Even if the roads and streets are calm, it’s never enough for tranquility to fall upon the concrete and asphalt that is only stomped on with uncalled for fits of rage--after all, the so-called normalcy finds it completely natural to blow everything out of proportion the moment that is least expected, with ingratitude cascading in response to actions that one should be thankful for. Or that is what Hongbin believes. Even if it’s a weekend, a serene midday that shouldn’t be interrupted by random snapping--it has already turned into one of the peculiarities that Hongbin has been witness of during his whole life. How the most minuscule thing people should be grateful can become into reasons for pointless anger that makes him want for the day to be over once and for all.

 

‘First world problems’ he would call it ironically, yet he is aware that it’s far more accurate to label those as ‘ pointless and unnecessary problems that the normal cause ’. He finds the perfect example in the young woman standing before him, the recipient from a client who had asked him to deliver a chocolate box and a bouquet of flowers. Earlier on he wouldn’t really have paid attention to this, but the reaction from the petite girl that looks at him with such an incriminating look as if he was aiding a criminal makes Hongbin take some mental notes to never again take any request that involves couples.

 

She rolls her eyes, scoffing shortly after, “The question is, why did you have to bring this?”

 

Hongbin can’t help but ask himself the same thing, thinking that he must have been out of his mind in order to get in the middle of a supposed display of adoration by being the ‘cupid’ in question. To try and make the girl understand that it’s just his job would be an entire waste of time, especially with how she is now frowning at him, “Could you please sign this?” he justs shrugs off the question. Yet it doesn’t do anything to spare him from the shouting that follows, the irrational irritation and name-calling, finger pointing at the sender of the present.

 

“Why does he have to be so careless with me!” and it seems like there’s no real reason for this showcase of anger and ingratitude, but when Hongbin sees the girl just taking the presents from his hand in between some sobs--he can just tell that no matter how much he thinks about it, he won’t be able to understand or relate. Because even when you display love, they make it far more complicated--as usual. Maybe even to behave with all the liberties their status gives them, in Hongbin’s book this means to complain about things you shouldn’t, “He should have come here himself if he says he loves me, not send it via delivery”

 

‘Needless drama’ , it resonates on the back of Hongbin’s mind--further reiterating the fact that love is something he is better off without. For a second there he wonders if life had blessed him with the ability to choose whom he wanted, would he had been able to deal with the unwarranted drama a relationship most of the time has? Question that also brings the fact to the surface, that if he was actively looking for his soulmate--then more drama would have come his way.

 

He finds himself biting down on his bottom lip, unsure of how to deal with the situation at hand and just waiting for the girl to find some calm after making a scene of that magnitude like he had been the one to cause her this grief. Once the concrete has endured her fit of exasperation and frustration time and time again, she manages to settle down--and albeit the awkwardness of the situation, Hongbin shows her his folder, pen holding to the border of the paper inside of it and tries to speak again, hoping his inquiry won’t be unheard this time, “Could you please sign this?”

 

There is a loud sigh that follows his question, a bothered expression paints itself on the girl’s face as she lets out a small, “Sure” while she grabs the pen to sign so that it’s certified that the delivery reached the recipient. Hongbin thanks her and is grateful he has already finished this request, yet just when he is turning around towards the company’s motorbike he is riding--he hears the girl raise her voice, “Please!” she says, “Please don’t take any more requests from my boyfriend anymore--if you see his number, don’t take his request on the app”

 

Hongbin tilts his head to the side in response, confusion evident yet she continues--voice smaller in comparison to her shouting a few minutes ago, “It’s to make him learn that if you actually love someone, you are the one that has to go to them”

 

It doesn’t really make the most of sense now to Hongbin, for this was nothing but a search to make things practical by someone who supposedly is in love with another person. At a loss, Hongbin can only nod his head to show he has acknowledged what she has said, “Will do” he tells her, with a bow that he expects shows her that he at least wants to do his job and wants no part in a lovers’ quarrel--after all, he was only the delivery boy in this case. He excuses himself and leaves the building entrance where they both were standing at, the workplace from the distressed girl.

