thank you mimbora for the story cover ♡

HYOJUNG. 

Choi Hyojung, a good student leader. She's used to making decisions and she makes sure that she never regrets all of it.

Hyejin has been Hyojung's schoolmate since middle school.  They hit it off the first time they talked and became good friends. They weren't in the level where they call each other as 'bestfriends'. The two just happened to meet from time to time because they were on the same school organization until they graduated highschool. Hyojung only knows mild information about Hyejin. Also, she's aware of Hyejin's dating background. The girl is famous among boys.

Hyejin is a mom-girl. Her mom was an active member of the school's parent-teachers' organization. She was always there to pick up and send Hyejin to school. Hyejin is usually quiet but sometimes, Hyojung sees her laughing and playing jokes with her friends. They're in the same age, but never in the same class. Til now, Hyojung still wondered how she never got to be on the same class as Hyejin. 

There was one time when their org went to a membership training and that's when Hyojung felt that she's become closer to Hyejin. It's not like she's been waiting for that moment, it just happened and it was a good experience. Hyejin turned out to be a good cook, they grilled meat together, talked about random school stuff. Hyojung also learned that Hyejin has an older brother. Good for her, Hyojung is the eldest in her family while Hyejin is the youngest. Maybe that's why her mom has been protective of her. 

On their last year in highschool, Hyojung met Seunghee, a transferee. The younger girl wanted to join their org and Hyojung and Hyejin happened to be one of the high ranked officials of the school org by that time. Seunghee was too witty, and loud, and she really managed to pull out Hyojung's crack side. The two became close, and continued talking even when Hyojung went to college. Seunghee plays a big role in the progress of Hyojung's relationship and interactions with Hyejin.

College, one of Hyojung's most anticipated moment was on her first day. She really likes it when she's being challenged by changes. She loves it when has to adjust to the new surroundings, people, or system. She's just a normal student since then, she studies for her own good, does her assignments to get good grades just like any other students. 

Around the 3rd week of her freshman days, she happened to see Hyejin once when she's on her way to the library. The girl looked busy when Hyojung sat across her, hoping she'd remember her. That moment, Hyojung wore her cheekiest smile, she didn't know why but seeing Hyejin got her too excited.

"Hey." Hyojung says softly, since she has to be quiet. Hyejin looked at the girl. After a minute or two, Hyejin looked shocked, realising it was Hyojung. 

"Hey! You study here too. It's nice to see you here." Hyejin smiled wide as Hyojung nodded, giggling as she leaned on the table.

"You seem busy, which class are you in?" 

Turns out Hyejin and Hyojung are taking the same program, but as usual, they weren't classmates. They went straight to cafeteria after Hyejin finished her assignment and Hyojung waited for her. Hyejin told her that she's having a hard time with one of their subjects so she stays in the library a lot to study. Hyojung has always been a good and caring friend to everyone. She does everything she could to help her friends, or even just her classmates. The thing is, she should be as confident as she always was but talking to Hyejin and asking the girl if she could be some help became a little hard for her.. for some reasons.

"So does it mean that you'll study later after your last class?" Hyojung asked as they walked out of the cafeteria, Hyejin is holding her book on her right arm while her other hand is on her sling bag. It's almost time for her to go to her last subject and Hyojung should too. 

"Umm.." Hyejin checked her phone before giving a smile to Hyojung. Hyojung thought that it'd be her chance to ask the girl to study with her but,

"As much as I want to, my mom wants me to meet Jinyoung later, remember him?" Yes. Ofcourse. Hyojung remembers he's the top student from Hyejin's class back in highschool. Also Hyejin's ex boyfriend, as Hyojung could remember. 

"Oh of course! Take care Hyejin.." Hyejin pats her shoulder once before turning to the hallway on their right which must be where her next class is. It seemed to be a big deal for Hyojung that she couldn't ask Hyejin to study with her. 

"H-Hyejin!" There was a little change in the atmosphere as Hyejin looked back at her. She's.. she's pretty. Hyojung has known Hyejin for how many years already but just.. today, she's been captivated. Which is scary.

"Yeah?" Hyejin asked from where she's standing, Hyojung should've walked closer to the girl but she's stuck in her position and could only yell back, "This weekend.. Do you want to study with me?" 

They meet from time to time, they even go out for a meal when they have to review for exams. In short, they became study buddies, nothing personal. Should be.. But Hyojung started noticing things about Hyejin she knows she shouldn't. She started to understand why many people adores her. She is deadly straight charming. Deadly as Hyojung knows she shouldn't be fantasizing about Hyejin when they're technically.. just friends, but much closer now. Straight because obviously, Hyejin is into boys. Hyojung had no idea why she got herself into this trouble but she's becoming more invested with Hyejin the more they hang out together. 

On their third year, they finally met a few good friends. It started when Hyojung found a cellphone on a table in the library on the first day of classes in that academic year. She tried to check if there's any hint of information about the owner of the phone. The lockscreen wallpaper is just a random photo of a flower, which Hyojung already expected. There were nothing but the time and the passcode entry section. She kept it and was about to send it to the student affairs when the phone rang. 

It wasn't the owner of the phone but a friend. The girl on the opposite line said that a freshman named Yubin owns it. They agreed to meet at the cafeteria. Hyojung had to ask for time adjustments on the meeting since she has classes. She first passed the copy of her grades on the scholarship office because it's how her scholarship contract goes; she has to maintain a passing grade and pass it to the office. Finally, she got her free time to meet the owner of the phone.  

She ran her way to the cafeteria, it wasn't that far from her professor's office. There were a lot of students passing by her since it's around 5 PM, most students just got dismissed. 

Hyojung looked at the students inside, where was the table earlier again? Ah! There, but there were a number of students sitting there. Maybe they're the owner's friends? Hyojung checked her appearance first for a second and made sure she's smiling wide before walking straight towards the table. She still has a lot of paperworks to do, she shouldn't waste her time with this but it won't be nice to not return the phone. She opened her backpack as she went close to the table. 

"Hello, is there a girl named Yubin here?" Hyojung asks while holding her bag. She looked at them and, there were two familiar faces. Seunghee and Hyejin. Hyojung smiled wide, the two greeted her and invited her to join them. 

There, Hyojung met Yubin and Jiho. Yubin said she lost her phone after she went to the library and that's when Hyojung found it. It was Jiho who called her and Seunghee introduces the two as her classmates in one of their Gen Ed subjects.  Hyejin just happened to pass by and Seunghee grabbed the poor busy girl with them. It may seem that Hyojung has always been smiling but as Hyejin pulled her to sit next to her, she had to try her best not to look like a fool with a happy heart because she's sitting with her crush.. She wanted to excuse herself when she already had returned the phone to Yubin but Seunghee wouldn't stop telling stories. And.. she's enjoying sitting with Hyejin like this even when they're almost always with each other for two years now. 

Anyway, it was worth it. The next days, Hyojung found herself meeting these girls every lunch time. Jiho introduced Mimi to them one time, Mimi was a province girl so she doesn't know much about the city while Yubin invited  a girl named Yooa to join them. Hyojung finds it exciting, just right. She has new friends on her third year, it wasn't late. She didn't really expected this but here it is. 

"You've been busy all day." Hyejin said as she joined Hyojung on the kitchen sink, helping her with the dishes. Hyojung smiled, she loves taking care of her friends. They're currently at Yubin.. and Arin's villa. Arin is Yubin's sister who is pretty sure a part of their group now.

