"Alright! We're done Shuhua, you can go home."

The flashing lights and noisy shutter sound from the camera had finally stopped. Shuhua loosened up her muscles, heaving a quiet sigh. Her lips lifted into a tight smile as she bowed with a small 'thankyou' to the photographer, who in return gave her a thumb up.

As soon as she was off set, her manager draped a blanket over her bare shoulder, "your phone's been ringing. I think it's Minnie," she told her.

Shuhua nodded, proceeding to change into her casual clothes, a green shirt and comfortable training pants. She checked her phone that was left on the table.

It was almost evening, and she hadn't eaten a bite. Things have been rough, not just for her, but for everyone that was left. She had lost mostly her appetite since then, especially after she got into this job.

There were a few messages and missed calls when she checked her notifications, 'call me back' was her last text.

"ShuShu~" 

At the second ring, Minnie had picked up, and her cheerful voice brought an unconscious smile on its own to her lips.

"Hey unnie, sorry I just finished my photoshoot. What's wrong?" She asked while pacing around the room to gather up her scattered things. She tried to remember where she had put her purse.

"Are you free tonight? Wanna have a movie night?"

Shuhua quietly cheered when she found it covered between the magazines on the table. She couldn't bear to lose it again. "I am free. And movie night sounds good. Did you invite Yuqi? She would sulk if you didn't."

There was a light laugh at the receiving end, and Shuhua smiled again, standing still in the middle of her messy waiting room, eyes darting around to make sure she had all of her things in her bag. "She has a schedule until late, said she'd come if she could."

"Great. My place at seven?" After being rushed by her manager, she walked out of the shooting set with her bag hanging on one shoulder.

"Okay! See you soon, Shu~"

"Is Minnie coming over?" Her manager asked as soon as the call ended. She let out a sigh once she sat down on the leather seat of the black van that was waiting in the basement. Shuhua put her phone inside her bag, nodding her head, "I'm free tomorrow right?"

"Yes, refrain from drinking too much," she reminded, and Shuhua chuckled dismissively, "don't worry unnie, I'm not an idol anymore, there's less to think about."

The car was quiet as it drove back to her apartment. She was drowned in the music from the airpod dangling in both of her ears, eyes casting outside to the busy streets of Seoul. She wondered when she would feel alright. It's been a few years, the music in her phone was getting sadder and sadder, and the stacked up loneliness crawled sneakily under her skin.

…

Minnie came over earlier than she had expected. The older girl had memorized her door password, and the sound rang through the living room when she was still wearing a mere towel over her freshly showered, body with her hair tied messily into a top bun.

Shuhua considered running to her room, but then she would appear stupid. She hadn't even taken a sip from the glass of water in her grip. Thus, she decided to keep rooted in her place, drinking the water nonchalantly as she waited for the girl to come in.

"Shu-" Minnie who was about to greet her with her usual cheerful demeanor, stopped dead in her tracks when their eyes met. The girl's eyes darted up and down, processing, before they bulged out of their sockets at the sight. She immediately averted her gaze away with her cheeks slightly painted pink. "Oh, sorry," she then said, clearing awkwardly.

Shuhua chuckled at the cute reaction, finishing her glass before putting it down to the sink. "You're cute unnie, you've seen my skin more than this before," she said amusedly.

The girl was still fidgeting in her place. She cleared again, "uh, it was years ago, and you were, uh, young… back then."

Shuhua raised her eyebrows in surprise, surely not expecting the reply, "wow. Are you telling me that you see me as a woman now?"

"That's-" Minnie had her eyes trailed back to her in protest, but upon seeing her in that state once more, she averted her gaze again, now in exasperation. "Just, put on some clothes, Shu!" She whined.

She let out a satisfied laugh, "I'm just teasing you, unnie. Go pick the movie, I'll be out soon."

Shuhua left the flustered girl alone as she walked down the hallway to her room. She chuckled to herself with a shake of her head.

Cute.

…

The older girl, with her long black hair and her bangs still, much to Shuhua's dismay over their abandoned promise, and a black shirt with short jeans, was sitting on the couch with her back slightly hunched. She noticed her focused look with her eyebrows furrowed into a deep frown, browsing through the movie choices seriously.

