“Come back to me,” the princess threatened, her legs spread on the knight’s bare stomach, her hands curled lightly around Seulgi’s neck. “Come back to me, or I’ll kill you.”

Seulgi smiled. It was bound to happen. The two had avoided talking about the Guard's impending departure for days since that cursed breakfast, and now they were finally three days away to the dreaded day. 

For the most part, the princess seemed to have given up on her attempts to stop her knight from leaving. Not that any of the two really had a choice. It was a done deal the moment the reports were delivered, they knew. Everything else was just pointless, childish, delaying tactics. In fact, as time went by, in a strange way, Seulgi was starting to feel differently about the journey up North. It was her first ocular, after all, and that meant finally being able to travel, while still on duty.

Of course, she would've preferred such an opportunity under different circumstances—maybe even one where the princess could come with her—except given Joohyun's title, traveling was a luxury the two could never risk. 

Seulgi coughed out a laugh, taking in the view of the princess’ silhouette on top of her. “You’ll kill me if I don’t come back?” she confirmed, grinning.

“I’m serious,” the princess said.

“Okay—How would you kill me?” the knight asked, humoring the royalty.

“I’m still thinking about it,” the princess shrugged, her hands still around her knight's neck. She bent low, bringing her face closer to Seulgi's, her hair brushing against the knights cheek. She whispered in between soft, teasing kisses. “Maybe I’ll drink some poison and kiss you—to death.”

The knight shook her head in disapproval, chuckling. “Mm, I don't think so—no poison for you.” 

“Then come back to me,” Joohyun insisted, her eyes fixed on Seulgi's. She was serious this time, and Seulgi knew. 

“I will,” the knight promised, nodding. “It’s an ocular. It’ll be fine. I’ll be back in a few weeks and we can hang in the Garden all week—once I’m back. And we'll do whatever you want to do.”

“Promise?”

The knight gave a final, earnest nod, one hand absent-mindedly playing with the princess’ hair. They’d been spending so much time together lately, everything that usually required hesitation and contemplation now felt like basic instinct. Like her hands were meant to play with the princess’ hair. “Yes. I promise,” Seulgi said.

Joohyun closed her eyes and let out a sigh. She had convinced herself that it wasn't a big deal. That nothing bad was going to happen. They had spent half the week at the Garden, talking and joking and laughing. When the grass felt too flat to lie and roll around on, they would simply resume back in her chambers. Not that they had all that time to themselves, too. Seulgi was increasingly busy, spending extra hours at the academy for training and weapons preparations, and Joohyun spent at least a couple of hours a day with Seungwan coordinating with neighboring kingdoms to corroborate what news and reports they could get their hands on about the rumored dragon up North.

They have been busy, and in the hours that they weren’t, they clung to each other in secret and in hiding, each kiss lingering milliseconds longer than the first, each squeeze of their fingers just that tiny bit stronger as they held hands while they talked. At nights, Joohyun forbade the knight from leaving (“You’re leaving soon anyway, what’s one night?” she would angrily ask.)

And here they were, in the princess’ huge bed in her dimly lit chambers, and in each other’s arms again. Her knight was really leaving, and there was nothing the princess could do to stop or delay that. In her own silly and selfish way, it had disappointed her so; that one moment a couple of days ago when she realized, after minutes of relishing in her knight’s kiss, that even kissing wouldn’t slow time down for her. For them. 

And yet, some nights, like this one, the princess couldn’t help it. Some nights, it was all she wanted to do, just to forget—for the few minutes that she could feel Seulgi’s arms around her and Seulgi’s lips and tongue moving against hers—that her knight was leaving. 

And so that was what she caved into, for the third night in a row, leaning into her knight, their lips finding each other like a stubborn habit, breathing in all she could of her knight’s scent. Her hand found the knight’s, holding on, squeezing. Kissing her knight had felt so natural as of late, she sometimes wondered if it was because Until she pulled away, taking in the sight of the flushed knight lying under her—

“I love you,” the princess realized, her words choosing to come out at the same time as the tears slowly pooling in her eyes, in a soft gasp.

Seulgi was silent, just for a bit. Her mind reeled, her chest forgetting to pump air for the slightest second. “What?” the knight breathed.

“I love you, and I’m so scared,” Joohyun whispered. She didn’t think the words would be audible if she’d tried to speak any louder.

But Seulgi’s thumbs found the princess’ cheeks, rubbing away the tears before they went far enough down the royalty’s face. The knight could feel Joohyun’s light shaking, could feel the weight of the days to come finally sinking in the way the princess’ shoulders shook in place. She had weighed the same three words at the back of her mind for the past few days. Thought of what they meant, and if she deserved to say it to the princess—and to her best friend. She had wondered if it was the right time to say, or if she should wait for after the ocular. But hearing the princess say it, Seulgi finally decided. Dragon or no dragon, waiting would be foolish. Waiting could bring regret. “Hey—me too,” the knight replied softly. “I love you,” Seulgi said, letting the princess lie her head on her chest.

“Aren’t you scared?” the knight heard the princess ask, quiet and still in a whisper.

“I can’t be scared,” Seulgi simply replied. “I can’t protect you if I’m scared.”

.//

It was the day before their departure. Seulgi had woken a little earlier than the princess and decided to sneak out through the Garden and back into the castle in search of the Council Head. There were things she needed to finalize about the ocular. And then she could arrange for breakfast as per usual in the princess’ chambers.