"Weirdly, I love doing these stuff." Hyojung admits to herself being a mom friend. She heard her friends talking about that personality of hers too.

Hyejin stopped for a moment and glanced at her. "So you must be excited to have a child." 

"What?" Hyojung bursted out laughing while Hyejin remained a blank face, almost confused. Hyojung cleared as she slowly moved on from laughing.

"I mean.. yeah, I would love children but I don't know if I'll be marrying a guy anyway." Hyejin giggled beside her after she said that. Hyojung pouted at the girl.

"Why are you giggling?" Hyojung asks, taking a small towel to dry her hands.

Hyejin takes the towel from her and dried their hands together, this way they're even holding each other's hands.

"It means you like girls."

Because of their group, her relationship with Hyejin got more personal, they became real buddies. Their planned study sessions happened more often, she even stayed on Hyejin's place overnight most of the time. They've grown closer than ever, and more dangerously closer for Hyojung to fall in love with the girl.. or maybe I already did. Hyejin would even bring homemade lunch every Saturdays and they'll eat at the rooftop. 

At first, Hyojung thought they'll be with the others but when she reached the rooftop, Hyejin was the only one waiting there.

"Did you prepared all these?" Hyojung asks when she got there the first time she was invited. Hyejin smiled and nodded, saying she was bored so she cooked a lot and she wants to share it with Hyojung. That lunch /date/ was a memorable one. Hyejin's cooking got a lot better and Hyojung could say she really had put a lot of effort in cooking these. If she didn't know that Hyejin has a boyfriend, she would think that it was a real date. 

"Are you meeting Jinyoung again later?" Hyojung asked and Hyejin laughed at her before answering.. or asking as well.

"Why do you keep asking about him? Do you like him?" Hyojung glared at Hyejin. It's like an everyday routine for Hyejin to tease Hyojung a little and she'd end up laughing all day. Jiho, and their other friend are worse than Hyejin because Hyejin's teasing is not even that funny but she just kept laughing at everything.. which is actually cute. 

"You know I'd never like him." Hyojung said as she takes a sip from the bottled water.

"Right, because you're into pretty girls like me." Hyojung pouted, It was true though, she already told Hyejin that she's into girls where she actually hoped Hyejin would get a hint about her feelings but everything's not going according to what Hyojung wants. 

"You really think I'm into you?" Hyojung smiled wide, please please say yes.

Hyejin shook her head. "Nope.. But I'd be jealous whoever your future girlfriend would be." 

Why won't you consider yourself, Hyejin?

It was memorable, because that was also the first time Hyojung couldn't handle her excitement while talking to Hyejin. She had that weird feeling in her stomach when she had to stare at Hyejin while listening to her stories and rants about her major classes. The food was good, it really was. But Hyojung thinks being with Hyejin made it much better. Am I really falling in love? Hyojung didn't know it would be this bad, at first it was okay for her to have a crush on Hyejin but.. she feels that it's getting deeper and it scared her.

Whatever Hyojung felt that day bugged her for the next days. So she talked to Yooa about it, since she's the only one in the group who wouldn't make a fuss about this. 

"Butterflies in your stomach." Yooa says after listening to Hyojung. They were in Yooa's dorm, Hyojung came to her place after her major class just to tell her about her little concern. 

"Y-yes! I know that." Hyojung huffed, blowing through her bangs.

"So.. what should I say then?" Yooa asks, removing her specs as she looks at her whining friend. 

"I don't know if it's a good thing that I feel this way." Hyojung sighed. She's just worried about herself. 

"Why though? I know you focus a lot on studying but, think of this as a comfort activity. You need to atleast wind up with your study stresses."

It should be that easy. Only that it's the complete opposite of what happened next. Her studies became her comfort activity while Hyejin became her stress. It was one time they're at Hyejin's room and Hyojung already finished her report while the poor Hyejin seemed to be distracted because of the continuous notifications from her phone. Hyojung who was sitting on Hyejin's bed stood up annoyed. She took Hyejin's phone and turned it off. 

Hyejin chuckled. "Thanks for that, he won't stop." Hyojung scoffed as she plopped back to the bed that's already familiar to her body because she already slept here a lot.

"Why didn't you turn it off by yourself then?" 

"Because, I didn't want to lie to him and tell him that you took my phone when you didn't so I waited for you to do it." Hyejin answeres reasonably. The other girl can't help but just accept what just happened. Hyejin cleaned her table and joined Hyojung on the bed.

"Aren't you supposed to finish your report?" Hyojung asked as she turned to her right to face Hyejin. The girl slightly shook her head, closing her eyes and hugging Hyojung who's suddenly turned stiff. Hyejin seemed to notice it.

"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think that you're jealous of Jinyoung and," What? Wh- wait It's normal for a friend to be annoyed when your friend's boyfriend kept texting her. I shouldn't panic.

Hyejin hugged her tighter. "And that you like me." Hyejin chuckled a little. "Jokeee." The girl giggled and Hyojung had to force herself to unstiffen her nervous body and chuckle along with Hyejin. 

You didn't know better, Hyejin.

"Tell him that I don't want a third party when you're studying with me." Hyojung blurted out, she tried her best to make it look like a joke. Hyejin hummed, nodding against her shoulder. Jinyoung wasn't Hyejin's boyfriend. Hyejin told her that he's technically courting her again and her parents are the promoter. Somehow, it felt unfair for Hyojung. She wants a chance with Hyejin too..

"Fiiiiine, I'm yours when we're in this room. Sounds good?" 

God it felt heaven. Hyojung wished they'd stay in Hyejin's room forever but she was reminded that it's just normal for bestfriend to say these words. She just hoped Hyejin would understand what she feels right now. What if Hyejin actually feels the same as her, right? Haha, that's Hyojung's fantasy. 

Their friends developed feelings for each other, like Mimi and Yooa. Hyojung wonders if it's possible for her and Hyejin to be like them.. soon. Maybe once Jinyoung isn't around anymore. But the guy, Jinyoung, is as much as a perfect guy. He's talented, smart, good-looking. And Hyejin's parents seem to like him. They like Hyojung too, as Hyejin's bestfriend. How nice. 

Hyojung and Hyejin are walking on the street back to Hyojung's apartment. semester break is coming in two days and Hyojung has to clean her room before she goes back to her hometown for the week. Hyejin came with her. 

Hyojung paused before opening her room's door. "I thought you have to meet Jinyoung today? I told you, I'll clean my room and-"

"I want to be with you, okay? Open your door now." Hyejin commanded her. It's not that Hyojung don't want Hyejin to stay with her today but at this rate, she'll just miss Hyejin once she goes back to her home. Hyejin has been whining about the sembreak for days now. She kept saying that Hyojung should just stay at her apartment, or even in her house. Hyojung appreciates that Hyejin wants her to stay but.. it's getting harder for her.

"What are you even planning to clean here? It's already tidy." Hyejin pouted and sat on Hyojung's couch. Hyojung ignored her and went to her room to start packing her clothes. 

Hyejin followed her. "We're graduating next sem." The girl said as she entered Hyojung's room. 

Hyojung nodded while folding her clothes. They are, Hyojung stilll hasn't planned on what she'd do. She's thinking of opening a cafe near the campus because it'd be a good place for business but she's also thinking of asking Hyejin if she wants to do it with her.

