I look down at the man who had made me an orphan, as his blood drips off the Four Tiger Sword. 25 years ago I had swung this sword at him, missing my mark, but now I have finally reached my goal. A flood of emotions surge in me and I burn, even in the cold night air. I travelled back in time, across worlds, and saved the Manpasikjeok. Did I succeed? Has everything gone back, to the way it should have been? I gingerly pull back my collar to check the base of my neck and find a smooth expanse of skin. The scar I had received from Lee Lim is gone now.

I sigh in relief. I pick up the flute and run towards the Cheonjongo as fast as I can. I will have a small window of time to get Yeong and go back. I need to leave before the guards arrive. I reach the top of a knoll facing the back gate and come to an abrupt halt. Powerful beams of light come out of the gate, shortly followed by men in identical black uniforms.

“Set up a perimeter around the bamboo forest and search every inch. The traitor went this way,” the leader of the pack shouts into the receiver at his wrist.

No.

My insides turn cold. The Royal Guards had arrived faster than I had expected. I look around frantically, searching the dark depths of the forest for a way out.

Can I take the short cut through the beach? Will I reach Yeong in time?

I hear sirens in the distance.

“Team B! Contain the beach. No one will go in or out of this place,” The man orders again.

Before I recover from this second shock, one of the men spots our horses.

“Sir! Look over here,” pointing in surprise at the animals.

“We are looking for more than one man. Guns at the ready!”

“Yes, sir!” the men reply in unison as they move methodically, like a pack of wolves on the hunt. There are at least thirty men with their guns drawn. I look down at my sidearm. I had emptied the magazine earlier. I only have my sword which is useless in a gunfight. I watch them moving towards my hiding spot, dark forms silhouetted in the floodlights, and a sudden rush of white-hot rage flashes in me, sweeping my helplessness away. Where were you when my father was being butchered? Where were you when Lee Lim tried to kill me? If you had done your job... I would still have my father. And now, because of you, I can’t reach Yeong...

The men get closer and closer, cornering me like prey among the thin bamboo trunks that offer no cover. If I am found, which is only a matter of time, there is no question that I would be shot. They won’t even let me explain. Even if I could, who in their right minds would believe the truth?

I think back to the last time I saw Yeong. He was cradling me – little Lee Gon in his arms. He had saved me. I gasp at a new memory. A man shielding me from a hail of bullets with his body. A trembling hand checking my throat for a pulse. I remember waking up from a haze at the sound of voices, to see a dark form hobbling away from me.

“Yeong-a...” I cannot control my tears at this new memory.

The men are at the bottom of the knoll, quickly gaining ground. My heart breaks as I realise that the only option left is to go back. I remember Lady Noh, praying for me, and Tae-eul waiting. I think of my country.

Bamboo trees fly past me in a blur as I run towards the obelisks. My legs grow weak. I can barely breathe at the thought of Yeong being all alone and hurt. I see the traitor’s supine form in the distance. The gate opens and I cross into the place between one and zero, crumbling to the ground.

I think back to my narrow escape. Only a few minutes had passed between the shooting and the arrival of the Royal Guards.

They must have found Yeong quickly. They would have taken him to the hospital, even if it was to question him, I tell myself. Yeong-a...hang in there...

The answers I need await me in the present. I pick myself up, and run across the sandy beach, the thought of Yeong pulling me forward in time.

I emerge out of the stone obelisks into the cool darkness of the bamboo forest. A mix of dread and curiosity drives me towards the palace. I stop at the sound of hooves. It is Seok Ho-pil. So he’s still here.

”Pyeha!” He dismounts in alarm at the sight of the blood that painted my face and clothes.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine,” I assure him, although I know that he can see the tears in my eyes. “Turn off the cameras along the path and let me borrow your horse.”

Before I ride off, I ask him for one more thing. “I want the investigation report from the night of the coup and the list of all the men found at the scene brought to my study, right away.”

Ho-pil looks at me doubtfully, but says yes.

                                            ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I ruffle through the report in a frenzy as Ho-pil watches me with concern. I dismiss him, asking him to send Lady Noh to the study. I reach the list of the traitors, complete with photos from their autopsy. Lee Lim is first, then his right hand man Yoo Kyung-moo. I keep turning the pages until I reach the last entry. There...there is my childhood friend, lying with his eyes closed on a cold metal gurney, unnamed, his identity reduced to a few physical details.

Male, age between 25 and 35, height 181 cm, weight 72 kg. As I scan down to see that they had recovered 7 bullets from his body, the report turns into a jumble of meaningless words. The thick folder falls out of my hands as Lady Noh rushes in, alarmed at the sound of my cry. She enfolds me into her arms, as I weep uncontrollably. I had saved the world, but lost my brother. Nothing matters anymore.