“Seulgi,” the knight cringed at her friend’s familiar voice as she crept up the stairs going up to the East Tower. The same stairs the knight and the princess had been running up after every dinner since the dragon reports had come in. Seungwan walked up the steps, her tablet in hand. “Breakfast with the princess again?”

The knight shrugged, hand resting on the cool surface of the stair’s marble railing, waiting for her friend to catch up. “I was looking for you, actually,” she said when the Council Head was close enough.

“What’s up?” Seungwan asked, frowning as if embracing herself for more bad news.

The Council had been busy in their own way. Oculars were a once in a lifetime occurrence, and so there were emergency meetings and discussions to be held, all to ensure everything was securely prepared, and all of which were hard enough to arrange with the princess so often disappearing with her knight.

“I need to talk to you,” the knight said in a low voice.

Seungwan noticed her friend’s furtive glances at the closed double doors down the long hallway to the princess’ chambers. “Sure,” she nodded.

Seulgi pulled out the same envelope of papers Seungwan had used to whack her head with many nights ago. The same papers that Joohyun refused to sign. It was the resignation documents Seulgi had inquired about. “I’m not touching those,” Seungwan shook her head, retreating away from the knight.

“I’m not resigning,” Seulgi clarified. “Just—in case anything happens, I need you to—ow! Jeez!”

The Council Head had once again whacked the knight on her head, this time with the tablet in her hand. It made a loud, resounding noise in the silent hallway, and the two friends foolishly looked around as if expecting the princess to be standing at the other end of the hallway.

“Don’t talk like that,” Seungwan warned in a hushed whisper.

“The princess is still asleep, she won’t hear us,” Seulgi hissed, rubbing the top of her head.

“Well, I don’t want to hear it either,” the Council Head snapped.

Seulgi shoved the papers to her friend once more, a more serious look flashing in her eyes. “I’m not resigning, but I need you to process these. It’s for the rookie I’ve been training the past month,” she explained.

Hesitant, Seungwan took the papers from Seulgi, quickly flipping through them with her tablet snug under her arm. “You’re recommending her for Head of the Royal Guard,” the Council Head said, her eyes quickly scanning up and down the papers.

“Yeah, just in case—damn it, Seungwan!” Another whack to the head.

Seungwan raised the papers for the knight to see. “Even if I agreed—and I’m not going to—the princess isn’t going to sign these either,” she said.

“If anything happens,” Seulgi tried again, successfully ducking from another hit to the head. “I can’t have someone incompetent taking my place. I’ve been training this kid and I know I can trust her with—with the princess. She’s good.”

Seungwan squinted at the knight, her attention going back to the papers in her hand. “Kim Yerim,” she read the name printed on the second page.

The knight let out a soft scoff. “She doesn’t look like it, but she’s more stubborn than me, or the princess,” Seulgi explained, a small smile forming on her lips as she looked at the papers in Seungwan’s hand. “She’s the only one I trust to protect her. They’ll probably argue a bit, but—I need to know the princess isn’t gonna be under the protection of someone who’s just going to blindly follow what she says. Yerim would wrestle the princess if it meant keeping her safe, and no other knight I know would be that bold.”

Seungwan sighed and pulled out her tablet, quickly typing into it before looking back at the knight. “So—someone like you,” the Council Head observed coolly. “One problem, though.”

“Yerim’s coming as part of the ocular squad, yes,” the knight nodded. “And I’ll make sure she comes back. I won’t risk her on the frontlines or anything.”

The Council Head sighed. “Better make sure you come back too, then,” she said, grim.

The knight laughed. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I trust you,” Seungwan shook her head, folding the papers in her hand into her coat pocket. “It’s the dragon I’m worried about.”

“It’s not going to be a—”

“You don’t know that—no one knows that,” the Council Head yelled in exasperation, stomping her foot. “You’re leaving tomorrow, and I need to know you’re taking this seriously. I need to know you’ll be able to handle it and be back, if not for me then—for the princess.”

Silence sunk in the heavy air between them, the Council Head’s cheeks growing red. The two had been friends for so long, and Seulgi always knew to back off when Seungwan got red. She never liked things to get too bad between the two of them, even if they argued casually here and there throughout the years. She knew Seungwan like Seungwan knew her, and in that moment, she wondered if Seungwan knew about her and the princess.

She had been so busy comforting the princess over news of the ocular, she hadn’t stopped to think of what Seungwan thought. In all honesty, she hadn’t even thought the news would have affected her friend so.

“I’ll be back,” the knight finally said, pulling her friend into a hug. “Don’t worry.”

“You’ll be back,” the Council Head agreed, nodding into her friend’s shoulder.

If it weren’t for the impending ocular, or the papers in her coat pocket, Seungwan would’ve noticed the princess’ scent in the knight’s clothes. She would’ve asked about it, or joked about it, wanting to taunt the knight over something she had confirmed herself weeks ago. If she weren’t so silently terrified at the thought of possibly losing her friend, she would’ve whacked the knight one more time on the head—for not telling her, for thinking she could fool her. 

But Seulgi was leaving for the first ocular the Kingdom’s faced in centuries tomorrow, and dragon or no dragon, princess or no princess, Seungwan realized, standing in the arms of her friend, that she, too, was scared.