every morning, just as the sun peeks through the curtains, seulgi rolls out of bed, hair mussed and resembling a bird’s nest. she stretches out, smiling sleepily as her back gives a satisfying crack. after a quick brush, she shrugs into her swimsuit and some shorts, grabs her gym bag, then pads out into the snu campus.

 

she slowly heads down to the sports complex, weaving through the once confusing roads, eventually making it down the hill to the sizable building. swiping her student card, she waves to the cute receptionist, already blushing. 

 

“morning, seulgi unnie.”

 

“goood morning. treat yourself to a coffee, you work too hard.”

 

the girl just ducks her head, “thank you, unnie.”

 

giving her a little salute, seulgi beelines to the changing room. throwing her things into her locker, she steps out of the changing room into the empty swimming pool. 

 

grinning, she kicks off her flip-flops, breathing in a long, deep breath before diving into the deep, kicking lazily through the water. a ritual since the wee age of 5, she lets herself float in the void for five minutes, staring up at the tall arches of the pool. the weird, plastic-like bubbling in her ears that once scared her was now a soothing lullaby, almost meditative in its consistency. it’s the best white noise for when she wants to think or just be. 

 

soon after, she slides her goggles on, and returns to the edge, only to give a swift kick that would kickstart her hour-long practice. once satisfied, she pushes herself up onto the floor and shakes out her hair, droplets flying straight into irene’s face.

 

“oh, for the love of god, I told you to stop drying off like a dog in front of my louboutins,” she whines, throwing a towel straight at her face before gingerly dabbing the water off of her own face, “you know full well just the products on my face right now cost a month of rent.”

 

“it’s just water, hyun,” still, irene steps away from her as she towels off her hair, rubbing at her face before sitting next to the brunette, “where’s the goods, boss?”

 

she rolls her eyes, daintily procuring a bagel from her handbag, “you joke, but you know there is a very good chance that I will own every company worth anything in a decade.”

 

“and the world will be better for it,” she says through a mouthful of bagel, to which she tuts.

 

“did your mother never teach you anything, you overgrown preschooler?” 

 

she swallows, grinning, “she did. university stripped me down and made me a savage.”

 

the double major scoffs, sipping from her caffe bene cup, “please. all I’ve seen it do to you is somehow make you worse at talking to girls and indulging in one too many cups of ramen.”

 

she squawks, putting a hand over her heart. “I am more than competent at talking to either , thank you very much.” 

 

“oh?” she sets down her cup, then slides right up against the swimmer, face inches from her as she whispers, “flirt with me.”

 

seulgi freezes, words caught in as her gaze flits down to her lips before returning to meet her gaze, boring into hers. the dare dances in her eyes, urging her to close the gap.

 

she swallows, acutely aware of the silence stretching, before lunging to engulf her in her arms, rubbing her still wet figure against hers.

 

“seulgi! oh my god, I’m going to kill you!” she attempts to wriggle out of her grasp, smacking at her head and arms as she laughs, lifting her off of the bench, “I’m wearing chanel, you absolute neanderthal!” 

 

“ooga ooga,” she rumbles in her best neanderthal impression, “no speak korean, ooga.”

 

irene just hisses, “you put me down right now or I’m telling your brother you were the one that crashed his bike into the postbox.” 

 

she promptly drops her back onto her feet, glancing at a nonexistent watch, “would you look at the time, I should wash up and go to class.” she grabs her flip-flops, plants a kiss on her head, and starts running, “thanks for breakfast!” she yells, disappearing around a corner.

 

“get back here you little !” she glances down, sighing at the water dripping off of her, “goddamnit.”

---

a quick rewind.

 

seulgi had always been aware of joohyun, beginning in middle school. considering their school was in the gangnam district, it was pretty much expected that she’d be surrounded by rich brats. since she had only gotten in as she lived on the cusp of seocho and gangnam and could barely compare, she tried to stay lowkey - sticking to her desk in homeroom, trading banter with the girls she sat next to, but not bothering to make interclass friendships. 