"Want some popcorn?" Shuhua let her presence be noticed, and Minnie finally let go of that painful expression, replaced with a small smile as she looked at her. 

"Sure. What do you want to watch?" She asked, for a second Shuhua noticed the way her eyes trailed down to her oversized white shirt and shorts for a flash second, before settling back to meet her gaze. 

She held the urge to chuckle, "anything is fine," she said, walking to the kitchen.

"How about Birds of Prey? Seems fun," Minnie said, which Shuhua replied with a simple, "sure."

Shuhua walked back with a bowl full of popcorn, and Minnie was already settling comfortably with one arm draped over the couch head, the other playing with her phone.

She put the snack on the coffee table before plopping down beside the older girl, close enough that their thighs would graze each other. Shuhua noticed the way Minnie would tense a little bit when it did, and she wondered why the older girl was behaving really jittery tonight.

"Why unnie? Are you nervous sitting beside me?" Shuhua tilted her head curiously, a small smirk decorated her expression when Minnie looked away quickly with a dry chuckle. "Let's start," she said dismissively.

Shuhua giggled, leaning her head slightly closer so that it would rest on the older girl's shoulder. She noticed again how tense Minnie was, and she couldn't help the amused smile on her lips.

…

Obviously, even when Margot Robbie was doing a really splendid job portraying Harley Quinn, none of the girls were actually paying attention to the movie. With the loud sound of guns and fights going to deaf ears, Shuhua had her mind wandering here and there, while Minnie was just strangely quiet.

"Is everything alright with you, unnie?" Shuhua had decided to ask before she would go mad from her own wired thoughts, eyes still locked on the bright screen.

Minnie hummed, "more or less. And you?"

"Not bad," she sighed, "I watched your latest youtube video, it's fun," Shuhua said, distancing herself from the girl's warm body, albeit a tad bit reluctant, to look into her dark chocolate eyes.

The latter smiled at her gratefully, "thanks. I saw your pictorial too. You're getting really thin, Shu," her expression shifted to a frown. 

Shuhua was intrigued by her expressive features. Minnie had always had that with her, but when she was younger, she was way too occupied by something, or someone, else that she hadn't appreciated much of it.

"Well, I can't be a chubby model, can I now?" Shuhua smiled reassuringly as she turned her body to the older girl, giving her full attention, "don't worry about it, I'm fine."

"Are you?" Minnie raised her eyebrows knowingly.

The smile on her face faltered into a weak curve of her lips, "I don't know. But saying I'm fine helps me feel better about it."

There was a brief silence falling heavily between them. From the emotions swirling in Minnie's eyes, one of hesitation, a mix of sadness, concern, hurt, and slight anger, she knew the older girl was not about to let the topic go.

"She left you, us, Shuhua. You deserve so much better," Minnie said. 

She then smiled, her gaze molded into a gentler glint, " we deserve better."

Shuhua let her eyes look deeper, searching from the girl's right to her left dark brown abyss. This was not the first time she had spent time alone with the older girl, and within the years, she had understood her more than anyone could probably do.

"Unnie, you don't have to try to make me feel better. Your heart is broken too."

Minnie let the gloom flashed by for a split second, it didn't go unnoticed. "It's…" the older girl sighed in defeat, "I've moved on Shu."

"Don't lie," she said sternly, "if you had, you wouldn't call me to keep you company on our debut anniversary."

Minnie was quiet, eyes looking away in guilt. 

But she understood. After all, the dread was crawling under her skin too, and she was glad Minnie was here with her.

"It's alright," Shuhua reached out to cup the girl's jawline, thumb grazing her cheek as she caressed her warm skin delicately. Gently, she turned the girl's head to meet her gaze, a small smile on her lips, "it's okay to feel lonely, unnie."

"I don't-"

"Stop lying to me," Shuhua looked her right into her fragile eyes, the ones which tried the hardest to appear fine. "Because I, too, am lonely. And with you here, it always makes me feel okay," she whispered.

She felt the shift in the air as Minnie's glance, ever so briefly, darted to her lips. She hadn't noticed when, but there were mere inches separating their noses, and without meaning to, Shuhua her lower lip amidst the tense air. 