 

He gets on his motorbike and before he puts on his helmet and leaves, he tells her something, maybe as an indirect way to at least tell the girl to recommend him on the app, “I hope you enjoy your present” after all, efficiency is something Hongbin had shown in delivering what had been given to him safely. She smiles weakly at him in response, and Hongbin decides to start his motorbike, hand securing his helmet before taking his leave.

 

“Wait!” he hears the girl’s voice calling out to him, turning his head to the side in questioning--hoping that a sudden wave of anger hadn’t taken over her on a whim. Yet what she says takes him by entire surprise, “Is your hand okay?” 

 

It had become a matter that had passed inadvertently to everyone else that was part of his day to day in some way, with people not caring to even learn the reason behind the bandages that covered his hand. He knows the girl’s gaze falls on it and he can tell the worry, yet explaining that the only reason he covers it is to conceal his identity would get him in an unpleasant situation, “It’s nothing” he replies, hoping it can be deemed an appropriate enough answer.  

 

“You should  be careful not to drive like that or else you will harm yourself more”

 

“I am okay” Hongbin replies to her and in reality, he actually is. It’s nothing but the way he has chosen to conceal himself, practical in its simplicity yet without the need to resort to products that have only achieved making him feel worse than he should each time he has found himself in the position to have them do their job, rid of imperfections, “It doesn’t hurt” he lies, it’s a blatant lie. Because even though there is no cut, it is just a disguise--one he has found himself coaxed into wearing by life itself for as long as he can remember, and that should be enough to feel at least slightly hurt, “Thank you for your concern, miss” he says before he rides off.

 

The only thing that is not an attempt at concealing his true self is the fact that his gratitude is completely sincere. A silent thank you that he lets manifest in a sigh, Hongbin prefers to be treated as someone who had carelessly injured himself while going about his way--a result of maybe reckless actions that could be attributed to his youth rather than being looked down and having people interact with him as if he was soiled from the depths of his soul, like a canvas that had become unworthy of being looked at for a blemish made it undesirable in the human eye. He prefers this to being shunned. 

 

That’s just how things are, after all--no matter if he dislikes it less. White lies seem to be the solution for people who would stain the society otherwise, or who need a written recommendation to know they can function.

 

Hongbin can’t help the rising curiousity he feels at times, whether all people whose star was unlucky enough to give them this role in life get to feel this, if all soulmate bearers abhor it as much as he does. Yet he is aware that everyone is different and their sentiments could clash regarding love, regarding this type of invisible yet imprinted union. Some actively go in the search for love, try to reach the happy ending they feel deserving of, some decide to attempt going against what fate has written for them and take the tragic route until maybe life proves them that there is no way to go at what has is set in stone already.

 

And there is the other side of the coin, that of normal people who think they are eligible by destiny to break the unspoken rules of the world--yet no matter how much strength their resolve holds, the awful truth is always shoved in their faces. Having the liberty of loving someone means nothing when a person whose soul is tied can’t ever be loved the same no matter if you tried--it doesn’t matter how much you can claim you love someone, someone whose soul is bonded can’t ever be the choice of anyone for the won’t ever be the same like the one their match can bring them. And Hongbin has been witness to that, how people like him can’t go out of their match because someone else’s love wouldn’t be enough. 

 

At time though, there are occasions that never fail to perplex him all over gain. The complexity of the people deemed normal, the rights they unconsciously feel owners of--even in mundane instances like the one he has seen a couple of minutes ago. It’s infuriating and baffling.

 

At a red light, Hongbin makes sure that his bandages are tied tightly around his hand, there is no point in going through unnecessary unpleasantries if they were to fall in the moment he least expects it after all. There is no need for glances of pity of disgust, there is no point in losing his job for not being careful. And he repeats it to himself, loud enough in his mind to surpass the sound of the engine.

