“Stop it, someone might see us!”

Never once Hyosung thought she would let out that line in her life. Especially to a boy who was towering her in an open beach where everyone was playing and relaxing—and she could see couples being crazy over each other. It just felt so wrong to throw the line to this guy—especially because she had thought of herself better than this.

He didn’t say anything to her request but he did stop to come after her lips. A sigh escaped from his lips as he went to the crook of her neck. Hyosung could feel his lips started moving on her skin. And once again, she had to push the man’s head from her neck.

 

“Not now, Bogum,” She almost said the sentence in a whisper—afraid that someone might look at them.

A pair of black eyes looked at her with a hurt feeling. And she couldn’t say anything to overcome the guilt she was feeling.

“It’s just that we are in public and it feels wrong for cousins to do this,” Hyosung muttered as she looked ahead of her—to the ocean—and avoided his eyes.

She would never be able to think straight if she kept looking at him.

“But our family is not here, they are miles away. We are not family when they aren’t here, we are just us,” Bogum told the girl as he pulled Hyosung closer to his body.

“Still,” Hyosung stubbornly answered—although she didn’t resist to his pull. She enjoyed the little touch.

“I haven’t been able to touch you these past two days and this is how you’re going to treat me?” Bogum whined once again as he played with her hair.

Hyosung knew he was right. It had been two days and they hadn’t been able to have skin contact with each other due to the preparation of the wedding had made them busier—not to mention that some people had to be moved out of the house because the bride’s family had also come to the town. The last two days had been confusing and tiring although the biggest reason they couldn’t touch each other was that everyone’s eyes were always on them—asking for help and a bunch of other celebrations to do.

“Alright,” Hyosung finally said—giving up to him.

He laughed as he pulled her to sit on his lap. Thankfully, they had chosen to sit at the furthest side of the beach—only a few of people chose the side they were sitting at simply because the waves were not children friendly—which made them able to do a lot of touching without anyone looked at them.

“I miss you so much, really,” He whispered before he came for her lips.

His lips were smooth—maybe because he had never really worn lipstick as she did. Or maybe because he always applied some moisturizer on them—she had no idea. What she knew was, his kiss was amazing and she loved his lips. Her arms circled his neck as his arms circled her waist. It felt like everything belonged to them—and not even the fact that doing this as cousins were wrong.

Cousins. Relationship. Wrong.

Hyosung was forced to remember how this happens in the first place despite his kissing made her drunk with desires.

 

 

***

 

It was after he led her to the house that Hyosung knew something would certainly happen between her and him. There was a strange atmosphere between them and Hyosung was certain something would happen before they even realized it. She knew when she would do a mistake and this time, he certainly made that feeling inside her to jump excitedly. She wanted to do something with him—something that might have been her biggest regret this year. But, why not? This was summer and everything stupid felt better when you did it in summer. At least that was what her stupid adrenaline told her before the image of what could be the aftereffects came down to her.

Park Bogum. The name lingered in . If his name was a candy, she would be addicted to his name in no times. His name was sweet and felt good to be spelt out. Park. Bogum. How nice. Hyosung knew it was wrong to suddenly fall for this guy. After all, it was his brother that she had been having a crush on.

Jay Park. His name would send thousands of tingling sensations over girls. They would instantly kiss him if they had the chance. He was just that hot. Hyosung knew she liked him ever since she understood the concept of love. He might have been short but he was still taller than her. He was the definition of bad boy and Hyosung loved it.

Jay Park was the eldest son of the Japan family. On top of it, he was the definition of perfect. Jay Park was smart with a lot of achievements were under his belt. He had successfully entered a famous university in Tokyo and even there, his score was almost perfect. If anything, he was the portrayal of perfect. But of course, aside from that perfect guy image that he was selling to the world, Hyosung knew he was fighting with his addiction to drugs. In her younger mind, she would imagine that she would be the one to save him. Although she knew that was impossible.

Jay Park had slowly recovered—thanks to his current lover and the ultimatum given by his parents— although no one would talk about his addiction in the family—it was like a silent agreement, no one should talk about the dark side of the perfect boy in their family. Jay Park would graduate soon from his university and he already had companies called after him—offering him a fancy position in their companies. He was just that great although he played with dangerous things.

That guy was who she should like. That guy was who she should have made her summer mistake with this year. And yet, she knew she wouldn’t make it with Jay Park. He never glanced twice to her direction and she understood why.

