Beads of sweat glistened on Kang Seungyoon’s brow as the hot summer sun beat relentlessly on his back. His complexion showed his exhaustion, the pale skin on his face and ears tinged a rosy hue. He wasn’t by any means out of shape but it has been quite a while since he last went for a run. His mismatched running shoes slap furiously against the hot pavement, propelling him forward and well into his next mile.

He couldn’t get him, Kim Jinwoo, out of his mind. Not even if he tried. It had been that way since the first time he laid eyes on him.

Seungyoon stopped in his tracks, hands falling to his knees as he bent forward and filled his lungs with much needed air.

Just how many years has he felt this way about him?

As if in response, the sun glared through clouds of white as he straightened his back and an occasional breeze ruffled his sweat dampened locks.

“What should I do?” he muttered under his breath, “I don't want anyone else but you.”

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back to feel the warmth of the sun on his face - his thoughts instantly wandered back to him again, as usual.

Those brown doe eyes of his. Seriously.

Calling the fondness Seungyoon has for him as a ‘crush’ is an extreme understatement. 

“Kim Jinwoo, you terrible good looking idiot!! Can't you see that I like you so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so much?!!”

He couldn't help but erupt in laughter after he’d said that, earning him a wary glance from a startled female passer-by walking a tan-colored chihuahua on a leash.

He just can’t seem to win when it comes to Kim Jinwoo.

Seungyoon nods awkwardly to acknowledge her, his face heating up. He didn't realize he had an audience, even if only one. She stared at him for a few seconds then suddenly picked up the dog and started running away.

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.

.

“Oh. You're back earlier than I thought.”

The smell of toast, coffee, and bacon greets him as he steps inside the humble abode he shared with his longtime friend, Lee Seunghoon.

“I’m cooking eggs after this. How do you want yours?”

Seungyoon slips out of his running shoes, returning them to the shoe cupboard by the front door. The TV is on and there is something on the news about the stock market.

“Is sunny side-up okay or do you want them scrambled?”

He steps into the kitchen, glancing at the greased pan sitting on the stove. Beside it was a plate of just fried bacon on top of a folded paper towel.

“Can you please respond when I talk to you?”

There’s a hint of annoyance at the end of Seunghoon’s tone and Seungyoon knew that it's best he did not ignore it.

“I’m not hungry, hyung.”

The stove is turned off and its blue flames are snuffed out.

“I didn’t ask if you are.”

The fridge door is opened and after some rummaging it is closed again.

“Sit down, Seungyoon-ah. You’re to eat everything I put on your plate.”

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.

The start of the meal was awkward with only one of them actively partaking. Metal utensils lightly scrape against dollar-store bought ceramic as bacon, eggs, and toast are sliced together before disappearing into one’s gaping mouth. Seungyoon watches the glass of juice in front of him as it ripples with every little vibration.

“Eat.”

The command was followed with the other diner’s foot intentionally colliding with his from under the table, literally prodding Seungyoon to pick up his fork.

“Such a tyrant.” He mutters under his breath as his fork stabs a well-cooked piece of bacon.

The diner across him smirks behind the rim of his coffee mug knowing fully well that this is a battle that he has won.

“Did you talk to Jinwoo-hyung again about it?”

Seungyoon shakes his head slightly, a piece of bacon disappears into his mouth.

“He’s not getting any younger and we aren’t either.” Seunghoon continued, he grabbed a piece of toast and placed it on Seungyoon's plate. “It's not surprising that his parents are trying to convince him to settle down already.”

It was a hard pill to swallow. He wants to be the one beside Jinwoo in a world that tells him he shouldn't and it's as simple and complicated as that.

“Yoon-ah, what do you think about going back to Busan?”

Seungyoon popped the yolk of the egg with his fork and it created a yellow river on his plate.

“It’s about time that you start thinking about yourself and your future. Your mom is living by herself there. Aren’t you worried?”

Of course, he is. She’s the only family he has left. At the same time, he thinks about the conversation that they had many years ago, just before he moved to Seoul. She let him go and encouraged him to follow his dream and even to this day, she remains unceasing.

“When Jinwoo-hyung gets married…” Seunghoon’s tone got lower. “That’s it. Game over.”

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.

“Hey, are you really sure about this?”

Song Mino eyes the extremely good looking young man in front of him who was busying himself with some paint brushes. He was forcefully trying to cram them all into one container.

“Would I be here helping you pack up this place if I wasn’t?”

His response makes Mino’s lips instantly curve into a grin.

“Just making sure. I don’t want to cause any trouble for my favorite, hyung.”

By now the young man has moved on to chucking used paint tubes into a box. 