 

////

 

It’s the same as any other day, a constant back and forth that translates into meeting different kinds of people briefly, too ephemeral to mark a difference, way too many faces to remember at the end of the day, plenty of names to note down that in his current moment in life--will only remain but a log in his inbox. There is nothing too special that will remain in Hongbin’s mind as a vivid memory, even if the day isn’t quite over--there is nothing that could be highlighted. Except, maybe the clients that give him enough trouble to then turn into mere anecdotes he can tell Wonshik after arriving home from his night shifts--at times, the only moment in which he can find his friend home after being hours on his studio. The peculiarities of Hongbin’s clients at times make enough for a laugh, even if otherwise Wonshik considers some of these as serious matters.

 

However, Hongbin considers it only fair that Wonshik listens to his stories. It’s only just since Wonshik makes Hongbin, more times than not, listen to his musings about love and tales of finding the one that he is already exhausted from listening. All while hearing the name of Wonshik’s crush over and over again no matter if Hongbin just exasperatedly wants to tell the other to shut up, he understands just how amazing his crush is in his view.

 

However, Hongbin is aware that asking for silence from the other or for a toned down version of his excitement wouldn’t be equitable in any sort of way because, in between the intricacies of their friendship there is something Hongbin hasn’t found before in anyone else--a sense of acceptance coming from a normal person like Wonshik, an unbiased look that doesn’t hold traces of pity or any other negative sentiment. The tranquility of not hearing comments filled with hostility because of not having the liberty to choose whom to love and somehow being deemed less for it. And when Hongbin’s mind reminds him of the times that Wonshik became a safe place of sorts, he can’t help but smile fondly despite it all--at least life granted him a best friend like Wonshik.

 

It’s entirely strange, Hongbin believes, to see his phone blinking a few times, a notification displaying on his screen that reads he has received a message from Wonshik. It’s oddly early in the day for his best friend to do that--despite the clock indicating midday has already passed. Hongbin would have been inclined to think that it was far more likely that Wonshik would be asleep currently after working all night on his studio, dropping by back home didn’t seem to be on his to-do list the previous night after all.

 

He parks his vehicle at a corner in order to look at the message , ‘Drop by’ the text reads, and it makes Hongbin vaguely wonder if there’s something wrong going on, if maybe some problem had made itself present.

 

‘Something wrong? I’m currently working’ Hongbin quickly text backs.

 

‘Just drop by’

 

Hongbin sighs at the insistent nature of Wonshik’s tone and opens his app to make sure that there is no incoming request before he can ride towards Wonshik’s studio, a flat on a fifth floor in a building that is not that far from one of the city’s most known shopping malls. Wonshik’s job gives him enough money to have a studio of his own, and Hongbin at times does wonder how is it that they still are flatmates.

 

It doesn’t take him that long to arrive and board the elevator, feeling somehow slightly out of place in a building which lift is full of mirrors from ground to ceiling and seeing that he just looks but a regular student on a part-time--which is what he is, yet he stands out even when alone, with just a pair of black jeans and a black oversized shirt he surely doesn’t look like the kind of people who work or have a property here.

 

When he arrives at the fifth floor, he takes a turn to his right side, his feet taking him in the direction of Wonshik’s studio already by memory. It’s a well lit corridor, with a nice view of the city, the shopping mall can be even visualized from there and Hongbin’s mind can’t help but think that Wonshik was born with luck on his side and a strong will to be a hardworking individual. He knocks a couple of times on the door, and when Wonshik doesn’t really reply, Hongbin takes hold of the doorknob and announces himself, “I’m here!” he says as he takes a step in. 

 

He is welcomed, however, by a really elated sight that rushes his way the moment he closes the door behind him and Hongbin crouches to greet that little ball of happiness that Wonshik’s dog is, a french bulldog that seems really eager for Hongbin to give him some affection, “Hello, Eondongie,” he says, taking him in his arms, a light pat on his head as he scans the room, “Can’t you open the blinds? it’s so dark in here” Hongbin mentions, of course it would be dark --Wonshik hasn’t changed the dark purple colour of his walls and all of his black leather couches, and his disco like lighting. Of course it’s dark , “Where is your idiot owner, huh?”

