Have you ever thought that you might not get married someday? That maybe your soulmate might have lost their way in world and you won’t ever find them, let alone, marry them? That maybe no one will ever love you for who you are because all they are in love with is the idea of you and not with you?

I have also thought the same for years until I learned that I was wrong with what I thought because of her.

---

As soon as the doors opened, I can feel their attention fixated on my movement. I can also feel her looking at me while waiting for me to get to her and join her on other end of this aisle. I walked carefully and suddenly, I wanted to rush just to get to her because I know how impatient she is.

“I’m sorry, I’m late,” I told her for I just arrived at the movie house she told me to go but I got stuck in traffic jam making me late for our date.

Yujin was leaning on the wall and she wore her favorite yellow top layered with a grey jacket and partnered with a black cap as I saw her. She looks totally amazing but she is looking at me with those cold eyes telling me, ‘You’re in trouble, Wonyoung.’

“I’m sorry. It was the traffic jam’s fault.  I swear not to be late on next date. I promise.” I weakly said with pleading eyes in hopes to thaw her cold stare.

Yujin has always been keen on time and punctuality for time wasted can never be recovered. With our line of work, every second and every minute with each other is already precious. She’s managing their business while being an actress and a triathlon athlete, whereas I’m a model and a singer-songwriter. Being able to go on a date every once in a while is certainly a present, and I curse the traffic jam for making me late.

Yujin sighed. “You know I can’t stay mad at you for too long, Wonyoung, especially when you’re looking at me like that.” Yujin sighed again, but this time she faintly smiled.

“Like what?” I innocently asked.

“Like you’re a baby rabbit that’s asking for a carrot.” Yujin said with that goofy smile that I love. “Just don’t be late next time, love. You know that we both hate waiting.” And with that, she held my hand and went to watch the movie that she wanted to watch with me

Since that little incident, I made sure to never be late nor make her wait on our dates ever again.

---

As I take another step closer to her, I can see through the veil that our close friends are indeed here and their eyes are also on me. I remembered how they all reacted when I told them the news and how they were all happy and proud of us.

Everyone was around at dinner. It’s been awhile since we were gathered together in one place. It’s a rare and important moment since everyone is busy with their lives. Sakura-unnie and Hyewon-unnie are into modeling but still gamers on their free time; Minjoo-unnie is into acting and also a singer-songwriter; Chaeyeon-unnie has her own dance studio and a businesswoman; Yena-unnie co-manages the dance studio of Chaeyeon-unnie and she’s also a businesswoman; Yuri-unnie is a prominent singer-songwriter; Hitomi-unnie, Nako-unnie, and Eunbi-unnie are business partners on their bread and pastry as well as fruits and vegetable business; Chaewon-unnie is a singer and as well as a businesswoman.

It has been a while but I certainly missed them. They didn’t even hesitate about cancelling their plans for tonight when I told them that I want everyone to meet up and grab dinner together. We’ve been close friends since high school. We’ve known each other due to friends of friends and it’s amazing that we’ve clicked with one another and treated each other like family and true to what they say; friendships that has exuded the 7 year mark will last for a lifetime. 

The food are already in front of us, there’s wine and also sprite, there’s Yujin’s favorite, tteokbokki, and there are also macaroons, beef steak, and a lot more variety of dishes to choose from. They’re already loud and going wild with the food and we’re not even starting yet. It’s almost as if we’ve never spent time away from each other.

I felt someone poked me on the side. I looked to my left to see who it was and it was Yujin. She leaned closer to my ears and whispered, “Let’s just drop it when everyone’s done eating.” She leaned back while making sure that we’re still close to each other. I swear, this puppy of a human is indeed clingy and I’m proud that she is mine as I am hers.

As the dinner went, I can hear Minjoo-unnie and Nako-unnie were bickering about who takes the best food pictures. Hitomi went to side with Nako. Hyewon-unnie stayed unbothered on whatever is happening. Some were talking about dances and eventually, everyone ended up telling about what’s happening with their lives to catch up. It’s just so fun to be with them. There’s a lot more that happened but Sakura-unnie and Eunbi-unnie were staring at me or maybe at us a lot more than usual. I’m guessing they already know something.

When dinner ended, Yujin gathered their attention by tapping her wine glass with a teaspoon. ”Can I have everyone’s attention please?” By the time she said that, I swear, everyone had their eyes set on Yujin.

Yujin stood up from her seat and asked me to stand up too by asking for my hand. That simple act itself garnered reactions from the others. I heard some ‘Are you thinking what I’m thinking?’ and I could see their teasing looks especially now that I feel that I’m blushing.

“I won’t beat around the bush.” I looked at Yujin who is already looking at me. If I was already blushing a while ago, I think I’m blushing harder now. “We’re engaged now.”

Everybody was surprised except for Sakura-unnie and Eunbi-unnie. Everyone were speaking in chorus and I couldn’t catch up with what they were saying but I heard some ‘About time they got engaged,’ ‘Congratulations,’ and ‘I’m happy for the both of you.’

I was looking at Eunbi-unnie and Sakura-unnie’s reaction about this and they looked happy for us too because they kept nodding while smiling. Actually, everyone was happy and proud of us.

After dropping the news, Yujin and I took our seat again and all of us just decided to spend time drinking wine and further catching up and talking to one another because we have the whole night to ourselves.