"I don't wanna get busy." Hyejin stated and Hyojung laughed at the girl. 

"Ya, stop studying then so you won't graduate and be busy." Hyojung opened her suitcase and started putting her stuff inside it.

"Mean, it's because I'll miss you once you're busy." Hyejin said and sat across Hyojung. Hyojung stopped what she was doing and looked at Hyejin.

"If you will keep saying that, I'll just marry you then." She joked. Not really a joke.

Hyejin chuckled. "Sure, marry me?" 

Sometimes, Hyojung thinks of telling Hyejin that she likes her at least because of all these actions Hyejin has been doing to her, she's doubting their relationship. Is it really just friendship? But then, when she looks back to all the moments they shared together, all the quizzes and exams they had to stay up for, the requirements and deadlines they finished together, those times they comforted each other for failing some tests, incomplete reports, but also, good grades in the end because they both did their best to always get back in track, together. 

She threw a pillow towards Hyejin.

"Shut up. I'm thinking of starting a cafe business. You can work with me if you want." 

Hyojung saw the prettiest smile from Hyejin when she said that. She didn't expect Hyejin to be that happy that Hyejin threw herself into Hyojung on the bed for a hug.

In the end, they cuddled. Is this still normal? Hyojung's heart is more than bothered now, she's scared she might just say things she shouldn't say when Hyejin is being this close to her.

"Come back to me, single and smiley." Hyejin said. Hyojung smiled, pulling away from Hyejin.

"Are you serious? I'll just be away for a week and you think I'll get a girlfriend?'

"I'm serioooous! Don't get a girlfriend until I get married." Hyojung laughed, she doesn't know why Hyejin is being like this but she hopes she can just marry the girl instead.

They graduated. Sadly, they couldn't celebrate together because they're with their families but they didn't stop texting all night. Hyojung woke up with a heavy head. Maybe it was because of her lack of sleep.

"Hyojung! Hyejin is here!" Her father called.

That day was what made Hyojung decide that she wants to keep liking Hyejin. Even if it risks her heart.

"Why are you here so early?" Hyojung asked as she sat next to Hyejin on the couch. Her family is busy at the kitchen, preparing for their lunch. Hyojung hasn't even showered yet, she just washed her face and ran to see her visitor.

"I want to celebrate my graduation with my study buddy." Hyejin took her hand and they held each other's hand. Hyojung smiled, why is she being like this.

"Funny, I want to be with you today too." Hyojung responded, and Hyejin pinched her cheek. Should I tell her?

"I want to tell you something-" 

"Let's eat, Hyejin!"

Hyojung and Hyejin started their business together. Their families supported them anyway, although Hyejin's parents initially wanted her to do something else. Their friends helped them too. Seunghee and Yubin came with them to buy stuff for their cafe.

"I was actually scared you guys would want to go home after buying all these stuff without feeding me for my service fee." Seunghee says as she places the tray of their meal down on the table. They stopped by at Burger King to eat because Seunghee keeps whining about her hunger and tiredness. And Hyojung noticed that Hyejin is tired from all the shopping they did too.

After they set their food, Seunghee sat next to her. Hyojung looked at Hyejin across her and smiled as she watched Hyejin eating. Hyojung took a bite on her burger then faced Seunghee while chewing, she paused for a while as she spoke. "Seunghee, Yubin isn't even complaining if Hyejin and I would just thank her."

Hyojung waited for Seunghee to respond to her but the girl gave her tissue. Hyojung realized there was a little sticky ketchup on the corner of her lips. She was about to take it but Hyejin offered her a tissue as well. She gulped as she watched how Hyejin looked at Seunghee. Seunghee on the other hand just grinned. 

In the end, Hyojung took both tissue napkins. 

Hyejin, do you like me like I like you?

Hyojung and Hyejin stood next to each other as they look around their now well-designed cafe. Hyojung looked back at all the things she did just to finally finish studying, and now she's about to start her working years. With Hyejin.. This time, she takes Hyejin's hand and grinned. 

"I think it's warmer than I imagined it would be." 

"Nah, it's cute for me. It's like.."

"Like home?" 

Hyejin chuckled and nodded at her. "Baby." Hyejin muttered. 

Hyojung was confused for a moment, her heart skipped a beat at the sudden mention of that cringe-worthy for Hyejin word, b-baby? 

"This cafe is our baby, ours. It isn't your room or mine anymore, starting today, our place would be this cafe." 

Hyojung felt Hyejin holding her hand. They looked at each other and exchanged smiles. Should I just tell her now?

"Helloooo."

Oh yeah, Mimi's timing. Just in time, Mimi really had to cut her off. Hyojung only realized their friends have arrived now. Hyojung sat next to Yubin while Hyejin sat next to Yooa. They set the grand opening for their group only that's why they gathered here. Hyejin gave her a hug first, whispering. "Let's talk later." 

Hyojung nodded and pulled away, they made their way to their friends.

Hyojung has been thinking about it a lot. She would tell Hyejin that she likes someone right now and she'd decide whether to continue her admiration towards her bestfriend according to how Hyejin would react.

"Hey, how's today?" Hyejin asked as she entered the kitchen. Their friends already left and they stayed to clean up, hah.. manager things..

"It's fun, and somehow I'm nervous for tomorrow because we'll be getting real customers." Hyejin gave her a smile before walking closer to Hyojung. She hugged me. Hyojung blushes as she hugged Hyejin back. She's actually sweating a little but Hyejin seem to not mind. 

"You okay?" She asked her softly, lightly patting Hyejin's back. Hyejin nodded.

"Thank you so much, for this, for everything." They continued the hug. Hyojung thought, would it be the right time to tell Hyejin?

"What is it?" Hyejin asked her as they pull away, the girl's still holding her hand.

"I like someone right now." Hyojung said with a smile but Hyejin's eyebrows furrowed.

"What? Don't kid like that." Hyejin pouted and turned around to remove her apron. Hyojung followed her.

"I- You're not happy?" 

"Yeah." 

Hyojung is confused. Is this it? Will she tell me she's jealous?

"It means your time with me will lessen-"

"But I love you, Hyejin."

Hyejin didn't answer for a minute. That's it, she said it. Her body felt hotter than ever, her skin feels cold and it was so weird because she's too nervous. Hyojung for a moment regrets her sudden outburst but,

"I knoooow, I love you too but it would lessen our time together." 

See? This situation is completely ridiculous. Hyojung felt upset that she decided to just leave Hyejin in the cafe. Hyojung had confessed, for deer goth. Nothing happened. The next day, she completely forgot about being nervous because of work but she wanted to keep avoiding Hyejin for the time being. Hyejin called her a few times last night but maybe she figured that Hyojung doesn't want to talk. It took them weeks before Hyejin had enough and had to force Hyojung to talk to her.

"Hyojung, please talk to me." Hyejin stopped her from going out of the cafe after they finished cleaning one evening.

"JinE.. Not now, okay?" 

But Hyejin didn't let her. Hyojung looked at Hyejin's hand on her arm. She sighed and takes the girl's hand. She can't continue being like this. She can't continue liking Hyejin anymore when the girl clearly had built a friendship boundary around them. It's a mistake thinking that Hyejin feels something for her too.