“The room you're moving into isn't as big as this one but it has a small balcony with a nice view of the city since my place is up a hill.”

The young man paused, his gaze falling to the lone window of the soon to be vacant room.

Over the past year, Mino's artwork has changed drastically. The canvases laying around in the very room they are in are almost devoid of color and many remain unfinished. The subject in each one turned grayer and darker as his inspiration dried up until one day he picked up his brush and nothing came at all.

Mino felt restless about it. He recalled the times when he tried to will himself to paint until daylight but his canvas remained almost empty, as if reflecting his own emotional state.

“Mino-ya…” the young man gently wrapped his fingers around Mino's wrist, stopping his train of thought, “...even if you work hard until you go crazy, there will still be someone out there that will tell you that your work is crap.”

Mino’s eyes fell on a canvas leaning against the wall. There was a splash of bold and bright red in its center and nothing else.

“But your vision and your work isn’t about pleasing them. It’s about you conveying to others what you think, what you feel, and how you see the world.”

Red - he read somewhere, is the color of fire and blood. Mino got up that morning thinking about painting something new so he picked out the biggest canvas he had. But his motivation left him just as he started and now the canvas seemed to stare back at him, holding no heat, like a carcass - long since dying.

“You’re only human. You’ll get tired, you’ll get frustrated, and you’ll get angry. But being human also means that you have a heart that’s built to survive.”

A sunset suddenly came to Mino’s mind. In all shades of red.

The sun will be painted in shining gold, brilliant like a crown that seems to sit atop the brightest of flames.

“So, take a rest and hang in there a little longer and if you need someone…” Mino's eyes met his, slightly cautious. “...I’ll be there.”

A light bubbling emotion makes his chest swell. Mino had to bite down on his lip that seemed to just want to stretch until they reached the corner of his eyes.

“ You're too good to me. What would you do if I fall in love with you? Will you take responsibility, Jinwoo-hyung?”

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.

.

The bar was packed with every inch of it crammed with people and the haze of thick cigarette smoke mixed with the tang of alcohol hung in the air. Jinwoo watched as Mino took another shot, the cigarette he was smoking earlier has burned out on its own and is now left forgotten on the bar counter.

“Is it always this busy?”

The music was so loud that it drowned his voice out. Jinwoo moves closer to Mino and repeats his question, speaking much louder this time.

“Nah! This is still pretty tame!” Mino shouts back, grabbing another shot of vodka and pushing it towards Jinwoo’s chest.

He takes the drink from Mino's hand. He could drink well but tonight he wanted to keep a clear head so he placed it down on the counter and motioned for the bartender to take it away.

“What a waste. You don't like it?” Mino slaps the counter then leans forward and yells in his ear. “I want to drink some whiskey next. Join me, yeah?!”

Jinwoo sighed while looking at his reddening face.

The bartender came over and poured them each a generous serving. Mino takes out a crumpled packet of cigarettes under his pocket, places his last cigarette between his lips and lights it. The fog the cigarette created in front of his face gave him an almost mysterious vibe.

“Got someone on your mind?” Mino looked at him with a knowing smile.

Jinwoo didn’t answer. The hardest addiction to overcome are people. Turning away from Mino, he gave the amber liquid in his glass a good swirl.

“Does the moon stand a chance against the sun?”

Mino cupped his ear, “The what?”

Raising the shot glass to his lips, Jinwoo emptied it in one swig and felt a light burn at the back of his throat as it went down.

Glancing at Mino from the corner of his eyes, Jinwoo got off the bar stool. “I need to make a call.”

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.

It was apparent that the two of them ended up somewhere seedy. The neon sign above him flickers garishly and the muffled bass from the hole in the wall that he just came out of could be heard outside.

Jinwoo started walking towards the nearest alley, away from the people queued outside the bar. It got darker as he walked further, seedy looking characters loomed in the shadows, their eyes following his every move.

When he finally reached the alley, he took his phone out of his pocket. For a moment, Jinwoo hesitated. Not quite sure about what he should say once he gets the person he intends to talk to on the phone. He tried to keep busy the past few days trying to distract himself and not think about that person but it didn't really work.

He presses the device into his ear, growing more nervous with each ring. Jinwoo almost thought that he wouldn't pick up and that he would be redirected to his voicemail again when he heard a light click and some muffled background noise.

“Seungyoonie, it's me.”

Jinwoo bites into his bottom lip. Curious and somewhat nervous about how Seungyoon will respond but he doesn't.

“I haven't seen you in a while. How are you doing these days?”

It's been almost two weeks. The longest Jinwoo has gone without seeing him since five years ago when Seungyoon also moved to Seoul.

