“Sarawat Guntithanon?”

A name was called out but it seemed that the owner wasn’t in the room for the silence that followed. Everyone turned to look around to see if the owner of that name would stand up and go to the registration table but still nothing. The teacher called out the name for two more times and just when she was about to cross the name out, a boy rushed into the room, looking like he had been running.

“Are you Sarawat?”

The boy only nodded while still trying to catch his breath. He followed the teacher’s instruction to sit in one of the chairs in front of the registration table. The student who was called earlier than Sarawat was done with the process and left the room. The teacher was ready to call another name and everyone paid attention.

“Tine Teepakorn?”

A boy with fair skin got out of his seat and walked towards the registration table. He didn’t need to be told to sit in one of the chairs but the thing was, it was occupied—or rather, a guitar case was in the way. He let the teacher go and ask the other boy to collect it so it didn’t get in the way of someone else and the boy did as he was told, muttering a quick apology before getting back to a more pressing matter at hand.

The fair skinned boy then sat beside the guitar boy, never aware of how close they were that their knees barely brushed. The guitar boy, of course, finished first and took off in a hurry he almost dropped his guitar. He apologized to the teacher for the commotion he made, dropping his gaze to the ground in embarrassment but the other boy never looked at him, not even sparing a glance.

When he was done, the fair skinned boy went home, stuffing his ears with earphones to listen to a song from his favorite band called Scrubb to accompany him on the way home. He felt particularly satisfied today, thus happy and the song just made it a hundred times better. He was in his own world where he could imagine singing along in a concert. He would love to go someday, he thought as he stepped out of the school area.

Across the small street just in front of the school gate, stood the guitar boy waiting for his friends. They said they would rent a studio so their band could practice. It seemed like a good idea to try and memorize the chord as he waited, so he took out the folded piece of paper from his pocket, pretending to play the guitar while imagining the sounds that the chords made to the song Everything by Scrubb in his head.

-

“Second from the bottom?”

Sarawat nods as he keeps staring blankly at the report book in his hand. He knows, no matter how much he stares, his grades won’t suddenly change from D to A but it’s his second year and his grades are getting worse that he actually feels pity for himself for doing so bad at school. Even his friends, Man and Boss are doing just fine. They’re not at the bottom nor the top and Sarawat wished he can have that.

He doesn’t wish to be at the top because the pressure that comes with it is surely something he can’t bear. It’s different from the pressure of going on the stage. It’s different from the pressure of playing a song from his guitar for everyone to hear. It’s different from the pressure of trying to make people understand him through music. It’s different and it’s not what he wants—at least that much he knows.

“Don’t you think it’s time to focus on your study?” Man says in an uncharacteristically serious tone. It actually scares him a bit.

When even Man, the joker, said that, Sarawat knows he needs to get his life together but the question is, how. He has no idea how to start; he doesn’t know how to take notes. He either highlighted the wrong things or wrote so lazily that it became messy and impossible to read. It stresses him out when he has to work on math exercise books or when he has to read a long passage from a test.

“How about you tutor me?” Sarawat suggests, closing the accusing report book roughly as if the thing has wronged him.

Boss puts a hand on his shoulder. “Sarawat, my friend, are you that desperate?” he asks while Man just shakes his head. “Trust me, you’ll get nowhere.”

Sarawat decides that it is a very bad idea to have them as tutors, so he racks his brain for a name that he can ask for help. The activity makes him realize that he never actually made more friends other than Man and Boss. Now, not only does he at academics but also at socializing; is it self-awareness day?

“Hey, why don’t we ask the school’s top student to tutor us?” Man snaps his fingers as if the lightbulb inside his head lights up and smiles like he just came up with a good idea which to Sarawat doesn’t sound so bad. He actually wants to go on with it.

But Boss has a different opinion. “Do you think he would want to tutor kids like us?” and that gets him wondering too. He never knows who the top student is, he doesn’t really care about all that when he can just play music to his heart content. He never really tries to find out who it is either. For him, everyone is just the same, top student or not and they shouldn’t be treated differently.