"I mean it, I like you, not because we're friends. And it's so hard because you're clingy to me and I don't have the rights to complain because we're bestfriends but.. it's so hard." 

Hyojung couldn't look at Hyejin in the eyes as she said those words. She's aware of what this would cause their friendship but she's too riled up right now and she can't take it anymore.

Hyejin opened to talk but she stopped when someone entered the cafe. Jinyoung. 

"You girls done for today?" Jinyoung asked as he walked towards them, Hyojung had to let go of Hyejin's hand.

"Yeah, Actually we're heading home." Hyejin said as they take their bags. Jinyoung offered to help closing the cafe.

"I'll drive for you two." Jinyoung is too nice. He's always been nice and that's what Hyojung hates the most. Why can't he be rude sometimes? That way Hyojung won't need to hate him unreasonably. The fact that Jinyoung and Hyejin are still not official until now makes Hyojung feel at ease. At least right now, she's still in the same level as Jinyoung.

Hyojung shook her head and forced a smile. "I'm going to my apartment later." 

"No, she's staying at my house tonight. You'll drive?" Hyejin held Hyojung's hand, not too hard, just enough to keep Hyojung next to her. Jinyoung willingly drove for them.The whole ride was just Jinyoung trying to catch up with Hyejin. Hyojung wasn't interested in listening to the two talking until Jinyoung mentioned something that bothered her so much.

"Has your father decided about our wedding date?" 

Wedding? Hyojung glanced at Hyejin who looked like she didn't expect the question as well. Hyejin never mentioned about a wedding..

"I thought he's just courting you?" Hyojung asked as soon as they entered Hyejin's room. She didn't want to come here. She didn't want to stay with Hyejin tonight. She didn't want to sit on Jinyoung's car. She didn't want to listen to Jinyoung's voice. And lastly, she didn't want to hear about Jinyoung and Hyejin getting married. She didn't want anything of these but Hyejin brought her here. 

God.. Hyojung felt frustrated than ever.

"He was.." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hyojung sat down on the floor, leaning on the wall by Hyejin's door. She wants to scream out all the frustrations in her body right now. All this time, she thought it's okay to keep liking her because she's not dating Jinyoung yet, but this.. suddenly..? Marriage? Hyojung understands that it's okay to get married because they're already adults. But, .

"I'm sorry-" Hyejin apologized, walking closer to her with a frown on the face. You're probably thinking that I'm just being a bestfriend again but you don't understand, Hyejin.

"No- It's not your fault. I made a mistake." Hyojung covered her face with her hands as she crouched on the floor. Hyejin kneeled across her. 

"Hyojung, please calm down."

"No! I can't! I just.. I thought I have a chance.." Hyojung muttered against her hands. Hyejin held her wrists to look at her face. Hyojung avoided her gaze.

"I-I knew what you felt.. and I didn't say anything. I'm sorry." Hyojung pulled her hands off of Hyejin's. Now, she looked at the girl with a question. 

"Then," It was like there's a stone stuck in Hyojung's throat she wants to say something. She's on the verge of crying, she feels like a kid complaining about her favorite toy. If she decides to say those words in her mind, what would happen? And what if Hyejin avoids her forever? 

Hyojung heaved a deep sigh before looking down on the floor, hugging her knees.

"C-can I be selfish right now?"

Hyejin stared at her. Hyojung wants her to speak. She wants to know what those actions are for, was it all just for friendship? After a few minutes of trying to keep herself from crying, she knows Hyejin is still there kneeling across her. I should just go. I can't stay here. 

As soon as Hyojung raised her head, she saw Hyejin leaning towards her, closer to her face until she feel the girl's lips against hers. Hyejin's eyes were closed and she's smiling. Hyojung coudn't manage to hold back her tears anymore. Does it mean..? What does this mean?  

Hyejin pulled away while Hyojung hasn't calmed down, even a bit. Hyejin just kissed her. What does it mean?

"Why did you do that?" She asked her. Hyejin gave her a small smile and a kiss on her forehead. 

"I showed you what it means to be selfish." 

"Is it some sort of arranged marriage?" Hyojung asked as they laid on Hyejin's bed. Both of them are staring the ceiling, what happened earlier is in need of discussion. 

Hyejin denied it, which disappointed Hyojung. "I agreed to it, I really liked him." Hyojung understands anyway. After all, she knows Jinyoung was really flawless. She wouldn't blame him. What she wants right now is an explanation from Hyejin. 

"At first.. I didn't know I would end up falling for you." Hyejin confessed. "I know.. It's selfish of me knowing there's Jinyoung waiting, but I can't help it. I got addicted by having you next to me." 

Hyojung hasn't said a word. All this time, she wanted to hear Hyejin telling her that she felt the same all along but why does this have to be this complicated?

"I liked you.. since the day I asked you to study with me." Hyojung closed her eyes before continuing. "I was cautious. I knew it would be so hard. But all along I've been so selfless. I loved the feeling you've been giving me"

"Loved? Past tense?" 

"Hyejin, please."

"I would kiss you again if it means to make you feel better but I won't." Hyejin turned to face Hyojung. "I want you to know that I would kiss you like I did earlier because I have feelings for you." 

Hyojung sat up and wiped the tears that were starting to build up again. She clasps her hands together and stared at them. I want to tell her that I want her. I want to be your girlfriend, Hyejin.

"You wouldn't choose me, right?" Hyejin didn't answer. Somehow, it feels like Hyojung can understand her.

"I had the chance earlier.. but once I go out of this room, I could never do it again."

Hyejin isn't selfish enough to choose her. 

"Then.. Make me the bad guy." Hyojung insisted. "I want.." She clenched her fists, trying her best to not stop herself from doing a foolish mistake. 

"I want to keep liking you. Can.. Can we date before you get married? Can you just be mine even just a year?"

"Hyojung.. you know how this would greatly affect our friendship." Hyejin says as she sat up, taking Hyojung's hands, trying to calm her down again. Hyojung bit her lip. She feels so desparate. 

"F- it. I love you, Hyejin. I can't continue being just a friend to you. I rarely curse but when it comes to you, I just.. feel so many overflowing feelings I can't-" 

Hyejin takes her hand and kissed her knuckles. "Will you be okay with that?" She asked again, unlike Hyojung, she wants to make sure Hyojung wouldn't get hurt but Hyojung is determined now after knowing that Hyejin loved her too.

Hyojung nodded while sniffing, she cried a lot already. "Alright, we'll pretend we never left this room." Hyejin smiled and hugged her tightly. 

That was where they started. The next week, they'd go to work together, either of them will fetch the other from their respective places. 

"Won't you say anything about my dress?" Hyejin was pouting when Hyojung turned to look at the girl walking beside her. Hyojung smiled before responding,

"Uhm.. Isn't that supposed to be your outfit for Saturdays?" She said, clueless. Hyejin always wear dresses on Saturdays, that's what she noticed. Although the girl really look cute everytime, and Hyojung even bought clothes of the same style with Hyejin back then because she thinks the clothes are really pretty. 

Hyejin sighed. "I wore this because I wanted to look good on you. You didn't even notice." Hyojung blushed. What?? She wants to look good for me? She couldn't stop smiling the whole day. Turns out Hyojung changed Hyejin's dress code because they're finally dating now.