“Don't feel like talking? I guess you're still mad at me.” The alley he’s in seemed unscrupulous and downright dirty. Jinwoo lowered his gaze, kicking away a wayward plastic wrapper on the ground that he couldn't identify.

“I thought about texting you, but the words wouldn't come. I have so much I want to tell you but I don't know how to put them to words.” He smiled tightly and pressed on. “It's different when you're around, you always seem to know what I want to say, as if you're reading my mind.”

The streetlight in the alley flickers and Jinwoo straightens his back against the wall. He shouldn't keep his guard down in such a place even for a second.

“I'm out somewhere with a friend.” he said tentatively, “But I can't help but think about you.” 

Jinwoo wasn't sure about how much he should say but Seungyoon wasn't talking to him at all and what he wanted more than anything is to have him back in his life as usual.

“The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you talk.”

Jinwoo clenched the device in his hand even tighter.

“I admit it.”

Taking a deep breath of the night's stifling warm air, he let the words go.

“I miss you.”

Having told Seungyoon something that he was always very careful not to show. Jinwoo wonders briefly about Seungyoon’s reaction on the other line. After all, it's only the dark that knows a side of him that no one will ever learn about.

“I'm not going to keep you on the phone much longer.” Jinwoo sighed, disappointed that he didn't even get to hear Seungyoon’s voice. “Please call me when you're not mad at me anymore. I’ll wait.”

 

There was an abrupt click and the line disconnected.  A faint breeze stirred the trees that lined the sidewalk that was bathed with artificial light.

He stared at Seungyoon’s name and number on his phone.

 

Tonight Jinwoo will keep a little fire burning.

However small. However hidden.

And it will keep him up all night.

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.

It was the second time that night that Seunghoon noticed Seungyoon's phone on the coffee table ringing. The first time it happened, Seunghoon checked the caller ID then declined the call and had it redirect to voicemail but the caller did not leave a message. Now that it's ringing again, he stared at the caller ID, a strained expression on his face.

“Phone…” Seungyoon whispered from the couch where he had been laying on since he came back after a long work day. His eyes are so heavy with sleep that he could barely keep them open.

Seunghoon silences the phone and shushes him back to dreamland, feeling relieved when Seungyoon burrows deeper into the blanket that he laid over him. When he glanced over at the phone again, it showed that the caller had not given up and so the phone continued to ring despite being muted.

He didn’t know what exactly came over him and prompted him to do it. Maybe it was his curiosity getting the best of him or maybe it was something more.

“Seungyoon-ah, it's me.” Jinwoo’s voice was low but steady.

Seunghoon leaves the living room with Seungyoon’s phone pressed against his ear and walks out to the balcony.

“I haven't seen you in a while. How are you doing these days?”

It's probably been almost two weeks. Maybe the longest Seungyoon has gone without seeing Jinwoo since he moved to Seoul.

“Don't feel like talking? I guess you're still mad at me.”

Seungyoon isn’t. He wasn’t even mad at Jinwoo to begin with but Seunghoon is not going to tell him that.

“I thought about texting you, but the words wouldn't come. I have so much I want to tell you but I don't know how to put them to words.”

A lamp post flickers in front of him. It was surrounded by moths that flew with wings drunk with uncertainty.

“It's different when you're around, you always seemed to know what I wanted to say, as if you're reading my mind.”

Leaning over the railing, Seunghoon stares at the moon. He is waist deep in bad habits, falling down rabbit hole after rabbit hole and this happens to be one of them.

“I'm out somewhere with a friend. But I can't help but think about you.”

A lump forms in Seunghoon’s throat, there's an aching for something that isn't there.

“The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you talk.”

 A longing for something that has long been hollowed out from his body.

“I admit it. I miss you."

It still hurts after all.

“I'm not going to keep you on the phone much longer.”

Nothing soft ever goes unbruised and him being more honest means bleeding in front of him.

“Please call me when you're not mad at me anymore. I’ll wait.”

Seunghoon ended the call. He promptly types in the password to Seungyoon’s phone, Jinwoo's birthdate. He checks the call history and without hesitation he deletes the last two calls that the device recorded.

 

It made him feel just like a villain in a drama series and when Seunghoon closed his eyes, he imagined sea water lapping at his chest. He swam further out, where it is deep, where he can drown. Maybe that will erase tonight's memory or maybe something unholy lurking on those depths can swallow him whole and never bring him back. 

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[PAST ARC / “But I don't want to be just friends.” ]

 

The wind knots Seungyoon's hair while the warm glow of the setting sun clings to Jinwoo's face making him falter.

“I don't want to be just friends.”

