Listen to Spell by NIKI while reading this

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it's cold 

 

 

Hyejin thought as she took a seat outside the cafe where Byul asked her to meet. She is not good with this kind of weather. She always preferred the warmth of summer— but she wanted to smoke a cigarette while waiting.

It's not the first time that Byul called her this late, but this is not their usual destination. 

 

-flashback-

 

"calling so soon?" Hyejin asked the woman on the other line 

 

"come over" the woman on the other line replied, frustration evident in her voice.

 

"I ed you that good, huh" Hyejin said with an teasing tone

 

♪ All of the lights are down
But I see right through you, dear♪
 

 

She met this woman at a bar last week. Hyejin was having a stressful night and she just needed to let it all out— to have someone for the night that is.

When her eyes darted to the a woman at the counter, she did not need to ask to know that the woman was struggling in a relationship, her left cheek was still red like someone slapped it.

The woman was drowning herself with alcohol when Hyejin approached her and it did not take long before the woman held her hand and drove them out of the bar. 
 

 

♪ It's silent as we trade mouths
But I hear you loud and clear ♪

 

 

"don't act like I did not make you moan all night too" the woman said with confidence

 

"whatever you say, Byul. I'd just finish something then I'd go there. I'd remind you how you moaned loud under me." Hyejin said before she dropped the call.

 

-end of flashback-

 

 

"how silly of you to think you can handle the weather" Hyejin felt someone put a coat on her shoulder, covering her exposed skin.

 

They spent one too many nights for her not to know who the owner of that voice is.  

 

One too many nights for her to familiarize herself with that scent.

 

One too many nights for her to save the owner of that voice from a sea of sadness and void.

 

One too many nights for her to slowly but surely fall entirely with those hamster like smiles.

 

"do you want?" Hyejin said while motioning at the box of cigarettes on the table 
 

"I'd pass. I ordered you your favorite tea" Byul said as she settled down on her seat. 

Hyejin knew Byul would decline. Byul's girlfriend hated the smell of cigarettes on Byul. It would always spark a fight between the two. 

"My favorite tea?" Hyejin asked curiously

"Chamomile. Hyej, you would always have that in the morning" Byul replied teasingly. 

Hyejin did not think Byul would notice that. When their meetings became frequent, Hyejin would spend the night at Byul's apartment and she would always answer chamomile tea when Byul ask her what she wants for breakfast.



Byul did not have the tea at first but Hyejin noticed the woman bought a box of chamomile tea the morning after another one of their late night meetings.

"how are you doing, Hyej?" sincerity was evident in Byul's voice. Hyejin did not answer immediately, she just looked away as she inhaled the poison in

 

"Why do you care?" Hyejin finally replied

 

"I thought we already talked about this?" Byul asked

 

"I'm sorry I forgot my place for a moment there" Hyejin replied sarcastically

 

She knew Byul was sincere when she asked her how she was doing. But was she supposed to admit that she's hurt and she did not know how to get over her feelings?
 

Their late night meetings ended half a year ago and it wasn't exactly a good ending for the both of them. Byul's girlfriend caught them ing in the kitchen one morning.

 

 

-flashback-

Hyejin was lying on her bed, just switching up from side to side. It's a lazy afternoon and she knows it's crazy but she found herself missing Byul. Whatever's going on between them she knows it's temporary, or is it?

"you ing idiot" Hyejin muttered to herself. She's having her hopes up again. Having her hopes up that Byul will break up with Solar and will choose to be with her. 

Runaway with me Hyejin carelessly typed on her phone.
 

"to send or not to send" she repeatedly said.
 

 

"to send or-" as if the woman she was supposed to send the message to heard her, Hyejin's phone buzzed and she almost dropped the phone on her face
 

 

I'm outside your apartment the message she just received said

 

Hyejin got up from her bed and hurriedly peeked on her window. When she saw that Byul was indeed outside her apartment she panicked but still managed to reply to the woman.

 

WHY?  Hyejin replied and sent nervously. She's gonna lie if she denied that she's been waiting for Byul to message her to come over but it's the first time that Byul was to one to come over to her place.

 

Runaway with me?  Hyejin blinked slowly and slapped both her cheeks. Is she dreaming? is Byul really asking her to runaway?

 

Million of thoughts are running through her mind but she saw how Byul seem to lose patience while waiting outside so she just replied a simple give me 5 minutes and proceeded to fix herself.

 

"a rose for you" Byul said with a smile as she handed Hyejin the flower

"what the is this for?" Hyejin said but she had a faint smile when she accepted the flower. The smile did not go unnoticed and Byul just smirked and open the door of the car for her.

 

"where are you taking me? You seem to be preparing for a long drive" Hyejin asked after Byul got in the car. They stopped by a gas station and got the car on full tank.
 

"I told you we are running away" Byul said as if it's the most normal thing to reply considering their situation


"like you can ever do that to your girlfriend" Hyejin said almost too seriously. Byul noticed what Hyejin meant and just chose not to respond.


 

"Hyej, wake up, we're here" Hyejin slowly blinked and saw Byul waking her up while leaning a little too closely to her.

 

Too close for her to easily pull the other woman to a kiss.