--

"Jiho said she's free tonight too, that's why Mimi insisted we go to her place for a movie night." Hyojung explained while Hyejin is busy organizing the tables. Hyejin hummed. 

"Are you not tired yet?" Like the usual, Hyejin would first ask her if she's tired. The first time Hyejin asked her after they started dating, Hyojung honestly said she is and Hyejin commanded her to go home and get some rest. Since then, Hyojung noted that she's forever energetic and not tired.

"Nope! Not at all! And besides, it's been long since we scheduled a movie night." 

"Fine." Hyejin folded her apron and walked into the kitchen. "We'll go but later at night you have to rest as soon as you go home." 

Hyojung didn't regret asking Hyejin to give her this chance. God it feels heaven knowing you're sharing mutual feelings with the person you love for years. This would end soon, no, later, Hyojung still have to let go of Hyejin but she doesn't care. She wants to enjoy this moment.. as it lasts. 

"Hey! You're messing with the wrong girl!" Hyojung chuckled as she ran off far from Hyejin standing by the table making cupcakes after she played with the icing and wiped Hyejin's cheeks with some of it. For someone so neat and sophisticated as Hyejin, she looks cute with a messy face.

"I think you're my type of girl though." Hyojung giggled and Hyejin tried to catch her from running again. Hyojung couldn't go out of the kitchen because their friends are outside and she wouldn't let them join their mess.

"Why are you so dorky?" Hyejin asked her, pulling Hyojung back to the table. Hyojung smiled as she followed her.. girlfriend. 

"I am NOT dorky, I am cute." Hyojung answered. Hyejin started cleaning Hyojung's hands with a kitchen towel. Hyojung is reminded of that time she's just starting to fall for Hyejin on their trip.

"Fine then, I am pretty." Hyejin says, after Hyojung couldn't feel any sticky icing on her hands, she takes the towel from Hyejin.

"How can you clean my hands but not the icing on your face? Your pretty face is messed." With that, she wipes the icing off of Hyejin's face. 

And as time goes by..

"Hmmm...." Seunghee hummed, tapping at the counter while staring at Hyojung who was smiling wide like an idiot writing down Seunghee's orders.

"You. Are. In. Love." Seunghee's eyes squinted. Hyojung bit her lip to suppress her smile but she can't help it thinking about Hyejin.

"Is it obvious?" Hyojung asks, lightly tapping her cheeks because she feels like she's blushing, and she really is. But she's happy, her heart is happy. 

"Does she love you too? Isn't she dating a guy?" Seunghee takes her change and glances at Yubin on the table. 

Jinyoung. Right, Hyojung almost forgot, there was a Jinyoung. There is, and there would always be. Suddenly, Hyojung's worried. When she asked Hyejin to be with her, she didn't think of what would actually happen to her once Jinyoung and Hyejin.. got married. But.. if Hyejin's dating her now, then it means Jinyoung is out of the picture, right? 

No.. It isn't that easy. Hyojung could understand what Hyejin is up to. She knows Hyejin likes Jinyoung and when Hyejin said she wants to be selfish, it meant that she'd date Hyojung even when she's about to marry Jinyoung. Happy ending for them, sad ending for Hyojung. It's okay. I love what I'm doing right now.

Hyojung is optimistic, she thought she'd be able to handle this and, she'll just enjoy the fun with Hyejin, before it lasts.

"Well.." Hyojung fiddled her fingers. "I told her I love her.. And we're really happy right now." 

Seunghee shook her head. "Tch. She didn't tell you the three magic words?" Seunghee sighed, Hyojung sighed right after.

"Don't tell her I told you about this." Hyojung warned her friend and Seunghee nodded. By the time Hyejin walked out of the kitchen to serve Seunghee and Yubin's order, Hyojung started asking Seunghee as well.

"How about her? Any progress?" Seunghee shook her head again. 

"She's unpredictable." Hyojung chuckled at Seunghee's answer. 

Hyojung is beyond satisfied with how things are going well between her and Hyejin. Everyday, she does her best to keep Hyejin entertained, she looks after Hyejin all the time and does extra effort on everything she does with Hyejin, like for example, they went on a picnic date and she borrowed Mimi's car to make it easier for them. They also went to multiple dates outside the city. One of them is with their friends.

"I can't believe you didn't bring first aid kit, Mimi." Hyejin crossed her arms and looked outside from car window. Mimi and Yooa are spending their 2nd anniversary with them. They're on Mimi's car on their way to Mimi's province. It was actually Yooa who invited them to come since Hyejin might have asked her about good dating spots and instead, Yooa said that she wants to show them how nice Jeju is. It would be unfair to go with just the four of them so they decided to invite Yubin, Seunghee and Arin as well.

"I forgot okay! And besides, we didn't use it back then when we went to Binrin's province." Mimi explained, her eyes are still on the road while talking to Hyejin. Yooa is sleeping on the passenger's seat while Hyojung is next to Hyejin on the back seat. Hyojung held Hyejin's hand, planning to sleep as well instead of listening to Mimi and Hyejin's argument. Apparently, Hyejin always told Mimi to keep bringing a first aid kit on her car and Mimi said she didn't bring it. 

Hyojung knows where Hyejin is coming. It really is better to be ready but she doesn't wanna listen to them right now. 

"Ugh, hate you." Hyejin rolled her eyes, Hyojung felt Hyejin shifting on her seat to sit closer to her. Hyojung hugged Hyejin's arm as she slowly drifted to sleep.

"Love you Mom." Mimi answered sarcastically.

--

The whole day Mimi took them on a tour throughout the Jeju City. Of course it was fun and refreshing. Nature never fails to remove someone's stress. . 

"Can you all please stop talking for a moment? I have a solution to your rooming problem." Jiho said from the screen. From what Hyojung can recall, Mimi told her that Jiho may be going back to Korea next year. Finally, because it to just keep on videocalling Jiho everytime. Anyway, they are at the living room deciding on how they would divide themselves for where they'll sleep.

Mimi's house is big for their small family but there was only one guest room and they all agreed to play rock paper scissors on who would stay at the guest room and who would join Mimi on her room. 4 on the guest room and 3 on Mimi's room. This was Jiho's idea.

Hyojung felt Hyejin's head against her shoulder. The girl is leaning on her. 

"JinE, are you sleepy?" She asks the girl softly. The others are still busy discussing what their plan would be for tomorrow. 

"No.. But It would be better if we're sleeping in the same room." Hyojung chuckled at Hyejin's cuteness. Hyojung lost the mini game and she'll be with Mimi and Yubin on Mimi's room. 

"It's okay, we can meet tomorrow, you know. I'm all yours tomorrow." Hyojung assured her but Hyejin shook her head.

"I want to stay next to you." 

At first, Hyojung couldn't understand why Hyejin is suddenly being clingy, it's not that she isn't really clingy but she's more clingy these days. But then when Hyejin told her that she's going out of town with Jinyoung to take care of their wedding.. that's actually coming in 8 months. Hyojung understood. Eight months.. There wasn't much of a difference since when they're just bestfriends and when they're dating. 

Really, Hyojung? Hyojung was so inlove. She should've been too worried that this day would come.  She should've known that Hyejin would still choose Jinyoung. 

I should've kept track on time. 

Hyojung didn't know why she did this. Her heart was happy. Along the way, she thought maybe after everything, Hyejin would choose her. She felt it. I felt it. She loves me like I love her. But.. why?