“I’m just so happy that Yujin finally acted on her feelings because Wonyoung was so convinced before that she’ll grow old alone.” I looked at Minjoo-unnie with wide eyes because that was our conversation back then! “She even said that if she’ll grow old alone, she’ll feel lonely.”

I think Minjoo-unnie is already drunk because I could see hints of pink on her cheeks and that’s why she’s talking about it now. I can’t believe that she’s exposing my thoughts before like this. That’s supposed to be between us only. I—

“Minjoo-unnie! That’s—, “I complained only to be cut off by someone.

“As if I’d let Wonyoung grow old alone.” Yujin proudly said. “We’ll grow old together.” She continued.

Because of Yujin’s statement, we earned some teasing specially from Yena-unnie.

“But back then you were chickening out when you were about to confess.” Yena said in between her laughs.

Yujin scoffed. “What matters now is that we’re engaged. The past is important and will always be remembered but still, what’s important is now, right, love?”

I simply nodded in response and after that, everything was a mess. It was a beautiful mess with the people who made my high school a lot more special. There’s no doubt that they are invited to the wedding too.

---

I roamed my eyes around the venue and it’s really pretty. We’ve planned this for months and it really is our wedding day now. The aisle is decorated with pretty white flowers and my bouquet is lovely too. It’s made up of carnations and dahlia. These flowers suddenly made me remember the day we broke up.

It’s the day I dread. I’ll be going abroad to finish my studies there. The preparations were already done long ago by my parents and Yujin has also known about it beforehand. Ever since she knew about it, we’ve been spending a lot of time together. We’ve went to dates here and there as well as staying overnight at my apartment. Fortunately, 2nd year of college ended and it’s already the summer break and that’s why we’re free to be with each other.

To be honest, my dream is to become a singer-songwriter but my parents want me to finish a degree first before pursuing my dreams, and another thing is that if I did obey them, I’ll get to choose who to love and they won’t arrange me with someone else. It just when your own kin is not supportive of what you want. For my dreams and for Yujin, I’m willing to do what they want.

“Are you really sure that we’re breaking up today?” Yujin carefully asked. 

I’ve told her long ago that we’re going to break up on the day of my flight. We’ve argued about this for the longest time. I just don’t want her to be tied with someone who’s too far away. The time zone’s a mess and our body clocks will not be in sync, I just don’t want to bother her while she’s also busy at school. But she knows that my heart is all hers though, and I know that the same goes with her.

I thought of giving her a promise ring but the adage that says ‘promises are meant to be broken’ is enough to make me feel scared of promises itself.

I simply nodded as response. I can’t find the words to say now that we’re actually here. I just wanted to be with her and live my life the way I want to, but I can’t knowing I’m still chained to my parents.

“Since that’s the case, I want you to have this.” She gave me a two stems of flowers and also an envelope. “The flowers mean ‘I’ll wait forever’ and read the letter when you’re bored on the plane.” She said with a smile.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to prepare a bouquet for you.” Yujin shyly said while looking on the ground. “On the bright side, you won’t be bothered with bringing a bouquet on the plane with you.” She looked at me with the same intensity as she did when she confessed to me back then.

“Thank you, Yujinnie. You do know that it’s the thought that matters most, right?”

She nodded as a response. We fell silent and we just stood there looking at each other while being comfortable with silence. It’s wonderful how the background noise simply drifts away and all I am focused with is her and us right now, at this moment. I spent my time memorizing her features again. Although I have tons of pictures of her and us together, I like being with her in person the most because I can’t hug her picture nor feel her warmth through the screen. 

Hell, I’ll miss her. 

I’ll miss my person.

“You know that I love you, right?” I said breaking the quietness between us. 

“I know.”

“I just hope you’ll wait for me even though we’re breaking up today.” I said with a smile. It’s so hard to keep a smile on my face when all I want to do is break down and cry. But, I don’t want her to remember this day as a gloomy day. I want her to remember me smiling, not a Wonyoung who cried and had a breakdown.

Yujin smiled at me, the same smile that I fell in love with. “Even though I hate waiting, I’ll wait for you to come back. You’re the only exception.”

I hugged Yujin, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and perfume for the last time. I made a mental note to search for her perfume there. I know that getting a whiff of her perfume will instantly make me remember of home, of hot chocolates during a rainy day, of pancakes and maple syrups as breakfast, of hugs after a tiring week, and lastly, of her. What more if I smelled like her? It will almost be as if I never went away.

“I think I have to go now.” I said after looking at my wristwatch. My flight will happen in less than an hour and I still have to check in my luggage bag and do some other stuff.

I clutched the handle of my luggage bag, held the strap of my backpack, and walked away from her. I told myself to not look back because if I do, I might not want to go, but I just can’t help it. When I looked back, I saw her staring at me still wearing that gorgeous smile. It’s hard to resist going back to just hug her when she’s there looking like a total baby, my baby. I saw her hand making a small wave and I waved back. 

That’s it.

This is goodbye.

I continued to walk away and I felt my phone vibrate on my front pocket. I took it and it was a text message from Yujin. It read, “I love you. Don’t forget to read the letter while on the plane.”

I looked back again and still, she’s staring back at me. This time, I mouthed, “I love you too.” to her and I saw that she smiled while biting her lower lip. She’s on the verge of crying as I am. I wanted to