In these four corner walls, among the messy sheets and the clothes scattered floor, I could say that this raven haired beauty is mine. Every inch of her that I touch, kiss and make love to belongs to me. Son Chaeyoung belongs to me… but only inside this bedroom…


I couldn’t help but smile, as she pouts cutely while trying to decipher which is which among the clothes on the floor.


“Stay.”


“Mmm?”


“Stay for breakfast… I make a mean vegetable omelet that is to die for.”


She smile apologetically, “It’s ok Mina… I’ll just go to a drive thru on my way back.”


I could only chuckle at the irony of it all.


She looks at me surprisingly… “What’s so funny?”


“I just feel the similarities…”


“Of what?”


“Me and the drive thru… I feel like that’s all I am to you… a drive thru where you could go if you want something fast and cheap…”
Chaeyoung sighs heavily as if I’m nothing more but an inconvenience for her…


“Mina… please don’t do this.”


“Don’t do what, Chaeyoung?”


“This… this thing that you’re doing now… I already have enough of that with Somi.”


“Then, why don’t you go sleep with her instead of coming here?”


Until now… Chaeyoung never made me feel like I deserve to have an answer…


“I’ll call you later…”


She plants a kiss on my forehead, completely avoiding the topic once again.


“I’m not asking for too much Chaeng, I already gave up on that… but I just wish that maybe for once, you will you know…” I could hear the neediness in my voice but what can I do? I need her “act like you care, like take me for ice cream, actually try to get to know me… like don’t you think it’s funny? how we practically did every position, but we never even been to one date?”


“Goodbye Mina.”


She puts on her shirt and didn’t even look at me to say goodbye. This scene is just way too familiar, her walking away and me wishing she could just stay.


And the moment she stepped out of my bedroom, the only person I wish to have, belonged to the world once again…


*


Chaeyoung tries to keep her eyes on the road and off the girl glaring suspiciously at her.


“Where were you last night?”


And it finally came out…


“At home. asleep.”


Somi knew it was a lie and as bitter as the truth is, she wanted to hear it even if she have to end up beating it out of the other girl.


“Asleep where? On top of Mina?”


Their heads almost slams the dashboard as Somi’s queries made Chaeyoung lose her control of the vehicle.


“Damn it Somi!”


“No… damn you Chaeng! You think I don’t know what you do?!”


Here it comes again, Somi’s violent personality and tirade of insults that Chaeyoung has to put up with.


Somi gives one hard blow to Chaeyoung’s cheek. And as much as Chaeyoung wants to hit back, she takes every blow and hit knowing that the moment she decides to retaliate, she might not be able to stop.


“If she satisfy you that much then go be with her!!! I don’t need you, you go back to your effing sl*t and sleep with her all you want!!!!”


Somi’s harsh words was enough to cut right through Chaeyoung’s composure. It made the raven haired girl swerve to the side of the road and grab Somi’s wrists in anger, shaking the girl out of frustration.


“You know what?! You can call me whatever name you want!!! but say something about the girl I love and I’ll hurt you… you understand me?!”


Immediately Somi froze and the anger in her eyes quickly turned into fear, the fear of losing Chaeyoung. Suddenly the hits turn to gentle touches as Somi tries to woo Chaeyoung back again…


“You love her? what about me?” Chaeyoung tries to shut her senses to JesSomi’s pleadings, “I love you too Chaeng, nobody can love you like me, Chaeng… If I do this it’s just because I’m scared to lose you. I’m nothing without you, you know that? and I know you still love me, you do, right?


The look of complete desperation in Somi’s eyes and the sight of the self-inflicted cuts on her wrists made Chaeyoung lie once again.


“Yeah, I do.”


And Chaeyoung closed her eyes as she imagines kissing the lips of someone else instead of the one she’s with now.


*


The alcohol felt almost like an acid as it went down my throat. I was never a drinker but after what happen last night, I just needed something to forget. But after a few glasses I push the drink away. The alcohol is supposed to help me cloud my judgment, but all it did was make me crave Chaeyoung more.


