All Heechul had to do was push a door and they were in. The bar was full of monsters and villains just drinking or dancing, some of them fighting each other, and surprisingly no one noticed them entering the place.

Kyuhyun was baffled. “What the hell is this place?”

“It looks like the Mos Eisley Cantina on Tatooine” Hyukjae replied.

“If only Han Solo was here, man” Deadpool sighed.

“I think we should get out of here before they notice us” Leeteuk said. “We’re kind of outnumbered.”

“Just see if you spot Dracula.”

“I don’t even know what he looks like.”

Donghae looked at Leeteuk with his arms open. “He looks exactly like you expect him to look, man! His name is Vlad Dracula!”

“Is that him?” Heechul interrupted, pointing at someone. There was a man with silver hair and a rather outdated outfit sitting on a chair at the bar alone, with a glass of something in his hand. He looked kind of sad and not really dangerous at that moment, to be honest.

“That’s the most pitiful thing I’ve ever seen” Deadpool said. “Almost like Kylo Ren taking his mask off for the first time.”

“Nothing can ever be as pitiful as that” Hyukjae retorted.

“That’s why I said almost”

“Are you going to talk to him?” Yesung asked, interrupting their nerdy talk.

“Might as well” he said, but he just walked a few steps when someone yelled and stabbed his side with a sword. “Motherer!” Donghae screamed. “That hurt!”

“Deadpool!” Hyukjae screamed, and it was a big mistake because now the whole place noticed him. And the rest of the Avengers. “Crap.”

Donghae picked up one of his guns and aimed it at the person who stabbed him. He probably didn’t even know who it was but Hyukjae was sure it was someone who he pissed off at some occasion - like he always did. “You and your friends might wanna get out of here!”

“Like we’d let them” someone else screamed.

“Yeah of course, that would be too easy and why not make the job more difficult for the author of this fanfiction?”

Hyukjae looked around: all the Avengers were already in fight position and basically every villain in that place was ready to fight them. Hell, he even thought he recognized some of them. The only person who wasn’t paying attention to the situation was indeed Dracula. That was kind of weird, but the guy looked like he couldn’t care less if the world was going to end that instant. He just needed to swing safely to him and take the damn key, then they could go run away in a very not-so-heroic style.

In the few seconds that took him to make that amazing plan, a very big guy ran to Yesung to attack him and the spy shot him right in the head. From that moment on, chaos ensued and everyone started fighting. Hyukjae was pretty sure he saw an arm flying above his head, probably cut off by one of Donghae’s katanas. Somehow he didn’t feel like reprimanding him for that.

He started swinging with his webs, trying to avoid swords and people throwing themselves at him, and he finally reached the bar. He landed right in front of Dracula, who didn’t even raise his head to look at him. Hyukjae crouched, trying to make his voice louder through that mess. 

“Hey man” he started, and Dracula still didn’t look at him. “I need you to give me the key back.”

Dracula just raised his shoulders and took the key from his coat. It was big and black and kind of… moldy? “She…”

“What? I can’t hear you, dude.” Hyukjae hoped the guy was quick because looking at the situation in front of him, it didn’t look too good: Deadpool was still shooting at everyone and cutting people’s limbs with his katanas and he wasn’t sure he wasn’t going to accidentally kill one of his teammates at one point; Yesung wasn’t using any guns, meaning he probably was out of bullets, and Kyuhyun kept recovering arrows from people’s bodies because apparently he didn’t have enough. Heechul and Leeteuk kept shrinking and becoming bigger to confuse the villains and there were also a couple of giant ants going around the place.

“She wants to leave me…”

Hyukjae turned his eyes back to him, shocked. So all of this was just because Dracula and Shiklah were going through a marriage crisis? He was so going to kill Deadpool after this.

“That . Can I have that key back now, please?”

“It’s all I’ve left of her…”

Hyukjae sighed. “Look, man. You can find another girl, right? You’re a… pretty y vampire. I guess” he cringed at himself. “I’m sure someone else will love you” and he wasn’t even sure Shiklah really loved him in the first place, but he wasn’t going to tell him that. “Damn, maybe you can get with Deadpool just to piss her off” he whispered, but Dracula wasn’t even listening to him anymore. He was just looking at the key with a sad expression.

Hyukjae put his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe he had to deal with a broken hearted vampire. And he didn’t even have anything to do with the whole thing. 

He could just take the key from his hands but he wasn’t sure how he’d react and they really didn’t need another person to fight right now. He had to be smart about this.

Right in that moment, Donghae landed on the bar next to them. “Are you guys telling each other secrets?”

“Shut up idiot, I’m trying to…”

“I think that's coming with me!” he yelled, and took the key from Dracula’s hands.

Hyukjae didn’t even have time to react because the vampire got up from his seat and punched Donghae so hard he went crashing against the wall. That goes his “being smart about it” plan.

“Give it back”

“It isn’t even yours, !” Donghae yelled, while trying to get up. Right in that moment someone randomly shot him in the arm. “Oh come on!” He took the bullet out and threw it across the room. “You know, Webs? I think half of the bullets that hit me tonight were Black Widow’s”

“I can’t say you don’t deserve it.”

“I’m wounded, Spidey. Like, emotionally.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Shut up!” Dracula yelled, and ran to him so fast they both didn’t even see him before he was right in front of Donghae, punching him in the face again and tearing his mask. It now had a hole that showed his left eye and part of his cheek. 

“Damn it, Vlad” Donghae tried to put the piece of tissue back but it just fell on the ground. “This really isn’t fair.”

Hyukjae looked at Donghae and wondered why he was so upset about the mask. His costume got thorned and dirty all the time and he never really cared about it, but for some reason he really didn’t want to show his face, despite everyone knowing his full name.

Hyukjae didn’t have time to think about it though, so he just webbed Dracula’s hands together to stop him from hitting Deadpool again, and then he webbed his feet too. The vampire fell to the ground screaming, so Hyukjae webbed his mouth too and got closer to Donghae to tell him to get out