“Why do you make him out to be so… arrogant?” Sarawat says quietly. He can’t help but start to feel curious about the top student. What he’s like or if it’s true that he won’t tutor someone just because they’re stupid—what’s so bad about him and his friends anyway? If they’re really too stupid to be taught then at least he makes some friends out of it, doesn’t he?

“Well, then, do you want to find out?”

The confusion in his face must be so evident that his friends jump off the table just to clear his vision of a fair skinned boy who’s walking pass in front of his class. Sarawat is too focused on staring that he doesn’t feel the clap on his shoulders and his friends shouting, “That’s him!” while pointing their fingers towards the door but Sarawat just follows where the boy goes until he no longer can see him anymore.

“So, do you still wanna ask him?” Boss turns to him, as if trying to prove his point about the top student. Sarawat, seemingly still in a daze, nods in answer. He lets his eyes wander outside and replays the scene of the fair skinned boy walking in his head.

, Sarawat thinks to himself—it would be a complete, utter bull if he said the boy wasn’t the prettiest boy he has ever seen in his life.

-

P.E might be Sarawat’s favorite subject beside Music Arts. He loves outdoor activities like football where he can relieve his stress by running around the field, feeling the breeze and sun on his skin. It’s another kind of refreshing but he likes it. He’s really good at it too to the point that the upperclassmen will often ask him to play for the school football team. He agreed in one condition, he will never be an official member.

Today is the first day of the sports festival. Sarawat has to play for his class. He goes to the field without learning who his opponent is, all he knows is that he has to win it. He’ll just find time to look for the top student later because this is clearly more important, no matter how cute the boy is. At the side, there are a bunch of girls seemingly cheering for him but he can’t be sure.

His class is winning so far and it’s the second half of the game. Sarawat is too distracted with his thoughts (because apparently he can’t get the top student out of his head) that he doesn’t notice someone rushing to get the ball from him and he’s a second too late to dodge his sliding tackle so he loses his balance and falls forward, his knees scraps against the hard, paved ground causing it to bleed. Both his knees are injured to the point that it’ll be too risky for him to continue to play.

Sarawat is laying on the ground to catch his breath and watches as Man and Boss are busy signaling the school’s health unit to get a stretcher for him. The last thing he wants to see is the disappointed faces of his friends but everyone seems worried. He raises his hand to tell them that he doesn’t need a stretcher and that he can manage to get to the school’s health unit room safely without another injury and even though it’s hard to convince them, they finally let him go alone.

There’s no one in the hallway and Sarawat has to lean his palm on the wall to support his weight. He didn’t think there would be so much blood but he’s just glad he didn’t break a leg, he thinks. It seems like the school’s health unit room is empty— thank god, because he doesn’t think he can stand being in pain with so much noise around him—until a boy enters, startled at another presence in the room. His gaze goes to Sarawat’s knees and his eyes bulge.

Without a word, the boy rushes to get the first aid kit and rushes him to sit on the bed while he takes a seat on a stool in front of him. Sarawat only watches—he feels so dumb for not being able to say anything when his mind is running a mile a minute at the sight of the boy in front of him treating his injury silently. It’s him, the top student and he’s sitting so close like this. This is it, the day Sarawat finally has a crush.

“Um,” Sarawat feels a tiny stab of pain when the boy taps it with the cotton soaked with alcohol. “It hurts.” he says quietly which makes the boy stop to look up at him.

“It’ll only hurt for a little while.” the boy says with a frown then goes back to clean the wound but Sarawat can actually feel he’s a little gentler now.

“What’s your name?” Sarawat asks out of genuine curiosity.

“Tine.” the boy replies without looking up. “Can’t you see my nametag?”

Sarawat shakes his head. “No, I can’t see it from here.”

The boy only hums. He’s dressing the wound and salving the bruises now. “That will turn into such nasty bruises.” he tells Sarawat once he’s done and starts putting the clean stuff back into the box and the used cottons into the trash can. Sarawat admires his work, looking at it like Tine has just saved his life or something.

“Do you not want to know my name?”