They floated on the edge of a sunny day, Jinwoo’s peach colored hair shimmering under the sun, their bare feet on the sand as waves the shore.

The serene expression on Jinwoo’s face changed and after some time he finally spoke, “I understand.”

Jinwoo took a step towards him and lightly ruffled his hair. “From now on, I’ll treat you as if you're my very own younger brother.”

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.

“I can't! That is just so funny! Jinwoo really told you that?!” Seunghoon slung an arm around him. The older boy was still wheezing after having laughed so much that he almost had tears in his eyes. “Give it up, Yoon! You already know you don't have a chance.”

“Go away.” Seungyoon replied primly. He felt stuffy and he knew that it wasn’t just from the tight uniform he wore.

He put his earphones on, set on listening to some music and ignoring Seunghoon the rest of the walk home from school but the other lad had other plans. He yanked the earphones out of Seungyoon's ears for another round of teasing.

“How much longer are you planning to drag this on?” the older boy quipped, “You were just joking around anyway. Nothing serious.”

Seungyoon stopped in his tracks. He pushed the older boy off him and gave him a dark look.

“Oh. What's with that face?”

“Not like you would know.”

“Know what?”

Of course, Seunghoon wouldn't know. It's not like Seungyoon even fully understood what he was feeling either so how could he possibly begin to even describe it to someone else?

“Forget it.” he pushed the other boy aside “Just leave me alone.”

“You're being weird, Seungyoon-ah.” Seunghoon said following behind him with annoying superiority. “If you keep this up, everyone's going to think that you're gay or something.”

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[PRESENT DAY]

 

He couldn't get the water to stay at a temperature that was just right. Seungyoon hisses softly as the water raining down his body gets too hot but it adjusts to the heat quickly and he soon begins to enjoy the tingling sensation the water brings.

He takes a deep breath before reaching over for a washcloth. After lathering it up with some soap, he starts to scrub away the dirt and grime on his skin. He scrubbed until every part of his skin was red and raw but no matter how much or how hard he scrubbed, there was still something clinging to his skin that refused to come off.

Seungyoon watches the water under him run down the drain. His hand finding its way between his legs, gripping and the flesh there. He balances himself against the wall with one arm. Under the running water, his face scrunches in concentration and in ecstasy.

He imagines Jinwoo there with him, teasing him ever so slowly, fueling his hardness and making him slowly rock his hips. He adds speed to his hand, his breathing growing labored as Jinwoo completely took over his thoughts, taking him in completely. Seungyoon doubled his pace in urgency, imagining that it was Jinwoo’s body he was ravishing, skin slapping against skin. He clenched his eyes shut as he got closer to the peak of his release.

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[PAST ARC / “Can you close your eyes?” ]

 

It was the last night Jinwoo was spending in this town. Come morning, he will walk out of the front door of this very house and not come back for a long time.

He could have chosen to stay. There is a decent college nearby where many of his peers will be attending but Jinwoo has his own set of reasons for wanting to be anywhere but here.

Unable to fall asleep, Jinwoo casts his blanket aside and swings his legs off the bed. It wouldn't hurt to go for a little walk outside, he figured, not caring about how deep the night is.

The sky above was dark and cloudy, a bit of bummer since he was hoping to see some stars tonight. He started to wander not far from his own home. The cool night air felt pleasant against his skin and he found it to be calming.

When Jinwoo reached the corner of his block, a silhouette in the dark caught his attention. He stayed still in his spot, trying to get a better look as it got closer and closer to him until he finally recognized it.

Kang Seungyoon.

“Just what is this kid doing here?” Jinwoo muttered as he raised his hand and waved, making sure that he got his attention. 

“What are you doing?” He asks Seungyoon before he could even reach him. “It's late. Go home!”

Seungyoon only sniggered, giving him a look that he couldn't decipher.

“I could ask you the same thing, hyung.”

Cheeky Brat. Jinwoo couldn't help but reach out and pinch the other boy's cheeks with both hands.

“Aren’t you too close?”

Jinwoo chuckled softly, “And so?”

Seungyoon didn't retaliate. Instead, he s an arm around Jinwoo’s waist and pulled him even closer.

“Ya!” Jinwoo couldn't help but exclaim, heat rising to his cheeks. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

“I’m just trying to commit everything about you to memory.” a light breeze whipped the hair around Seungyoon’s face as he said it, “Like the way you fit inside my arms so perfectly.”

There was something about the way that Seungyoon said it that made Jinwoo wonder if the younger one is fooling around with him and sweet talking him as usual or if he is being serious with him right now. They stood there gazing at each other silently and the longer it went on, the stranger he felt and the more self-conscious he became.