She breathed slowly from her suffocated lungs. With the increasing thump of her heart, her gaze was fixed solely on the girl's conflicted look.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Minnie mumbled weakly, but her eyes were no longer there to look into her own. 

"Why not?" Shuhua asked quietly.

Minnie's answer came with the gentle brush of her lips against hers, resembling a touch of feather. Shuhua closed her eyes with the burst of her heart thumping in her own ears loudly. She tilted her head when Minnie parted her lips, tongue running against the softness of her lower half, and Shuhua inhaled sharply at the warmth.

The taste of the girl's lip balm lingered like a burn mark even after her lips were no longer pressed against hers. Shuhua fluttered her eyes open, breath short and heavy with unexpected pleasure that it brought.

When her sight had cleared, she hadn't expected to see Minnie looking down at her with the pool of darkness in her eyes. Perhaps it was the product of their loneliness. They were just trying to fill up the void that grew to an uncontainable desire to feel each other.

Or perhaps, it had always been more. The way they held back, brushing off the recurring cuddles and touches as platonic comfort over the years, having no one but each other to heal.

Nevertheless, the second kiss came down with a crash, chasing like they were parched and famished, like they had been waiting forever to put the thoughts into hurried actions. Minnie had pulled her by her waist, and Shuhua's hands found their way to the girl's shoulders as she threw her leg over her lap, straddling her.

She gasped when the girl's fingers grazed slightly against the skin on her thighs, and their tongue mashed, exploring and desperate. Shuhua pulled her impossibly close with her fingers tangled between the strands of her soft hair. 

Minnie's hands felt rougher, more calloused over the years of focused exercises. She had never thought about how good they would feel against the softness of the skin underneath her shirt. She whimpered, swallowing down the bubbling moan in .

The older girl didn't give her a chance to rest, chasing her lips when she gasped for air, kissing her again and again like she could never have enough. As the heat of her body rose, Shuhua could barely hold herself from crumbling to the pleasure.

But then, the sound of someone exclaiming in surprise, certainly not coming from both of them, brought her back to reality like a shower of cold water.

"Whoa, sorry, sorry!"

When Shuhua pushed herself off of Minnie, who was still sitting and trailing her eyes at her in daze, the sight of Yuqi covering her eyes with hung open came into view.

Shuhua heaved a heavy sigh, calming her ragged breathing as her own heart was still racing and pounding against its cage. She leaned her limp body to the softness of the couch, feeling the heat of embarrassment made its way to her cheeks.

"Sorry, I thought-" the Chinese girl peeked through the gap of her fingers, bringing it down once the two had collected themselves. "Should I leave?" She asked comically.

Both Shuhua and Minnie then laughed breathlessly. "Sorry, we're- uh…" the oldest cleared while straightening herself, "caught… in the moment."

Yuqi rolled her eyes, dropping down the snacks in her hands to the counter, "you should've told me if you guys want to have the night to yourselves. Anyway, surprise!" She turned around with her lips forming into a pout, "Yuqi, the abandoned member of the foreigner line is here!"

Shuhua forced her still weak body up, almost stumbling back down if it wasn't for Minnie supporting her hand. She smiled at her thankfully, which was reciprocated with her own warmth.

Yuqi faked a gag, "seriously, whip . When did you two get together?"

"We're not together. Sorry, I didn't hear you coming," Shuhua approached the still apparently sulky girl, helping her with the plastic bags. She chuckled at the way Yuqi was grumbling incoherently underneath her breath, before patting the girl's head lightly in apology.

"Let's watch it from the start. We weren't exactly paying attention earlier." 

…

The night had turned into dawn and on the screen was the rolling credits from their third movie. Yuqi had just left after getting a sudden call, she said it was from her company , but Shuhua knew from the foolish smile, it was probably Soyeon.

Minnie helped her tidying the space and washing the dishes, even when Shuhua had told her not to.

"I should probably go home," she heard the girl say softly after everything was quiet and in its respective place. Shuhua glanced at the clock, one of its hands pointing at number 2. 

"It's late," she wiped her hands on the kitchen towel, turning around to find Minnie standing in the middle of the dark living room. Her still figure was illuminated by the moonlight, and she almost looked unreal.