"Where are you going..?" Hyojung asks when she saw Hyejin out of her apron and in a nice dress. It isn't Saturday.. and Hyojung didn't ask Hyejin out for a date today. Where is she going?

"Uh.. Jinyoung.. I have to meet him today."

"You're still meeting with him?" Did I ask it right? Do I have the rights?

Hyejin couldn't even look at her. Hyojung never felt as pathetic as she is right now. 

"I should be, Hyojung. We're getting married, you know that." 

"Yes, I know." I know.. Is this right? Should Hyojung just let her leave? 

She did. 

"Unnie, do you realize now what would happen to you?" Yubin asked the obvious. Hyojung didn't answer, she shove her face on her forearms. Of course, Hyojung wasn't an idiot. She knows that this isn't a movie where she could act like a teenager and throw tantrums so that Hyejin wouldn't leave her side. 

"Why did you ask her to date you before she gets married in the first place?" 

"And why the hell would she agree to that knowing you'd get hurt in the end?"

Hyojung closed her eyes, she couldn't bear to see Yubin this frustrated because she's more frustrated than anyone right now.

"I asked her to give me a chance. I thought I could change her mind.. and she agreed.." Hyojung answered, her voice was so little. She's scared she might cry if she keeps talking. Why did I do that.. Why am I such an idiot?

"God.. This is so messed up. Why would she even marry Jinyoung if she has feelings for you?" 

"She.. likes him." It's like a cut on as she said those words. Only right now that she feels so upset by the fact that she doesn't know what's the real deal between Hyejin and Jinyoung.

"Then what's your plan? Hyejin's been your bestfriend. You have to make things clear between the two of you."

A year. Hyojung thought she had a year to be with Hyejin, enough to forget about marrying Jinyoung. Mimi and Yooa also stumbled upon unwanted marriage issues too, but they settled it and now they're living happily with each other. What's so different between her and Hyejin? Hyojung knows Hyejin wants this wedding as well. 

I don't want to lose Hyejin.

"Hyojung, you won't lose me, okay? You won't." Hyejin placed her bag down on Hyojung's couch. The girl came over the next day after Hyojung ignored her texts. She's been thinking all night about what she'll do to keep Hyejin by her side. There was only one option.

"It's just.. eight months.. Not even a year, Hyejin." Hyojung wants to tell her everything right now. She won't be able to sleep if she'd continue being just optimistic instead of confronting Hyejin.

Hyejin sat across her, joining her on the dining table. She could see how tired Hyejin's eyes are. I shouldn't have called her today and let her rest. There it is again, she cares about Hyejin so much, and she's so confuse right now.

"I know, Hyojung I'm sorry.." Hyejin held her hand and Hyojung could only look at their hands. 

"I didn't know you will still continue your business with Jinyoung. I.. I thought we're okay." Hyojung feels something, like her heart is swollen. She's already longing for Hyejin. She wants to see Hyejin comforting her. I want you to tell me that you won't leave me, that you would stay with me.

"It's hard.. I asked you before, Hyojung. I asked-" 

"I know!" Hyojung pulled her hand away from Hyejin's. She brushed her hair back out of frustration. It's her fault. She knows it is. She was desparate. Hyojung couldn't hold back her tears like what she did with her hair. It was so hard. Hyejin remained on her seat. Hyojung can't look at her anymore. In her heart, she wants Hyejin to stay with her. 

"You were really selfish.. Hyejin. " Hyojung blurted out, that moment she couldn't handle the unpleasant feeling in her chest, she was so hurt but she couldn't get mad at Hyejin. She just can't. Hyojung left Hyejin there and locked herself in her room. She doesn't know if Hyejin already left her apartment and she doesn't care. She suddenly doesn't want to care. In fact, this 'caring' is what brought her to being closer to Hyejin. 

For a moment, she regrets it. She regrets being Hyejin's bestfriend. She regrets confessing to Hyejin. All she could think of are her what-ifs. What if Hyejin is actually against the marriage now? What if Hyejin was planning to tell her that the wedding is off? But Hyejin wouldn't let her cry like this if it is. What if Hyejin didn't have feelings for her and it was all sympathy? I must be too fascinated to think that she actually likes me. 

Hyojung can't keep going like this. She can't go to work with this unsettled thing between her and Hyejin. 

"Should I just tell her to reset everything and just be my bestfriend?" Hyojung sobbed by herself. She hugs her pillow and closed her eyes. 

That way we'll be okay, and she would stay with me.

Hyojung wasn't confident at all. She had to set her mind on how she'll survive this heartbreak. If I do that.. I have more months to move on. That should be enought to get her back on her optimistic track.

She still hasn't decided but her stomach growled, she was hungry. She hates what she feels right now, hungry, broken, confused. What's worse than feeling this way?

The worse thing is revealed when Hyojung walked out of her room only to see Hyejin sleeping on her couch. Why are you still here? The universe might be telling Hyojung that she should settle things now.

She walked over to check on the girl. "Hyejin." She called and Hyejin woke up immediately, rubbing her eyes as she sat to let Hyojung sit next to her. Hyojung could see Hyejin nervously fiddling her fingers.

"I'm sorry about earlier." Hyojung apologized. Hyejin remained quiet so Hyojung continued.

"You shouldn't be blamed about this. I.. was the one who's childish and must've forced you to give me a chance. But Hyejin.. I don't want to lose you."

Hyojung looked at Hyejin. Her eyes are getting sweaty again. And now, just looking at Hyejin is getting hard for her too.

"Hyojung, you out of all people know that I hate being away from you." Then why, Hyejin? Hyojung has so many questions, but she's tired. She can't risk any more. She hates being a third party.

"I can't be selfish anymore, right?" Hyojung asks, she wasn't expecting an answer from Hyejin and Hyejin only looked at her. Hyojung could see it, sadness. Hyejin was sad. Hyojung hopes what she's thinking right now is what was actually happening. She's tired of all her fantasies.

"I'm sorry, Hyejin." Again, Hyojung apologized, but not for what she said earlier. Hyejin bit her lip. Why aren't you saying anything? 

"I want to be your bestfriend again.. just your bestfriend." It's like Hyojung has degraded herself by what she just said. Hyejin looked shocked. Wasn't she expecting this? Hyejin took her hand before speaking up,

"No, are you breaking up with me? Hyojung.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Please don't rush this." Hyejin apologized this time, the girl looked so sad, Hyojung feels like her heart was breaking again and again everytime she looks at Hyejin. She loves the girl but she's still as confused. It isn't so easy deciding things between them.

"Hyejin.. whatever you feel for me.. I know it's real. But we can't be selfish together. We're a team." Hyojung forced a smile and gave Hyejin a small peck on the lips, she wants to assure Hyejin that she'll be okay. That would probably be their last kiss.

"When one of us makes a mistake, at least the other has to make up for it. We.. both did a mistake." Hyejin mouthed a no, Hyojung looked down at their hands. 

"There might exist a day soon when I can't hold your hand like this anymore.. And I don't want that day to come." This time, Hyejin started crying and there it is again. That feeling when Hyojung thinks she's the only person Hyejin loves as a partner. Hyejin, please don't make this  hard for me.

"Tomorrow, when we come to work, I want us to go back to.. being bestfriends. Do it for me."