 

she did well enough for herself that she didn’t get bullied, but you never knew with korean schoolkids. you were either too ugly or too pretty, too fat or too skinny, too standoffish or too friendly. hell, just being disliked by the class president or the most popular kid in the class might be enough.

 

thankfully the class president was seungwan, who she’d been friends with since kindergarten. naturally kind and gentle, she’s easily one of the most liked class presidents, always willing to help out with homework or offer snacks to kids whose harried mothers had forgotten to pack anything. 

 

even in first year, she’s heard whispers of the gorgeous bae joohyun, class president of 2-5 and second in the entire year. students didn’t quite clamour to see her face through class windows, but most took longer than necessary looks whenever she passed in the hallway. boys practically tripped over their feet trying to give her banana milk, muffins, letters, and god knows what else in an attempt to win her favour. despite the month-long ribbing they know they’ll get, they still try to get even a small smile and a “thank you”.

 

it’s only in high school that she actually comes across her. she’d been sitting in homeroom during lunch, absentmindedly taking bites of kimbap with one hand as she read homer in the other. her friends have long since abandoned any attempts to bring her outside, knowing she’d rather bury her head in a book or daydream about swimming practice.

 

she flinches when the door slides open, mid-chew when she looks up to see joohyun taking a quick survey of the room, grinning when her eyes land on seulgi. she strides over, pulling up the chair in front of seulgi’s desk and sitting leisurely.

 

“hi! you’re seulgi, right?”

 

seulgi swallows, self-conscious for the first time in a long, long while, “uhm. yes, sunbae.”

 

joohyun tilts her head, eyes dancing in amusement, “you’re cuter than I thought you’d be. you have rice on your mouth, by the way.”

 

she sputters, pawing at awkwardly. the senior watches a couple seconds before shaking her head, reaching out and plucking the grain of rice off. seulgi just stares as joohyun flicks it away, leaning forward again, elbows propped on seulgi’s desk as she leans on her hands.

 

“I heard you’re really good at english. annoyingly so.” she quirks a brow, “that true?”

 

“well, I enjoy it, sure.” seulgi stutters. she feels like she’d be fidgeting with her glasses if she had any. 

 

joohyun waves dismissively, “not the time to be humble, kid. I need the real thing.”

 

“okay,” seulgi nods to herself, “yeah, I’m good.”

 

the senior claps her hands together, “awesome! give me an english name.”

 

“p-pardon?”

 

she just narrows her eyes, “and it has to be a pretty one too! nothing weird.”

 

seulgi blinks, but rocks her brain, glancing down at the copy of iliad in front of her, “uhm… what about… irene? it’s based on the greek goddess of peace.”

 

irene taps her chin, brows furrowed, “irene? a goddess, you say?” she smirks at seulgi, “you’re a little fox under that nerd persona, aren’t you?”

 

“what?” seulgi feels her eyes widen as she realises, “no no no, I wasn’t trying to flirt with you, it’s just a pretty name!”

 

joohyun laughs, a gentle tinkling laughter that seulgi gets briefly lost in.

 

“just messing with you, kid. I like it! it’s simple, elegant. I’ll take it.”

 

“thank… you?”

 

“anyway, down to business. I have a favour to ask.” joohyun (irene, now?) blinks prettily, eyes wide and puppy-like, “I’m trying to get into seoul national business, and they want an entrance letter in english. help me? I’ll pay!”

 

seulgi feels herself nodding before she’s fully processed the question.

 

“sure,” says, even as her mind screams (what are you doing ?), “I can help.”

 

irene grins, fully aware of her effect - and suddenly seulgi feels like she chose the wrong name.

 

“thanks, seulgi!”

 

the rest is history.

---

a text comes during photography, the chime from her pocket stopping her briefly as she steps away from the camera, pulling out her phone.

 

her royal highness

you’re paying for my dry cleaning bill 

 

seulgom 🧸

but i’m a broke college student :(((((( 

 

her royal highness

don’t give me that  

there’s a party down near the dorms later 

coming? 

 

seulgom 🧸

the future president? partying? 

