“Appa” he hears a faint whisper. 

Sehun was sure that it was all just a vivid dream. It’s too early for ziyu to be up after all. When his alarm had went off, he checked the time and it was still around 4 in the morning, really, he was just pretty certain that his son would still be asle— 

“Appa!” the whisper came a little louder. The bed shakes and the tiny voice comes again, calling out for him. “Appa...i’m hungry.” he hears, loud and clear.

Sehun shoots up from the bed, nearly tumbling over Ziyu who was leaning over him with a small pout on his cute little face. “Finally!” his four-year old son beams, “good morning, appa. What’s for breakfast?”

“What time is it?” The adult groans and glances at his bedside table. There, glaring in bold red numbers read 10:26 in the AM. . He panics.

“Appa, my tummy hurts and it keeps growling!” Ziyu whines once again. 

Sweet heavens have mercy, Luhan’s going to kill me. Sehun mutters to himself. His husband won’t be back for another five days, and he’s already managed to nearly starve their son. Sehun rushes out of bed and picks up Ziyu, the little boy clings unto his father as the adult scampers towards the kitchen.

With his hair a dishevelled mess on top of his head and reeking morning breath, he steps into the kitchen. Sehun groans for the nth time that morning. It’s been a long while since he’d last cooked anything. Ever since Luhan had moved in with him six years ago, he had made great effort to stay out of the kitchen; not after he almost burned down their apartment one time. But alas, his baby is hungry. And cook, he must.  

“Come here baby. What do you wanna eat?”  

The boy yawns and rubs his eyes. “Can I have eggs and bacon please, appa?” 

Sehun psyches himself up despite the growing discomfort in the pit of his stomach. Having to actually make more than one type of food and having to use the stove still freaks him out after all these years. 

He asks Ziyu to go sit down while he prepares the food, taking out the meat from the fridge and some eggs. The little boy stares at his father who looked a little lost; observing. “Appa, you know how to do it, right?”

The frown on Sehun’s face deepens a little more. “Y-yeah” he clears his throat. “I got it, buddy.”

Ziyu replies with an “okay…” and goes to busy himself with something. His hair bounced on top of his head as he skips towards his little bookshelf in the living room. In the background, his Appa rummages through their kitchen, his cheeks tinted with a touch of red. 

Sehun was sure that he was winging it so far. He’s got the pan, a spatula, and the stove opened. Cooking oil, check. Eggs, check. Salt and pepper, check and check. He’s starting to think that he is getting the hang of this.

“Appa…” he feels a nudge on his leg. Ziyu stands next to him with his bottom lip jutting out into a pout. He holds out a tomato and onion. “You need these, too.” 

WHAT. Sehun’s brain short-circuits a tad bit. How does this work? Where do tomatoes and onions go on fried eggs? He panics internally, but Ziyu was quick to help his Appa out.

“We have to slice and mix it with the egg, Appa. can i help?” Ziyu smiles. “Baba lets me cook with him so I know!” His little boy proudly says.

And in all honesty, Sehun could not ask for a more perfect son. 

It took them awhile, but they were able to prepare a—what sehun would call it—banquet. Ziyu eats happily on his seat with his tiny feet swinging to and fro. It was also then that Sehun came to realize how much he’s missed out on raising his son. He'd gone on trips for work way too much and had skipped many events in the past year because of his job.

“...And one time, Baba came to school and I got to cook for him. I made pizza and mac n’ cheese! I think Baba liked it too much because he kept getting more.” His little boy beams as he recalled the fun memory. “But appa, I wish you were there too.” he playfully pouts and then goes back to eating. 

Sehun couldn’t fight the sorry feeling in his chest, seeing a hopeful look on his son’s face. “I wish so too, baby. But I promise I’ll be there next time, okay?”

“Really appa? You promise?” Ziyu replies, holding a pinky up and waits for his dad to take it. 

Sehun does. “I do, I promise.” he pinky swears.

“Okay! Love you, appa.” the little boy says, climbing up to his dad’s lap and snuggling against him. “Hmm...I miss Baba now.” 

“I miss him too. But he’d get sad if he finds out that we’re being sad, so why don’t we cheer ourselves up? Let’s go out and have fun today, what do you think?” Sehun offers.

“YES YES YES!!!” Ziyu quickly jumps out of his hold and makes a beeline to his bedroom so he can take his bath.