It wasn't a bad feeling. Jinwoo understood that much. But somewhere in the back of his mind, was a little voice that kept telling him that being with Seungyoon like this isn't right. He was so much younger than him and they're both boys too, strange rumors will surely fly. He awkwardly let go of the other boy's cheeks, not quite sure about what to do or where to rest his hands after.

“Can you close your eyes?” Seungyoon leaned slightly, his warm breath and full lips lightly grazing the tip of his ear as he spoke, making Jinwoo’s heart race when it shouldn’t. “Please, hyung.”

Seungyoon had never looked at him this way before. At least, not in this proximity but something about being this close to him sent a light shock to unnamed nerves running through Jinwoo’s veins. Gone was the adorable boyish look that Seungyoon wore so well and that made Jinwoo want to take a step back, if not for the arms around him that prevented him from doing so.

Why is it that whenever it comes to you, my heart feels one thing but my mind says another?

The more Jinwoo thinks, the harder it gets. He couldn't even remember the last time he fell asleep without Seungyoon being the last thing on his mind.

Jinwoo nodded at him slowly and Seungyoon moved in closer, eyes never leaving his face even once.

Just for tonight, maybe Seungyoon will want him in all the terrible messed-up ways he's wanted him but could never ever say nor reveal

And with that, Jinwoo took a chance and closed his eyes.

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.

.

Kang Seungyoon put the back of his hand over his cheek where it stung. Between them, a stray cat struts haughtily after jumping between them and scratching his face.

He turns to look at Jinwoo. Some day, he will try again, when the timing is right.

“Let's go.”

Seungyoon stares at him, a little harder this time, wondering about what he's thinking about in that pretty head of his.

Jinwoo points to his own cheek and motions for him to follow. Seungyoon starts to walk behind him slowly, keeping his distance. He didn't want to make things even more awkward between them.

When they reached Jinwoo’s house, the older boy puts a finger over his lips and motions for him to be quiet. The side door located in the kitchen swings open with almost no noise. It was dark and quiet inside the house and Jinwoo led him by the wrist to the staircase - to the second floor where his bedroom is.

It wasn’t his first time. He’d been there before on numerous occasions with their other peers, often to play games after school. But tonight felt different. It wasn’t only because of the late hour or because it was just the two of them alone in a dark room with a twin-sized bed. It was more because of how bare it looked with most of Jinwoo’s possessions already packed away in a couple boxes that were neatly stacked on the floor near the foot of the bed.

“You’re really leaving tomorrow morning, huh?”

Jinwoo doesn’t verbally respond. Instead, he pushes Seungyoon down lightly on the bed where he ends up sitting.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

The door behind the older boy closes softly. Seungyoon’s eyes wander in the dark until they fall on the wall above Jinwoo’s now empty desk where the photos he took that used to be taped there have left their imprints. 

“What are you looking at?” Jinwoo's return startled him slightly.

Seungyoon shook his head, his eyes now following the other boy as he walked towards him.

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.

.

He felt a stinging sensation on his cheek, as Jinwoo worked an alcohol doused cotton ball on the scratch that the wayward cat left on him, but he didn’t really mind, not when he can have Jinwoo so close to him.

And so, Seungyoon did the most that he could in that situation. He gazed at him from the corner of his eyes, appreciating every curve, every crease, and every mark.

“Stop doing that.”

Jinwoo evades his gaze, swallowing hard enough that his Adam's apple bobbed. 

“Doing what?”

Jinwoo's reaction made the corners of Seungyoon's lips curl. He couldn't help but find him so endearing and so damn adorable at the same time. If he could, he would grab him and just hold him tightly in his arms.

They stayed in that position for a while, the smell of rubbing alcohol hanging between them until Seungyoon shifted and turned his body to properly face Jinwoo on the bed.

“What are you trying to pull now?” The older boy pulled back, eyes cautious, but he didn’t miss the pinkish flush on his cheeks now also blooming down his slender neck. 

Seungyoon met his gaze, heat creeping up his neck and filling his own cheeks. Pale moon, pale sheets, Jinwoo’s pale skin. There is the audible sound of a clock ticking time away somewhere.

 

I like being so close to you. Especially, when we're alone.

 

He reached out for Jinwoo’s other hand and gently placed it over his chest.

Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. 

“Do you feel that?” 

There was something warm there, something alive, and something genuine. The moon watching them from the window cast its light on Jinwoo giving him an almost unearthly halo. 

“Hyung, right now…” 

Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. 

“Does your heart feel any different from mine?”

Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. 

Seungyoon looked into the older boy’s eyes, begging him to understand.