Tine turns to look at him in disbelief. “Is it important?”

“Isn’t that how making friends works?” Sarawat shrugs.

Tine looks thoughtful for a moment before his gaze is on him again. “Whatever.” and he doesn’t say anything afterwards, just walking about inspecting stuff in the room in case they’re out of place before going to sit on the unoccupied bed across the room. He’s quiet and Sarawat thinks he’s going to drop it at that but then Tine speaks in a relaxed manner. “I know you. Sarawat.”

Sarawat looks away to hide his smile.

-

Even when he can’t play any sports with his injury, Sarawat still goes to school like a good kid that he is. He comes to cheer for his classmates but deep down he knows he’s just making excuses to see Tine again. He goes straight to the school’s health unit room once he feels bored sitting at the side of the field, bringing his guitar along. Oh, maybe he can get back to songwriting to kill time and the school’s health unit room is the perfect place to do it.

Sarawat tries to hold back his smile when he finds Tine there. He knocks on the door that’s already opened, twice, thrice until Tine turns his head towards him who’s standing on the doorway. He thinks he looks dumb from the way Tine is eyeing him and his guitar but he steps inside anyway, earning a glare from the other boy. He’s confused but follows Tine’s gaze, the wound dressing is a mess.

“You shower with it and you didn’t change the bandage?” Tine nags, pressing unnecessarily hard on the healing wound with each word.

Sarawat winces. “Am I not supposed to?”

Tine looks like he can’t believe what he’s just said. “Are you dumb?”

“And what are you bringing your guitar here for?” Tine nods at his guitar in the corner.

Sarawat stares at him. “I don’t know. I bring it with me everywhere.”

Tine is so cute, Sarawat decides and he can’t stop staring at his face. Fair skin, contrasting to his own tanned skin. He has the prettiest pair of beady eyes like a doll, high nose and pretty pink lips. To top it all off, the bunny teeth that show whenever he opens his mouth to speak or laugh. Sarawat wants to see them when he laughs but he doesn’t know how to make Tine laugh, so he just settles for being grateful to be able to make Tine talk to him.

The boy goes to sit once he’s done replacing the bandage on his knees and Sarawat notice the books on the desk. That’s a lot of books, it’s not going to be easy carrying them all in one go. Is this how the top student’s life looks like? Because Sarawat thinks he can’t catch up, he probably never will.

“Tine.”

Tine turns around to look at him. “What?”

“You’re the top student, right?”

The boy raises his eyebrows.

“Can you tutor me?”

Then, he laughs. Sarawat stares. It was unexpected.

“What makes you think I’m a good tutor?”

He laughed, Sarawat thinks. He laughed… he laughed. He laughed.

“I don’t know.” He manages to answer despite his jumbled thoughts.

“Are you only good at playing guitar?” Tine shakes his head, amused.

“Yeah, probably.”

“Fine.” Tine says. “How bad are your grades?” he looks thoughtful and Sarawat waits until he’s done thinking. “And what do I get from tutoring you?”

“Can’t think of anything yet.”

Sarawat jumps off the bed to get his guitar—he thinks he heard a quiet “Careful!” and that makes him smile a little, Tine is looking out for him. He decides to sit on the stool and starts playing random chords and humming to random tunes. He doesn’t know why he feels nervous when Tine’s eyes are on him. It’s like the first time he got on stage when he just got into high school. He still can remember the chord to the song he played with the band that day.

I’ll do everything, I’ll try every way,

it makes me know well how things will be

Even if you have someone else, it’s not important,

just you looking at me satisfies me inside

He looks up just to see if there’s any reaction from Tine. There’s an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction and relief when he sees the other’s eyes light up.

“You know how to play Scrubb’s songs?”

Sarawat nods but inside, he’s screaming. He wants to soar towards the sun.

“That’s really cool…” Tine looks completely starstruck.

“You haven’t seen me play at the school’s concert?”

“I didn’t know you play Scrubb’s songs.”

“Well, not all the time but I can play them for you.”

Tine has completely turned around on his seat. “Really?”

