One winter morning in February, Shim Changmin woke up with a text message from Jung Yunho asking them to meet at the café they usually frequent to study in during exam season or simply to hangout. It was a weekend and he was already used to the other’s spontaneity after almost four years of being together at the university that he did not think much of it. He simply got up and got ready like he usually did.

At the café, Yunho had already reserved him a seat, looking like he was brooding over something in one corner; nevertheless, he immediately brightened up upon seeing him, took his order first after declaring it was his treat, and mentioned that they needed to talk after their drinks were served.

When Yunho finally came back with their drinks, it was Changmin who got to the issue at hand first. “I have to admit. When you asked me to accompany you to our regular café, I didn’t expect it to be for this reason. But I guess, desperate times call for desperate measures,” the latter chuckles before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Changmin-ah,” Yunho takes the seat from across him looking wide-eyed, “You knew?”. “Honestly, I think the person in question is the only one who doesn’t. I’m not sure if he’s dense or he never really gave it a thought considering how much of an airhead he is,” came Changmin’s straightforward reply.

“C’mon, give him a break. I didn’t really want to say or do anything that would give him a clue but I’ve reached my limit after four years of holding it in. I want to confess before we graduate so I can have a fresh start after he rejects me,” Yunho mumbles the last part into his cup as he looks away from the amused expression on Changmin’s face.

“How are you so sure he’s gonna reject you?” Changmin was obviously not waiting for an answer as he immediately followed-up with a jab to his old-fashioned ways, “Well, given that you thought of writing him a letter at this day and age, he might.”

“Look, just humor me by staying since you have no other plans anyway. You can go read a book or something while I think of what I want to say to him,” Changmin sighs in defeat but was glad that the discussion was over… for now. He wasn’t a fan of going about things the round-about way, but it wasn’t Yunho if he didn’t do it the hopeless romantic way. Good thing he did bring a book just in case.

A few hours later, Yunho had more scraps of paper lying crumpled beside a blank sheet of paper than proper drafts of his handwritten letter. He was lying face down on the table while Changmin was too engrossed in his book to care about how his hyung hadn’t moved an inch for the last few minutes as the former mulled over his life decisions.

“I can’t do this. I have so many things I want to say, but I can’t seem to find the right words,” Yunho groans as he shifts his head’s position, so now it was just his right cheek lying flat against the table. “It’s not too late to just go up to his dorm room and declare your love personally, hyung,” Changmin answers as he turns a page looking unbothered.

“Aish,” Yunho throws a crumpled paper at Changmin in annoyance. The latter doesn’t even flinch and somehow manages to dodge even without looking. The good thing was that it didn’t hit Changmin, but the bad thing was it had hit someone else who had just sat down at the next table.

“I’m so sor-” Yunho had begun apologizing, but he stopped midway when he saw to whom he was talking to. “Oh, hey, Yunho! Changmin, you’re here too,” it was the one person who wasn’t supposed to be there right now, Kim Jaejoong. “It’s nice to see you guys. I didn’t think anyone would be here since the final exams had just ended.”

Changmin recognizing the voice abruptly stood up subtly blocking Jaejoong’s view of Yunho as the latter began cleaning up their table of any possible trace of what he was doing earlier. He began chatting Jaejoong up, something he didn’t normally do, and even if it was slightly out of his character, the former didn’t bring it up. He noticed the crumpled paper was still on Jaejoong’s table and immediately grabbed it as the other excused himself to the comfort room.

“Okay, the coast is clear. He went to the- where are you going?” He turns around to see his hyung all packed up looking ready to leave with a perplexed expression on his face. “It’s gonna look suspicious if we suddenly leave you know.”

Yunho looked left and right before coming closer to Changmin and started whispering, “But, I can’t have any writing done if the person I’m gonna confess to is right at the next table.” “Why are you whispering?” “He could come out any minute?!” “Why are you guys whispering?” a third voice joins in making the other two straighten their backs and return to their normal speaking voice.

“It’s nothing,” Yunho tries to laugh it off, but it only sounds more awkward and Changmin can’t help but slightly grimace internally restraining himself from face-palming. “Alright, then. Keep your secrets,” it was Jaejoong’s turn to laugh.

“Are you guys in a hurry? Yunho was cleaning up the table when I came in and now he looks like he needs to go somewhere. You feeling okay? You could rest at my dorm room,” Jaejoong looks genuinely concerned that Changmin actually feels bad for him. “I, uh- I think I left our stove on, so I guess I’m going first. I’ll see you guys later?” Changmin panics at the thought of being left alone with Jaejoong, and he does his best to signal that to Yunho, but the other was hell-bent on leaving he didn’t even have a chance to make eye contact.

Once Yunho was out the door, Jaejoong was the first one to break the silence. “So… Changmin!” He had no choice but to turn around and face the other while plastering a small smile on his face that he hoped looked natural. “Do you have any idea why Yunho’s been acting weird lately?” He couldn’t say anything at that. He was actually surprised Jaejoong had noticed. The other was more perceptive than what he had given him credit for.