They almost made a crazy move last year and ever since then Jay Park had cursed himself—and told her to stop making him crazy with things he was not ready with. They agreed to forget what happened that night and Hyosung had to push herself out of the little fantasy she had about rescuing Jay Park from his drug addiction—because later Jay told her it was easier to forget what happened that night by just having the taste of his drugs.

But never once she thought she was going to be in the same situation with Jay Park’s younger brother. How problematic was that? To have the urge of doing a sinful relationship with two brothers who came from the same family?

“You’re thinking too much for a holiday trip, aren’t you?” Bogum suddenly talked next to her.

They—or more like Hyosung—had chosen to sit in the corner of the room where no one sat. Everyone seemed to prefer being outside on the backyard—where the sea was or in the back terrace. And here she was, watching them through the glass door and sat together with someone who suddenly sending signals to her on the same couch in the family room.

“Never thought a high school kid will say something like that to me,” Hyosung replied with a smile.

She had grabbed a glass of beer that her aunties had rather too pleasantly given her—sipping the cold beer before she said something she wished she didn’t say. Cold beer for summer and she thought she didn’t want to be drunk before night. But that was better than nothing. She needed to escape from the sudden interaction she was having with this cousin of hers.

“Well, this high schooler is also a man,” He shortly retorted.

And Hyosung could feel her heart to jump. She stole a look at him and she could see how he smirked to her when her eyes met his.

“Why does it feel like an aggressive move from a man to a woman?” Hyosung asked without thinking—a laugh escaped from her.

She didn’t expect it when Bogum suddenly moved his face closer to hers and in front of her face, he whispered, “Because I think I want to do some silly things I would regret later in the future this year and you seem to be the best candidate for that.”

Hyosung blushed.

“What do you mean?” She mumbled, her eyes absorbed everything on his face from the way his eyebrows seemed to be way too thick for a man to how his nose was almost touching hers. His breath was just a few inches away from her.

“I know what you did last summer with Jay,” Bogum stated as he pulled back.

Hyosung thought her heart was going to come out from her chest.

“Sounds so much like a song, don’t you think?” Bogum laughed.

She didn’t like the idea of someone knowing what she and Jay almost did. Moreover, it was his brother who claimed to know what they went through.

It took Hyosung a moment to realize that Bogum might have thought of her as someone easy. He had said that he was up for stupid things and she was the best candidate —or should it be the easiest? —that he could reach around him. Anger quickly got control over her mind.

“I am not an easy girl you know,” Hyosung told him as she quickly moved upstairs to where her room was.

Her stomach suddenly became sick as she climbed the stairs. She hurriedly went to her room and straight to the bathroom. Thank God, she was given the biggest room—shared with her siblings—with indoor bathroom. It took only a few seconds for her to throw up. The memory from that night pushed their way to the front. Hyosung had once again memorized what happened that night between her and Jay.

 

She wasn’t sure how and why they even thought that a make-out would be a great idea. She had refused to go to sleep in the same room with her sisters and here she was, on the same bed with Jay because he had offered her a better place to sleep instead of the sofa. The room was sure way too hot for her liking that they had started to sweat. It was one of the stickiest make out she ever had.

She was dizzy and before she knew, he was already on her top—without even parting their kiss. Hyosung realized it would escalate to something more dangerous when his kiss suddenly went to her neck—and stayed for a long time while she had to hold back her moan.

“Jay, stop! Stop!”

 

And that was how they stopped their little play. Hyosung never told anyone about what happened—and she made him swear to do the same—and eventually learned that she was a stupid girl to even get involved with Jay in the first place. She should have refused him when she had the chance. Her stomach growled in protest. All Hyosung wanted to do was just to disappear. She kind of regretting her decision to come along to Yongguk’s wedding. Now she was trapped with her little pay and someone who claimed to know the secret she had kept with herself for a year.

This all just screamed of awkward and uncomfortable.

 

***

 

The ‘opening’ ceremony in the evening began when Yongguk’s mother, Aunty Minah, called everyone to the backyard. She had been excited about the weather, telling everyone that the wind was not as bad as usual. Hyosung looked around the yard and she understood that she would go to sleep with a full stomach. It was the barbeque night where everyone who was old enough could grab a drink and eat as much as they could—and all of the foods were on Aunty Minah’s treat. A great way to welcome everyone to the house—full stomach was always the answer to satisfaction.

The aunties and uncles had taken their part in the cooking—so were some cousins—but some like her were dismissed by their parents.

“Better not trying to mess up this barbeque,” Her mother told her as she waved Hyosung and her sisters out of her sight—and out of the meat reach.