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I spend the next few days locked in my study. The maids start to talk as the food trays are taken away untouched, after each mealtime. I seethe in silent rage when I catch Lady Noh trying to hide a talisman in my room. I think back to the part of the report which detailed Yeong’s personal effects. There had been a talisman in his pocket. Lady Noh had given him one as he left that night to intercept me at the forest. That was the only personal item he carried. What use are these? They didn’t save Yeong. They didn’t stop those bullets. They didn’t let me reach him on time…

The days and nights merge into one as I walk the corridors of the palace, memories greeting me around every corner. Court ladies shoot strange looks at me as I move about in a daze. The guards are as stoic as ever, but Ho-pil does not leave my side. Even when I order him to leave me alone, I can feel him breathing on the other side of the door. I cannot blame him. He is after all, carrying out his duties as the Captain of the Royal Guards. I walk the hallways that Yeong guarded. Everything looks empty and meaningless. As days pass, I discover all the things that have changed, and all that have stayed the same. Lady Noh remembers everything, but talking about it is too painful for both of us. We had both loved him dearly. She was the one who had brought us together. We lock ourselves away in our personal prisons of guilt and grief.

Mostly the world is the same as I remember. I am still an orphan. The Manpasikjeok is still officially missing. My cousins are still in exile. The few things that have changed are significant. Seung-heon was recorded in the report as a victim of the traitors’ murderous rampage. I decide not to change the record for the sake of his father. Our horses were found that night behind the Cheonjongo and taken into the Royal Stables. Both had lived there for several years and had died of old age. I think of all the good times I had with Maximus. He is another wound I will carry in my heart for the rest of my life.

My nightmares have also changed. I wake up in a cold sweat every night, but it is no longer at the sight of my father’s bloodied robes. It is always him… Yeong. He lies weak and wounded in the middle of the gallery amidst pieces of the shattered glass ceiling. He looks pale under the cold moonlight streaming through the hole in the roof. I run…faster and faster, in the hope that if I pump my legs harder, I will reach him on time. But the passage goes on forever, I slip and fall in the blood that has pooled on the floor. Yeong calls out for me one last time and goes still.

When I finally return to some semblance of my usual self, Lady Noh tells me about the days after the coup. No one knew who had killed Lee Lim, or where the Manpasikjeok had gone. The strange man who was found dead behind the pavilion was the biggest mystery. Nobody knew who he was or why he was wearing a Corean-made bulletproof vest that did not exist anywhere in the country. When the ballistics from his gun came back, they realised that he had killed half the traitors who were there that night. The gun that had shot the other men was never located. The horses were equally inexplicable. Both were rare, expensive breeds and had the Kingdom of Corea seal on their saddles, but there was no record of them at the Royal Stables. They assumed that one of the horses might have belonged to the stranger, but they could not find the other rider. Prince Buyeong decided it was best to cover everything up. According to the report that was released to the public, the traitor Lee Lim and his followers died in a shootout with the Royal Guards. Nothing was said about the man or the horses.

Uncle Buyeong had decided that the stranger who had come to the rescue of the Crown Prince deserved a proper resting place. Lady Noh takes me there one afternoon, a week after I had appeared out of nowhere in the bamboo forest. A giant cherry tree spreads its branches over the river bank, and underneath it is a blank headstone. My heart breaks at the thought that he had waited here, all alone for 25 years for me to come back to him. I kneel before him, silently begging for forgiveness.

                                          ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The man I had grown up with is gone, but the thought that he is still alive somewhere in this world keeps haunting me. Weeks turn into months, and I wonder whether I should seek him out. He is not my Yeong. He never became the Unbreakable Sword. I am torn between grief and dread. I want to see him, but I dread the moment. How different would he be? We had met on a few occasions a long time ago. Our first meeting was still the same as before. He had come to my coronation and the ceremonial mourning but, somehow fate had pulled us in different directions the second time. He had grown up to be a powerful man in his own right, travelling the world and starting a business of his own. I am glad. He did not grow up with the burden of protecting the King. He is free to put his own life first.

December draws closer. On the 20^th, it would be 26 years since my father died. On the day of the memorial ceremony, his closest friends and military colleagues come to the palace. I am busy greeting everyone, when I see him at the back of the room. I struggle to compose myself when Mr. Jo greets me with a deep bow. He nudges his son forward.

“Pyeha, this is my son.”

“Ah, Yeong…” I say, and somehow manage to keep the tremor out of my voice.

He looks at me in surprise.

“Oh, Pyeha. I am surprised you remember his name,” says Mr. Jo.

“I remember you. You were at Father’s funeral. You gave me a cookie when I was wailing,” I tell them by way of explanation even though the words sound strange to my own ears.

 “Pyeha, your memory is truly amazing,” Yeong says stammering.

“Thank you for being so kind to me that day.” Thank you for everything.

Yeong looks embarrassed and quickly covers up with a bow.

I watch them leave after the memorial. The snowflakes falling outside take me back to that night. Could I have turned back time again? Would everything have turned out well, if I had? If I had gone back and somehow protected him, he would still have been my Unbreakable Sword, always putting himself at risk. I think back to that day in another time, in another world when a young boy recklessly ordered a toddler to be his armour. The child had obeyed his King until the very end.

I hear the rustle of hanbok and look around to see Lady Noh. We watch together as the young man gets into his car and the chauffeur whisks him away. He has his whole life ahead of him. A bright future.

Lady Noh looks at me searchingly.

“It’s okay,” I tell her even as the tears fall. “He is happy and safe. It’s alright.”