 

After some time, Jinwoo pulled his hand away, and after saying something that didn't quite register in Seungyoon's mind, he left the room.

Knowing darkness surrounded Seungyoon and it was soon followed by a dull ache, and yet he still can’t help but be comforted by the lingering warmth of Jinwoo's hand over his chest.

 

I know I can't have you.

But that doesn't mean I’ll stop trying.

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.

.

Jinwoo led him down the staircase in silence. The band-aid on Seungyoon's cheek felt foreign but his heart that was just kick-dropped into his stomach felt much worse.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard Jinwoo say his name softly as he put his hand on his shoulder. Seungyoon couldn't help but shy away from his touch and walk ahead, his bated breath catches painfully in his throat.

“Can I...come closer?” Jinwoo asked him so quietly that Seungyoon couldn't tell if he even heard him right.

Jinwoo's silhouette is illuminated by the moonlight that filtered in from the living room windows and for a moment, Seungyoon wished that he’d brought his camera so that he could take a quick snapshot.

Jinwoo took a couple steps forward and looked up at him, seeking permission.

 

Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump.

How very unfair. That this person in front of him can instantly quiet his mind and confuse his heart so easily.

“You grew up so quickly and now you're even taller than me.”

Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. 

Jinwoo seemed to relax as he pressed against him and placed his head near his chest. The organ that lives there beats erratically in Seungyoon's rib cage.

“Eat well, sleep well, study hard, and listen to your mom.” 

Seungyoon smiled gently, his arms naturally coming to rest around Jinwoo’s waist.

Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. 

Jinwoo looked up at him again, his hand reaching up to caress Seungyoon's injured cheek before moving to rest on his nape.

 

If only time could stop. Seungyoon held his gaze, mesmerized. Feeling a light pull, he felt Jinwoo’s lips press softly against his.

Seungyoon’s pulse quickened and his head exploded in colors at the contact. Lips to lips, chest to chest, heat and friction. Kim Jinwoo was kissing him.

Seungyoon reciprocated hungrily, b with so much youth and yearning that he could barely contain them. Jinwoo’s lips were receptive against his, warm and soft and just as eager.

Lips open, tongues sliding, tasting, curling. It made Seungyoon’s heart pound harder than he’d ever felt it.

It’s only Kim Jinwoo that can make him feel this way.

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.

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.

His hair is a mess, his round glasses almost sliding off his nose as his lips thin in concentration. He is on the bedroom floor with a sketchbook, haphazard in charcoal fill the page. A sudden dislike of his own work grows in the pit of his stomach and it isn’t long until the page is ripped out, crumpled, and thrown aside like many others.

Mino sighed, running his charcoal smeared fingers through his dyed hair. He felt defeated. He just couldn’t seem to get anything right.

A knock on his bedroom door disrupts his thoughts.

“Mino-ya, I’m home.”

He quickly picks up his cell-phone from the floor and checks the time, startled to find that 6 hours has swiftly gone by without him noticing.

“Jinwoo hyung!” he rushes out of the room, “Sorry. I totally forgot.”

Mino watches him close the rice cooker lid. He’s probably disappointed, maybe even pissed. No surprise there. After all, this is the fourth time that he forgot. Even though he promised and even though he stuck a post-it note of it on his bedside table last night, just before Jinwoo left.

It wasn’t even that complicated. All Jinwoo asked for was for him to cook some rice before he got home from his photo shoot.

“Wash your hands.” Jinwoo pats his shoulder with a grin as he passes him. “I picked up some food on my way back so don’t worry about it and just eat as much as you want.”

.

.

.

It was close to midnight and Mino was cooped up in his bedroom again. This time, he is flipping through his old sketchbooks hoping to find some inspiration between its pages.

In the background, Mino could hear the faint sounds of Jinwoo’s video game playing. He senses that something is amiss when he hears the opening music loop again for what might be the fourth or fifth time.

The lights in the living room were turned off when he stepped out of the room and his eyes almost instantly landed on Jinwoo in the dark. He was asleep on the couch, his game controller about to fall out of his hands. Mino approached him quietly. He muted the tv and gently took the game controller from his hands and set it on the coffee table.

“Four healing potions, please...” Jinwoo mumbled as he stirred slightly. Mino froze in place as he waited for Jinwoo to settle down.

When the other finally seemed to have drifted off back to sleep, Mino carefully tiptoed back to his room. He resurfaces after a couple minutes with his sketchbook tucked in his arm and a pencil.

Jinwoo’s breathing was slow and rhythmic. The glow from the tv softly illuminated his features. Mino stared at him for a moment, he looked so young and angelic. Somewhere in his heart, it pained him to see Jinwoo like this. He settles down on the floor, opens his sketchbook and starts quickly tracing the outline of Jinwoo’s face and shoulders.