Hyosung chuckled. Her mom knew well she wasn’t a good cook when she was surrounded by many people so she saved her a lot of problems. Hyosung looked around and realized that everyone else who weren’t helping the adults had taken a seat and made a comfortable position. Most importantly, Hyosung could see that all of them were making groups and discussed things she didn’t even want to know about.

“Have no group to go to?” Bogum suddenly appeared out of nowhere, startling her.

Hyosung said nothing as she shook her head. She quickly grabbed a glass of beer as she walked to the beach. Beach should be the best place to calm her mind, right? The sand under her heels feels cold—it wasn’t as ticklish as she expected it to be. Aunty Minah might be true, the wind was not as bad as usual, but for Hyosung, it was cold enough that she had to wonder if she had gulped down enough alcohol or should she got back to grab some more.

She didn’t want to meet Bogum. The realization made her keep going to the beach. The sound of the waves was not as loud as earlier in the day. It was a lot calmer and she somehow wondered if the wind and waves weren’t in a good term as they voiced out a different concept with how cold yet calm it was.

Hyosung brushed her bare shoulders, hoping someone was there to accompany her to get through this ty night she had to go through. She didn’t even have a tiny hope if the next 13 days would go smoothly as she planned to be.

Deciding that she was still in the eyesight of the house, she decided to move a little bit further. She could see that the house next to her aunty’s place was also bright with lamps. It was just that the house was further than 10 steps and no one played outside of the backyard. So, she decided to walk there.

Hyosung counted her steps. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. The house was still quite far away. Hyosung scoffed. She didn’t like the idea to go further in the dark so she decided to sit where she last stepped on. The glass in her hand still had half of the beer—which made her happy as she had a little something to do. Hyosung looked at the sea, at the moon that had decided to shine so brightly today. Her mind started to wander.

‘Would it be cold if I bath in the sea?’ Hyosung thought to herself as she took a sip of her beer.

The question ran again and again inside her head that she decided to try it herself. She felt awesome tonight and nothing could stop her. Or so she thought.

Her toes had just dipped into the water when someone pulled her back.

“Are you insane?” His voice was deep and thick with accent.

Hyosung knew who he was but her brain refused to work harder. She had to turn herself to see who was the person that trying to disturb her fun. A pair of worried eyes looked at her, framed with the thick eyebrows and pale skin colour. The one and only Park Bogum. She should have known better.

“Let go,” She told him as she pushed herself away from him.

She didn’t know how and why it happened when her body lost the balance. She remembered she thought to herself, “Damn!” before the wet and cold sensation stung her lower body.

Bogum quickly lowered himself as he tried to pull her. Hyosung said nothing as she ignored his extended hand and instead, pushed herself to stand up. She took the glass she had left behind and walked back to the house.

She could hear Bogum who tried to follow her and she chose to ignore it.

“I’m sorry,” She heard him saying the words next to her as she tried to drag herself through the sand.

It wasn’t easy to get back to the house with her wet dress tried to reach the sands instead of keeping some space between them. Hyosung cursed everything as she struggled to keep walking. But especially the stupidity that made her trapped in this situation. Or more like trapped to Bogum.

“Hey, come here, I will cover you,” Bogum once again spoke next to her as he tried to match his steps with Hyosung.

Hyosung was going to ignore him when he said, “Come on, you need to cover your . Your dress is giving a closer look at your pink underwear.”

Hyosung stopped and so did he. She turned to him—still refusing to look at him. There was nothing that came to her mind as to what Bogum would do to cover her and her wet —maybe it was just a joke and he would laugh at her or maybe he would hand her a plastic bag and let her use it like a joke she was. But at the end of the day, she agreed to his idea of covering her from deeper humiliation and questions back in the house.

As it turned out, all her guesses were wrong. Bogum came closer to her—which quickly made her alert herself. She was going to step back when Bogum said, “it’s okay,” under his breath. It was one quick move but Hyosung thought of it as something more than just a quick move.

He leant closer to her—making her able to smell his perfume from the short distance between them. It turned out that he brought a jacket with him—Hyosung could feel the heavy jacket was circled her waist as Bogum tied the arms on her waist. He tidied the jacket around her legs before pulled back and observed his work.

“It will get wet from your dress,” He sighed.

Hyosung almost slapped him if he didn’t drag her to the house with a smile on his face. For a second Hyosung almost forgot who they were. And for a split second, she was wishing he was her annoying crush—a normal crush who was not a part of her family. It was impossible, she knew.

“You’re going to catch a cold if you don’t change,” He told her—his voice was lowered as they had entered the eyesight of their family.