 

🖕  

💔

i’ll think about it 

seulgi pockets her phone, smiling apologetically at the woman sitting on the stool in front of her camera. dressed in a floral print dress with a leather jacket draped over her shoulders, there’s a formidable presence about her despite being perched on a simple stool. she’s preoccupied with her phone, clearly losing interest with what the other person on the phone is saying.

 

“trust me yerim, I’ll pay you by the end of the week! just get it done.” seulgi quirks her brow as she lowers her voice in what seems to be an attempt at sounding seductive, “I’ll even give you something… extra.” 

 

apparently it works, as her entire demeanor brightens and she chirp, “I’ll see you friday then! thanks babe.” and she hangs up, turning back to seulgi. “emergency call. tell me what to do, gorgeous.”

 

“just do whatever,” she glances at the sheet next to her, “joy?”

 

“stars need stage names, don’t they?,” she strikes a pose, fanning the leather jacket draped over her shoulders, studs glinting under the studio lights, “you single?”

 

seulgi keeps her face pressed against the camera, pointing to a sign next to her stating ‘NO FLIRTING WITH PHOTOGRAPHERS.’

 

“not even a little? come on, you look like you need a good time.” she strikes another pose, smirking at the camera.

 

“just let me do my job, please.” seulgi lets out an inward sigh, closing her eyes briefly. it’s a 20% assignment. do it for the 20%. she makes a mental note to put joy on the blacklist, angling lower so she can catch the light piercing her eyes, turning black into chocolate brown.

 

“where’s the fun in that?”

 

“you get paid.”

 

“noted.” joy quiets after that, and turns out to be a pretty decent model when ’s shut, confidence exuding off of seulgi’s screen as she takes a look through the gallery.

 

“ooh, send me that one, will you?” a voice chirps from behind the photographer, joy peeking around her shoulder, almost towering over her by sheer presence.

 

“sure. what’s your email?” 

 

“I’ll do you one better.” she whips out a card, a collage of floral print with a white rectangle in the center, simple black sans-serif numbers printed, “text me.” 

 

seulgi sighs, taking the card with a hand and extending an envelope in another, “here’s your payment.”

 

joy pouts, ”so cold.” she plucks the envelope from her fingers and blows a kiss, flouncing out the room.

 

“that’s a character if I’ve ever seen one.” she shakes her head, cleaning up the studio and walking out, heading towards her next class.

---

irene stretches back, cracking her knuckles as her paper on pan-korean politics glares back at her on her screen. tucked into a small nook in the university’s library, the faint smell of old books accompanied with the mahogany bookcases stretching endlessly ahead has become her solace from the stress of outside forces and people. 

 

she tucks her legs into the armchair, closing her eyes briefly as respite from the glare of the screen. when she opens them again, a young blonde stands behind the table, staring at her, slightly wide-eyed. they both blink, and irene glances at her messy bun and half-tucked shirt, clearly harried, lacking sleep, or both. she smiles warmly.

 

“the other seat’s empty, if you need a place to study.”

 

the girl blinks rapidly, gripping her laptop tighter, blush dusting her cheeks. eventually, she nods, silently slipping into the armchair opposite her as she pulls out her textbooks, glancing ever so often back at her. she pretends not to notice, turning back to her paper, though her drive has largely disappeared in the last hour. the blonde proves a quiet tablemate, with only the occasional huff and a mutter that sounded vaguely like “ joy”, but irene isn’t here to judge.

 

she stretches out her arms, groaning softly as her joints crack like gravel crunching against a boot. the girl lets out a snort, and she throws a look.

 

“you try sitting here for five hours, see how your joints like them.” 

 

she manages to look sheepish, brows furrowing briefly before uttering one word, “fair.” her voice is surprisingly high and almost petulant in its delivery.

 

it’s her turn to snort, chuckling as she leans back, “you’re not very talkative, are you?”

 

her head tilts slightly, but her eyes stay on her screen.

 

“well that’s fine. I love the sound of my own voice,” she declares, “at least tell me what your major is so I can decide how much I can torment you.”