As the night grew deeper, Mino moved to shading in the angles and contours of the other man on paper. His fingers rubbed the edges of Jinwoo’s lips slightly to soften the line before moving to do the same with his eyes. For a second, a thought passes in his mind, a thought he knew would be best left unentertained. He puts his pencil down, looks at Jinwoo again and stares as shadows start playing across his face.

Mino knew that it won’t be long until Jinwoo rouses from his slumber and he really doesn’t want to be caught by him like this. He feels a little guilty, taking advantage of Jinwoo’s innocence but Mino figured that as long as Jinwoo never finds out, everything will still be okay between them. He lays a blanket over Jinwoo before sneaking back to his room to put the finishing touches on what he just sketched.

By the time he finished, it was well past sunrise. He ripped the page out of his sketchbook, hiding it away where the others are, where no other eyes can lay on them other than his own.

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It’s rare for Jinwoo to go out but tonight seems different. Mino is in the living room watching tv as he waits for the other to finish. Usually, Jinwoo takes about 10 minutes to get ready but tonight Jinwoo had spent almost an hour just picking out what to wear.

“Are you almost done?” Mino yells from his place on the couch where he has been channel surfing for the past hour.

Jinwoo doesn’t respond and Mino continues to hear shuffling sounds coming from Jinwoo’s closed bedroom door.

Aish. Seriously. When are we leaving?

Mino tosses the tv remote on the other side, leaving the tv on an infomercial that featured a handheld pressure washer.

“Buy one, get one free! And if you pick up the phone and order now, we will give you all the attachments you see here along with these microfiber towels for just...”

The door to Jinwoo’s bedroom door opened and Mino couldn’t help but let out a whistle when he saw him walk out.

“What do you think?”

Mino looks him up and down. Hair slicked back, tight dark jeans, a plain white tee, and a black leather jacket. He looked like one of those hot young movie stars in American movies and Mino couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed over how dangerously handsome he looked. Not to mention that he now felt very under dressed in his baggy shirt with holes and bright neon joggers.

“I think I need to change.”

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.

Mino hastens his steps as he follows after Jinwoo as he disappears inside an Italian restaurant located in a touristy spot in the city. The pair almost ended up arriving late. Fortunately, they met a taxi driver that happened to know a shortcut and he was able to drop them off earlier than planned. By the time Mino makes it inside, Jinwoo was already being escorted by a waiter towards a table near the back of the restaurant.

“Your friends are not here yet?” Mino asks when he finally catches up to him.

“Almost. I think.” Jinwoo tells him. “I’ll send a text.”

He takes the seat next to Jinwoo and eyes the two empty seats across them. He doesn’t really know who they're meeting up with, all he knows is that they're Jinwoo’s friends from back when he was still in high school.

Mino decides to busy himself with the menus that the waiter left. He finds that the restaurant has a lot of different entrees to choose from and they also seem to have a good wine selection.

“Jinwoo-hyung…” Mino's voice trailed off.

He was hoping to show the other a particular wine on the drink menu when he noticed that the vibe was off. Jinwoo seemed distracted and distant, his gaze darting between the phone in his hand and the front door of the restaurant every few seconds. It was mere minutes after that when a dashing pair arrived and made their way to their table.

 

The shift in Jinwoo's mood was evident. Mino stood back to give Jinwoo and his friends some space when they neared their table. Both are tall, young, and most definitely attractive. Mino thinks their small group could easily pass as a boy band, the kind that made teenagers lose sleep at night and open their wallets.

“Mino, these are my friends.” Jinwoo tells him as they all take their seats.

“That’s Seunghoon.” Jinwoo points to the guy now sitting across him, “And this is Seungyoon.” he points to the other guy taking the remaining empty seat across Jinwoo on the table.

Mino nods his head to acknowledge them. He reaches out a hand to Seunghoon first, who takes it and gives him a vigorous yet firm shake.

“Lee Seunghoon.” His eyes turned into half-moons as he grinned. “Pleased to meet you. Let’s get along well from now on.”

“He’s a year older than you.” Jinwoo elbows Mino slightly.

“Is that so?” Seunghoon spoke casually and with interest, “Call me ‘hyung’ from now on, Mino-ya!”

Mino couldn’t help but break into a grin as well. Seunghoon seemed nice and spirited and he had no doubt that they would get along just fine.

He offers a smile and his hand to Seungyoon next who gives him a quick look-over and a barely there hand shake.

