*Note: text message is written in bold and italic

Without awareness of the road or the rain, the car moves over the highway, lights on full beam. You watch how the twilight fades into a comforting black as night falls. The blue haze of day lifts to reveal the brilliant pearls of the nighttime that sit as if cushioned upon pure black velvet. The sky is so beautiful. Too bad they can’t see it often as this breath-taking scene is blocked by those concreted skyscrapers in Seoul. What a shame! Minju always likes the night sky. She could spend the entire day doing nothing but looking up at it if she even got her chance. 

“Oh come on, who can resist the charm and mystery of the night? It was so fascinating when the stars filled the sky like pale corn into freshly turned ground. It is like the promise of life in the darkness, a sense of warmth springing from the cold. Well, if there is a person who could say no to all of that, I will feel very sorry for them.” That’s what she said when you asked her why she didn’t even get bored with this, before she went on a full speed presentation of what those idiots with no sense of art have missed. Letting out a small chuckle, your Minmin is indeed a cute nerd. 

You remember back then, when they just debuted, you and her sneaked out from the dorm while their dorm mates had fallen into a deep slumber. They are actually not allowed to do that. As an idol, getting a decent sleep is a luxury, so they should take their time to rest whenever they get the chance. But with the enthusiastic plea from Minju, you agreed to sneak out of the dorm at night and go stargazing with her without thinking for a second. Ignoring the fact that you would get less sleep than you could have and the possibility of Eunbi unnie finding out about their little mischief. 

Sign.

 So much for being whipped. But who are you going to blame? Even back then, Kim Minju already had you wrapped around her fingers. 

Luckily, no one has even caught them. 

But, even if they were caught, you wouldn’t mind hearing a long scolding from the leader and the muffled laugh, threatening to be uttered of your members (namely Choi Yena and An Yujin), you still choose to go with her without thinking twice.

Memories from that night are still vivid inside your head, bringing a smile to your lips whenever you think about them.

Flashback

“How did you manage to get the key tho?” you asked, a folded jacket underneath your head. They were on the rooftop of their dorm, laying aimlessly in the old bed that some residents threw up here. One could easily be amazed by the sky of perfect midnight velvet, highlighted by stars so brilliant that they drew the eyes of heaven bound. The charming melody from Minju’s playlist played softly in the background, dispelling the troubles in your mind. From your point of view, the constellations shined as if they had been dreamed into the sky. What a beautiful night! You didn’t know you could witness something as beautiful as this right above your dorm. Thank god, you agreed to go with her. 

Looking away from the breath-taking view, you turned to get a better look at her. Minju was right next to you, eyes looking straight at the fantastic scene right before them. You didn’t know what she was thinking, but knowing how nerdy she is, she was probably naming all constellations she recognized inside her mind.

“Ah, about that. I made friends with the janitor. She is the one who told me this place and gave me the spare key, knowing how much I love astronomy.”

That’s a surprise. Don’t get you wrong. The Kim Minju you know is a shy and timid girl who is too shy to talk to someone first. So hearing her reaching out and being close enough for them to give her something quite important like that (the rooftop they are currently at is quite a restricted area, not everyone has access) was quite a character development.

Unknowingly, you let yourself immerse in her beauty. Soft brunette hair, which she dyed yesterday, fanned on the folded jacket underneath her head. Big round eyes sparkling in the night, deep and mystery like Minju brought the entire universe into hers. Her straight, tall, and slim nose was the highlight of this beautiful painting.

Minju’s always been pretty. But there was something about her at night that makes the night Minju different from day Minju. Maybe it's the moonlight shining above them, or perhaps it’s the gentle melody echoing in the background. Does everyone have this aura at night? You don’t know. But whatever it was, you want to keep this sight of her all by yourself. 

Wait... 

Keeping this sight of her all by yourself!!! 

This thought made you pause. You must be out of your mind right now. Why on earth would you think of that? Stop it, Kim Chaewon. She is your bandmate. You should not think like that. You told yourself, trying to ignore the tickling feeling inside your heart.

Flustered, you turned to the sky again, choosing to focus on anything else but the beauty right next to you.

