no one matters like you.

It's okay to not be fine

 

 

 

1.

 

She was sitting alone in the darkened room, cornered by her own fear. Hugging her knees to her chest, she couldn't stop her mind from buzzing in her head like a nest of wasps. 

 

Everyone knows, your name is everywhere in this damn country. They will dislike you, again, you know this will happen.

 

Will I be kicked out?

 

She tried to swat the thoughts away to no avail. Her phone had been vibrating non-stop, her company, her friends, him. She didn't want to deal with them anymore. Desperately, she wanted to crawl out of her skin and be somebody else.

 

The door of her room was then opened, the light from the hallway outside shone just a tad bit to where she was. She lowered her head, hiding her face against her knees.

 

"I want to be alone," she whispered, hoping anyone who was standing there could hear her and leave.

 

But there was no answer except the sound of the door closing with a gentle click. Behind her closed lids, she could feel the light dissipated, and the room was dark once again. 

 

When the seconds ticked with no other sound audible to her ears, she glanced up, noticing someone had stepped closer to her.

 

"Please leave."

 

She begged.

 

But whoever was there didn't listen.

 

The sweet smell of peach then invaded her senses when the bed creaked underneath her.

 

Shuhua.

 

She tilted her head just slightly, glancing to see, faintly, the silhouette of the younger girl's features, sitting right beside her with her eyes focused on her.

 

"Shu…" her voice was muffled against her arm, "not now."

 

"It's okay," Shuhua whispered, so light and careful that she almost sounded more broken than she was.

 

She could feel the girl's pair of arms wrapping themselves around her curled figure. Despite her resistance, Shuhua shifted closer and pulled her to her warmth.

 

"It's okay," she whispered again.

 

She tried to push her away meekly, but the girl didn't budge an inch.

 

"It's okay," and again, she whispered against the crown of her head.

 

She pushed her once more, trying to get out of her arms, but Shuhua only pulled her closer.

 

With a sigh, she surrendered in her embrace, the warmth radiating from Shuhua's body engulfed her completely. Filled with the scent of her perfume, she felt her heart swell and clench.

 

"It's okay unnie, I'm here." 

 

I hate this. She let go of her knees. Inching even closer, she reached her arms up around Shuhua's smaller body, clutching to her oversized shirt.

 

The younger girl only pulled her tighter as she snuggled to the crook of her neck. 

 

I hate her for this.

 

"It's okay, unnie," with the girl's gentle whispers in the silence of her room, Soojin was holding onto her for dear life and cried in her embrace.


 

2.

 

The living room was filled with gripling tension. The lamps were off, leaving only the light from the TV screen illuminating the room. She was holding tightly onto the blanket that was covering her body, leaning her face as farther away from the screen as possible.

 

On the TV was a scene from the movie Gonjiam. She watched with bated breath as the people on the screen went into the abandoned asylum with nothing but their cameras and flashlights.

 

I can't watch this. 

 

The suspense was a little too overbearing for her cowardice heart, she turned her eyes away from the TV, glancing around the room for distraction. Some of the girls were sitting on the floor, they had their eyes fixed on the screen with anticipation.

 

She turned to look to her left, still wasn't ready to face the movie, why am I sitting in the middle anyway? 

 

She then stiffened in surprise when her eyes met a pair of chocolate brown eyes from the other corner of the couch. Separating them was nothing but a vacant space.

 

Shuhua's lips lifted into a teasing smirk.

 

Rolling her eyes at the smug look, she threw her gaze back to the movie.

 

She didn't even last a minute before tearing her eyes away from it again, wondering how someone could ever enjoy watching such a genre. Her hands then grasped around the couch, searching for her phone to distract her. 

 

After not finding the device, the memory came to her that she had left it in her room to charge. Closing her eyes briefly, she let out a quiet groan.

 

"Scared?"

 

She hadn't realized Shuhua had crawled closer, the smell of her shampoo and body lotion invaded her senses as she whispered in her ears.

 

Soojin almost let out a scream from the shock, her whole body flinched away a little bit.