 

“The ‘idiot owner’ heard you all the way here” Hongbin looks up and sees Wonshik standing by the hall, arms crossed over his chest, walking around in very casual sweatpants and a plain white shirt that makes Hongbin scan him as if asking ‘ That’s not mine is it? ’, Wonshik is drying his damp hair and it gives Hongbin the impression that he hasn’t woken up that long ago, “What a way to say good morning”

 

Hongbin looks at his friend, checking to see if there is nothing that is wrong and he furrows his brow some seconds after, “You don’t look like you were pickpocketed, neither like you had been beaten up,” Hongbin mentions, trying to poke fun of him and mess around, “Some dark circles other than that you look fine”

 

“No Sherlock” Wonshik replies, a light slap on Hongbin’s shoulder to retaliate his teasing.

 

Hongbin lets out a small laugh, “Something wrong?”

 

“Not quite--N-not really” he stutters as he averts his eyes from Hongbin’s judgemental gaze.

 

“Wonshik-ah?” Hongbin questions, knowing that the way Wonshik is lightly biting on his lip as if too concerned to be calm is indication of something that is not really ideal, “Did something happen?”

 

“Someone I would say” 

 

Hongbin raises an eyebrow questioningly, a simple action that carries so many meanings with it painted on his visage--it results in being a combination of ‘Not again’ to an actual feeling of curiousity that bubbles up in an instant, “Oh?”

 

“Yes, someone” Wonshik states, taking a seat on one of his leather couches.

 

Hongbin rolls his eyes and instead shifts his gaze towards Eondongie, “He is such a sap, am I right?” he tells the little dog while walking towards another couch, even after he hears Wonshik’s complaint of ‘Leave my Eondongie on the ground!’, and Hongbin complies after petting him on the head. He waits for Wonshik to do the talking, but instead he rises to his feet and leans against one of the purple coloured walls of the place--there is a bit of uneasiness and it doesn't help Hongbin’s rising interest and impatience,  “Well do start, if you called me from my shift to tell me that”

 

Wonshik scoffs, directs his words at Hongbin with mock sarcasm, “Oh--Are you now interested in my love life?”

 

“I could get a laugh out of it,” Wonshik just snorts at the response his friend has given him, and Hongbin knows that no offense has been found in his words and that he can be like this without being judged, “So?”

 

“Jung Taekwoon” Wonshik begins, and it manages to catch Hongbin’s attention almost instantly. It’s not the first time that he has heard the name, in fact, he has heard it more times than he can remember--known as Wonshik’s crush in his book, but there really had been no updates on their situation, only chit chat about how great he is. Just mere mentions in between of what could be possibly be labelled as daydreaming by Wonshik with that silly smile showing in his face as he kept on repeating oh just how amazing Taekwoon hyung was .

 

“You called me here to talk about him?” 

 

“I have decided that I like him, like not just crushing--I mean actually like him” Hongbin stares at him wide-eyed, torn between disbelief and amusement. He thinks Wonshik should know better by now.

 

“You decide that you like a lot of people though”

 

“Not true”

 

“Very true,” Hongbin counters, and perhaps he is exaggerating a bit--yet he is aware that it’s easy for Wonshik to develop crushes on other people or what he defines as such just to then realize that what he has felt is far from actual love, “Not like I keep a list or anything but we have known each other since 5 or 6? nearly two decades” he doesn’t have any ill intentions behind his words, however. Yet the way that Wonshik frowns at him, as if telling him to avoid mentioning those instances, Hongbin can’t help but to make it known, “Don’t give me that look”

 

Wonshik retaliates though, not with anger but with a fact that Hongbin is aware of and while he knows it may prove a point, it still doesn’t fully erase what he has said, “You haven’t been in love” is the complaint, and Wonshik is right, he hasn’t. Hongbin really hasn’t had the chance to feel what that feels like, he is more so a realist in this world--why bring more trouble into his life?

 

“You are in love with love,” Hongbin replies while motioning for Eondongie to come settle on his lap, “You are in love with the idea of being in love”

 

And Wonshik stays silent for some seconds, the only sound tearing the slightly tense atmosphere is the sigh that falls from his lips. The fact that Wonshik has fallen really deeply before is something that can’t be denied, but Hongbin owes this whole crushing issue to Wonshik wanting to feel those emotions again, “So sap, tell me more about your composer friend” Hongbin says, after all, the little he knows about Taekwoon is that he shares the same passion for music as Wonshik, “I’ll stay here until I get a new request on the app so” a little shrug of his shoulders, taking his phone in his hand and browsing through it.

