When Chorong was eight, she had a crush on a girl named Eunji in her class. 

The thing is, Chorong had no idea that it was a crush. All she knew was that whenever she was around this girl, her heart would feel all funny. She wanted to squirm like when she’d been sitting for too long. It was that same kind of wiggly feeling. She felt it in her chest. Chorong didn’t like this feeling, even if she happened to walk by Eunji more than necessary. This feeling made her want to throw up.

So, as eight year-olds do, Chorong wrote her crush a letter.

Dear Eunji, it read, You make me want to throw up. Please change schools so I don’t throw up. Thank you. Chorong. 

At age eight, Chorong thought this was the most eloquent letter anyone could have written. She proudly left it on Eunji’s desk when their class went out for recess and tried not to stare too hard at her when they returned.

Chorong remembers Eunji’s confused look, little brows furrowing together as she picked up the folded paper and read it. She also remembers Eunji’s face going blank before she shrugged and crumpled up the paper to throw away. Looking back on it now, Chorong knows why she’d been so devastated to see Eunji so nonchalant about being told to leave her school. It hadn’t been because she thought she wasn’t being taken seriously. It had been because her crush seemingly hadn’t given her a second thought.

Even when she didn’t really understand all of her feelings, Chorong knew she was upset. After that, Chorong avoided Eunji. She didn’t walk by her desk during class anymore. She didn’t stand behind her and her loud, boy friends in the lunch line. She didn’t even dare look at her. This was how Chorong handled it, until one day, their teacher announced Eunji was moving and would be changing schools.

Chorong had whipped her head to stare at the other girl, surrounded by all of her friends pouting and whining about missing her after she left. Absently, Chorong had heard her teacher tell the class that tomorrow would be Eunji’s last day. For some reason, Chorong’s heart started feeling funny in a different way. She had raised her hand to her chest and grabbed her shirt in her little fist. Chorong was in a bad mood the rest of the day, and she couldn’t figure out why.

When Chorong was eight, Eunji changed schools without another glance at her. After her last day, where Chorong did everything she could not to care and not to look at the other girl, things went back to normal. Chorong didn’t have that awful wiggly feeling anymore. She didn’t worry about where she was in the lunch line or what the boys were doing at recess. Chorong thought everything was as it should be.

Years later, Chorong’s mom tells her this story, and Chorong hides her face with her hands in embarrassment. She’s turning twenty-five today, and her mom is having too much fun regaling stories of her childhood. On the other side of her and across the table, her dad and little sister are enjoying the stories too. 

“You were so oblivious,” Chorong’s mom tells her, cupping her daughter’s face lovingly. “You’d come home and complain all day about this girl in your class. Eunji this, Eunji that. One day, I asked you if she was pretty, and I think I broke you a little.” This makes their entire family laugh, and Chorong blushes. “You were so cute. You made some excuse that she wasn’t that pretty, but then you said her smile made up for her ugly face. You said her smile reminded you of the sun.”

“You were so cheesy for an eight year-old!” Chorong’s sister, Eunbi, exclaims. “Who says stuff like that?”

“You were so sad when Eunji moved too,” Chorong’s dad chimes in. He slings an arm around her shoulders and says, “When I picked you up, you were scowling like I’d never seen before. I asked you what was wrong, and you kept mumbling. I asked you to speak clearly, and you yelled that Eunji was moving.” He chuckles and gives Chorong a hug and a kiss on her temple. “You were always bad at recognizing your feelings.”

“Like with Joohyun,” Eunbi nods. “She had the biggest crush on you in high school, you know that? I was just waiting for the day she’d confess, but she never did. Then you guys went to separate universities, and now she’s dating Seulgi.” She gives her sister a look. “You just at feelings.”

“No I don’t!” Chorong protests. She shakes her head and pouts at her family. “It’s my birthday. You’re supposed to be nice to me.”

Her family laughs and apologizes, but they keep teasing her the rest of the night. They move on to other topics, but Chorong’s mind lingers on Eunji. She hasn’t thought about her in so many years. It’s a distant memory now, her letter to her. It’s a fond memory though. As embarrassing as it is, it always makes her giggle to think she actually wrote that. 

That night, Chorong decides to spend the night in her childhood home since she’s had a little too much wine to be driving. Eunbi is overjoyed and drags all of the pillows and blankets into the living room, making a makeshift pillowfort. It makes Chorong feel like a little kid again, even if she’s twenty-five. She sleeps easy that night with dreams of the ones that got away.

In the morning, she’s the first one awake, so Chorong crawls out of the fort and borrows a shirt and a pair of sweatpants from Eunbi, who is still fast asleep. She checks the time and sees that her favorite bakery should be open by now. Chorong grabs her wallet and keys and decides to surprise her family with breakfast after such a nice birthday dinner.

When she gets to the bakery, there’s already a line out the door, so she files into it and plays on her phone while she waits. While she’s waiting, a group of hungover-looking college students stumble into line behind her, but they’re maybe still a little drunk because they walk right into her. Chorong yelps as she crashes into the person in front of her.

The person has quick enough reflexes to keep them from both going down, and Chorong goes to say thank you when she sees exactly who caught her.

Even after all these years, Eunji has the same smile. The one like the sun.

“Hey, are you okay?” Eunji asks. 

“I’m fine!” Chorong squeaks out then blushes at how ridiculous she must sound. She clears and says, “Sorry, those kids behind me pushed me.”

Eunji frowns and pokes her head around Chorong to snap, “Hey, watch it or else I’ll make sure they refuse to serve coffee to your hungover asses.” The college kids grumble and glare, but they shuffle a few steps away from Chorong.

“Thanks,” Chorong says, looking between the college kids and Eunji with mild awe. “How’d you do that?”

“Hm?” Eunji says, looking back to Chorong. Her face splits into that familiar grin again as she says, “Oh, I’m friends with one of the workers here. Most of the people in town know it because I’m usually here on the weekends, and those guys definitely know it because I’ve gone through with my threat to them before.”

“Oh,” Chorong says. It has been a while since she’s been home, but has it really been so long that she didn’t even know Eunji was back in town? Then again, why would that come up in her day-to-day life? 

“I’m Eunji, by the way,” Eunji says, holding her hand out.

“Chorong,” Chorong replies, taking her hand and giving it a quick shake.

“Hey,” Eunji says, tilting her head slightly as the line moves forward. “Do I know you?”

Chorong tries not to blush as she stammers, “N-no!” The single word is hard to get out, panic making it get stuck in as she tries not to sound terrified. She fails. She sounds like Eunji just threatened her instead of asking a simple question. She might as well have threatened her though with a question like that. There’s no way Chorong is going to admit to being the girl who told Eunji to get out of school when they were eight. “No,” Chorong repeats more calmly. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh,” Eunji says. She sounds kind of disappointed, but Chorong doesn’t want to get her hopes up. Eunji runs a hand through her hair and gives her that same, charming smile, seventeen years later. It still makes Chorong’s heart flutter. “You just kind of looked like… You know what, never mind.” The smile turns bashful as she ducks her head. She pulls out her phone and holds it out to Chorong, meeting her eyes again. “We should get coffee some time,” Eunji tells her. The smile is back, bright and confident and absolutely butterfly inducing. 

Chorong can’t believe it. Her crush from when she was eight years-old is standing in front of her now, asking her for a coffee date. Is this really happening? What are the chances Chorong runs into her like this seventeen years later? Biting her lip, Chorong says, “I have to bring food back to my family for breakfast, but I’m here for the rest of the w