“Thank you for everything Yong. I know this is sudden and I know you’re surprised to see this letter. I’m a coward because I can’t just tell you this directly because I’m afraid that I might not be strong enough to let you go. I’ll always love you Yong. But I know you weren’t mine to lose. I hope Eric will always make you happy. I love you Kim Yongsun.”

Yongsun teared up while reading her best friend's letter that she left on the kitchen table probably this morning. Yongsun just came home from work only to find out her shared apartment is empty and Byul is gone. She didn’t know where she went but Yongsun instantly rushed back out to her car wanting to find her best friend. She didn’t know why Byul was acting this way, because just yesterday they were together in the apartment and she was telling the younger girl that Eric had proposed to her. 

At that moment, Yongsun didn’t notice the surprised look Byul made while trying to put on a fake smile and congratulate the older girl. After that Byul told Yongsun to change into warm clothes because Byul wanted to go celebrate with her. 

And that night, together they went to the mountainside to just enjoy the view and spend one last time together. Yongsun kept talking about how happy she was that Eric finally proposed and she was talking about how she and Eric are gonna have a beautiful family soon.  What Yongsun didn’t notice is the look of resignation and hurt in Byul that can be seen all across her face as the older girl kept talking about her future plan with Eric while they’re climbing to the peak of the mountain. 

Byul realizes right then and there that she will never have Kim Yongsun. She will never be able to have Kim Yongsun love like Eric does. She will never be able to wake up to the beautiful face of Kim Yongsun every morning like she wanted it to be. She will never be able to have a family together with Kim Yongsun and grow old together with the only girl that she loves.

After they reached the peak, Byul turned to look at the older girl while Yongsun was enjoying the night sky. She was memorizing her face. She wanted to remember her for the rest of her life. After a while, Byul finally broke the silence.

“Congratulations unnie. I’m really happy for you.” Byul said while trying to hold back her tears.

“Thanks Byul. Thank you because all this time You always make me feel safe, you always take care of me and you always love me like I’m your real sister. I’m really thankful for that. But now you don’t have to do that anymore. Because I have Eric now. And you finally can go on and look for a girlfriend now.” Said Yongsun while smirking. 

“Nahh.. I’m good. My heart already belongs to someone and I don’t think I can take it back.” Byul said mindlessly while enjoying the view of the night city.

“Oh really? Who is she? Why did you never tell me??” Ask Yongsun while hitting Byul lightly on her shoulder.

It's you, Yong. Byul taught to herself. “She’s someone I’m close with.. you know her too.. but sadly I don’t think she loves me back.” Byul said. She didn’t have the courage to tell Yongsun that it was her. She was afraid. Afraid to face the reality that Yongsun will never love her. And she’s also afraid that Yongsun might decide to not be friends with her again if she confesses her true feelings.

“Ohh.. really?? Who??” Yongsun asked her while thinking of a possible person that can fit the picture. 

“You know her.. but I’m not telling you who it is though.. you’ll know that tomorrow.” Byul said while trying to hide the sadness in her tone.

“But how are you so sure that she doesn’t love you back? Have you asked her?” Ask Yongsun.

“Because she already has someone else that she loves and they love each other so much that I’ll just hurt her if I confess my love to her… so I’ll just let her go and live on my own.” Said Byul with sadness in her tone. 

“Ohh.. I’m sorry Byul.. but whoever she is, I know that she doesn’t know what she’s missing. Because I know that you’re the most loving, caring, kindhearted person I ever know that it's just impossible to not love you.” Yongsun said, trying to cheer her friend up.

“Do you love me unnie?” Byul asked mindlessly. “Of course I do. You’re like a sister to me and I love you Byul-ah.” Yongsun said.

Like a sister. She loves me just as a sister. Byul taught. “Thank you unnie.” Byul said smiling at her. “I hope that you’ll have a wonderful and happy life with Eric.” 

Byul used to always prioritize Yongsun in everything. Byul is even willing to sacrifice her life for Yongsun if you ask her. But even then, Byul knows that she will never have Yongsun. That’s why she decided to just leave her life and be on her way. 

The next day, after Yongsun went to work. Byul packed all her things to move out of the apartment. She put down her letter on the kitchen table and walked out to the door. Taking one last glance at the apartment she has shared with the older girl for the past 3 years, memory started flooding back in. The first time they moved into the apartment. That time when Yongsun got so drunk after going out with her friends that she puked all over the couch. That time, Yongsun almost burned their kitchen down after forgetting to turn off the stove while heating up some leftover ttoekbokki. So many memories coming back on Byul like a freight train make her cry again. Taking one last final glance at the apartment, Byul left with all her happy memories still in the apartment. 

Yongsun didn’t know where to look for Byul. She’s been searching around the block but no sign of her. She had called Byul while searching for her around the block but Byul’s not answering her call. Then she called her friends asking Byul whereabouts but no one knew. She even called Byul’s parents to ask if maybe Byul had come back to her hometown, but in the end no one knows where she is.

At her last attempt, Yongsun called her again hoping the younger girl will answer and she did.

“Hello?”

“Oh my God, Byul-ah… thank God you picked up. Where are you?? Why did you leave the apartment?? I’ll pick you up now, tell me where you are.” Yongsun said desperately.

“Don’t do that unnie. I’m leaving for a reason. And I don’t want to come back.” Byul said.

“Why are you like this huh? Why don’t you tell me about how you feel, Byul-ah?” Yongsun asked, her voice shaking and tears started b up in her eyes.

“Don’t cry unnie.. I just want you to be happy. I’m sorry I’m not the one that can bring you happiness. But I’m happy Eric can give you that.” Byul said. “Promise me that you’ll always be happy unnie. Thank you for letting me love you all this time. I’m sorry I can’t be your source of happiness. I hope we’ll meet again someday.”

“Byul-ah.. don’t do this please.. please come back..” Yongsun said through her tears.

“I’m sorry unnie.. but I can’t do that. You know I love you right. And this is also another way of me loving you unnie. I’ll let you go now. I’ll always love you unnie. Don’t forget about me.” Byul said for the last time then she hung up the phone. 

Byul knows she’s a selfish person. She chose to just leave the older girl just like that. But she also knows that Yongsun will move on. She has Eric that she loves. She has Eric that can give her happiness and later on they’ll become a family and live happily. 

Hyejin, seeing the older girl looking miserably at her couch after the call, joins her and gives her a hug to calm the older girl down. “Why do you do that if you can’t let her go unnie? Why don’t you tell Yongsun unnie about how you feel?” Ask Hyejin while still comforting her.

“I have to Hyejin-ah.. I had to let her go so that she can be happy even now she might be a little sad. But I know she’ll be happy with Eric” Byul said through her tears. “Thank you for keeping me here.”

“No problem unnie. But I’m curious.. Why do you give up now? After all you’ve been through.. you always prioritize Yongsun unnie over everything.. I still remember how many times you canceled our plan just because Yongsun unnie had something to do.. so why give up now??” Ask Hyejin.

“Cause she wasn’t mine to lose.. and she will never be.”