, so make sure to sneak backstage to talk to her. Sit on the right side so she can see you when she plays. She scratches her head when she’s embarrassed, she picks her nails so remind to not do that, she likes it when you cuddle her to sleep-”

Chaewon cuts her off before she could list anymore “Why are you telling me this?” She watched Hyewon with a wary gaze, unsure of what she would say next.

“Because you love her” Chaewon drew in a breath, but found that she couldn’t say anything. So Hyewon continued, “I know you’ll take care of her for me, you’ll be there when I’m not”

“You can’t just let me win like this, I won’t let you” Chaewon pressed her lips into a thin line, she shook her head. Her features going from disappointed to unaccepting.

Hyewon’s trembling hands grabbed onto the collar of Chaewon’s shirt, holding her still in front of her “You have to because I won’t let her throw away everything she’s earned and go back into her shell. She’s too precious to keep herself stowed away” there was desperation in her voice as her hand’s trembled.

Chaewon clasped her hands around Hyewon’s, searching Hyewon’s eyes. It was full of fear, she’s never seen Hyewon so vulnerable. The smiles she shared to the world vanished “She won’t forgive you if you leave her, your her everything, her other half”

The small smile that played on Hyewon’s lips surprised the Kim, letting out a small sigh “I won’t let her drop everything for me when her life is just starting. I want to show her there is more to life than the music she plays, even if that means a life without me…” A shiver racked Chaewon, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand.

“So please let me keep that promise, it’s the only thing I can do,” Her voice returned into a hushed whisper, as she slowly let go of Chaewon’s shirt “So be the one she plays for… be the one she says I love you to. Show her there is more”

The air around Chaewon thickened, and suddenly she found it difficult to breathe. Hyewon looked down and twisted her lips to the side. Hyewon laid there glass-eyed, her tears welled up. The tears glinting in the white lights of the room. “Let the world hear the music you two create” Hyewon looked up at Chaewon with that same constipated smile, however it didn’t look as forced now.

Hyewon knew better, they couldn’t prioritise her and Minju’s relationship without sacrificing one for the other. Their love ran deeper than their will to play, and that was the sole reason why Hyewon had to leave. Hyewon stared at the bright pink flowers Minju had replaced in the vase, although they were new and fresh. The colour had never looked sadder - most think of blue or black when they thought of sadness. They were wrong. Hyewon found out every colour has its own muted sadness hidden in their fluorescent shades.

 

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Minju walked into a flower shop after school, Chaewon just a few steps behind her as Minju browsed through the aisle looking for a particular pink flower. With wary eyes, Chaewon had been gazing at the back of Minju’s head all day, wondering how to break the news. She curses Hyewon for making her be the one to break the news to the Kim. She swears Minju was more excited to see Hyewon more than usual. It must’ve been a pathetic joke the world played on her, as if she wasn’t suffering enough already.

She’s been following Minju all day, waiting. Waiting to tell her, yet she stops herself every time Minju smiles at her with those bright eyes of hers. Skipping along the sidewalk with the newly bought flowers in her hand. The folded piece of paper in her jacket was only an endless reminder. She held the poison to Minju’s warm eyes - there was only one inadmissible outcome… a heart break.

Minju’s laugh pierced through her train of thoughts, retelling a story about Hyewon at the playground they just passed. Chaewon couldn’t take it anymore “Minju wait” the Kim turned to her head, her undivided attention was on Chaewon “I don’t think we should visit Hyewon today” she hesitated for a moment, but finally spoke up.

Minju’s eyes squinted to the words, as she took a few steps toward her in shock “What?”

“She’s no longer there”

“No.” Minju stalked closer to Chaewon

“Please, Min she’s-” The slap was as a clap and stung her face, Chaewon reached a hand on her swelling cheek as she slowly turned her head back to Minju who had already started crying with her hand still extended out

“Don’t you dare…” Her voice was frail, her words interrupted by uncontrolled sobs, “She’s still there, she wouldn’t leave me! Tell me she’s there” Chaewon didn’t respond. She remained in the same position and only moved her hand away from her now red cheek. “She has to be there, right? Please, she has to be still be there” Minju’s eyes widened, her emotions now falling victim to a strange mix of fear and fury.

her teeth, Chaewon pulled Minju into a hug, and for a while they just stood there. Her hand her fingers through Minju’s hand. It took some time, but she finally answered. “She left” Chaewon could feel Minju’s arms hug her tighter. Minju kept silent. Not a word left her. Even as she hid her face in the crook of Chaewon’s neck, she only sniffed occasionally. Chaewon turned her head slightly, her cheek gently resting on Minju’s head.