 

“what if I don’t have one?” she asks, tone droll.

 

“then I respect that, but will secretly think that it’s extremely stupid to be in snu undeclared and call you ‘’ in my head.”

 

the edge of twitches, and the blonde turn towards her, blinking slowly, “sounds kinda classist.”

 

“I assure you, I treat everyone this way.” irene replies, reaching for her long cold coffee, hissing at the unpleasant aftertaste of cheap coffee grounds.

 

“I believe you.” her eyes flicker, and she takes a deep breath before baring her teeth in a miserable but adorable attempt at a smile, “I’m yerim. and a huge lesbian.” the pseudo-smile disappears, “maybe forget I said that.” 

 

“why would I forget such a beautiful introduction?” irene extends her hand across the table, “name’s irene. high functioning biual.” she winks.

 

yerim stares for a moment before taking her hand, shaking it.

 

irene shakes her head, chuckling, “you and I are going to be good friends, kid.”

---

irene finishes the paper eventually, giving yerim a single pat on the head as she walks past on her way out, laughing at the small “eep” it elicits, “see you around, kit kat.”

 

irene walks out as the sun begins to sink into the horizon, pausing to take a deep breath of the autumn air, sharp but welcoming. she takes a glance at her phone, greeted with a photo of her and seulgi, the latter looking absolutely miserable with her entire form doused in maple syrup, with irene laughing her off next to her. the time reads 5:45, and she opens up her messages again, left with the last message she had sent, still unread.

 

are you coming or not? 

 

you’re turning down free booze, bear 

sent 4:38

 

fun-hating , she sighs, walking towards the parking lot. unlike seulgi, she’d decided to stay at an off-campus apartment, sharing a comfortable studio with a roommate. 

 

she hums to the ‘hospital playlist’ soundtrack on the short ride home, tapping her fingers against her thigh as she makes her way to her floor, twisting the door open to a thrumming electropop song, bass booming throughout the living room. 

 

she sighs, dropping the keys in the key bowl, shrugging her trenchcoat off and laying it on the nearest chair, “what did I say about blasting music on the speakers? do you want us kicked out?”

 

jennie pops her head out the bathroom door, smoky eye half done, “c’mon, we’re going to a party! a girl has to get into the mood.” 

 

“we can get in the mood at 50% volume, cupcake.” she turns the volume down before walking towards her room.

 

“you’re an absolute spoilsport, princess.” jennie huffs, darting back into the bathroom. 

 

irene’s in the midst of picking a dress when her phone vibrates on the bed. she throws a black halter top next to it before picking it up, reading the notification.

 

seulgom 🧸

am i teddy bear or a bear? choose one 

 

her royal highness

why not both 

 

so? 

 

seulgom 🧸

...is it an ‘mt’ 

 

her royal highness

since when has that stopped you 

 

bring your to sicheon apt 27 by 7:30 

 

seulgom 🧸

what if I have plans? 

 

her royal highness

you crack me up, teddy 

 

seulgom 🧸

😒

she sets it down, satisfied, and changes, then heads towards the bathroom to do her makeup. her roommate has migrated to the couch, sipping on a bottle of smirnoff. she glances over and whistles, waggling her eyebrows.

 

“irene bae strikes again. who’re we ing tonight?”

 

“you can whoever you want. I’m getting my absolutely plastered.” she makes her way over to the couch, picking up the vodka bottle sitting on the coffee table, pouring herself a shot glass.

 

“it is a pretty good .” she reaches over to slap it, and irene drops low, performing a as she whoops and waves her arms about. she tires quickly, dropping abruptly into jennie’s lap, eliciting an ungraceful squawk. 

 

“my god, woman, give a girl a warning.” 

 

“what’s the fun in that?” she knocks back her shot, relishing in the sharp burn of it as it glides down . 

 

“you’re hot and all, but only a crazy person would your .” she grunts, pushing irene off of her. she rolls, sinking into the plush couch. 

 

“I feel so loved,” she deadpans.