"We can save that for later" Byul said playfully and broke the kiss 
 

"It's beautiful here" Hyejin said in almost like whisper. Byul brought her to a place she could just imagine to be away from the city. They are in an open field and flowers of sorts sat everywhere, the sun beautifully reflects on the place as it sets.


"You once told me you love nature. I can't exactly bring you to a forest so I thought an open field is close enough?" Byul said while chuckling. They both decided to lie on the grass but Hyejin's head was lying on Byul's chest.


"you remembered that? I thought you would remember how I make you moan" Hyejin replied while laughing.


Hyejin chose to just reply with a joke but if she were going to be true to her feelings, her heart melted and ached at the same time. She is happy to be here in this moment with the woman she loves, if she can even call what she feels as love. Would loving someone who belong to someone else valid? Her heart ached at that thought, here she is lying with that woman in this beautiful place, enjoying the breeze and beautiful sunset, but Hyejin also feel Byul a thousand miles away from her. You're so close yet so far Hyejin thought to herself as she hugged Byul tighter, she knows Byul will never be hers.
 

 

"will you stay the night?" No was the last thing that Hyejin could answer to the woman beside her. Here they are, back at their usual destination — at Byul's bed. 

 

 

Byul drove them back to the city, and surprised Hyejin with a dinner at her place. It wasn't just a normal dinner as Byul said, and true to her words, she welcomed Hyejin to an indoor tent filled with fairy lights. Hyejin almost cried when she saw the set up and when Byul said it is her version of bringing Hyejin to a camping in the forest. But she cannot let Byul see how she's inevitably falling so she just chose to seal their lips with a kiss which eventually lead them into forgetting about dinner and ending up into each others body, ing like it's their last.

 

 

"we ed too much tonight so I guess I would stay" she replied. All of these are a big mistake but what can Hyejin do? she fell hard for Byul and she doesn't know how to pick herself up, she didn't want to pick herself up.

 

Byul did not reply and just nuzzled her face closer to Hyejin's neck

 

"why are you crying? You feel little beside your miss perfect girlfriend again?" Hyejin noticed the tears that suddenly flowed out from Byul's eyes so she cupped the woman's face softly and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

 

Byul just nodded and continued to cry as Hyejin continued to her hair.

It's never odd to Hyejin how their late night sessions ended up with her consoling Byul's broken heart. This has become a routine for them, and the very reason why Hyejin gets her hopes up that Byul will eventually break up with Solar, then maybe after then Byul will choose to be with her.

 

"I will never pressure you to be someone better because you're already amazing" Hyejin said but Byul was already deep in slumber to give her a reply
 

 

 

♪ You don't even have to try
I'll stay through mighty swings
You'll say, "All the stakes are high"
Well baby that's why we've got wings ♪



 

"BYUL?!" Solar shouted that made Hyejin and Byul pull away from their kiss. 
 

Hyejin decided to cook breakfast for Byul to thank the woman for the surprises she did yesterday. But, Byul woke up really clingy and one kiss lead to another until they're fully making out in the kitchen.
 

"Yong, let me explain-" Byul was cut off from speaking when Solar slapped her in the face.
 

Hyejin stood there full of hope, they had this day coming but she thought maybe fate will favor her, right? maybe Byul and Solar will break up, maybe Byul will stand up for them, for her.



But those are just what ifs, and the apologetic look that Byul is wearing when their eyes met is like a knife slowly tearing Hyejin's heart.



Hyejin did not wait for Byul to explain, she just gathered her things and stormed out of the room. She cannot bear to hear Byul tell her that it was all over, that look on Byul's face was enough to put Hyejin at her place, to push her out of the picture she wasn't even part of in the first place.

 

Byul called a month after that morning, apologizing for everything that has happened, explaining how she's working things out with Solar, and of course Hyejin just faked a laugh and told her it was all in the past and they should all move forward and forget what happened.



Hyejin just faked a laugh because she knows Byul has been doing well in her relationship, doing so well that when Hyejin saw Byul and Solar in a restaurant, Byul did not even see her, Byul did not see anyone but Solar. 
 

-end of flashback-

 

"Hyej" Byul said softly

"Yong and I talked about this. She decided to put everything in the past long ago and she wanted to apologize to you properly. I know we did not start off at the right side of things, but you were there for me, Hyej. You made me appreciate life when I was all tired and broken" Byul continued

 

Hyejin remembered everything, how they would talk about life after some rounds of ing, how she would make Byul smile after a bad day. Hyejin swore she and Byul could have worked out better, she would never pressure Byul to be perfect because Byul is amazing just as she is. But why should fate play her so dirty like this? It was wrong for her to secretly hope for them to be caught by Solar but maybe she ran short in hoping that Byul will choose her when it all fall down.

 

 

"Please take this to a careful consideration, Hyej. I hope to see you." Byul handed Hyejin an envelope, and kissed her forehead before leaving.

 

 

 

Hyejin opened the envelope after Byul left.
 

 

She held the paper close to the cigarette then tossed it in the bin. The words started to burn as tears from Hyejin eyes started to fall.

 

Moon Byul Yi and Kim Yongsun invite you to witness the celebration of their marriage

 

♪ I know you don't fall and tell
But darling I know you too well
You don't think that heaven's real
So I'll love you 'til it hurts like hell
'Til God breaks this spell ♪