Hyejin did it for her. Although Hyojung could see that there are some help from their friends. The next weeks, their friends would be coming to their cafe almost everyday. Even Jiho who only calls them has been calling Hyejin and Hyojung more frequently now. "Back to being bestfriends" didn't happen. Mainly because them being bestfriends is purely them being clingy to each other but now, it's been too awkward. Neither Hyojung nor Hyejin forced them to be as close as they were. They continued working together. It wasn't really hard especially because of their friends and the customers, and when they're alone after working hours, they would just catch up with each other. 

Hyojung misses something though, Hyejin's hand. 

Just ironic that she told Hyejin she doesn't want to let go of her hand but now, she can't even touch Hyejin's hand. She's scared, not because of what Hyejin might think of her but because she might not be able to restrain herself from hugging and cuddling with Hyejin.

Jinyoung continued visiting their cafe from time to time, some of the nights, he would help them clean up. He would take Hyejin out on a dinner date. He would give Hyojung a hand with carrying the chairs. How could I hate him? He's too nice, while I wish he never existed.

I wish I was him.

"Hyojung unnie! Are you listening?"Jiho waved her hand on the screen and that's when Hyojung came back to reality. Jiho's currently talking to her, the girl wants to throw a small party as she's going home in two days. Hyojung hasn't been so occupied in days, her friends kept her busy. Hyejin too. And Hyojung appreciates everything. She's atleast 80 percent back to her old self, a part of her accepts the fact that Hyejin can't really end up with her. She's starting to learn to accept it, but her heart hasn't change a bit, it's still about Hyejin. And it's okay. It is really okay. No sarcasm intended.

She's at least happy that Jinyoung is nice. But 20% of her still hopes for a chance.

Jiho came back and their group is complete in the cafe. Hyojung's thankful that Hyejin didn't come home early today. The thing is that, after their small party, Hyojung was busy cleaning up while their friends are outside waiting. It's only gonna take a few minutes but Hyejin entered the cafe again.

"Uhm.. Yooa said you need help?" 

Hyojung pointed at herself. "I.. need help?" 

The two stared at each other, trying to comprehend what's happening. Until after a minute or two, they both started laughing. 

"Crazy Yooa. But anyway, what else is left to do?" Hyejin walked to the counter where Hyojung is and looked at what Hyojung was doing, which is organizing the receipts they had for today.

"You shouldn't be asking that when you're also the owner of this cafe." Hyojung smiled, after she's done, she placed the pieces of papers inside the drawer.and looked at Hyejin who seemed like she wants to say something.

"Uh.. About that.. a-after the wedding.." Hyejin stuttered. And it's about the marriage. Hyojung wanted to sigh and tell Hyejin to stop talking and not bring it up but she didn't. 

"I don't think I'll still be working here." 

Right. What else would Hyojung expect? This work is already a commitment between them and they aren't how they used to be anymore. Of course, she'll be handling this cafe alone soon. When is the wedding coming again? One month? 2 months?

"Okay, I'll take care of it. Don't worry about that." Hyojung smiled and Hyejin didn't say anything anymore. Jinyoung soon came to fetch Hyejin..while their friends went to their separate places. This time, Hyojung will be walking with Jiho, Mimi and Yooa, the couple is more likely living together now. Jiho's new place is just the same way as theirs.

Yooa clung on her arm on her right while Jiho's by her left side. Mimi next to Yooa is talking about her new favorite Netflix series  but Hyojung's rather thinking about how she'll continue the cafe, by herself. One of her options is to just close it and find a job. 

"What's up? You're unusually quiet." Jiho asked her. Hyojung appreciates that Jiho noticed it but she doesn't know if she should tell them about it.

"Is it about your cafe?" Mimi guessed. Maybe it's because Hyojung spent most of her time with Hyejin that she didn't notice how close she is actually with her friends, they could easily guess what she's thinking.

"Or maybe it's about Hyejin unnie because Hyojung unnie  broke up with her and now she's worried about the cafe." Mimi pinched Jiho's arm. 

"Ow why!" Jiho pinched Mimi's cheek to get back at her. 

"Read the room!" 

Hyojung chuckled. "Jiho's right and don't worry. Plus correction, she's the one who broke up with me." 

"Shiah, I thought she's the one who broke up with Hyejin-" Hyojung heard Mimi whispering but Yooa shushed her. 

Hyojung raised her hand to stop the three from talking more. "Just let me think that she broke up with me so I won't regret my decision, okay?" 

The three obeyed anyway. It's Hyojung's coping mechanism. She's trying to smile all the time, moving on from Hyejin, trying to still be friends with Hyejin and now deciding for what she'd do with the cafe. So many things at once. 

"Unnie, have you cried about it?" Yooa asked softly. One good thing about their friendship is that, they must be honest, whatever it is. 

Hyojung said yes. "I cried about her from the first weeks after.. I found out that they're still going to.. you know." Jiho and Mimi remained silent while Yooa continued talking to her. 

"You're strong, unnie." Yooa said, Hyojung admitted it. She's in fact trying her best to do so. 

"I figured that I can't keep crying about my decisions. I should be responsible for everything I do. That applies for you three as well." 

Hyojung smiled, it's cool how she still managed to be a mom friend right now. Yooa and Mimi are also maturing and Hyojung thought she could make a good example about decisions, also with Jiho who's still adjusting again. 

"Thanks unnie, but remember, even if you don't ask for it, we're here for you." Yooa said and they all agreed with a nod, and smiles on ttheir faces. At least this time, Hyojung is sure her smile is honest. 

Hyejin's wedding.. came faster than Hyojung thought. She hopes moving on would be as fast as it is but it's really not. But still, she never took the smile off her face, she continued to smile even when she sees Hyejin having trouble with her apron, or when Hyejin's messing up the kitchen, and when Hyejin's sweating after an hour of cleaning the cafe, and lastly, whenever Hyojung thinks she could have a solo time with Hyejin, which was supposed to happen because they are freaking bestfriends, that's what they both agreed to but whenever the customers are gone, Jinyoung would come just in time. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to before. Hyojung got used to the pain, and the regrets, she doesn't cry every night anymore..as long as she doesn't think of the pain, she's okay. 

"Hyojung unnie, sorry.. for ignoring you earlier, I was too focused on wanting to talk to Seunghee unnie." Arin apologized as they walked together on the steeets across Seunghee's house. Just today, Yubin called her to meet on Yooa's apartment and it's to tell them about what's going on with her and Seunghee. Things.. love issues are happening between her friends, mainly Jiho, Yubin, Arin and Seunghee. It's a long story but Hyojung could at least understand that everything is just because of the lack of communication. 

Talk about communication. 

"Arin, it's alright, hm?" Hyojung doesn't have the energy anymore. She's already tired of running from Yooa's apartment to Seunghee's house because she had to look after Arin. They just left Seunghee's place by the way. 

Arin offered to get some time resting on the bench at the side streets. Oh thank goodness. Hyojung's feet are so exhausted. Pretty sure Mimi is with Jiho right now, Hyojung wants to ask Arin about what plans with Jiho but she decided not to pressure the girl for now. 

"Unnie.." Arin's currently eating biscuits as they sat, Seunghee gave her one earlier. Hyojung hummed as her eyes are busy watching the not-so-busy street. 

"What do you think Yubin unnie felt when she gave up on Jiho?" 

Oh. 