“Hmmm.”

“Then you’ll have to bring your guitar for every tutoring session.”

He looks like an excited child—it’s completely different from his usual cold persona. Sarawat finds this side of him endearing and to think it’s just because of a Scrubb song. He must really be a big fan. It’s cute. It’s cute, you hear me? He’s cute.

“No problem. I told you I always bring my guitar with me.”

He doesn’t get to play and sing the entire song because Man, Boss and a girl burst into the room with Boss being himself, fake-crying over a small injury. Apparently, Boss fell because he was running too hard and got a small wound on his elbow and knee. They look at Sarawat and Tine interchangeably once they notice them there.

“There he is, Boss!”

“We were looking for you, Wat.”

Tine gestures for Boss to sit on the bed and tells the girl, which later he finds out named Pear, to treat Boss’ wounds by handing her the first aid box.

“Hey, uh-” Boss glances at the name embroidered on the chest area of Tine’s uniform. “Tine? Did you hear from Sarawat?”

Sarawat avoids an eye contact when Tine glances at him. “About what?”

“About tutoring us?”

Tine looks at Man. “Huh?”

“Look, we need your help to tutor us-”

“Me. They meant you need to help tutor me. Didn’t we talk about it before?” Sarawat glares at his friends as a way to tell them to be quiet. “And we agreed on it, right?”

“Yeah.” Tine looks hesitant but nods anyway.

Sarawat sighs in relief. There’s no way he’s going to let his friends get in the way of trying to be with his crush.

-

Boss and Man immediately sense that there is something. Sarawat was interrogated right after Tine left the school’s health unit room that day. They sure know what’s up because Sarawat isn’t the type to hog—he didn’t even care who tutor him a few days ago but now he wants Tine all for himself. They literally have never seen their best friend this passionate about something other than music and sports.

“Promise you’ll share, alright?” Man quips, sipping on the drink he made Sarawat bought for the three of them.

Sarawat nods but eyes still wandering around, in case there’s a Tine crossing the field or walking along the corridor. His heart skips a beat when he sees the top student with some of his friends coming out of the computer laboratory. They part ways with Tine making his way towards the school’s health unit room, the place they accorded for the first tutoring session. Sarawat gets up and starts running towards the school’s health unit room.

“Good luck!” Boss shouts but the boy doesn’t even look back.

“He didn’t even hear us.” Man sighs dejectedly. “We lose him, friend.”

“Oh, you’re early.” Tine greets once Sarawat shows up at the door.

“You’re early yourself.” He nods, stepping into the room.

Tine is organizing some books on the desk. Sarawat tries to peek at the title but fails, making him think if he should get his eyes checked. He somehow ends up looking down at the boy’s socked feet and wonders if he isn’t supposed to wear his shoes inside. “Your shoes?” Sarawat asks, putting away his guitar so he can start taking out his own books.

“Huh?” Tine turns his head momentarily to look at him before he continues picking out the books. “I put them in the back. I just feel like taking them off.”

Sarawat hums in reply. He finds it cute that Tine is wearing a carrot patterned sock but he doesn’t say anything about it, for it might embarrass the boy.

“I have math and economics today.” Sarawat informs when Tine is done with the books—he doesn’t know what to say when the boy’s attention is finally on him.

“Can you come over here?” Tine nods towards the stool. “Bring that too.”

So, Sarawat gets off the bed and does just that. The desk isn’t big enough for the two of them to use together but it makes do, at least until they have some other place where they can do the tutoring comfortably.

“Which do you want to do first?” Tine asks him when he’s settled.

Sarawat isn’t sure because he doesn’t understand both but he’s not ready for math yet so he chooses economics which Tine also had during the second period today. Tine asks him to take out his textbook but Sarawat never brings those heavy textbooks with him so they use Tine’s.

“Please bring it next time. It’s important.”

Tine ignores the fact that Sarawat doesn’t have anything to say to that and goes to ask him to take out his notes. So, Sarawat does. Tine takes it out of his hand and shuffles through the pages until it lands on a random page about demand curves. He goes on and on opening random pages. Sarawat doesn’t know what he’s looking for but he thinks the boy is just inspecting his notes.