 

It’s not like he wishes a new request would come up, but at times he can’t just stand hearing people talking about love too much, about that feelings that he fears is something that he can’t and won’t ever be able to understand fully. The ringing of lacking the normalcy others indulge in and the reality of having been unable to find the so called other half resulting in the inability to feel that sensation, that fluttering that people talk about.

 

“Perfect timing because,” Wonshik says with his phone on hand, “You’ve just got a request” and Hongbin thinks his best friend is joking but soon enough notices that he really isn’t when his phone turns on, screen bright and looking at him with a notification arriving and taking him by total surprise.

 

“You? Wait did you deceive me to come here?”

 

“Not quite, deceiving you sounds too mean Hongbinnie,” Wonshik says, pacing around the room and rummaging through some stuff on one of the shelves, “I did want to talk about Taekwoon-hyung” 

 

“Other than what I already know?” 

 

“Well, Hongbin, I just think we click well enough” Wonshik explains, bringing down from his shelf a small box, “He is a really lovely person despite having been pretty on the calm side when we met”

 

Hongbin mock gags at the cornyness of his best friend’s words and it makes Wonshik roll his eyes as a response, yet he keeps on explaining--paying no mind to Hongbin’s pleading expression to spare him from the saccharine filled conversation he is trying to hold right now, “So I wanted to, you know, approach him more” he continues, voice holding a sense of softness to it as his mind trails off elsewhere, in a daydream Hongbin cannot visualize, “Maybe see if I have a chance” 

 

“And that box?” Hongbin asks, “What's the grand occasion?” he questions, putting little Eondongie on the floor before standing and up and reaching for the box--noticing the heaviness of it when it’s in his grasp and he can’t help but wonder about its contents, “What’s in here anyway?”

 

“Do you ask that to all the clients that ask you to deliver stuff?”

 

“No, just to your sappy self, I don’t want to get complaints by this guy later” 

 

Wonshik just laughs and shakes his head, “You won’t, trust me” Wonshik says, and Hongbin hopes he won’t--after all, he already has had enough with the client from earlier and her whining about her boyfriend. If Hongbin can avoid more scenes like those, he will gladly do so. Wonshik rubs the back of his neck in visible nervousness and responds though, to feed Hongbin’s curiousity, “You can’t open it but I’m just making sure he has enough coffee”

 

“Coffee?” Hongbin asks, perplexed. He had expected everything else but that.

 

“Yes, coffee, got the finest beans I could find for him”

 

“Are you rich? You never get me anything super expensive” Hongbin complains playfully

 

Wonshik just brushes off his jokes and Hongbin knows that there is a chance that his friend might get back at him after this eventually--yet wishes it’s not with rent of all things, “Yeah, super rich so I invest my money in coffee for my crush”

 

“How cute of you” Hongbin says, lips forming a line that is doing its best to prevent him from breaking into laughter at the expense of his friend. Still though, for a present it is quite something unique to gift someone coffee so Hongbin asks "Is your new guy a coffee addict or what?"

 

“Or what is right” Wonshik says and when Hongbin gives him a look as if he didn't buy his explanation, Wonshik just admits in evident defeat, “Yes, pretty much--How do you think he is awake all night working here”

 

“Oh so he has stayed overnight” Hongbin clings to his friend’s response, a chance to tease can’t ever be avoided, after all, “That’s why you like the place so much and aren’t home at times, huh?” and the sly smile he gives Wonshik is enough to render him into a flustered mess at the implications.

 

“Shut up Lee Hongbin,” Wonshik replies, abashment presenting itself in his tune, showing in different traces of faint pink on his cheeks as he carries Eondongie in his arms-directing his words to the little pet, “Don’t listen to this malicious dude here”

 

“He loves me, shut up” Hongbin says, receiving a small bark as confirmation. There’s a question