“I’m Kang Seungyoon.” his voice was monotone, “Jinwoo-hyung and I have been together since we were in high school.”

Mino chuckled, it was almost as if he was trying to challenge him in some way.

“I see. You two are such good friends. I better do my best to catch up...” their gazes locked, “...now that Jinwoo-hyung and I are living together.”

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Mino spent the next hour conversing with Jinwoo and his friend Seunghoon between shared slices of pizza, bites of steak, and sips of red wine.

“So…” Seunghoon suddenly leaned towards him as soon as Jinwoo excused himself to go to the mens room. “How did you two meet?”

Mino pondered for a moment, “I saw a photo of Jinwoo-hyung in a magazine and I asked a friend who happens to work there if he can get me his number.”

Seunghoon smiled at him curiously, “What happened next?”

Mino took a sip of wine before he spoke, “I called him and he hung up on me. He thought I was a creep.”

“Eh. Why?” Seunghoon snickered.

“I asked him to be my model for a painting for an exhibit that I was participating in.” Mino’s finger slides over the rim of his wine glass in recollection, “I was really persistent that time. I even drove for four hours just to see him and he still rejected me.”

“Aigoo~ You poor thing...” Seunghoon playfully gives his shoulder a few pats, “There, there.”

Everything seemed to be going fine. At least, that’s what Mino wanted to believe. He steals a glance at Kang Seungyoon, who has barely spoken a word tonight. A shot glass filled with shimmering amber liquid sat untouched in front of him. Mino couldn't quite put his finger on it but there was something very familiar about him.

“How about you, Seungyoon?” Mino turns his attention to him, hoping that he would join them, “How did you meet Jinwoo-hyung?”

He waited for him to answer but he remained silent. Mino knew simply from the way Seungyoon met his gaze that he was trying to assess him just like he is.

“I introduced them.” Seunghoon’s response cuts between them.

“Oh?” It was Mino’s turn to get curious.

Seunghoon poured himself another glass, “Sometimes I think that maybe I shouldn't have.”

It could be the wine that made Seunghoon loose lipped or maybe Mino just heard it wrong but there was a certain bite behind his remark.

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Another hour soon passed, beside him, a collection of empty wine glasses had steadily grown. Mino stared contemplatively at Jinwoo, wondering briefly how he can still remain upright and chatty after downing all that alcohol.

“Like I was saying, Mino-ya…” there was a slight slur in his speech, his fingers wrapped around the almost empty wine glass precariously.

Cheeks flushed from the alcohol, there was something alluring in the way Jinwoo looked, in the way he spoke, and in the way he laughed incessantly at just about anything.

Mino couldn’t help but have the overwhelming desire to touch him in some way. His hand reaches out and lands on Jinwoo’s heated cheek, softly caressing the skin there.

 

“Don’t touch him.”

 

From across the table, Seungyoon's heated gaze pierced through him and it made Mino almost want to laugh.

He lowered his hand with intention to Jinwoo’s lips and slowly the skin there with the pad of his thumb just to see his reaction.

 

A bottle of wine tipped as Seungyoon grabbed Mino's arm and pushed it away from Jinwoo. It was so easy to read him that Mino couldn’t help but release a chuckle which led to Seungyoon grabbing a fistful of his shirt.

“Seungyoon-ah...” Seunghoon’s tone was gentle but his grip around Seungyoon’s wrist was far from it. Mino could tell from the veins that surfaced on his hand.

“I told you not to touch him.”  Seungyoon shook him with every word, no longer able to suppress his anger but Mino was not taken aback by his outburst.

“And just who do you think you are to tell me that?” 

Mino's words seem to belt him across the face. Seungyoon looked at him with an intensity that made breathing harder before harshly shoving him, making him almost lose his balance.

“Don’t talk like you know everything between us when you don’t know anything at all.”

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Jinwoo looked worse for wear. Mino tries to help him maintain his balance as he leads him to his bedroom. Mumbling something incoherent, Jinwoo stumbles and falls on the hardwood, taking Mino with him.

“Hyung, please get up.” Mino sighed for the nth time, “Your bed is just right there.”

He turns on the lamp on the bedside table then tries to pull Jinwoo up from the floor again and with sheer luck or brute strength, finally manages to get him to his bed.

Nothing could describe his feelings of frustration right now. The night did not end well and he was dreading sun-up knowing that Jinwoo will likely not have any recollection of it and ask. 

“Mino-ya, is that you?” Jinwoo’s eyes squinted at him, “Where’s Seungyoon? Where did he go?”

 

I-di-ot.

 

Mino placed his finger on Jinwoo’s forehead and gave him a light flick.

Don't go looking for another man when I'm the one