Tine finally stops to sigh and put the book down, seemingly frustrated. “Honestly, do you know how to take notes?” he looks at Sarawat who shakes his head in reply.

“Show me yours.”

“I’ll show you later. Now, which chapter are you on?”

Tine shifts the textbook closer towards him so Sarawat can look for the chapter himself. Without a word, he points at the page when he finds it.

Tine nods in understatement. “Accounting, huh?”

“It’s going to be tough.” Tine says to him with a pat to his shoulder.

Sarawat stares. “For me or for you?”

Tine winces. “For the both of us, it seems.”

…30 minutes later.

“Let’s try one more time.”

Sarawat has been listening Tine’s explanation about Debits and Credits but it doesn’t mean he finds it easy to focus. Instead, he will just think of how nice the way Tine’s voice sounds to his ears or how sometimes, Tine’s expressions change in sync with the tone of voice he uses. What touches him the most is probably how he’s trying to make it easy for him to understand and how he uses gestures when he can’t come up with an easier explanation.

He just needs to fill the blanks with Debits or Credits according to the account but he gets it wrong every time. Tine has stopped trying to explain until the third time so Sarawat is on his own. He tries to remember the top student’s explanation and finally gets it right, also after the third try. Tine looks exhausted.

“Do you want to call it a day?” Sarawat asks him, genuinely concerned.

Tine glances at him. “Okay.”

Sarawat closes every book on the desk then gets up to pick his guitar.

“Aren’t you tired?” Tine looks at him in disbelief but there’s a hint of smile on his lips.

“Of music? No.” Sarawat shakes his head as he takes out his guitar and sits himself on the bed.

Tine rolls his eyes. “No, I meant after all the thinking you did.”

“Of course, I am. My head is going to explode but you said you want to hear me play this song.” Sarawat begins with random tunes, it already sounds so relaxing.

Tine straightens up in his seat when he recognizes a familiar tune.

Even if you have someone else,

it’s not important, just you looking at me satisfies me inside

Even if you have someone else, I don’t care,

no matter what reality will be like,

I don’t know, I just have you in my heart

I’ll do everything,

I’ll try every way to get you to feel warmth in your heart with me

But us just meeting,

just making eye contact makes me know well how things will be

This time, Sarawat gets to sing the whole song and Tine sings along with him. When it ends, none of them even feel the tiredness anymore. Tine has a tiny smile on his face when Sarawat looks up from his guitar and his heart starts picking up speed at the sight—it might be the first time he feels that way towards someone. It hurts but Sarawat doesn’t want to do anything to stop it. He likes the pain of having a crush on someone, he decides.

“That was really good.” Tine says as he goes to gather his books.

“Thanks,” Sarawat mutters, feels a bit warm at the face. “What song do you want me to sing next?”

Tine hums. “I can’t think of anything yet. I will let you know later.”

That means Sarawat has to learn every Scrubb songs and by all means, he will do it. He’s putting the guitar back into the case when a book appears in his vision. Tine is holding it out and waiting for him to take it, so he does. He eyes the book in his hand and holds it up with a questioning look.

“My notes. So, you know how a good note should look like.” Tine tells him.

Sarawat can’t help but smile. How cute of him. “Thanks.”

He goes to take a chocolate bar out of his bag and hands it to Tine who gets flustered by the gesture all of the sudden. “What’s this?”

“I forgot to thank you for taking care of me the other day.”

“Are you crazy?” Tine glares. “I was just treating your wounds.”

“Just take it.” Sarawat pushes it into the boy’s hand.

“Then, I’ll take it.” Tine’s voice is barely a whisper.

Sarawat smiles in approval.

It’s already dark when they’re finished getting ready to go home. The school is empty except for the security and it seems like he’s already used to seeing Tine walking out of the school building this late and it makes Sarawat concerned about the time the top student spends studying each day. He finds himself asking, “Do you always go home this late?”

“Not really.” Tine says, “Sometimes it’s even later.”

