“Destroy it Joohyun. Destroy it all. Every memory, every moment, every touch we shared. And run. Run, and don’t look back. Because I never will.”

Joohyun vaguely wonders at what point in time she should begin at to understand.

Perhaps, she could begin with the subtle– no.

She pauses and frowns. They were hardly subtle signs now that she mulled over it, and sadly deep down, a part of her knew that very well.

The signs were loud and clear screaming at her from afar in red. A warning which perhaps she had subconsciously turned a blind eye to because…well. Because she was in denial? Because she had wanted to hope and pray that what she suspected wasn’t the case?

A red rose.

Was that where it started? A red rose that was gifted to her when they first met.

A bold move on the younger woman’s part she recalled, as she remembered admiring the flower. The luscious crimson petals that demanded her attention and spoke of passion and energy, flared vibrantly with excitement. It was the same fiery red that aroused exhilaration to course deep through her bones whenever they laughed together, whenever they looked at one another, whenever they moved as one passionately beneath the sheets.

And yet it was so capable of chilling her body at its core. Because, sometimes it was red that was never hers.

She was never a fan of bright red lipstick; it was too bold for the likes of Joohyun who preferred the mellower shades. So, it was not difficult to recognise the poorly erased stain discernible along the smooth white skin of her neck.

It was a shade neither of them used.

“Don’t wait up for me tonight. I’ll be home late.”

Seungwan placed a gentle kiss between her brows and Joohyun wondered how many others have also received the same kiss.

She couldn’t count the number of occasions where she had desperately wanted to run away. But Seungwan was like the ocean’s tide, roaring out at her and pulling her deeper into the dark abyss with each powerful wave. No matter how far on the shore she stood, Seungwan would always find a way to lull her back into the depths of the waters. There were days where Joohyun felt as if she was on the cusp of drowning, battling against the unforgiving waters that rosed as high as the sky only to envelope her in complete darkness when it all came crashing down.

Yet it wasn’t always turbulent, because just as ruthless as the cerulean waves were, it was eerily calm at times, gently lapping over the sand inducing a state of serenity and tranquillity within her. It was soothing. But Joohyun had learned that it was only a false illusion of peace.

Just like Seungwan who sparkled shades of blue.

Like the azure skies that reflected off of the calm waters of the ocean.

But blue skies were never everlasting and occasionally hid beneath the grey clouds that loomed in its stead, giving way to the clear droplets that fell to the ground in heavy sheets.

Was this another sign that Joohyun missed?

A memory from long ago surfaced, unbidden. Joohyun doesn’t remember the exact details but she knows they were arguing. Again.

It felt as if they were perpetually stuck in this endless loop of fighting. What was once seen as an adorable quirk was now a nuisance. Any time they spent in each other’s presence was now occupied by petty quarrels, ensuing in nights under the covers alone in hotel rooms and an abandoned, cold, empty bedroom where warmth once laid.

Was this the inevitable end?

Joohyun thinks Seungwan no longer shines like the blue she once saw.

But when there were no more droplets left to fall to the ground and the clouds parted once more and the bright blue skies returned accompanied by the sun that shined brilliantly, Joohyun should have been comforted.

So why did the yellow warmth of the sun feel so cold on her skin?

Yellow.

It was a beautiful colour in her eyes.

So cheerful, so warm, yet so deceitful.