Minju took in slow, deep breaths and closed her eyes, and her eyebrows knit together for a second. Her hand trembled as she dug her nails into Chaewon’s jacket. There were many words in this world, and it only took three to bring it down. Yet she could only thing of three, and they were neither in the present or future tense.

 

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It had been seven years since Hyewon left, and sure enough, playing didn’t come as easily as it used to. In those seven years, she spent three just trying to get back movement in her hands and the rest was a battle to even sit in front of a piano. In the beginning, Hyewon flat out refused to be in the same room of a piano. But with time, she surely made the effort to play, but each time she did she’d either freeze up in the middle of a piece or just stare at the keys for endless hours.

She wasn’t physically unable to play; she mentally could not. Pictures, worlds harmonised in a single chord she played. The colours that glowed and glistened as proudly as she moved along the keys. They were anything but monotone, so why did it look like they were? In her eyes, the colours differed from everyone else. Where they were bright and colourful, in hers it was faded and muted. Her individual emotions mirrored perfectly in monochromatic grey tones. She couldn’t bring herself to see the colours, so she stopped seeing them all together.

There are darknesses in life, and there are lights. She was one of those lights, the light of all lights. Now all Hyewon had was a box full of darkness. It took her years to understand that this too was a gift. One must dream a long time in order to act with nobility and dreaming is nursed in darkness. So she swoons into the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful. She plays the piano conjured in darkness, leaving the audience breathless for the next sound engulfed in the colours she chooses not to see.

Today was no different, she sat in front of the piano in complete darkness playing a simple tune; twinkle twinkle little star. Playing the nursery rhyme with her right hand, but her peaceful practice was interrupted by a flip of the light switch on. Bathing the entire room with its blinding white shades, Hyewon yelped, her hands shooting to her eyes to cover them.

“Are you a vampire? You look depressing sitting alone in the dark you know” Eunbi chuckled softly taking a seat next to Hyewon her back facing turned to the instrument.

Hyewon groaned as she wiped her eyes “I told you to give me a warning before you turn on the lights, I need time to adjust to the light”

Eunbi laughed, nudging Hyewon’s shoulder “That’s what you get for being a vampire” She got up from her seat, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket “Come on, we need to go. Or we’ll be late for our flight”

Eunbi watched as Hyewon swiftly wore her black fingerless guard gloves. They held another purpose, one that didn’t mean keeping her hands warm. They covered all the way up to her knuckles, just enough to hide her scars from her surgeries that allowed more movement in her hands. Hyewon stood up from her seat, patting her pockets, checking if she misplaced anything. “Okay, I’m good to go”

Eunbi extended her arm in front of Hyewon’s chest, lightly shaking her head. She picked up Hyewon’s phone and passport, still placed on top of the piano. Hyewon smiled childishly, thanking her friend as she retrieved her items. “What would you do without me?” Eunbi nagged as she pushed Hyewon out of the room.

“I’d probably become a vampire” Eunbi laughed at the joke, slightly shaking her head giving Hyewon a comforting pat on the shoulder. As much as Hyewon hated to admit it, she’d figuratively become a vampire - she’d be at home all day. The lights turned off, practicing the piano or stumbling around her apartment as she tried to navigate her small flat in the dark. She depended on Eunbi. The girl continually picks up after her and gets her to places in time, but mostly she keeps her company - Hyewon would compare Eunbi to a small candle, she both defied and defined her darkness.

 

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“Just a minute!” Chaewon shouted as she put down the sheets of music she recently received. She went towards the door as the doorbell rang for the second time. She saw someone she’d only seen in pictures pan into view as she opened the door with ease. She exerted a formal and feminine vibe, although she wears a simple pair of blue jeans and a white cardigan over a white shirt.

“Are you Kim Chaewon?” She asked politely, with waiting eyes. Chaewon nodded her eyes and say a mellow smile grow on the visitor’s face.

“You must be Eunbi” The visitor nodded her head and Chaewon moved away from the door, making way for her to enter the apartment. She looked up and down the hallway, seeing if she had brought someone along, but it seemed she came alone. “Hyewon mentioned you were coming over. Is she arriving later?”

Eunbi followed Chaewon into the apartment “No, she only sent me. Is Minju here too?” she asked with ease, no hesitation on her words.