“And whose fault would that be,” Hyosung sarcastically said.

“I know. I’m sorry. I will take some foods for you while you’re changing. Sounds cool?” Bogum threw a smile to her as he escorted her to the terrace, no one even paid attention to them except Jay’s sudden glance from his phone and it didn’t even last a second. If it lasted a little longer, Hyosung knew she would drop on her knees and beg him to keep whatever his thoughts would be to himself.

Hyosung nodded in agreement as she climbed to her room.

 

 

***

 

 

Bogum was not as jerk as she thought he was. She still had no idea how he could know what happened between her and Jay but at least, Bogum tried to make up for what he had done to her. Reminding her about that night was the biggest mistake he had done for her today and she didn’t complain when he tried to make up for that.

He knew how to bribe girls with foods and beers. Hyosung had come down to a warm blanket in front of the television in the family room and there was no one but Bogum on the couch with a plate full of sausages, meat, and other things their family had prepared out there. She also caught a glimpse of beers he had brought with him—the stronger alcohols were dominated by the elders, he had told her, so he couldn’t bring it to her.

Hyosung chuckled. She never really liked her cousins but he made it worth the trust she was going to give. She got inside the blanket and Bogum had pushed the plate to her as he switched the channels to whatever shows that would please his mind. And Hyosung didn’t complain when he chose to watch the Sherlock Holmes series. Hyosung kind of liking the series too, after all.

“You know that we should have been outside, right? Socializing with each other,” She said during her munching.

“Well, I was going to watch this episode before I got dragged here. And I am socializing with you. So, no big deal,” He replied calmly.

Hyosung glanced to him, not quite sure if he was even serious with his words. But Bogum didn’t even flinch when he spoke those words—somehow making Hyosung force herself to keep being sane or else things would get complicated.

She could only wish that the series would air longer so she shouldn’t be in awkward silence with him. Of course, when she was praying hard for that thing to happen, the series showed that the episode was going to end. The background music was playing—and Hyosung thought she would be deaf from how loud the background music was companied by the continuous chatter outside of the room. She could only wish for things to happen in her favor—to avoid the awkwardness between her and Bogum.

“You know what,” Bogum suddenly turned his attention to her, making her to almost choke on her foods.

“What?” Hyosung asked, gulping down the foods in .

Her one-word reaction was enough to make Bogum talk about basically everything. She had to listen to him talking about the conspiracy theories and why he was obsessed with the current Sherlock Holmes series. She didn’t even want to know why. However, if that made him happy so be it. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to it. She had done this ‘listening things you will never understand’ for way too long that she didn’t even remember if there was a time when she didn’t get involved in one situation like that.

Hyosung munched down her foods as she nodded back and forth between Bogum’s talk—and she didn’t even say anything to stop him aside of throwing some questions to make him keep talking. She was not even fully listening to what he was saying about.

“You really should read this book,” Out of nowhere, Bogum shoved a book between them—making Hyosung frown.

This man was surely one of the weirdos. He talked too much on things he liked when Hyosung didn’t even really pay attention and now, he even gave her a book that she didn’t ask.

‘Whatever,’ Hyosung thought to herself as she rubbed her legs inside the blanket as she finished her foods—with Bogum still talked beside her about another book that had grabbed his attention.

 

 

***

 

 

Hyosung thought the evening talk was nothing for both of them—or at least for her. Well, Bogum didn’t think so. He liked the talk and maybe a little bit of Hyosung’s attention was enough to make it better. The first thing he did in the morning was approaching Hyosung who had decided that the weather was too gloomy for a morning walk. She had curled where she sat with Bogum last night and watched the local news about things that had been going on around the small town.

She was watching the report about the weather forecast when she felt a sudden weight on her legs. Being lazy like usual, she only lifted her head a little to see what it was. Bogum’s black hair was messy from his sleep. Hyosung noticed how he curled himself with only a pillow and no blanket. Scoffing at her attention, she sat up and shook the sleepy man.

“Come here, I will share my blanket,” Hyosung told him when he opened his eyes to stare at her sleepily.

He said nothing as he complied with her request. Bogum climbed to sleep next to her—Hyosung had to keep the blanket open to let him settle with a position that was comfortable for him.

When he was finished with the position, they stayed in silence. Bogum continued his sleep while Hyosung busily searched for a good program that would distract her from her sleepiness.

Well, it wasn’t her sleepy state that bothered her. It was the fact that Bogum was so close to her—she could even feel his breath on her fingers—that was how close they were to each other. Hyosung glanced to Bogum’s direction—absorbing the image of his sleeping face.