Then, he laughs when Sarawat gives him an incredulous look.

“I was kidding but yeah, I always stay back to study for a little bit.”

“Are you the school’s health unit staff or something?”

“What’s this? Am I being interrogated?”

Sarawat shakes his head. “Not an interrogation, just getting to know you.”

“Why do you want to know?” Tine asks, seeming to be genuinely curious.

Sarawat tries to look for an excuse but fails and he comes up with, “Can’t I?”

“I’m not. They just let me use the room to study.” The top student shrugs and turns to look at him. “I like the peacefulness.”

“How do you go home?” Sarawat asks when they reach the parking area.

“By walking. My house is not that far.”

“Let me give you a ride.”

“It’s okay, Wat.”

“Then don’t call for my help when there’s a ghost jumping out of the dark to-”

Tine hits him with a fist. It hurts but Sarawat doesn’t mind. “Fine. Where’s your car?”

Sarawat shakes his head and says softly, “There’s no car. I got a bike.”

Tine ends up holding the guitar case for Sarawat so he can see the front too because it will feel like he’s going to fall if the guitar is blocking his view.

“Why didn’t you just say you need someone to hold it for you?” Tine complained.

“What?”

“Why did you use ghost as an excuse?” Tine yells.

“How did you know?”

“So, I was right? It was just an excuse?” Tine is pouting but Sarawat can’t see it unfortunately.

“No ghost,” A pause. “I just want to take you home.”

Oh my god, Tine thinks. What the hell is with this guy? And it’s too bothersome to lean forward every damn time to talk to Sarawat and Tine is getting tired so he just mutters under his breath. “I hate you, Sarawat.”

-

Sarawat doesn’t find Tine in the school’s health unit room for the first time but he decides to wait. There’s a girl inside whom he doesn’t recognize and she looks genuinely surprised when she sees him entering the room. She’s probably thanking all the heavens for being lucky enough to be in the same room with Sarawat.

“Can I wait for Tine here?” Sarawat says as he takes a seat on the stool.

The girl nods, she looks a bit nervous. “Of course.”

Sarawat thinks it’s the right time to practice for the song that his band going to play for the school concert next month. It’s another Scrubb song called Kao Gun Dee. Tine has told him in one of their tutoring sessions that it’s one of his favorites as one of those things that he said absent-mindedly—he probably doesn’t know that Sarawat heard him. He’s been practicing hard since then.

“Sarawat, do you still want to wait?”

Sarawat looks up from his guitar and pulls out his earphones. He then turns his head to look out the window, it’s almost dark. Time flies when he’s immersed in his guitar practice. “Yeah.” he tells the girl who raises a brow before handing him a key with a cute rabbit keychain.

“Would you lock up for me?”

He takes the key and nods. “Don’t worry.”

“Thanks.” The girl then excuses herself and he’s alone. Tine is probably not going to show up. He’s wondering what’s taking the other so long but before he decides to go check up on the top student, Tine bursts into the room. Sarawat sighs in relief but frowns upon seeing how tired the other looks. There are dark shadows under his eyes, he looks a bit pale and just worn-out in general. It’s so apparent that he’s been studying non-stop.

“You-” Tine tries to catch his breath. “Why are you still here?”

Sarawat stares at him. “I was about to leave but you came.”

Tine clears his throat. “But I didn’t think you would wait this long.”

“Where have you been?”

Tine takes a seat on his usual seat behind the desk. It’s the sight Sarawat has gotten used to for the past weeks and he’s actually getting attached to it. He’s afraid that one day he won’t be able to see it again.

“Complementary classes.” Tine rolls his eyes.

Sarawat notices that the top student doesn’t have his bag with him. His fingers are full of tint that’s probably leaked out of the pen from how long it’s used at a time.

“Let’s skip today.” Sarawat says, placing his guitar back into the case.

“Huh? Why?” Tine looks at him curiously.

“You look like you’re about to pass out anytime soon.”

“I’m not, Salaleo!”

Sarawat walks over to the door, looking as if he’s going to leave Tine behind. “Let’s go or I’ll lock you in.”