Sehun smiles wistfully and takes out his phone, he goes to his messages and updates his husband of what they were going to do today. Before he hits send, Sehun adds, “Ziyu and I miss you a lot. Come home quickly, my love. I love you.”

It was almost a perfect day, but there was one more important person they were missing. 

⭐⭐⭐

[4 years ago]

On the day that he had found out about Ziyu, Sehun had been freaked out and disappeared completely. And to say that Luhan was hurt was an understatement. He was absolutely devastated. Years of trust all went into ruins once Sehun turned his back on him and walked out the door. It wasn’t like he had gotten knocked up on his own, this was both their doing and he felt all sorts of lost and confused.

Sehun, on the other hand, wasn’t ready for all of it. They were young and fresh out of university, and were barely scraping enough cash to support themselves. If he'd stayed, what could he do for Luhan then? What face does he show after walking out on him like that? He shouldn’t have panicked and at least sat down with his boyfriend to talk. But, the mistake has been made. 

It took him a while to be ready, actually. A few months had passed before he was able to bring himself to Luhan. Looking like he hadn’t slept nor showered in days--which he really did--Sehun stood outside the shabby apartment he once shared with his long time boyfriend. He had prepared a million apologies and explanations for why he did what he did, because Luhan deserved that much. He had thought it through so much that it became the only thing in his mind most of the days living by himself. 

And yet, when the door swung open and out came Luhan waddling with his stomach poking out, everything became even more real and the words he’d been practicing over and over again in his head disappeared. 

Luhan stares at him in a mix of shock and anger. Although he waits a few seconds for the other man to start talking, he doesn’t. So, with a fury like a woman scorned, he says to him, “Don’t ever come back here again.” before shutting the door on his face.

Sehun didn’t stop there though. For days, he would come knocking on Luhan’s door even though he would never get an answer. He’d almost believed that the other man had moved out without him knowing. But, he can’t just stop there. Sehun couldn’t bear the guilt of leaving Luhan alone in a situation he’s also responsible for.

Although he was tired from having to be at work all day and heading over to the other’s house despite being told off, Sehun kept coming back again, ang again. 

Until one day. 

“Luhan” he almost didn’t believe it. 

The door finally swung open again and it was Luhan. He’d looked worse than the last time, and Sehun was afraid that the man wasn’t taking good care of himself.

A sob came out from the other man’s mouth and he let himself fall into Sehun’s arms. He held him tight, and swore he could feel his bones through his skin. “Luhan, what happened?” he asks. 

And on that cold Friday night, in the middle of their worn down living room, Luhan told Sehun everything that he’s gone through during the time he wasn’t around. From getting laid off from his job, to not having been able to pay the rent for a month, and resorting to eating instant ramyun for an entire week because he had no more to buy food with, he said it all. 

Sehun’s heart broke a million times more hearing all of this. He should have been there, even if he hadn’t been doing better either. He shouldn’t have left Luhan alone. The regret multiplied tenfold as he realized the other nearly had no one to turn to while he suffered through all of it. He held Luhan tighter and swore on his life that he’ll never leave him ever again.

⭐⭐⭐ 

One of the things that Sehun absolutely hated about going out without Luhan was the uncomfortable advances he gets when they stop by places to look around. 

‘Oh Sehun...you still haven’t realized the immense power your handsome face holds” Luhan had once told him. He wasn’t sure if his husband was joking around. But seriously, at a toy store? When he had Ziyu in his arms? He lets out a grunt and they continue their shopping. 

“Appa, why’s that lady looking at you funny?” Ziyu whispers in his ear. The little boy had his tiny arms wrapped around his neck and his cheek mushed against his while they looked around. Luhan followed behind and watched over them. 

“Hmm? What do you mean baby?” 

Ziyu lifts his head up and looks at his Appa. His face resembled a mix of both Luhan and Sehun, his eyes were sharp like his but his nose were like Luhan’s. Sehun smiles at him. 

“I mean Appa, the lady was looking at you like this!” the little boy then tilts his head while batting his eyes and tucking an imaginary long strand of hair behind his ear. 

Sehun couldn’t fight the laughter he’d let out. Luhan, laughing as well, walked closer to them to give his baby a kiss. “You are the cutest person I’ve ever met!” he says while gently squishing their son’s cheeks between his palms.

Ziyu lets out a giggle and scrunches his nose. “Baba, Appa said I got from you!”

Luhan looks over to the other man only to find out that he was already looking at him too. Sehun gives him a sly wink and Luhan turns as red as a tomato.