She smiled—Bogum was indeed a handsome man, at least for her. The way his lips curved—and not to mention how pink they were—was his biggest attraction for Hyosung. Her eyes couldn’t stop staring at them. It took a few people to get into the room to make her stop starring at his lips.

Hyosung started questioning herself. Would something happen between them in the next 12 days—right before the wedding would officially end?

 

 

 

***

 

It took them two more days to answer Hyosung’s question. Or it could be said that it took two more nights for them to make it official that things must happen to them.

That morning, Hyosung woke up with a sore body. The day before, she had a trip to one of the furthest beach of the town. The beach was only famous between the locals—not everyone knew about the beach because it was really hard to reach it. Her family had been eager to visit the beach once Yongguk explained about the beach’s secret.

“When else would we have a beach for ourselves?” Her parents had excitedly said.

So then, everyone in the big group agreed to pay a visit to the place—her parents seriously had great persuasive skill. It took them almost the entire day to reach the place and get back home. Hyosung’s suffered from the long drive to the beach—and in the next morning, the sore just spread like no tomorrow.

Hyosung quickly headed towards the couch she had claimed to be her favourite place in the house. She ignored Bogum who was napping on the couch as she tried to have some space next to his curled-up body. When she couldn’t have some space, that was when she shook the man awake.

“Bogum, move a little,” She whined.

Bogum stirred awake, hummed some words she couldn’t understand, and moved. Hyosung shook her head in disbelief. Why did this man have to share the same favourite place with her for the first time anyway?

She grabbed the remote control before settling herself on the couch. She busily changed the channel and said some “Hi” when some people moved behind them. It was two in the afternoon and everyone seemed to be too tired from their trips and whatever they had done that morning until almost no one stopped by the living room 30 minutes after she came to the room.

Well, her didn’t last that long. Soon after she found a crime program she had been looking for, her couldn’t support her sitting position anymore so she slid next to Bogum. She knew that she would soon feel cold if she didn’t cover herself so she forcefully pulled Bogum’s blanket—despite his groans—and moved under the blanket. Bogum was quite a heavy man which made her to only able to cover herself a little if she didn’t lie very close to him. Instead of freezing Hyosung decided it was better to be very close with Bogum.

“You’re stubborn,” Bogum mumbled.

His words made her turn her head to him. She didn’t expect his voice would be that close to her ears. Well, when she eventually turned her head, that was when she realized that they were way too close and she actually could have a better look at Bogum with how close they were to each other.

Bogum had moved his body so now his body was on his side—and his eyes were looking at hers with a little humour in them. Hyosung refused to change her body position and only let her head to face him. He chuckled when he realized what she was doing.

“Why would you say so?” Hyosung calmly asked back.

Underneath the blanket, Hyosung could feel the warmth of his skin. Bogum had boldly touched her hands. She almost couldn’t focus on his eyes when she felt him rubbing his hand up and down her palms. They tickled her and at the same, his hand made her hands felt warm.

“You can take your blanket here, don’t you think?” He told her calmly.

This time, it was already too tiring for Hyosung to only turn her head so her body had also turned to his direction. She absorbed his question and knew he was right. If she didn’t know it was Bogum, she could have climbed back upstairs and dragged her blanket. But, she saw it was him on the couch and she knew she could share it with him. She realized it was a dangerous thing to do—knowing that something could go wrong—and yet she willingly asked him to share the blanket.

“Oh shut up. You should just go back to your nap,” Hyosung told him.

Bogum chuckled as he didn’t let her eyes go from his stare. Hyosung could feel him being closer and closer to her and yet, she didn’t have any will to make more space between them. She let the space between them to be almost not existing. She could hear his heavy breath and how hot it was to be too close to him.

“I hope you don’t regret this,” That was her last words before Bogum suddenly reminded her of how it felt to be in a heated make-out session.

He forcefully asked for her tongue while also exploring her cave. He her tongue, asking her to fight him back so he wouldn’t be alone in this sudden make out moment between them. Hyosung didn’t even bother to resist. She knew she wanted this just as much as he did. So, she followed her invitation to use her tongue. Bogum was clumsier and rougher than Jay. Jay didn’t ask for her tongue until his desire fueled him. Bogum was already on fire with his desire when he came in touch with Hyosung that he didn’t even try to tone it down.