 

“don’t go crying your privileged rich over me, I’m not worth it.” the brunette peels herself off the couch, offering her hand towards irene, “ready to blow some poor freshmen’s minds?”

 

she takes it, hauling herself up, “let’s do it.”

---

seulgi walks through the dorm halls, hands deep inside her pockets as she approaches the apartment, party already underway. clusters of people are littered across the driveway, red solo cups in hand, some Top 50 song coursing out of the apartment two floors up, lights flashing. 

 

she sighs, mouth set in a grim line as she makes her way up the path into the flat.

 

inside, the flat is packed with bodies, the majority of them gyrating to the song, albeit at varying degrees. a pack of frat boys and their girlfriends huddle around a keg in the hallway, chanting as a sandy haired dwarf does a keg stand. the living room has transformed into a karaoke party, drunken freshman screaming along to ‘titanium’. couples make out on every conceivable surface, littered across walls and counters.

 

she picks her way through the hallway towards the kitchen, where she can hear occasional cheers and boos, emerging out of the crowd to see irene landing a ball straight into a solo cup, cheering as a broad-shouldered jock downs a cup, swaying slightly. seulgi leans against the doorframe, watching as irene systematically demolishes three consecutive rounds, her roommate dancing around her the entire time, whooping and booing at intervals. 

 

they eventually tire, irene dropping her ping pong ball like a mic drop as she exaggeratedly sashays out of the crowd, jennie close behind her.

 

“how many poor sons of es have you hustled tonight?” seulgi asks as they approach her, pushing herself off of the doorframe.

 

“a good baker’s dozen, maybe?” she hiccups, leaning against the brunette beside her, “all in a good day’s work. or night. either or.” 

 

jennie (or jen-jen, she only ever seems to hear her name when irene’s tipsy) smiles, “the night is still young, and I’m in need of a good , so take care of her for me, will you?” she pushes irene towards her, causing her to stumble and fall against her chest, “car’s down the street. thanks, teddy!” 

 

“I have a name, you know!” seulgi calls after her, but she’s already slipped off into the crowd, in search of someone to lay. she sighs, long suffering, as she looks down to the tiny double major in her arms, who’s currently giggling into her jacket, “what am I going to do with you?”

 

“get me a damn drink, that’s what.” irene slurs with bravado, shifting her gaze towards seulgi, eyes still as piercing and dark; unreadable, “staying here sounds pretty good too.” 

 

“how about we get you a glass of water and we can have another round at your house, yeah?” seulgi tugs her towards the fridge, where she pours her a paper cup of water, then starts gently herding the small giant through the hallway, out onto the balcony.

 

irene’s nose wrinkles as the cold hits her face, “nope. cold. in we go.” shaking her head vigorously, she makes to go back in, then gags slightly, “ooh, shouldn’t have done that. mm mm.” 

 

she sighs, taking the cup from her and digging into her back pocket, brandishing a plastic bag that she places in front of her face. she rubs her back with one hand and pulls her hair back with the other as she retches, murmuring, “there, there. get all your terrible decision making out.”

 

“ off.” she replies succinctly, taking the tissue she offers her, wiping . seulgi offers the water afterwards, waiting for her to gargle and spit before taking the cup and throwing it into the bag, chucking them both into a bin as they take the elevator then walk slowly down the driveway, irene still leaning against her arm as they approach the suv. 

 

seulgi opens the passenger door, helping irene into the car before engaging in a brief tug of war over her handbag. she whines intelligibly, too tired to be coherent, as seulgi tugs it away from her, clearly falling asleep. seulgi spends another minute struggling to get her to stay still as she puts on her seatbelt for her, eventually pulling out of the driveway, towards irene’s apartment. 

 

she hums softly, glancing towards joohyun at a stoplight. half covered by hair, her head leans against the headrest, pale skin almost glowing in the moonlight. moments like this are the only time seulgi really ever feels like joohyun and not irene was shining through - peaceful, quiet, with nothing to prove to anyone.