“Yeah, she’s just in the study” Just as they turned the corner, Minju stood at the end of the couch with her morning coffee in her hand. “Oh Minju this us, Eunbi…” Chaewon paused on her words, staring at Eunbi looking for the word to describe their relationship.

“I’m a friend from Europe” Eunbi finished Chaewon’s sentence, taking a seat on a love seat across from the couch, waiting for the other two to take a seat. “I’m actually not planning to stay long I just wanted to drop these off” She placed two tickets on the coffee table. The two Kim’s stared at the card stock paper before looking back up at her. “The pianist is a close friend of mine, and it’ll be their first concert in Seoul”

Minju reached for the pair of tickets, curious of the pianist, but before she could Chaewon snatched the tickets. Hiding the name as she tucked the tickets under her hand “We’ll be there” Minju stared at her with a perplexed look “Who doesn’t want free tickets to a concert?” She bit down on her bottom lip trying to suppress a smile - Hyewon was clever and witty this she knew, and her repertoire showed it. (Only one song was listed, it was a piece by Liszt)

Eunbi saw Minju open to stay something, but she remained speechless, a mischievous grin on her lips “Minju I think you’ll find it interesting, the pianist is known for their unique playing style”

“What does that mean?” It was a common compliment given to pianists, but the Eunbi’s tone told Minju this was no half hearted compliment.

“They paint the most realistic scenes with covered eyes” Minju stared at Eunbi, a familiar pain pierced her chest. Maybe it was the genuine look in Eunbi’s eyes that reminded her of the pain, or was it being a phrase she hadn’t heard in a while. Maybe it was both. She inhaled frailty at the familiarity of this pain.

 

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“So who do you think this pianist is?” Minju asked, looking down at the tickets. They were given the tickets only two days ago, but they never found out the name. There was no name on the ticket either except for the pianist repertoire, which surprisingly was only one song.

Chaewon shrugged her shoulders, doing her best to act normal. The cold air conditioning greeted them as they walked through the hall’s two sliding doors. There were many people in the lobby, chattering and whispering among themselves. Chaewon tugged at Minju’s hand as she pointed at Eunbi, as the latter walked over to them.

They exchanged a few greetings before the audience was asked to enter the auditorium, Eunbi led the two Kim’s to their seats before she left. They were seated only a few rows away from the stage on the right side. Minju looked around the auditorium. It had several floors, the seats perfectly organised to circle the stage. It was grand and spacious, the same dusty and dry atmosphere that was common in most auditoriums. In each seat they placed a pamphlet with a small card. Minju quickly skimmed over the pamphlet as it didn’t retain anymore information than the ticket she was given.

She was curious about why there was such a lack of information on this pianist, although from passing other people this pianist was very much known to the music world. As they talked with much praise about said pianist. She flipped over the card with interest as she read the lettering:

Colour [noun]

the appearance of an object that it has as a result of the way in which it reflects light

The colours of a poem and picture evokes the recipient’s heart, but a pianist trane it into a musical experience as such music and the subject carries equal weight

Tell me, what do you see when you play?

The familiar pain pierced through Minju’s chest once against at the familiarity of those words. She glanced over at Chaewon’s card, but it had nothing more than the definition of the word colour. So why was hers different?

 

 

Hyewon hide behind the curtain, watching the audience slowly file into the auditorium but she only had her eyes on one person. She smiles longingly, seeing them read over the cardstock, wondering if she remembers those words. The sound of footsteps behind her makes her turn to the owner. She exchanged a smile with Eunbi.

“It’s her, isn’t it?” Hyewon replies with a hum as Eunbi gave her the fitted and soft black fabric. It was small, no longer or wider than her arm. Hyewon held the cloth up to her eyes, meeting the two ends behind her head to tie it securely.

“I really do miss what we almost had” Hyewon’s tone was monotonous, but Eunbi didn’t fail to detect the sorrow that lined each word. She understood where Hyewon was coming from and didn’t even think of holding her indifferent tone against her.

“Your like the rest of us hopeless romantics, we survive, we endure and we try again,” A light-hearted laugh bubbled out from deep within Hyewon’s chest, Eunbi couldn’t help but laugh along. “I look forward to the colours you play today” Her tone warm, as she removed Hyewon’s gloves. Placing them in her pocket, waiting for Hyewon to squeeze her hand - it was a routine by now, she’d wait for Hyewon’s signal and when she was ready, she’d guide her to the piano. And almost in time, she felt Hyewon squeeze her hand, and they stepped onto the stage.

