There's a girl

Lost her way looking for someone to play

I’ve been searching for someone. for something.

I knew right there and there that I hate men. them.

Or maybe, I just have trust issues with them. yeah right, past relationships and flings caused me traumas I never expected that I would carry ‘till now. I promised to myself that I would never look at someone the way I looked at her. I just fell for a girl who couldn’t stay and I am not interested at the moment but this one particular girl caught my eyes. Not just because she’s beautiful but because of the sadness in her eyes when she said out loud “ it.”

There's a girl in the window

Tears rolling down her face

It’s raining today which means it would be difficult for me to look for a cab or bus. I sat beside her, it is as if the waiting shed was made for us---it was only us who were left waiting. At least, I wouldn’t feel anxious in the middle of the night since I have this boyish looking girl beside me. Or so I thought.

I never mean to stare at her but there was this curiosity in me that I couldn’t understand. Why? of all the words she would say, she chose to curse? I can see she was hurting like I am right now.

We're only lost children trying to find a friend

Trying to find our way back home

With all those secret glances I stole, she finally caught my eyes. I was expecting a rude remark but she only gave me a sheepish smile, “Well, sorry about that. I just can’t help it.” she said as she wiped her tears away.

I smiled in return. “It’s okay, just let it all out.”

“I guess I should,” she let out a soft chuckle with a hint of pain. “I ran away again. I know I liked this person but I’m scared.”

That moment, my brows furrowed even further. “ran? like running from debt?”

I watched her tried to control herself from laughing. I hope it helps. “yeah, I ghosted the person I liked. am I cruel?”

For the first time in my whole life, I found someone who is quite similar with me. I’ve been ghosting people just because I was scared to get hurt in the end or hurt the other person in the process. I’m scared to let someone in because I’m afraid that I will wake up one day they’re gone. It is ironic if I might say, wanting someone to stay with me but I’m pushing them away from me...enough for them to finally leave me.

“No, you’re not.” I replied.

“You just pity me though but thanks,”

“Well, I do but it’s not the reason.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

I gave her a warm smile. “I ghost people too.”

We don't know where to go

So I'll just get lost with you

From waiting shed, we went to a convenience store to resume our conversation there while eating. She told me about her, the person she ghosted. They’re close friends and they fell for each other but she wasn’t ready to commit yet so she backed off. And I told her mine, the one whom I fell in love with but ghosted me. A ghoster was ghosted…yeah, we exist.

“…she vanished just like that?”

I nodded. “yes, and I understand, I was too clingy anyway.”

She frowned at me. “Nah, she’s just scared like us. you should know that since you’re afraid of commitment too.”

I bit my lower lip. “Probably but she made it clear she wasn’t interested anyway, I was just persistent when I don’t even know what I really want.”

She pouted, taking a sip of her coffee. “That , life , everything .”

We both laughed. I never knew I would laugh at my own situation. It’s been so long since the last time I laughed like this, I’ve been crying myself to sleep and it was a routine I never thought would change.

Before we part ways, I initiated to ask. “Hey, I don’t know your name yet.”

She held out her hand. “It’s taeyeon, kim taeyeon.”

Kim Taeyeon, what a pretty name.

“And you?” taeyeon asked.

I have a good feeling about this. “Jessica Jung.”

We'll never fall apart, 'cause we fit together right

We fit together right

Tuesday, a boring day. I’m just so tired of this boring cycle---sleep, wake up, work, go home and then sleep again. I’m alive but I feel dead inside. It feels empty, I feel like I’m just living for the sake of it. When it was break time, I went outside like I usually do. I never had someone to eat with, a lonely life if I might say. My employees greeting me on my way out and I made an effort to slightly bow at them at least. Yes, I was living a luxurious life by being an heiress but I still feel sad. I went to a coffee shop nearby, as I was looking at the packed coffee beans, I heard a familiar voice.

“Jessica!”

I looked around and saw taeyeon, smiling widely while waiving her hand from afar. I don’t understand what’s with me but it made me smile. I walked towards her, “We met again.”

She shook her head, chuckling. “Fate must be playing cupid right now.”

I was taken aback, blinking. “Uhh, what?”

Taeyeon playfully punched my arm. “It’s just a joke okay? Don’t take it seriously…so, how are you?”

“By myself like the usual.” I said simply.

She clings on me and took me to the counter. “My treat for today since you listened to my rants yesterday.”

“b-but…”

“No buts, buy anything you want.” She was persistent so I couldn’t refused.

An hour has passed and we haven’t finish chatting with each other. It’s so nice talking to her, it’s light and funny.

“Oh wait, I forgot about the time. I’m really sorry, Jessica you must be late for work now. How can I repay?”

I gestured no in the air. “No, it’s fine. I’m the boss anyway,”

Taeyeon raised an eyebrow. “You’re what? Is this some kind of joke?”

Before I knew it, I was laughing hard at her face. She’s so cute. “Yes, I am. I’m the CEO of B&E, the company near this coffee shop.”

She looks surprised. “Holy .”

I stopped laughing, grinning sheepishly. “I’m sorry then.”

“Yah! Why did I even treat you for lunch?! It’s so unfair.” She started fake crying.

I bit my lower lip again, a mannerism I couldn’t stop. “Uhm, I can pay for it though.”

She glared at me. “Don’t, it’s just a joke plus I wanted to eat with you since you’re probably used to eating alone and it’s lonely that way.”

“How did you know?”

She acts as if thinking. “Hmm…you said it earlier that you’re all by yourself like the usual. I guess rich people don’t socialized much? you have me okay? We’re now friends.”

Friends? I haven’t heard that term for a long time. Most befriended me for a purpose. A purpose to ask money from me, help them with their businesses and many other parasitic purposes. But taeyeon is an exception, she’s a genuine person. And I can tell by the way she talks about something.

“Not really, it’s just my personal preference. I liked to be by myself at times and it helps me to reflect.”

She nodded