Lucky for you, Kim Minju herself had saved you before you actually start to do something stupid.

“Unnie, what is your favorite constellation?”

“hmm, Leo. It’s the first constellation my mother showed me when we were stargazing together, she said it looked like me because I am her little cub” you answer, a smile visible on your lips as you remember what your mother told you when you were a kid.

“What about yours?”

“Mine is Big Dipper, the most identifiable pattern of stars in the sky that most novice stargazers are familiar with. Big Dipper is most easily found during the summer months in the northernmost part of the sky. Plus, don’t you think it is fascinating to see such a small area like that can have so much in it - Megrez, Merak, Dubhe. Unnie, do you know that Big Dipper is not technically a constellation, but part of a constellation known as Ursa Major?”

It was the way Minju spoke with so much passion that made you forget about the flusteration earlier just for you to see her properly how excited she is when talking about something she loves (after singing and dancing, of course). Shyness and timidity had always the first things come to your mind when it comes to her. But the closer the two of you become, the more you discover from her. Along with her somewhat fragile appearance, there was also a smart brain and a burning passion for something she loves. And it was the final blow for you to fall deep into her maze and get lost in it. Leaving you to intrigue ever more.

Just like that, Minju went on with her ramble about astronomy. Not gonna lie, you got lost halfway through her ramble. But seeing her so happy about it, you just let her be. 

Later that night, you fell asleep with a head filled with the sky, the stars, the constellations - the ones Minju stolen from those deities up there and stored in her eyes.

Sign.

Earlier, right after the shooting ended, their manager was running to you in a hurry, urging you and ONLY YOU to quickly get in the car and return to Seoul. He said something about their CEO wanting your present at their company’s meeting immediately. So here you are, alone in the black van once filled with heartful laughs and jokes from your dear members, in the same sit you always share with Minju, heading back to Seoul to hear whatever business their CEO has with you.

Remembering this makes you miss her even more. You wonder if the sky where she is is as beautiful as the one you see right now. How is she doing? Is she alright? Has she slept yet?

You know she is in good hands because the members are there with her. But you can’t help this throbbing feeling slowly growing inside you, eating you away slowly. 

You want to be there to take care of her. You don’t want her to disappear from your sight, even for a minute.

Sign for n times even since you enter this car. You really need to deal with your possessive. You know Minmin likes everything about you, as a best friend, of course. But even so, the ongoing series of “What-if” scares you. What if she actually doesn't like it? What if you become too possessive and end up hurting her in the process? No, you don’t want any of that to happen. You have hurt her enough.

And not to mention, there’s something about all of it that feels... inevitable. 

You have to face the reality. She is not yours to begin with. You are just her best friend, Kim Chaewon. You should NOT act like that.

So whether you like it or not, learning to control it is the only choice you have. And it’s better for both of them.

It’s for the best. You’ve made up your mind, Kim Chaewon. Just stick with your decision.

Yeah, that’s right. Stick with it. Then they will be fine.

OK, you think that’s enough. You should stop thinking about the heartbreaking stuff. Or else you might burst into tears.

You don’t want to cry right now. You might be in the car alone with the manager. And he might not bother you if you cry. Blaming it for the stress of the upcoming comeback. But even so, you don’t want your defense to crack. You don’t want to show your weak side in front of someone else. This is a bad habit of yours, established from your rough childhood. The time spent with your members has changed you a lot. You don’t affair to tell them your worries and show them your vulnerable side. Even so, showing your weakness to someone else that is not them is another story.

Now, how could you make up for her tomorrow then? You broke their promise of always together. You know she won’t take it to heart because you don’t mean it this time. Still, some compensation doesn’t hurt. How about ice cream? Minju loves ice cream. You remember how she keeps complaining about craving for some sweets lately and how frustrated she is when the company forbids them from eating that because their comeback is near. Stupid diet. If you could, you would make that thing disappear from the world for making Minmin sad and buy her all the sweets until she gets tired of them. Eunbi unnie would nag you for spoiling her. But who cares. You like doing it. You want to spoil her with all your money.