 

she reaches over to push the hair out of joohyun’s face, touch featherlight as she curls it behind her ear. joohyun shifts, one eye opening to look at seulgi. she stares, scrutinising her, before one hand comes up to tug seulgi’s hovering hand into hers, placing it in her lap. the eye closes, face serene. seulgi blinks, before remembering to drive, clearing as she presses forward.

 

a short drive later, seulgi pulls into the parking lot, turning off the ignition. joohyun’s in a deep sleep, head falling forward against her chest, shoulders rising and falling slowly. seulgi steps out of the  car, slinging irene’s handbag on one shoulder as she walks to the other side of the car, tapping the handbag’s owner on the shoulder lightly. joohyun starts, snuffling slightly as she raises her head towards seulgi, blinking sleepily.

 

“let’s get you into bed, hyun.” 

 

a sleepy smile spreads across irene’s face as she shakes her head slowly, “mm mm. I’m not walking.”

 

seulgi gives the girl an exasperated look, “hyun.”

 

irene makes grabby hands, pouting, “carry me in your thick swimmer arms, teddy.”

 

the sober one of the two girls rolls her eyes, crossing her arms, “how convincing.”

 

the sleepy girl smiles, nose scrunching as she points to herself, “that’s me. future politician and silver-tongued swindler.” 

 

seulgi reaches in, taking off her seatbelt, “you’re awfully well-spoken for someone who threw up a few minutes ago.”

 

irene scoffs, “I’ll have you know I am a very well-spoken person generally.” 

 

“less speaking, more walking, bae.”

 

the older girl swings her legs out, hopping onto the ground, ”there. I walked,” she looks over to the less-than-amused younger girl expectantly, “up!”  

 

seulgi sighs, turning and kneeling, groaning exaggeratedly as she clambers onto back, “you’re going to kill me one day, hyun.”

 

“and today is not that day. up we go.” irene nudged the younger girl on the side with her heel like a horse. seulgi in turn rolls her eyes and walks into the building. 

 

they make their way into the lift, seulgi bending her knees so irene’s head doesn’t hit the entrance. while irene laid her head against her back as they wait, seulgi had her eyes trained on the screen as it blinks, floors passing by.

 

the elevator grinds to a halt, and they step out, performing an elaborate dance of ‘find the keys’, finally entering the house. seulgi drops her off on the couch, irene immediately sinking into the couch, groaning happily at the soft fabric. seulgi pours a glass of water and digs around the medicine cabinet, triumphantly pulling out an advil packet. she walks back to the couch, setting the glass down.

 

“this is a pit stop, not the finish line, hyun.”

 

“just leave me here to rest. my days on this planet are over.” the supine girl groans.

 

“get up, vomit lady.”

 

irene grimaces, “nope. doesn’t work.”

 

“yeah, I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth.”

 

irene hauls herself back up, grabbing the glass and chugging, setting it back down with a thump, “happy, seulgom?”

 

“ecstatic. now, into bed.” seulgi pulls irene up by her arms, tugging her towards the bedroom.

 

“at least wine and dine me first, dumb dumb.” irene gets into bed slowly, arms and legs still unresponsive to her brain’s efforts. 

 

seulgi blushes, but ignores her, focusing on setting the advil next to her bed, “I’ll grab another glass of water for tomorrow morning.” she makes to leave, but irene grabs onto her hand. she turns, slightly exasperated.

 

“goodnight kiss?” irene blinks rapidly, clearly acting coy but passing off as someone with something in their eye.

 

seulgi just chuckles, “alright, you big baby.”

 

she leans in, about to plant a kiss on her hair, when irene surges up, lips meeting hers. a sound comes from , slightly choked, but irene falls back onto her bed before seulgi can respond, looking like a cat that got the cream.

 

irene waves, smiling smugly, “g’night, teddy.”, and turns over, closing her eyes, a light snore floating up from her almost immediately.

 

seulgi stands, frozen, for a good minute, lips still tingling from the kiss. her fingers brush against them briefly before she shakes her head, walking out to get a glass of water. she closes the door behind her before she leans against it, sinking onto the floor.

 

she groans softly, burying her hands into her face, “you’re killing me, hyun.”