Hyosung pulled out from their kiss, too stunned to say anything. Her brain surely hadn’t worked when she looked up at Bogum and they got into another rougher eating each other’s face competition. Bogum didn’t want to stop until the two of them heard some noises at the front door. That was like a cue to the two of them. Bogum pulled himself from Hyosung while Hyosung quickly wiped her lips with the back of her hand as she glanced Bogum’s nervous face.

When he noticed her glance, Bogum gave her a wink along with a cheeky smile on his face. He loved what they just did. As for Hyosung? She had no idea as to what to do now that they had officially stepped over the boundaries of casual cousins’ relationship.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Hyosung didn’t understand how or why she was in this situation. Some other Yongguk’s friends came to stay over at the house and now Hyosung had to sleep in the living room. And guess who else was kicked out from their original room?

Of course, it was no other than Bogum. They had to share the small bed they usually used for napping and Bogum liked the idea once he knew it was her who was going to sleep next to him for the next few days. He tried to hide his smile when he saw her already lying on the bed, switching the tv channels as she had always done in this house. Her things were scattered around the place—voicing that she was going to own the place for at least a few days later. Hyosung caught the smile on his face and couldn’t resist looking away. She was too embarrassed to remember what they had done earlier. She didn’t have any expectations of anything to happen between them before she met him and yet, things had started quite messily.

Hyosung glanced as he settled next to her. Thank God he brought his blanket so Hyosung wouldn’t have to share hers with him which would lead to other unexpected things.

It was only 10 in the night and Hyosung could still hear people walking back and forth of the room—the sound of the tv suddenly became a murmur as the time went. She was already sleepy despite it hadn’t been midnight. Hyosung ignored what the tv was showing as she turned her body to her right. It wasn’t only the tv that she had ignored but also Bogum’s presence on her right. She didn’t realize she had moved closer to where Bogum was and snuggled to his arm as she started to sleep.

Hyosung realized about his existence later during midnight. Everyone seemed to go sleep earlier as the lamps were turned off when she opened her eyes. Hyosung couldn’t help but feel way too warm in her position. A little bit confused with where she was, Hyosung moved her head to see her surroundings. That was when she realized her current sleeping position. She had fallen asleep on his arms. It was clear that he had her in his arms before she suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and got up from her position. Her action only caused him to stir up a bit before staying still. Hyosung’s eyes widened as she realized what she had done.

In her panic state, her brain started calculating if she could get away from where she was. Her brain only disappointed her as she soon understood there was no way she had any chance to sleep on any other rooms as the living room was the only option she had. However, the fact that she had to move away also seemed unfair for her as she knew she could have slept there just fine if he wasn’t there. If she was to move, he also had to move. Hyosung could only groan when the realization hit her. She didn’t like her situation—she had no options she could do other than to face him—at least for now.

She was still deep in her thoughts when she felt a soft tug on her wrist. She looked down only to stare into Bogum’s sleepy eyes. Hyosung thought for a second her heart would jump out if she didn’t blink to calm herself.

“Why are you awake?” His hoarse voice made her attempt to calm herself became useless.

He was wide awake now as he pushed himself to sit next to her. Hyosung watched silently as he struggled to sit upright. The terrace door’s curtain wasn’t closed which made the moonlight and the outside lamps to help her looking at him. The darkness was a good thing for her as she was able to stare at his face without being too obvious.

“It was too hot,” Hyosung answered—she could hear her unsure tone.

“Too hot,” Bogum repeated after her with a scoff.

Hyosung shrugged as she watched how Bogum’s eyebrows intertwined when she found her reason to be awake. Her reason was a little bit too odd—she had to admit it was the only thing that made sense to say in their situation. Bogum looked at her suspiciously and she looked back at him—making it a staring competition between them.

The competition didn’t last long when Bogum suddenly captured her lips in a rough kiss. This time, he allowed her to on his upper lips before he started using his tongue—again. Hyosung knew it was wrong and yet she could feel her arms lifted themselves. The next second, she already had his hair in her grip. A part of her knew this was not right. This make-out session could happen anytime now which made Hyosung even more anxious. His wet kisses suddenly felt dull as she let him do whatever he wanted.

Once Bogum pulled back from her kiss, Hyosung said nothing as she wiped her lips. He sure was too eager with the kiss. She was still deep in her thought when he pulled her to lean on his chest. Surprised by the fast movement of his heart, she looked up only to find him admiring her. His smile captivated her that instant.

“Is it your first?” Hyosung started asking the question that had bothered her ever since the first time he took her lips.

Her question must have hit him somewhere when she looked at him nodding his head as he looked away from her eyes.