The two of us met in a mutual friend’s party and immediately hit it off. I was single and she just got out of a bad relationship. We dance the night away and make love til the dawn. Me and Chaeyoung skip the pleasantries of candlelight dinners and movie dates and went straight to . We were bored and was a good way to pass the time…


Everything is good until someone falls in love… and in this case, that idiot is me… Soon, I was starting to get addicted to her kisses and her touches could bring me to my knees. Every flick of her tongue, every nibble, every bite drove me senseless, as if something was in control of me. Nobody could make me scream like Chaeyoung, nobody could make love to me like Chaeyoung, nobody could make me want someone as much as I want Chaeyoung … Nobody…


Eventually she got back with her girlfriend and I became nothing more to her but her second best. When Somi drives her nuts she comes to me, when she gets drunk she runs to me, and even if she’s just bored and had time to spare she would call on me.


I tried hard to quit her, but the moment I see her in my doorstep, all my walls crumble and I forgot why I resisted in the first place. Being with her makes me forget the difference between right and wrong. She was the best mistake in my life that I chose to do over and over again.


When she steps out of my bedroom, my senses would immediately take control of me, scolding me for letting her use me again. I was foolish and as long as Chaeyoung lives in this world, I’ll stay foolish.


“Oh c’mon Mina just one dance?”


Usually when I say no to guys, they usually move on to their next targets but Bambam seems persistent.


“C’mon… what’s one dance?”


“I don’t feel like it… I’m sorry Bambam.”


My eyes quickly found her dancing with the devil, I never dance with anybody in the club hoping that maybe just maybe, she’ll ask me to dance with her just like the time we first met.


I felt like I was suffocating when I saw Somi arms slither around Chaeyoung’s neck. A part of me died the moment, Somi presses her lips against hers…


Chaeyoung knows that she does this to me, kill me a little bit every time she chooses to walk away and go back to her. But God! Could I really blame her? its my fault and I hate myself for coming alive the moment she returns to me.


“You know what Bam, you want to get out of here?”


Bam looks at me confusedly… one minute I was shooing him off and now I’m inviting him over.


“Sure.”


“Let’s go.”


*


“Hey…”


I regretted it the moment I let Bam touch me. Chaeyoung’s strawberry scent in my sheets was all I have left of her, and now Bam’s perfume is starting to overpower it.


“How about we go grab some breakfast, I know this-”


“Bam I’m tired… can you just show your way out?”


I cut him off before he gets any other idea of what our “relationship” might turn out to be.


“You know what Mina, you don’t love Chaeyoung.”


“What?!”


“You just like her for the thrill of it, like the feeling of chasing her, of being the other woman. But what if she goes and love you back? That will probably bore you, right?


“F*** you…”


Bam loves triumphantly knowing that he was able to get inside of my head.


“Damn it, Mina!!! Why are you letting her do this to you?! Why can’t you see that there are others out there who could treat you better? Huh?!”


“You think I don’t know that?! Cause I do, Bam! but no matter how much I tell myself the truth is, I don’t want anybody else, I only need Chaeyoung…”


“That’s because you never give other people a chance… if you give me a chance then maybe you’ll finally know that there is a life besides Chaeyoung and outside this bedroom…”


He kneels down and takes my hand… I could see the sincerity in his eyes but how come it has no effect on me?


“Give me a chance to make you happy.”


“I’m sorry Bam, but one miserable person is enough…”


Bam sighs in defeat and finally stands up…


“How long are you going to do this?”


“I wish I know…”


*


Mina tries to avoid the crowd and the banging music and find seclusion out of all places, in the club’s bathroom. But her world immediately shook as Chaeyoung pulls her into one of the cubicles and pins her arms above her head.


“So, what’s up with You and Bam?”


Chaeyoung’s voice was low but it was clear enough for Mina…


“He’s kinda like me to you… I just used him when I’m bored and got nothing else to do.”


Mina let out a yelp when Chaeyoung punches the wall beside her.


“Don’t you ever compare your buddy with what I have with you!”


Mina scoffs at her face…


“Why Chaeyoung? Tell me… what makes us so different?”