Changmin made up an excuse at the top of his head, which somehow satisfied Jaejoong’s curiosity, but it looked like the other was still clueless about everything that was happening and that was about to happen. He heaved a quiet sigh of relief at that. Part of him wished Jaejoong would get a clue already, but then again, where was the fun in that. He was enjoying seeing his hyung agonize about confessing more than he would gladly admit to anyone, even if said hyung did leave him and literally ran away with his feelings. He hoped the other was getting somewhere with his writing while he was forced to hang out with Jaejoong in his stead.

Meanwhile, there wasn’t much difference in how Yunho was at the café and at his apartment just outside the university. It was already late afternoon and there was little to no progress still. “Maybe some fresh air would do me good,” he finally decides to get up and have a jog at the park nearby to rearrange his thoughts.

On the way there, he puts on his headphones and resumes the last song that was playing on his phone. He smiles to himself as he realizes it was the song he and Jaejoong were listening to when he first realized he had feelings for the other. It was in Jaejoong’s dorm room and they were hanging out sitting on the floor with their backs against the side of the bed sharing earphones. One was in Jaejoong’s right ear and the other was in Yunho’s left ear. The other had his eyes closed with a ray of sunlight touching his face softly. At that moment, Yunho had wanted nothing more than to pull him close against his chest. He remembered wishing for the first time that he was the bed that was able to hold Jaejoong warmly every day.

As he continues on his route at the park, a wave of nostalgia hits him as memory after memory resurfaces reminding him of all the moments they had shared together. Even the cat being fed milk by a little girl on the bench made him recall the time Jaejoong had found a stray kitten by their university’s building. The other had begged their dormitory dean to let him keep it. In the end, Jaejoong had no choice but to put it up for adoption since pets were not allowed. He knew how much the other had taken care of it, even being jealous of how much love and attention it was receiving.

“Maybe this is what it means to fall in love,” Yunho mulled over as he cooled down from his jog, “Every little thing reminds of you them. And you want to share every moment with them.” Before he knew it, it was already sundown and he was on his way back to his apartment. His phone suddenly received a message.

“Hyung, how’s the letter coming along? I forgive you for leaving me with Jaejoong-hyung only because we actually had a good time together. Turns out, we have the same taste in music,” came Changmin’s text. Yunho chuckled at that and typed in his reply of “I’m glad you bonded” before another message came in. This time it was Jaejoong, “Hey, we missed you today. There are only a few days left till graduation. I hope we get to hang out one last time before then. I have something I want to talk to you about.” At that moment, Yunho had made up his mind. He knew what to do now. He was finally decided on what he wanted to say.

.

It was after the graduation ceremony when Jaejoong was finally able to talk with Yunho privately. He had pulled the other to one side away from everyone once he saw the chance. The latter had been ignoring his messages ever since they accidentally met at the café. No, Yunho had been acting weird even before that, but he could no longer remember exactly when it had started. It came to the point that he was contemplating if maybe Yunho had seen the song he had written about him in his composition diary in one of the times the other had come over to his dorm room and figured out his feelings. But, he knew Yunho wasn’t one to snoop around someone else’s drawers without permission.

Jaejoong was about to ask him about it directly when suddenly an envelope was ed towards him. Yunho had apologized for his recent behavior and requested for him to read the letter inside once he got home and that would explain everything. However, once Yunho had said his goodbye and turned around, he immediately opened it and began reading.

There was something about wanting to be a bed, diary, and a cat even just for a day that left him slightly confused. However, it all made sense when he described that it was like a love that was still clumsy but meant the world to him. And that even if he could only watch, he would be so thankful and happy just to be by Jaejoong’s side.

After putting the letter back into its envelope, he couldn’t help the tears that were starting to fall from his eyes, because he never imagined that for the past four years, his love was actually reciprocated all along. He didn’t waste any more time and went to look for Yunho.

He drove through crowds and crowds of people and finally found Changmin with his arm around his hyung a few meters away.

“So how did it go?” Changmin asked the elder. “I don’t know. I feel like I messed it all up in the end. He pulled me aside. But, before he could say anything I just shoved the letter to him and walked away. I still couldn’t face him. I was so afraid of what he would say,” Yunho said with his head down and face buried in his hands.

“He didn’t come after you?” Yunho finally looked up and sighed in reply, “I guess not. He was probably too shocked to say anything. I mean I can’t blame him. I would-.” But, his words were interrupted by somebody shouting his name, “Yunho!!”

He turned around and was met with a face-full of hair and an armful of Jaejoong, “Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been in love with you since freshman year.” “Well, why didn’t YOU tell me?” Yunho retorted back squeezing him tighter. “Was this really happening?!,” they both thought to themselves.

To anyone else seeing them, they could just be two guy friends expressing their bromance, holding each other tightly during graduation day, since everyone was going their separate ways into the real world. But to Changmin, that’s how he vividly remembered how his two hyungs started their forever, with a HUG.

end.