"You don't want to stay over?" She rested her hips on the counter, a small hopeful smile decorating her lips.

Minnie was staring at her, too dark to see what laid underneath her eyes. "I don't think that's a good idea," she said.

"Why not?" Shuhua approached the older girl, who now in a closer look, had the same conflicted gaze as earlier. She found the sight to be heartwarming, somehow.

"After… uh, what happened… I don't think-" Minnie stumbled over her words, sighing helplessly when Shuhua stopped before her. "I don't think I can hold myself back," she admitted finally with a mumble, averting her flustered gaze away.

Shuhua bit her lower lip to suppress the squeal in . 

"I don't want you to hold back."

Minnie had her eyes settled back to her, laced with surprise and hidden intensity, "are you sure? I-"

"Unnie," she took a step closer, invading her space. Minnie had her eyes solely focused on her while Shuhua was resting her hands on the girl's shoulders for support, face leaning closer until their noses bumped.

"Don't you feel it too?"

The third kiss then came slowly, savoring and cherishing. It was deep and brief, warm like home. Shuhua leaned back, holding the girl's shoulders still from chasing her lips. Their eyes once again met, filled with familiar intensity.

Minnie understood, thus she kissed her again, deeper, parting her lips, tongue exploring the warmth of . Shuhua gasped when the girl pulled her close by her waist, the space between them ceased as their bodies pressed against one another. 

Shuhua circled her hand around the girl's neck to keep her grounded as the older girl trailed her lips down, soft and warm, brushing against her skin. She tilted her head, a shaky sigh escaped her lips when Minnie stopped on a spot on her neck, teeth grazing her skin, nibbling, and the slight pain brought pleasure to her shuddering body.

"Bedroom," Shuhua shakily said.

"Up," Minnie whispered against her skin, holding her by her hips with her strong grip. But Shuhua pushed her gently to meet her eyes with a doubtful smile and a raise of eyebrows, "are you sure you can carry me?" She asked in amusement.

The latter chuckled, "I've been doing nothing but exercising and you've lost a lot of weight. Of course I can," Minnie smirked confidently.

"If I fell down, you would be responsible of an attempt of murder, unnie."

Minnie laughed, her voice was sweet like a tune of a pretty song to her ears, "just jump, it'll be okay."

Shuhua huffed in defeat. With the older girl's nod, she did jump, swiftly supported by Minnie's firm hands under her thighs as she wrapped her legs around the girl's waist. 

For a second, Minnie stumbled forward with a low 'whoa' , and Shuhua squealed, tightening her arms around her neck, followed by a disbelieved laugh.

Minnie laughed with her, their lips meeting into a mess of laughters and clashing teeth.

"Okay, you're actually heavier than I thought," the girl groaned, "quick, which one is the bedroom?"

Shuhua chuckled, pressing their lips briefly before whispering against its softness, "told you so. And it's the first door on the left."

Minnie smiled back, eyes forming a pair of crescent moons. "Let's hope I can make it there."

"I doubt it," Shuhua smirked.

"You've challenged me, young lady."

As Minnie stumbled upon nothing but the weight in her body and arms, Shuhua laughed at her struggles. She whined, telling her to stop laughing and making it harder for her, but her own lips were pulled back into a wide grin.

With much difficulty, they arrived at the door, and Shuhua was pushed against the wall while the older girl rested her numb back and arms.

Shuhua rewarded her with a full kiss on her lips, and they were there for a while, lost in a heated kiss.

But then, a thought came to her hazy mind.  

"Now, who's going to open the door?"

After dying of laughter at their stupidity, Minnie finally let her down with another whiny smile.

Shuhua had to push her down to the bed and straddled her stomach to finally shut her up.

Lying in bed with their fingers intertwined, there were still quiet doubts nagging at the back of their minds, fear of the thoughts of another heartbreak when their heart had already been shattered once, being left behind by the people they thought they could trust.

But Shuhua thought, her chest felt a little warmer when she was with Minnie, the loneliness under her skin was less prominent, and the scars that were left from their past were almost forgotten.

When their lips melted and their heartbeats thumped in the same rhythm, Shuhua had never felt so safe.

She thought, If she could kiss her forever, she would have done so already.

____

Thank you for reading~