Chaeyoung grips on her arms tighter…


“TELL ME CHAEYOUNG!!! WHAT AM I TO YOU?!”


And when Chaeyoung realizes how absurd she was acting, she quickly let go leaving a red mark around Mina’s wrist. She takes a step back afraid that the monster she has become would hurt the one she loves.


“I’m so sorry, Mina… I’ll go.”


“No, you’re not.”


This time it was Mina who needed an answer, wrapping her arms around Chaeyoung’s neck, to pull closer… The strawberry scent was able to calm her agitated senses.


“Please Chaeng… tell me… what am I to you?” she whispers softly on her neck.


“I thought I love you…but I don’t know what that means anymore, cause doesn’t love means you want the other to be happy? But why can’t I do that? Why can’t I leave you alone and let you be happy?”


Chaeyoung finally start to break down, she reach the boiling point where all her frustrations, hurt and insecurities come crashing down on her. She never felt so weak, her grip on Mina grew tighter afraid that if she let go, she won’t be able to get back again.


“Don’t you know how much it kills me to see you with him? How much I want to hurt him when I think of the things he does to you?”


“He doesn’t mean anything to me.” Mina quieted the distress girl with a soft kiss on the lips, then she softly brushes her lips on Chaeyoung’s bruised hand.


“Maybe that’s why I keep going back to Somi because were both alike. We both have this deluded ideas about love, we confuse anger, jealousy and lust for love and passion, but we don’t know any better.


Chaeyoung cups Mina’s face, her eyes showed every single emotion that she have kept from the girl.


“And then you came, you showed me how good it feels to have someone love you, you made the simplest things special. But I’m a mess Mina… I can’t give you the things that you deserve, or even show you off to the world because I don’t feel I’ m deserving. I don’t deserve you, I never did… You are the only good thing in my life and here I’am dragging you down with me and I can’t let that happen…”


Chaeyoung plants a kiss on Mina’s forehead and softly whispers…


“What you are to me Mina… you’re the girl that I love and you’re the girl who deserves better.”


Chaeyoung kisses her softly in the lips before walking away, taking Mina’s broken heart with her.


*


Chaeyoung tries to pull the girl back to bed with her.


“Mina… don’t go baby.”


“Let go of me!”


The girl angrily tries to pull her arm away…


“C’mon Mina...”


“It’s Somi!!! Not Mina…”


Those words were enough to knock some sense into Chaeyoung…


“Somi… I’m… sorry… I’m so, so sorry...”


“No, you know what? the only person that should be sorry is me… for loving someone who never gives a sh!t in the first place.”


Chaeyoung laughs at the absurdity of it all…


“Love? You call what we had love? You choke the life out of me! you hit me everytime you see me talking with somebody else like I’m your property!!! I was never happy with you but you’re too psychotic to see that…”


“Psychotic? You want to see psychotic? I’ll show you psychotic!!!”


And Somi’s arms flew straight at Chaeyoung as the girl raise her arms to her face to block the hits. Until finally, Chaeyoung pins her down in bed.


“STOP IT! STOP THIS SOMI!!!”


When Somi saw the anger in Chaeyoung’s face, those ice cold eyes suddenly melted into desperation…


“What are we doing Somi? What happen to us?”


Chaeyoung’s tears starts falling…


“We just love too much, Chaeng”


“No, Somi… this isn’t love… We were never in love.”


Chaeng plants a soft kiss on Somi’s forehead.


“Chaeng?” she caresses Chaeyoung’s bruised face “I’m so sorry for doing this baby… but you made me, I was so hurt when you call that bi-"


Chaeyoung didn’t need an explanation, it was time to tell Somi the words she should have said a long time ago.


“No, don’t apologize… it’s both our fault. We both hurt each other and it’s time for us to stop.”


The words turned Somi frantic…


“No, no, no… it’s not! We belong together, Chaeyoung can’t you see that? You can’t leave me! you can’t!


Chaeyoung stood up and left Somi pleading in bed…


“No, you’re wrong. I don’t belong to you… I belong to Mina.”


