[CONTENTID1] Secrets of the Heart [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] "Sometimes, you can't think everything out. You have to listen to your heart." --Zidane Tribal, Final Fantasy 9 [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3] Suji found herself outside a soju stall, with a very drunk Baekhyun sitting in front of her. The sequence of events after the major revelation happened too fast for her to remember. She received a few texts from Jieun, who wanted to leave university together. Suji lied that her stomach acted up on her and she left the library early. Instead, she was forced to listen to Baekhyun’s dramatic qualms about his future, and his abhorrence for the woman that he loved.

            She hated how soju affected one’s mind. Suji had to be in control of everything. That was why she avoided alcohol at all costs. She watched as Baekhyun’s self-confidence stripped away, layer by layer, to reveal the forsaken man beneath. He had finished a total of three bottles, which he insisted on her to pour for him.

            “They’re getting married soon,” he said, in between slurring words and hiccups. “You think I’m too innocent to know what goes on during their little visits to European cities? Suji, do you think I’m stupid?”

            “Yes,” she said, with a deadpanned expression.

He laughed at her response. “Thank you. I love how honest you are. I kind of wish I liked you instead. Maybe if Sehun didn’t have to interfere with his ideologies and amazing stories, I’d have stood a better chance. Am I right, Suji?”

            Suji perked at the mention of Sehun. “What?”

Baekhyun shifted back. He shivered against the cold night air, and he reeked of the rice soju that burned Suji’s nostrils. She dared not imagine what happened to his oesophagus after three bottles. He pointed at her, his lips undecided between a grimace and a smirk.

            “There. Right, there. I see it in your eyes. Be careful though. Don’t fall for Sehun. He’s kind, and he’s polite, I get it. But he can’t see behind your mask. The two of you will end up killing one another, or my name’s not Baekhyun.” He reached for his fourth bottle. The verdant glass glinted under the dim lights from the stalls.

            Suji grabbed his wrist. “You’re drunk and talking nonsense.” She pried his fingers away from the bottleneck and steered it towards her, holding it close to her chest. Softly, she added, “Don’t do this to yourself, Baekhyun. She’s not worth this much to you. Don’t lose yourself for someone else.”

            He stared at her with glassy eyes, full of stardust, broken dreams and dying embers of a passionate love. Baekhyun hiccupped again. He leaned over the table, one hand touching her cheek. Suji froze in her chair. His palm was cold, colder than a winter’s storm.

            “That’s the side of you that I want to love instead. But I can’t, darn it. I want to be with Hyekyo. She promised me that she would love me forever. She never took the soju away from me,” he said, his voice trembling. “Instead, she just kept pouring for me. She kept pouring, and pouring.” He demonstrated the action in a clumsy manner. “No one stops me when I drink. But you care for me, don’t you?”

            A knot forms in . “I care for your dignity.” She frowned at the passing thought. “Or what’s left of it.”

He threw his head back, catching his hair with his hands. Baekhyun growled at the stars. “Dear God, why’d you have to be so difficult? Does it kill you to say something nice?”

            Suji remained silent.

Baekhyun avoided eye-contact and conversation for a short while. He glanced at his watch. It was not long before he slumped over the table, out-cold and succumbed to a deep sleep. Suji blinked in confusion. She was left alone with him, without any notion of how to drive. She had no cash to hire a taxi. On top of that dilemma, Suji was unable to just walk away. She should leave him be, in the middle of a busy little alleyway, with many bars and drunkards who wasted their sorrows in soju and alcohol.

            She smacked her forehead and sighed “Why do I have to be the one in this situation?”

 For a long time, she wandered through her contacts. She could ask Jieun for one of the Neverland boys’ numbers. But then they would question why Baekhyun went drinking to the point of complete exhaustion. Nope. She needed to avoid confrontation, even if it meant sealing Baekhyun’s weakness. Suji tapped her head with her knuckles, as if such an action would inspire an idea.

            “Think…think…”

Suji skimmed through her contacts again and landed on a familiar name. She had not called him in a while, because he had a fight with her mother. Plus, his job in the hospital was demanding, and took up a lot of his time.

            “Hello?” someone grunted at the other end.

“Ah…Uncle Changmin. It’s me, Suji,” she said.

            A silence ensued followed by a sigh of relief. “Suji! It’s been a long time. How’s my niece doing?”

            Suji bit her bottom lip. She glanced at Baekhyun again, who snored loudly and attracted unwanted attention from other customers.

            “Uncle Changmin, I need to ask a favour off you.”

“Of course, I always told you to call me if you need anythi