The meeting ends quicker than you thought. Plus, there’s something about all of it that feels.... suspicious. First, they called you back, and only you, in the middle of the schedule. Calling only one member to the headquarter is not something that rare. They do have to discuss with their company on their solo activities. But asking to meet one in the middle of the group’s schedule is a different story.

Not gonna lie, at first, you thought you were a dead meat and the company was going to scold you for some troubles you had unintentionally caused. But turn out, they called you back to discuss with you about your upcoming comeback as a solo . That is kinda suspicious tho. The company could wait until you finish the schedule with your members and go back to Seoul instead of calling you back to the office so suddenly in the middle of the schedule. Seriously, what with the rush tho?

All of it alone is already off. And the fact that you meet Seo Hanyul there is only adding more suspicion.

Flashback

“Chaewon ah, we’re here.”

Stepping outside, you're greeted by the sight of the quiet parking lot. The simple transparent glass door is in front of you. The manager told you to go first, saying that he has to get something in the car. You give him a single nod as an acknowledgement and make your way to the elevator.

There you find someone unexpectedly waiting in front of the elevator. A cursory glance makes an appearance in your eyes. Is that Seo Hanyul? What is he doing here at this hour? You don’t see his manager around.

He turns to look at you when he notices someone is coming. A surprise look in his eyes when he sees you.

You ask him why he’s here. And it turns out, you are not the only one your CEO wants to meet.

Hmm, that’s strange. Why does that jerk want to meet them?

Don’t get you wrong, you don’t care who that cunning jerk wants to meet. It's just something telling you that something not good is about to happen.

On the way to the CEO’s room, Hanyul fills you in with a little bit more detail. And most of them are similar to your story. This deepens the uneasy feelings in your stomach.

That jerk definitely is planning something.

But what could it be? A collaboration? Could be. They are label mates so there is a potential for that. But your gut tells you that’s not it. 

Then... could it be that? No way. That cunning jerk is not that low, right?

A familiar ringtone interrupts your thoughts. A small smile blooms on your lips just by listening to it. You couldn’t help yourself tho. That’s a special ringtone you set only for someone. Someone came to your boring life suddenly and took your heart with ease. And you let her do that.

Heart throbbing loudly in your chest. You don't forget to check your appearance before starting their video call. You want to look good in her eyes.

A comfy Minju popped into your screen, dressed in a white oversized hoodie with a cute cartoon cub printed on it - your favorite hoodie. Her black hair is pulled back into a low ponytail. Two locks hanging down at the sides of her face. Even with the lack of makeup, it is also impossible to obscure her beauty. Gosh! How could a person look like that!

“Chaewonie!” She says cheerily from the other side of the line.

“Hey, Minmin.” You chuckle. 

“What happened? Why are they calling you back so suddenly?” She asks, worries evident in her tone.

“Ah, about that. There is nothing much.” A pregnant pause before you continue.  “They just want to talk about my future comeback as a soloist.” Not that you want to hide the fact that you met Seo Hanyul there from her. You want to figure out the jerk’s intention before telling her. Besides, knowing Minju, she will get worried about that. You don’t want to make her worry. 

“Thank god. I was so damn worried when they suddenly called you back to the office. I thought something bad was going to happen.” 

“Sorry, Minju ah.” You feel bad. You shouldn’t make her worry.

“It’s fine unnie. You are okay now. And that’s enough.” 

“How was your dinner?”

“It was fun. Hyewon unnie and Yena unnie keeped fighting for food and both of them ended up being scolded by Eunbi unnie. But that’s not the fun part. Yujinie was acting like a cool girl on cam, but when the cameramen stopped filming, she immediately turned into a big puppy that kept whining to get Wonyoung attention. She even made Wonyoung feed her in front of everyone just because she saw her doing that to Chaeyeon unnie.” Minju said. Soft giggles raid in between.

“Aish.That kid.” You grumble. “I know I said I like to see them being together. But isn't this too much? That puppy is becoming too possessive. She doesn’t even let me spend too much time with Wonyoungie without sending me some burning glances.” 

You automatically tremble just at the mention of that. Seriously, what's wrong with her tho? As far as you remember, you didn’t do anything bad that may upset her.