 

She could hear the younger girl's amused chuckle. Soojin glared at her, lightly slapping her arm as a way to reprimand her.

 

Shuhua's lips were pulled back into a grin resembling a cheshire cat, her eyes sparkling with fondness. Instead of backing away, the girl only snuggled closer, sitting right next to her, thigh to thigh, arm to arm.

 

"It's okay, unnie. The movie won't hurt you," she whispered, the side of her head lightly bumping against hers.

 

Soojin didn't move away, and now their heads were leaning against each other for support. Her eyes were fixed on the screen, but she wasn't exactly watching.

 

"The nightmares will," she whispered back, like they were sharing secrets in the dark.

 

Another light chuckle made its way to her ears, "it's okay, I'll sleep beside you."

 

She couldn't help the upward curves of her lips despite biting her inner cheeks to hold it back. "Who says I want you to sleep beside me?"

 

"Oh, don't be so shy," the girl said, and she could hear the smile on her voice. 

 

"It's okay, unnie, it's just me."

 

She then felt the feather touches from Shuhua's fingers on her hand, inching slowly like a sneaky spider, before she intertwined their fingers together. Soojin rolled her eyes with a foolish smile on her lips in feigned annoyance, even when Shuhua couldn't see her.

 

The movie was still too scary for her liking, but she had Shuhua's hand to hold onto, and perhaps it made her feel slightly better. 

 

The relentless flutter of her heart and in her stomach was also a good distraction.


 

3.

 

Soojin was driven back to her dorm in a sour mood. The v-live hadn't gone great, partly she blamed herself for reading a comment from an anti thinking it was her fans.

 

The embarrassment was crawling under her skin, and just thinking back about it made her blood boil.

 

Lost in her mind, she opened the door to her shared dorm with Miyeon and Shuhua. The sound rang through the space, announcing her arrival to the two quiet dogs in the living room.

 

She untied her shoes with an exhausted sigh, neatly placing them on the shelves. Instead of the small poodles greeting her as usual, there were heavy and hurried footsteps approaching where she was.

 

When she looked up, a flash of green shirt invaded her sight. Before she had known it, she saw Shuhua jumping to her like Haku and Mata did, putting her whole weight on her and clinging onto her like a koala.

 

She shrieked loudly in shock, fumbling forward from the unexpected load, she's heavy alright. They both almost fell down if it wasn't for Shuhua's spontaneous decision to put her feet down and prevented her from planting her face on the floor.

 

Appalled, Soojin slapped the girl's shoulder reprimandingly, "what the hell, Shu?"

 

The sight of Shuhua pursing her lips into a pout made its way to her line of vision.

 

"I watched it. It's okay unnie, you're the most beautiful person I've ever known. That person was just being an ," the younger girl furrowed her eyebrows so hard that they almost met in the middle.

 

"Jeez Shu! Where did you learn that word?!" She gasped, genuinely taken aback by the choice of word. 

 

At this point, she had all forgotten about her sour mood.

 

Shuhua shrugged nonchalantly like it was not a big deal, "Yuqi? Anyway, that's not the point! Come on unnie, it's okay to say it! Be angry!" She stomped her feet to the ground, flailing her arms around like a coach pepping up his team.

 

But the sight of the younger girl being so worked up over it in her favorite green shirt and black adidas shorts was just too silly. 

 

She let out a laugh instead, and the girl immediately looked at her in confusion. 

 

"Let's just forget about it," she settled down with a grateful smile.

 

The younger girl seemed dissatisfied with her reaction, but she huffed out her angry steam in defeat. She didn't seem to notice that she was the reason behind her improved mood.

 

"I ordered a cake," Shuhua said, "to cheer up the most beautiful girl in the world," she winked at her.

 

Soojin felt herself cringing, "stop it." 

 

Shuhua let out a disapproval whine at her negativity and coldness.

 

Chuckling, she ruffled the girl's hair in an uncontained adoration, which she instantly regretted after her hand got in contact with lumps of oil instead, "you need to wash your hair, Shu."

