couples break up for so many reasons. cheating, lack of communication, or when the other just falls out of love.

for dahyun and sana, they don't exactly know why.

they just know when it happened, how it happened, how it felt when it happened.

but there's one thing they don't exactly know.
 
why did it happen?

one day they just woke up and, poof, all gone; goodbye, it's been fun, thank you for everything, we can never really work it out so let's just stop trying.

two years, no closure.

and what does it make them?

it made them look like fools.

because a year has already passed but dahyun's picture is still inside sana's wallet.

and sana's voice records are still played by dahyun everynight, at exactly 11:11 pm, hoping that one day she'll finally get what she always wanted.

the problem is, dahyun is not sure what she truly wants.

does she want sana back?

does she want closure?

does she want to erase the memory of minatozaki sana inside her brain?

does she want courage to call sana and talk?

yes, she wants all of that, but deep inside, she knows that what she really wants is to be finally happy.

and being happy means getting the closure she needed...

or forgetting about sana...

or having the courage to talk to sana...

or having sana back.

for sana there is only one thing she wants, and she is sure of it. she wants to get out of her bed, put on her shoes, grab her car keys, drive at full speed, knock on dahyun's door and when it opens, kiss her.

why then? why is it so hard to do that sana?

dahyun? are your fingers too heavy to dial that number?

 

...

"I should call her." said dahyun, a small sigh leaving as she pressed on sana's number in her contacts, not hesitating, not even a bit.

"I know it's 1 am already but if you don't pick up I swear this is a sign I am never gonna call agai–" just before she swore and threaten herself, sana answered the call.

silence, was all dahyun gave.

....

 more silence, from the both of them.

a cough was heard from the other line. "you know one of us needs to talk to have a conversation started right?" sana chuckled.

it was like a snap in front of dahyun's face because suddenly she's awake from her daydream. "ah yeah, yeah, I'm sorry I am still carefully choosing my words." 

well that was awkward, because nothing was heard from the other line after, just pure air of tension.

and dahyun felt it, she felt the tension, oh if only sana was there in front of her they'd be making out right now.

"I need to kiss you."

she said.

and regretted it after, biting shut, hitting her pillow like a baby girl throwing a tantrum.

"go ahead, I'll be waiting at my door."

sana replied.

which sana didn't regret, smiling like a dream come true, rushing to her door as if there was a pizza delivery coming thru.

and so dahyun went to sana's apartment.

four knocks for, "I want you back."

and as sana opened her door, the non-existent fire that was keeping the tension high between them just grew hotter and it felt as if they were sweating.

 then two seconds later sana was locked between dahyun's arms on the wall like a piece of art, kissing the masterpiece passionately yet so gentle.

dahyun's hair being tied by sana's fingers, sana's neck getting red because of dahyun's mouth, a year of hunger and madness made the whole room burn, and they were sweating, but would run for more.

sana pulled her upstairs, entering the room with her robe ready to be untied, she's waited long enough for this.

dahyun's lips never left sana's neck, "you're mine." marks on every side of it, even though none of the claims was true.

atleast tonight, sana belongs to her, because right now sana is ing her shirt, and she does it so well.

if dahyun was sure of what she ever wanted, if being happy is what she really wanted, tonight's the night she got it.

she's happy.

because sana is in front of her, uncovered. with dahyun's lips walking all over her body, her hands wandering free but careful, their voices calling each other's names.

she is happy.

until it was over.

because as the wave crashes over them, the woman lying down beside her was suddenly a stranger.

whom she have met and loved before, but everything that's happened between them already faded away, and being happy with her, just felt like a sin.

"sana, what are we doing?"

"I don't know dahyun, it felt great while it lasted."

dahyun wanted to talk.

and sana thinks it's the right time to talk, for they both were still uncovered, transparent, and they had no filter.

"can we talk?"

they both said in sync, making them laugh, "we should talk."

without looking at each other's eyes, they steadied themselves and prepared for the truth.

"sana, we were happy, we always went on dates, trips, we bought each other gifts, we kissed on many occasions, we said I love yous before going to bed, and we fought like mature people. how did we go from there, to this?"

dahyun started, and as soon as she did she felt a sting in her heart, she was suddenly hurting so  much that she felt the tightness inside her.

"it was too good to be true." sana replied, and as she continues, her voice keeps trembling and tears started falling from her eyes, dahyun tried not to look, because she knows it would only take her back to the days when they were busy lifting each other up that they forgot they need to do it on themselves first.

"dahyun, you are such a wonderful person, you were always more than I've ever dreamed of and you gave me so much happiness. I tried risking everything but whenever I lose my way, I get so scared of you getting lost when you try to find me."

sigh. I never got lost trying to find you sana, I just got tired of always trying to chase after you.

"two years of you being so much more than enough was just me being unfair to you."

sigh.. you were never unfair, you were enough.

"you always have what I needed and I always needed something from you. you were so busy filling me in you were slowly turning empty, I want you to love me but I needed you to love yourself too..."

sigh... but loving you is like loving myself.

"that is why I made every mistake I know to make you realize how bad of a person I can be, I wanted you to leave me because it felt like I only have you when I can't handle myself. I treated you like you weren't someone I hoped for all of my life, I kissed guys and girls whom I never imagined a future with, I rejected all your help and left you. but you still loved me, I prayed for something that's enough for me yet you gave me so much it made me choke."

none of those words left dahyun's mouth, so she just held sana's hand, turned to her and kissed her forehead, she gave her warmest smile and got up to put her clothes on and leave.

sana stood by her door as she and dahyun stared at each other. 

"sana, maybe days or months from now there'd be someone knocking on your door with a bouquet of flowers in their hand, wearing the fanciest clothes they could to impress you, and I might be getting the same too, but I hope you won't forget that you are the first to my everything." dahyun smiled, "my first love."

and without saying a word sana gave her a peck on the lips.

"I won't open my door if they don't knock four times, and the only person I know who knocks four times is you."

and they exchanged laughs before waving goodbye.

 now dahyun is sitting in her car letting sana's words sink in, wondering what the moral of the story is, on the side of the road. 

she can't drive like this, she's a stupid mess crying about a confusing essay that her ex-girlfriend gave.

just like everyone reading this, dahyun didn't understand a single thing about what sana has said.

but she knows that after this night, she'll buy a bouquet of flowers, and knock four times on someone's door.