“Where are we going?” Tine stands up and follows him out the room.

“Get your bag.”

It would be such a rare sight to see that Sarawat is the one locking up today. If Tine notices, he doesn’t say anything.

“And then?” Tine asks when Sarawat hands him the key.

Sarawat looks at him. “I don’t know. Where do you want to go?”

.

.

They end up not going anywhere because Tine is ‘so tired he could pass out’ despite saying he won’t pass out. Sarawat doesn’t actually want to take him anywhere other than home because of the same reason. He wants Tine to use his time to rest and it doesn’t hurt to take a day off sometimes. As usual, Tine lets Sarawat takes him home—almost like expecting him to, it’s becoming like a routine.

“Wat, give me your phone.”

Sarawat gives the top student his phone, wondering what he’s going to do with the device. He finds out when Tine’s own phone rings.

“I saved my number, so next time we can text each other if we can’t make it to the tutoring session.”

Wait, if he knows it’s going to be this easy to get his number then Sarawat would’ve asked sooner. He blinks at his own phone with Tine’s contact displayed on the screen. He’s trying not to smile. “Why didn’t you think of this sooner?”

“Shut up. You didn’t either.”

“What are you waiting for?” Tine asks him when he sees Sarawat leans on his bike.

“I’m making sure you get inside safely.”

Tine rolls his eyes but finds that he still can’t get used to Sarawat says. “I can land a punch. Do you want to try?”

“Hurry. Just get inside and get some rest.”

Tine lowers his fists. “Fine. I’ll get going then.”

Sarawat just nods and waves his hand a little, watching Tine’s back as the top student walks towards the gate and before he disappears into the house, Sarawat decides to send him a text. They’re actually still close enough for him to hear the notification ringtone of Tine’s phone and close enough for Sarawat to see Tine stopping in his track to check.

No studying. Good night.

- Good night, you jerk.

Sarawat chuckles silently and looks up to see that Tine has gotten into his house. Mission clear. That reply from Tine is going to be the only thing he thinks of on the way home tonight.

-

Sarawat doesn’t feel particularly nervous about the exams—not that he ever does and Tine’s help actually boosts his confidence a little that he can pass this time even when he didn’t pay attention most of the time. Tine is always so distracting and more interesting to look at. It’s like he becomes more and more enticed each passing day there’s no point in denying that he’s fallen in love already.

“What is R̂xngh̄ị̂ in English?”

Boss reads off the notes in his hand, Sarawat’s to be exact. It’s the first day of exam week and they’re sitting in front of the class to do a review. “Cry.” Sarawat replies with a straight face. English is surprisingly the easiest subject for him because he doesn’t have to deal with numbers. Tine always gives the best explanation and tips on how take notes that his notes are all neat and easy to read now.

“Turns out you only need to know how to take notes.” Man pokes him with his elbow.

“I need someone to explain it to me too.”

Man scoffs. “You need someone or you need Tine?”

Sarawat just ignores his best friend and joins Boss in reading the notes. Man taps him on the shoulder a few seconds later and Sarawat looks up to see that Tine is there. When the bell rings, Boss and Man leave to give them some privacy. Sarawat stands up. “What’s up?” he says with a nod. Tine looks healthier than the last time he saw him two days ago and it relieves him more than anything.

“Good luck.” Tine says, rising his fist as if giving him a courage.

Sarawat smiles, finding the gesture cute with the other’s serious look on his face. “Good luck to you too, Tine.” he reaches out to ruffle the top student’s hair. It might just be his imagination but there’s a faint blush on Tine’s cheeks. He ruffles it some more until the other frowns and gets away from his hand.

“If I pass these exams, will you please go watch me at the school’s concert?”

Tine is silent as he looks into Sarawat’s eyes with an unreadable expression. He wishes he can tell what’s going on inside Tine’s head and if he’s thinking about him at all like how Sarawat’s mind has been occupied by him.

“Okay.” Tine nods slowly, shy. “See you later.” then walks off to his classroom at the end of the hallway.