She giggles at your reaction. “Are you sure you can say that? Cuz I don’t think Yujinie is the only one with that attitude here.” She teases you.

“Hey! I do NOT like that.” You said. Clearly unhappy by her statement. You are nothing like that big puppy.

You give her an annoyed look to show how disapproved you are. However, she only laughs harder, despite your best attempt to look annoyed in front of her. 

Embarrassed, you wonder if you should turn off the call. 

Nah, you know you don’t have a heart to do that. You are too soft for Minju. So, you try to change the subject before your face becomes a tomato.

“Anything else that happened while I wasn’t there?”

“Hmm, nothing much. Just us fooling around on a daily basis.That’s it.” She shrugs before hugging her pillow tighter. “But….um unnie, I did miss you.”

“I’ve only been gone for a few hours tho?” Now it’s time to pay back the previous teasing.

 “A few hours are too long!” She whines as she rolls around in bed. Her legs hitting the sheets repeatedly. “Why can’t tomorrow come faster. I’m dying to see you.”

She is too cute.

You’re pretty sure you have heart eyes going on right now, but do you care?

Nah, of course not.

Minju dozes off halfway through their call. You don’t wake her up, just silently watching her sleep as the camera is still filming a close-up of her sleeping face.

You take a photo of the sleeping beauty before letting the drowsiness invade.

That night, you fell asleep with your phone clenched tightly in your hands.

Sunlight fills the room, coloring the room with the bright light of a new day, of a new hope, slowly waking you up from the sweet dream full of white and vanilla.

Your eyelids flutter open. You instinctively snuggle into the pillows and cover yourself with the blankets. The ones still have the faint scent of her sweet vanilla on the sheets. Maybe because you sleep on Minju’s bed instead of yours, so that’s why.

You want to stay in bed for longer, but you know she (and your lovely members too) is waiting for you.

Charging your phone that has completely drawn out because of the late night call last night, you see 40 missing calls and messages from Eunbi.

That can’t be good.

Not only Eunbi unnie, you also receive hundreds of missed calls and messengers from mom and dad, from other members, and close friends of yours.

Now, something terrible must have happened.

Hurry, you click on the messages sent to you.

YA KIM CHAEWON, OPEN YOUR DAMN PHONE. YOU’RE DEAD MEAT!!! 

Is it true? When did it happen?

Why didn't you tell me you and Seo Hanyul are dating?

Eyebrows furrowed, you frown. What are they talking about? 

YOU AND SEO HANYUL??? DATING???

How is it even possible?

They don’t even have each other's phone number.

You couldn’t stop squirming in your seat, heart bouncing as you search your name in Naver search engine.

Your eyes turn dark and the typically warm chestnut hues mixing in with cold hostility when you realize what happened. That jerk set you up. He called you and Hanyul there so the reporter could take a photo of you and Hanyul going in the same place for a marvelous dating scandal that the ty CEO wants.

The world is dyed in crimson red, and you’re really, really pissed. How dare he.

You hurry dialed his number to lash out your anger at him. But responding to your anger is just his casual attitude.

“Seeing you call me this early, then you must have seen the news already. Don’t be so mad about it kid. Didn't others do the same thing like this? Besides, at the end, the two of you will get benefits from this. You get the attention you need for your debut solo and Hanyul brings the fame for his group. Isn’t it one stone kills two birds that they always said? Oh, don’t worry about the impacts. Everything is going to be okay after a while. You know, this happened to Minju once, so you can be assured. Just wait a few months then you will be the hottest soloist out there.”

Wait..What.

What does he mean this happened to Minju once? 

The chunks rose up from the abyss, slowly covering every part of your chest. You - You think that is, uh, it's getting a little harder to breathe. Did he just imply that Minju’s dating scandal was also a setup? You need to ask her.

As if on clue, a familiar caller ID flash on your screen. It is Wonyoung that calls you.

Quickly swiping the green button, you are welcomed by a muffled sob from her.

“What happened, Wonyoungie? Why are you crying?”

The next things coming from completely leave frozen.

“Chaewon unnie, please come here fast. Minju unnie fainted.”