 

 

Minju watched the unknown pianist walk onto the stage with Eunbi guiding her towards the piano. She emitted a unique aura, one filled with composure and elegance. Maybe it was the black cloth that kept her eyes hidden from the audience that gave her this confidence. There was a thick silence as the pianist took her seat in front of the piano. Her hands stilled above the keys, and within a second she drew out a sombre tone through the syncopation and descending motion of the first three notes.

It was Liszt Vailee d’Obermann

In those few seconds Minju was surrounded by a familiar garden of flowers, the bright pink and purple hues of the flowers. The soft breeze that carried the refreshing and delicate scent of spring. Then there it was, the grand black glossy piano in the centre, the same pianist all those years ago - it was almost the same to when they first met. “Hyewon?” she asked in a hushed whisper. She knew who it was only one could create such a scene with their playing, but she still feared to hear another voice.

“It’s been a while since I heard that” Hyewon kept her head straight, looking forward into nothingness although the blindfold covered her eyes.

“Since you heard your name?” Minju walked towards the piano, stopping at the end, standing just opposite of Hyewon.

“No, since I heard you say my name,” Hyewon continued with a neutral tone, still looking forward facing Minju, although she didn’t know the girl stood across from her. Her left hand descended the scale hinting at private anguish, while the rests on the strong beat in the right hand portrayed uncertainty and hesitance. She played it perfectly, just as Liszt had composed the piece. The phrase and her emotions and the scene harmonised in a single movement. “The story actually has an ending”

Minju on her teeth, surprised that Hyewon still remembers - she wasn’t the only one holding onto their memories. “It’s a French story that many forgot,” Minju could see Hyewon’s growth in her playing. Her hand moves instinctively to the right spot, building a new scene, one she hadn’t seen before. “The man spent 10 years searching the depths of his innermost self, hoping to overcome his despair and finding a place for himself in the world, but like his life he dies unheard. Like his voiceless thoughts they remain hidden forever”

Minju watched intently as Hyewon continued to build to their world, the sun warm on her skin as her hair flowed in the flowery wind. In these fantastical worlds, she sees the reflections of Hyewon’s mind, the way she thinks, but there is something else here too. Minju didn’t know what, perhaps she was imagining it, but in this world she played she felt the closest to Hyewon it always gave her a peace and mental calmness she couldn’t find anywhere else. Why do the sounds you make echo so beautifully in my head and in my heart? Even now I feel like I’m going to cry

“Minju” Hyewon calls out softly, dropping her neutral tone that hid her emotions. Minju responded with a soft hum, although she wanted to say more, but she couldn’t erase this aging gap between them, replaced by the insides of the grand piano that stood in the middle. “What colours do you see right now?” Minju’s breath hitched at the question, forgotten emotions flowed through her - just like the melody flows plaintively in the top voice over a quiet background of chords in the lower register. Hyewon manipulated her as if she were a note in the piece.

Minju felt the urge to say every unsaid thought. Was it their colours? Hyewon allowed them to glow and fade, hue after hue; bright golden sunrise, the indigo and mauve flowers, the grey fringed fleece of clouds. “I see all the gorgeous colours you play” It took her some time to reply, but when she did, she saw that same genuine smile on Hyewon’s lips for the first time and it still gave her that tender, secure feeling.

All of Hyewon’s answers and the happiness she seeks was in front of her. They truly loved each other, and maybe they might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what fairytales say. We easily forgive children afraid of the dark, however the greatest tragedy is when an adult is afraid of the light. And so no one in a century will suffer as greatly as Hyewon will.

A dark tone and gradual elongation of notes values. No, it was not their colours; it was her poise and balance at the moment. Her love for the rhythmic rise and fall of notes that as the audience we associate it with colour waiting breathlessly on the edge of our seats for the next note. In reality, Hyewon drew less pleasure from the reflection of the glowing sensible world she creates with her symphonies through many colours and richly stored notes. But of the inner world of individual emotions she perfectly mirrored in the lucid supple periodic silence. She waited longer than usual before proceeding with the closing measures.

Hyewon’s voiceless thoughts sheathing its black and ivory keys under its cover. She delivered the theatrical feeling Liszt had envision for the last measure, pronouncing the speech-like quality of the transformation bringing the piece to an end. She hangs her head low, lifting her hands off the keys as her thoughts die with the ringing notes slowly replaced by silence.

“Thank you for making my world colourful” She smiled one last time, knowing Minju was in front of her. It sparked the same burning warmth in Minju’s chest, she’d never see it again - a hollow space that can never be filled.

 

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