Somi felt frantic, never did Chaeyoung do this before and she would rather be dead than live without Chaeng She was ready to do anything to make Chaeyoung stay.


“STEP OUT OF THAT DOOR AND I’LL KILL MYSELF!”


Chaeyoung turns around before she whispers.


“Then I’ll see you in hell”


Every step away from Somi felt like knives being pulled off from her. The pain and the bleeding was still there but at least she knows, she’ll make it out alive.


*


“Ooohhh… did you ever suggest to your chick to be a UFC fighter or something?” Tzuyu comments after seeing Chaeyoung’s bruise cheek. “I’m surprise that you still haven’t went Chris Brown on that psycho.”


“I don’t need to, if I do that it would be like I’m turning into her.”


Tzuyu smiles before handing the warm coffee cup to her bestfriend. She had seen Chaeyoung in her worse times, Somi just stole the life out of her but now, Tzuyu could actually see a spark of life in Chaeyoung’s eyes.


“So, is it for sure this time?” Tzuyu asks in trepidation…


“Yeah… I think it is.”


“Hope so…”


“I want to be better, Tzu.”


“You’re better, you’re a great person Chaeng, Somi just rob you of that but you were such an idiot to notice.”


“I just feel wrong… you know… everytime I try to leave she hurts herself like the guilt is killing me.”


“What made you finally leave?”


“Mina”


“That’s good…” Tzuyu sips from her cup, glad that finally Chaeyoung woke up from her nightmare thanks to this girl name Mina.


“I want to better for her… I want to be the girl that she deserves.”


“Well buddy” Tzuyu pats Chaeyoung in the back “she’s a lucky girl.”


And the two bestfriends silently keep each other company as they watch the night goes by.


*


Tired and exhausted, Mina was ready to collapse on her bed after a day at work. But then, she caught sight of the dark haired girl, seemingly waiting for her by her apartment door. It was a few months ago that she last seen the girl but her effect on her still remain strong.


“Chaeng?”


“Mina, hi.”


Mina could hear the hesitation in Chaeyoung’s voice…


“Here…”


Chaeyoung hands her a lush bouquet of hydrangeas.


“Thanks… so, ummm… how you been?”


“I’m actually doing good… I got a new job and ahhh I’m sharing a place now with Tzuyu, so yeah… hehe… so, how about you?”


Mina could tell Chaeyoung that she left her job and that she finally decided to open up that café with her cousin Sana. But Mina think that she don’t need to right now, all Chaeyoung needed to hear was three words…


“I miss you…”


Chaeyoung didn’t know how 3 words could change her whole life. She was wondering for weeks if Mina will ever take her back, but her words made her sure that there was still a chance, that Mina would still give her a chance.


Mina didn’t need to say anything else, all she needed to do was take Chaeyoung back into her arms.


"How come you didn’t tell me you’re here?”


“I… ahhh… wanted to surprise you” Chaeyoung forces a smile… “surprise.”


Mina chuckles softly, but slowly her eyes started welling up and soon her tears start dropping profusely… Finally, it wasn’t a dream anymore. Chaeyoung had come back to her and maybe this time… she’ll finally stay…


“You weren’t surprise?” Chaeyoung brushes Mina’s tears away with her thumb.


“No, I knew you’d come back” Mina smile between her tears “I just don’t know when.”


And just like that their apologies were felt by the way they hold each other.


“How long are you going to stay?” Mina says pleadingly…


“As long as you want me to…”


Chaeyoung reassures her confession with a passionate kiss, until Mina starts nudging Chaeyoung’s hand, ready to lead the girl back to her bedroom. But Chaeyoung holds her still…


“No, ummm… Mina I was wondering...”


A gentle smile graces Mina's lips as she sees Chaeyoung caressing her hand.


“Would you like to go out with me and maybe get some ice cream?”


*


And at 2 am, while most of the world is asleep, the two girls are wide awake. Their laughter and voices echoes around the empty ice cream shop while their ice cream melts in their bowls. But they didn’t care, cause right now, time seems to stand still as they enjoy every second of their first date.

THE END