Sarawat watches him with a smile before turning to go to the battlefield. He’s going to win this war.

-

It’s starting. Even when he still some time until it’s his band’s turn, Sarawat is restless. He’s memorized every chord, every lyric to the song but still finds that he’s nervous—what if he screws up? He doesn’t know if Tine is going to come but still. Boss and Man try to calm him down, they’re really such good friends.

He decides to put his guitar away. He has a feeling that if he keeps practicing, he’s going to forget it all by the time he’s on stage. Sarawat just sits there at the backstage with his friends, listening to the performers singing, playing instruments and after this band’s performance, it’s his turn. Right in the middle of the day where is just above your head but Sarawat doesn’t care.

He only cares about Tine. He wants Tine to see him and watch him play the song for him. He wants to thank him through this song, also hoping he can get his feelings across. And it’s for the top student to decide after that. Sarawat is hoping that they can be friends, at least. For Tine not to hate him—no, hate is better than no feelings at all. Sarawat smiles bitterly at the scenario playing inside his head.

He should stop.

“Wat, come on.”

Someone claps his shoulder, it’s a senior. Sarawat nods and turns to take his guitar with him. He looks at Boss and Man one last time before climbing up the stairs to the stage. He spots his best friends in the crowd immediately and feels a little less nervous than before. He’s used to this, it’s not his first time so he got this—he keeps telling himself. They’re going to start but Tine is still nowhere to be found.

I never imagined I’d find such a good day with us right here

At just the first meeting,

I immediately felt like there was something

When we spoke, I knew and saw that it was meaningful

There’s something between the two of us,

connecting us together

Sarawat feels something similar to pain in his chest but he keeps going, his eyes keep searching but they don’t find what they’re looking for.

(We both understand) easily

We’re so (different from everyone else)

(Both our inner thoughts) say how much we think together

There. He finds him and they lock eyes.

I’ve never met anyone else,

not to the right, not to the left, they were too imperfect

You don’t see things pessimistically or selfishly,

but you have something extraordinary

None of them look away. There’s the adrenaline rush, Sarawat is becoming even more certain of his feelings now.

I’ve never met anyone else who wasn’t fast,

wasn’t slow, wasn’t too small

But you have something that’s better than anyone else,

you’re perfect with your heart, you can stay with me just fine

When the song ends, Sarawat gets off the stage as fast as he can and leaves his guitar to Man and Boss who just shake their head but keeps the guitar for their best friend anyway. He’s running through the crowd to where Tine is standing at the very back, waiting for him. Sarawat takes his hand and drags him to somewhere less crowded and less…noisy where they like it.

“Really?” Tine laughs.

Sarawat pushes the door to the school’s health unit room and steps inside with Tine close behind him, their hands still intertwined.

“Tine, I-”

Tine clamps a hand over Sarawat’s mouth. “I think I know what you’re going to say.”

Sarawat stays silent even after Tine has removed his hand.

“Is it what I think it is?”

“What?” Sarawat just stares but now it makes Tine’s face gradually becomes redder.

“A thank you?”

Sarawat looks at him in disbelief.

Tine hides his face in his hand and groans. “No?”

“Actually, you are not wrong but there’s something more.”

Tine glares. “You literally sang me Scrubb songs almost every day and I think that’s enough if you wanted to thank me.”

Sarawat chuckles. “It’s a bit different because of the confession, you see.”

“Oh, god.” Tine looks like he can’t believe his ears.

“Are you planning to answer?”

“It’s more difficult than any math problems.”

Sarawat is anticipating an answer, his heart is beating like crazy but he tries not to pressure the top student who looks like he’s at his limit and about to explode. “I mean, we still can be friends if you don’t want-”

A kiss on his cheek cuts him off completely as Sarawat stands there frozen. Tine retreats back to his position and winces. “That’s my answer.” he says softly, avoiding an eye contact with Sarawat. He’s shy and it’s probably the most adorable sight Sarawat has ever seen.

“I think that’s good enough. For now.” he smiles and tightens his hold on Tine’s hand.