“Oh my God,” Hyosung mumbled as she lowered her head—not wanting to look at his eyes.

Bogum replied nothing to her however Hyosung could feel how he carefully asked her to get back to sleep.

“Tomorrow will be busy,” was the last thing she heard from him before she was left to listen to his breath and heart.

 

 

 

***

 

Well, it wasn’t the only last thing she remembered from that night. Hyosung knew for sure it was that night which signed their continuous kissing session—or whatever people would call it. They practically had tried to sneak away from their family’s eyes to hold hands when they were out to the beach or how he once or twice hugged her.

Her head was full with thoughts of what happened between the two of them or whether it was okay for her to enjoy this when she knew well how he was a part of the family and not just some strangers on the street who suddenly made out with her. She knew some people would brush this kind of moments aside, saying that this was just a part of summer and this was nothing.

She had never been someone who brushed things easily as ‘just another moment in life’. Now, she was quite unsure of how Bogum viewed what they had done. Well, she knew he was into this as it was his first time to kiss someone and practice what he had only known in theory all this time.

Hyosung was torn. She knew this made her only as a practice tool—and she didn’t like how that sounded. She sure didn’t like to know if she was only a practice tool for someone. No. She wanted more than that.

 

 

****

 

 

Today was the day before Yongguk’s wedding and everyone had been invited to celebrate it one more time at the backyard of his parents’ house. Bogum hadn’t let her go ever since Yongguk announced about the party. Bogum had protectively pulled Hyosung with him wherever he went. He even suddenly served her as if he was the princess or something—completely not allowing Hyosung to stand and find her foods. She knew something was wrong with how he acted—but something inside her told her if he wanted to make her his new practice tool then she deserved these sudden good acts from him.

Everything seemed okay when a harmless tease from one of the cousins to Bogum bothered her. They had joined the other cousins to play around in a Truth-or-Dare game and it was Bogum’s turn. Hyosung watched as Bogum’s pale skin blushed when someone questioned about his love life and another person had added something like ‘that girl who went to a different school with you’ along the line. Hyosung felt his moving fingers on her backhand stopped. They just stayed there—unmoving.

Hyosung’s head spun in an instant as she tried to grasp the reality. She almost forgot where she was when she heard him answer.

“We’re still in progress,” He said as he blushed harder.

Hyosung wanted to throw up that instant. She had forgotten to check if he was in a relationship or not before playing around him—claiming his first kiss and trying to act as if they were a couple when they were out of their family’s eyes.

“So, you two are not together but close?” Hyosung heard her voice in the loud laughter around them.

That was when Bogum realized she was still there, right next to him, and had heard enough. Bogum cleared his throat as he also tried to control his expression—and yet, Hyosung already had enough of him.

“Basically yes,” Hyosung heard him answering—almost apologetically.

Hyosung laughed—and she could hear the others followed her act not knowing what had happened between the two. She nodded her head, mumbling ‘great’ before announcing her leaving to take some more beef. Bogum tried to hold her wrist but she shook him off before the others could see what he was doing.

“I’ll be back soon,” She told the others who told her she had chickened out from the game.

She was glad it was a family party so Bogum couldn’t escape the cousins—she needed her own time to have a clear view of what happened between them. She should have known better. He couldn't have any girl close to him. Her theory was right after all. It wasn’t like he was attracted to her or anything. It was just that she was the closest person where he could practice things he had been wondering about. On top of that, he knew a part of her past that no one knew in the family. She was just an easy target all along.

Hyosung’s head was filled with too many thoughts and images which made her fail to realize everyone was walking towards the bonfire that had been set to be the main point of the party. It was a soft tap on her shoulder that made her realizing how everyone had waited for her. She had to bow apologetically to the circling crowd. Hyosung’s eyes caught Bogum’s figure next to her—clearly waiting for her so he could stand next to her.

Hyosung scoffed. She hated the image. However, she had no choice. Everyone only left a small space enough for two—to fit her and Bogum into the crowd. Hyosung closed her eyes for a moment before she followed Bogum who had already walked in front of her.

Bogum was already standing in the circle when she came to join the crowd. They were standing way too close that Hyosung even could feel his skin on her own—and how the surface of his clothes kept rubbing her unclothed skin.

Yongguk was starting to speak to let everyone knows how he felt and expected about the wedding. Hyosung was focusing hard on what he was saying when suddenly she felt someone rubbing their fingers on her wrist. She almost freaked out before she turned her head to her left and realizing it was no way her uncle would do something like that plus his hands were in front of his body. Annoyed, she turned her head to her right and right after that she was looking back at smiling Bogum. And all this time, he hadn’t stopped rubbing her wrist. He even started to rub the back of her hand before finally taking her hand into his.