 

"Ah," the girl ducked her head immediately, grinning sheepishly at her, "sorry."

 

Opening the fridge, Shuhua took a box of cake out of the cold, putting it down on the counter carefully. She opened the lid, "ta-dah~" her lips curved into a smile as she showed the written decoration on the chocolate cake to her.

 

JinJin my love is the prettiest! It read.

 

A rush of embarrassment made its way to her cheeks, "seriously? Don't tell me you made the bakery person write it," she narrowed her eyes in disbelief.

 

Shuhua nodded vigorously without an ounce of shame.

 

"Oh my God…" Soojin laughed, finding the absurdity of the situation hilarious. 

 

The younger girl seemed proud for making her tear up from laughing too much, and for once, she was the one who prepared the plates for both of them, and even cut the cake for her (even when it messed the kitchen a tiny bit).

 

Having lived with her for years, sometimes she forgot how idiotic the girl was willing to act if it's for her happiness.

 

And sometimes she forgot that this was the part of Shuhua that Soojin loved so dearly.





 

+1.

 

It was raining heavily outside, she could hear the muffled sounds of thunder striking and the rumble as it hit the ground. 

 

Soojin stirred awake, maybe it was a whole storm going on, and it was getting too loud even for her. She let her eyes stay open, getting used to the darkness of her room as she focused on the line of her ceiling.

 

She then heard another sound coming from outside, not the rain, but thumps of footsteps. She was wondering who else was awake at this hour, and immediately got the answer when her door creaked open.

 

Tilting her head slightly to see, she recognized Shuhua's cowering silhouette closing the door as discreetly as she could.

 

"Shuhua?" She called out gently.

 

The girl jumped in surprise, "o-oh? Sorry unnie, did I wake you?" She asked guiltily, walking closer and crawling to the space next to her.

 

"No," Soojin answered in a hushed whisper, "can't sleep?"

 

Shuhua let out a low hum, snuggling close to her. "It's so loud outside," she mumbled against her shoulder.

 

She's scared. 

 

Maybe Soojin was feeling a little sensitive that particular night, or maybe the thought of Shuhua cowering in fear had tugged on the soft side of her heartstrings. 

 

Nevertheless, she turned to face the younger girl, opening her arms as an invitation. "It's okay. Come here," she demanded, trying not to make her shyness obvious.

 

She knew Shuhua was surprised at the gesture, but the girl didn't waste any second to stick close, hugging her waist and snuggling to her chest like a baby.

 

Soojin hoped the girl wasn't paying attention to the loud thump of her heart.

 

"You smell good, unnie," her small voice was muffled against her shirt.

 

"I wore your gifted perfume," Soojin leaned her head close, her hand absentmindedly played with the strands of Shuhua's smooth, undamaged hair.

 

With the newfound warmth and the comfortable silence settling between them, she started to feel her eyelids dropping heavily.

 

"Mmhm," she noticed Shuhua was getting sleepy too, "I love you, JinJin."

 

Soojin felt her heart fluttered lazily in her chest. 

 

She smiled against the crown of Shuhua's head, planting a fleeting kiss.

 

"I love you too, Shu. Good night."


 

 

 

 

 

 

 






______________

Thank you for reading :)
 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Angel_Jung #1
Chapter 1: Yas queen this is amazing! Really captures their dynamic 👍
justincase_143
#2
Chapter 1: ANDWAE!! I WANT MORE OF THIS!

This is by far the best story I've read of SooShu. Simple plot but really soft. It's heartwarming.
Aizbox
#3
I AIN'T STARVING NO MORE. SOOSHU COME THROUGH!
Blacksleeves
#4
Chapter 1: I'M LIVING FOR THIS WHOLESOME CONTENT!!!
LnKnight11
#5
Chapter 1: My shooshu heart is really thankful...:)
Kindaghei
#6
Chapter 1: This is so heartwarming
keulgisang
#7
Chapter 1: This was so cute, I love it!!
Soojin’s POV are always my favorite, love to read her thoughts and feelings.
You should keep going with this story.