The hum of the air conditioner along with the chilly atmosphere of the empty store was interrupted by a long sigh.

Jaehyun opens his smartphone just to close it again – checking the time and waiting for a text message asking him what he’s doing, if he already ate and is not skipping meals. Back then, his ex-lover would randomly pick a time to send selfies of himself. These photos would either make Jaehyun squeal like a teenage girl in love, wanting to pepper him kisses on the face for being so cute. Or heat him up, pin him down, and make the other whimper under him. At this point, he wouldn’t mind what would be written or sent, he just wants Taeyong’s name and number to appear in his screen. Anything.

 It will never come, and he knows that all too well.

This night was going to be long, same with the nights he’s had without Taeyong.

He tries to distract himself by sending a text message to Johnny.

Of course, Jaehyun knows. Johnny has been talking about this certain Thai guy he met and been interested in for the past couple weeks. The two probably “hung out.”

Feeling malicious, He continues to send text messages just to annoy his friend.

Jaehyun doesn’t believe in ghosts. He decides to leave the man alone, because apparently, his best friend isn’t lying and he doesn’t want to imagine Johnny and Thai Boy doing that. He knows Johnny has been thirsting for who-knows-when.

Thinking that maybe watching a couple YouTube videos would help his boredom. He searches for the app in his phone, taps on it, all the while hearing the bell chime from the door – a sign of a person coming in.

Jaehyun finds it weird that somebody would have the energy to go out the comfort of their homes. But then, he’s awake, working here, sitting right in front of this cash register, in the middle of someplace. He is literally working in a convenience store on graveyard shift.

Scrolling down his YouTube feed, he sees videos on how to make miniatures. These had always reminded him of Taeyong, who was so enticed by small versions of big things. Jaehyun was taken back to the time when he made a miniature treehouse for Taeyong’s birthday as a gift. When the day had come and it was finally show time, his lover’s doe eyes were as wide as the moon, so in awe in Jaehyun’s craft. At that exact moment, he could feel himself falling in love again for the thousandth time – falling for the same beautiful man, inside and out. Suddenly, all the time he spent upon working on it instead of finishing his papers (which Taeyong did find out and scolded him a bit) was worth the blinding smile given by the person whom he loved in the entire world.

Taeyong treasured the wonderful gift so much, and thanked Jaehyun by giving him all his love for the rest of his life. But, happened.

The memories hurt. It feels like his heart was being poked by thousands of needles and his lower abdomen was racking up with thunder. He gets off his phone.

To keep his mind away from the thoughts, he looks at the mirror by the corner of the ceiling to see the person who came in the store at this hour.

Bubblegum pink hair was reflected sticking out of an aisle. Jaehyun couldn’t see the rest of the person, so he waits patiently until they come and pay for what they bought.

Jaehyun couldn’t help but be reminded again. Taeyong dyed his hair different colors, and pink was the best. It complemented his beauty, highlighted the softness of his doe eyes and rosy tint of his cheeks.

It seems that everywhere Jaehyun looks, he reminisces Taeyong, Taeyong, Taeyong.

Jaehyun picks up his phone again and looks at the time, a routine of his. He also had a notification on this cat collecting game he’s playing. He wanted to tap it, but before he does, stuff were put on his counter.

He notices. Jaehyun puts away his phone and gets to work. He unconsciously lists all the items on the counter in his head, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, a Cadbury bar, Choco Baby, and a box of chocolate milk. All of them are sweets. Seems oddly familiar.

Moving his gaze upwards, he finally saw bubblegum-pink-hair-person’s face.

He also looks familiar.

“Taeyong?”

Clearly surprised by the way his name was called out suddenly, the person just smiles.

Jaehyun hesitates for half a second. He soon takes each item and scans it, “You’re quite the sweet tooth, huh.”

Silence.

He doesn’t want to say it. He really doesn’t, but the way he’s feeling at this exact moment is stopping him from keeping his words to himself.

 “I miss you very, very, very much, Yongie,” His voice sounded so delicate. Downcast eyes were locked with the gentle ones in front.

The other winces a bit on the nickname.

“Please, come back,” Jaehyun was languid, “I still love you. I’m sorry, I truly am,” he pleaded for the hundredth time.

“Jae,” Taeyong spoke up. His deep calming voice filled up the heavyhearted ambiance around them.

Jaehyun hearing his ex-lover call him by his pet-name made his heart skip a beat.

“You have to let me go,” spoken softly by the person who was, and still is, Jaehyun’s everything, “We were young, intoxicated, and weren’t thinking properly at that time. The car crash wasn’t your fault.”

Please enjoy your life, Jaehyunnie, and move on from me.

 

Time stills.

 

Jaehyun blinks.

 

With this, he was brought back to his usual scene of the convenience store.

Confused, Jaehyun looks at the clock on his phone. Twelve forty-eight, AM.

Jaehyun leans on the chair he’s been sitting on. He swallows the lump in his throat and closes his eyes.

I can’t, Taeyong. I’m sorry.

 

The whirring sound of the air conditioner can only be heard, accompanied by the cold midnight air.

***