She didn’t even bother to fight back as she knew if she tried to do anything silly, everyone would instantly look at her as she was standing right in front of Yongguk and his family in the circle. Hyosung could only glare at Bogum—and he only gave a slight smile in return.

Whatever happened in the next 30 minutes, she couldn’t remember. All she knew was she had helped cleaning the trashes as she also tried to think if she could try to squeeze into one of the rooms tonight to sleep. The house was already so full with people she thought maybe she should just knock the neighbour next door for a place to sleep. There was no way she could handle to be next to Bogum without exploding.

Everything happened so quickly that the next time she knew it, she was already sitting on the bed—trying to sleep as she thanked God for making Bogum not on the bed all this time. She was just about to close her eyes when she felt his lips on her forehead.

“Good night,” She heard him speaking.

That was all it took to make her open her eyes again. This didn’t go unnoticed by Bogum. He was about to go when he saw her opens her eyes. He sat on the edge of the bed as he reached for her hand—obviously not realizing how she wanted to throw up or doing anything worse if this continued.

“As it turns out, you have a girlfriend,” She opened , knowing that whatever came from now would be a venom to him.

He was flustered for a moment before nodding his head in acknowledgement.

“And, you didn’t even tell me,” Hyosung calmly added.

“I mean there is no way something could happen between us. Whatever happened these few nights, you cannot expect it to be something,” He exclaimed—and he looked deeply into her eyes.

She didn’t answer anything as she broke away from his stare. “So, you don’t want to be in a relationship with me.”

“You know it’s not because I don’t want it. It’s impossible!” She could hear the anxiety in his voice.

“Are you disappointed?” He carefully asked this time his other hand had tried to rub her forehead.

Hyosung laughed. She shook her head, “No.”

“I can see that you’re having a long face.” He added—almost too calmly.

Hyosung couldn’t hold it back anymore. She broke free from his grip and climbed down from the bed.

“Just go. I’m done with you,” Hyosung told him before rushing out to the beach.

The cold sea breeze welcomed her instantly. A slight pang of regrets haunted her and yet it didn’t stop her to walk to the seashore. The salty air felt somehow refreshing and she liked it. Her eyes roamed her surrounding when her eyes caught a man figure stood not far from where she was standing. She knew he had also spotted her first because he had been looking at when she turned her head to the guy.

He waved to her—and out of politeness, she waved back.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked—almost yelled.

Hyosung rose her thumbs up—agreeing to his question. He nodded as he yelled the word ‘same’ to her and moment later he nodded back to the sea. Hyosung chuckled. He looked like a great man.

She somehow wished Bogum was a stranger like him so she could ask him if it was possible to have a relationship outside of his ual desire—just a normal relationship where she could tell her about her days and such.

“You’re Hyosung right?” The guy’s voice suddenly became very close to her—making her look up at the guy.

Hyosung nodded.

“I’m Yongguk’s friend. Minhyun. Nice to know you,” He told her—offering a handshake.

“Ah, Yongguk’s friend,” Hyosung nodded—taking his hand and let him shake her hand for a few seconds.

“Not going for sleep now that you’ve sensed the breeze?” He asked—curiousity filled his eyes.

“No,” She laughed.

“Alright then, I’ll get back first.”

Hyosung waved him back—watching as his back was gone from her sight before she allowed herself to watch the sea’s waves once again.

Later when she went back to the living room, no one was there. A small part of her felt sad. She expected him to stay or do something to show if Bogum was serious with her or anything. He didn’t have anything stocked for them.

 

***

 

Back at home, Hyosung wondered if she was going to end up like Yongguk-- not believing in love until someone forced him to do so. The wedding had done around a week ago and yet she was still stuck with the thoughts of Bogum’s lips and how she was stupid enough to think they had a chance to build a normal relationship.

Hyosung hadn’t been able to sleep at nights lately. Yongguk’s wedding was a bad memory for her. Bogum had avoided her—not like she let herself to look at him in the first place anyway. She got her lesson that day. Summer was just... summer. She couldn’t expect anything from it.

And just like the other days, today, she once again had to cope with her sad realization of Bogum, family, and ual desire. A part of her laughed on her stupidity to believe on Bogum and the other just sighed it off—knowing she was just too nice on him and too powerless on the addition of that. Whatever the case was, Hyosung had lost so much of her sleep thanks to her summer mistake.