"I'm sure she's half-regretting, half-satisfied." Again, she smiled at the confused Arin. 

"Everyone's initial thought about their decisions is regretting what they did. But there's always a reason why we choose to do things.. right? In the end, she can feel satisfied because of that one reason." 

"Hm.." Arin nodded. "Are we still talking about Yubin unnie?" 

Hyojung chuckled and pinched Arin's cheek, the young girl whined. 

Just then, Hyojung's phone beeped, there's a text from Hyejin. I thought she's out with Jinyoung today.. 

Hyejinie : Can we meet tomorrow? 

She met with Hyejin the next day. Communication. Before meeting Hyejin at the cafe, in which she's sure would be the last time they'll meet talking about this something between them, Hyojung took note that she must let go of Hyejin today. Let go in a way that she doesn't have to keep staring and watching Hyejin in the shadows because she's so worried about the girl. She wants... to be just the normal type of friend. 

"At least try. Please?" Hyejin passed the envelope to Hyojung on the table, which Hyojung guesses is an invitation letter as they're talking about Hyejin leaving now. The cafe is closed, it usually give off this warm feeling and that aroma of coffee and pastries but today, it's rather cold, instead of brown and yellow, Hyojung could see black and white.

"Hyejin, you can't ask me to watch the love of my life marrying someone else." Hyojung slowly pushed the letter back to Hyejin. It's just.. so insensitive of Hyejin. 

"Take it." Hyejin insisted. The girl is crossing her arms now. Surrendering in defeat, Hyojung took the envelope and placed it inside her bag. 

"But I can't assure you that I will come." I can't ruin your day, Hyejin.

They talked for another hour. About Hyejin's plans, of course with a conversation boundary limiting them to things they shouldn't talk about.. which is what was the real deal between them. At least Hyojung could observe that her interactions with Hyejin now is just as normal as she would be doing with Seunghee or any of their other friends. It's supposed to be nice.. but it's disappointing.

"Thank you so much, for this, for everything." Hyojung chuckled, she pulled out the key of the cafe's main door out of her pocket and locked it. She looked at Heyjin standing a little four to six inches away from her, waiting for her to finish locking the door and when she did, she faced Hyejin.

"The last time you said that was when we opened the cafe and now, we're closing it." Hyejin smiled apologetic. 

"If.. something comes up, you can always call me. I will always have time for you, Hyojung."

"I'll keep that in mind."

They agreed to just.. close the cafe. This cafe is our baby, ours. It isn't your room or mine anymore, starting today, our place would be this cafe.

That's what Hyejin said back then. Hyojung thinks it doesn't apply to them anymore. Slowly, she recognized the hurtful fact that things already changed between her and Hyejin.. and that it won't go back to how it used to anymore. 

At first, Hyojung thought she can hardly accept all the things she experienced with Hyejin. Hyejin was a journey to her. Don't worry, she didn't live her life confused about what Hyejin felt for her. It took her days to know about it.

"Guys.. Don't you notice something?" Jiho asked. Hyojung is busy at her kitchen with Yubin cooking for their lunch. The girls gathered in Hyojung's place unannounced. Hyojung had no idea they'll come but luckily, she prepared food to cook for them. 

"What is it?" Arin was cautious, scared as she looked around.

"All of us are so pretty." Jiho confidently said and Yooa threw a pillow towards her. Hyojung and Yubin laughed together listening to their friends.

"Aren't we too matched made by heaven?" Mimi seconded, causing another fire of bickering with each other. 

"Nice try Mimi." Hyojung commented, Yubin wiped her hand with the kitchen towel and transfered the soup in a bowl. 

"Are you okay?" Suddenly, Seunghee popped behind her. Hyojung tried her best to give them a smile. Even when her friends aren't saying anything. They're surely here to keep Hyojung accompanied. 

"Guys, don't overreact. I've prepared myself for this day." 

Today is Hyejin's wedding. 

Why won't I be okay? For years she developed feelings for Hyejin, she liked her so much too. She had her chance but she wasn't good enough. I should've told her how happy I was with her. It wouldn't change anything but at least.. Hyejin should be aware. She wonders if Hyejin cares.

"It's still rude that I couldn't get a copy of her invitation." Seunghee complained again. She's been complaining about it while Yubin's been constantly reminding her not to mention the wedding but it's okay for Hyojung.

Hyojung stood up from her seat to take the envelope, the invitation that Hyejin gave her the other day and gave it to Seunghee. She isn't planning to look at it anyway.

"Did she tell you something before today? Like some sort of closure?" Arin asked. Her friends looked at her, waiting for her answer. Did she? No.. 

"When we talked, she just kept insisting on making me come to her wedding, giving me that." 

Hyojung continued eating, she isn't really in the mood to keep talking about Hyejin.

"You're wrong, Hyojung." Seunghee muttered. Everyone looked at Seunghee whose eyes are on the paper that must've been inside the envelope.

Slowly, Seunghee folded the paper and gave it to Hyojung. Jiho chuckled when she saw Seunghee tearing up. 

"Ya, what's with the tears? Are you only realizing that Hyejin's married?" 

Hyojung ignored them and took a look at what's in the paper. It wasn't an invitation. Hyojung understood why Seunghee reacted like that. It was Hyejin's handwriting.

Hey Hyojungie, have I told you that you smile so sweet that sometimes.. I want to keep you because I always need sweetness in my life. Nevermind, I always want to keep you next to me. Well.. Wow. How many years have we known each other? Almost like since I started schooling, I've known you as that charming girl with a smile tattooed on her face. hahaha ♡ you've always been so nice to me. I have to confess that unlike you who only started liking me at college, I already liked you since highschool. You're famous for being good at everything. Do you know that I always treasured all the times you're approaching me? You don't seem shy but it's cute when you are. 

I'll never stop thanking you, it's the only thing I could do to make up for all the mistakes I made that hurt you. You taught me things, Hyojung. Because of you, I realized that I'm never satisfied with my life. Hyo.. when I kissed you, and I said I want to be selfish. It meant that I wanted to act according to what I feel. I want you to know that I really love you. I'm just.. not good at expressing it, and I can't tell you in person because I already committed myself to someone else. I'm sorry for everything. I shouldn't have left you in pain, I shouldn't have hurt you. I was enjoying your company so much that I got addicted. You're so addicting, Hyojung. I'm sorry if you cried because of what I did. I was so selfish and you were right, It's better for us to just stay as friends. It though, I miss holding your hands, and you. I miss you Hyojung. I spoiled myself a lot in the past years and it became so hard for me to get used to being not so close with you. 

I'm not sure if you'll get to read this. But I hope you would. Atleast I want you to know that you are the best thing about my adolescence. You're that important to me. I hope one day will come soon and you'll be as honestly happy as you were before. Always remember that I'm still here, and our friends, Mimi, Yooa, Seunghee, Jiho, Yubin and Arin. I'm sure they love you, but I love you more than they do. haha anyway, you won't go to my wedding for sure so, I hope that when I meet you at our New Year's party, you're wearing that beautiful cheeky smile, without pain, without regrets about me. I love you Hyojung.

- S.H.J.

Choi Hyojung was a good student leader. She's used to making decisions and she makes sure that she never regrets all of it. Hyeijin said she doesn't want her to regret anything but.. there's still one thing that she regrets, letting the love of her life go.

END.