“What should I do Soo-ya?” Baekhyun throws the question in the air.

 

“Do you think I still have a chance Soo-ya?” Kyungsoo combed his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, who had his head lying on his thigh.

 

“Hm.. But you are the only one in my heart though.” Baekhyun remembers laughing. Why were they dating in the first place? Cause neither of them had found their soul mates yet.

 

But for Baekhyun,

 

He simply loved his penguin. And he was so ing afraid that one day, the colors of penguin’s eyes would turn as same as the person he was fated to be with, and he will be left alone.

 

He felt ing selfish wanting to keep Kyungsoo only to himself. Wouldn’t his world be void if there were no Kyungsoo? How could he think a day where he didn’t get kiss the boy he loved with all his heart? He thought of every stupid thing that might happen if either of them suddenly finds their soul mate. He kept on worrying. He kept on thinking. How he will deal with the inevitable heartbreak.

 

He wasn’t even Kyungsoo’s soul mate. Yet how could he love him so much?

 

“Soo-ya..” Baekhyun stopped at his track for a while. The portrait of Kyungsoo was almost done, except of the eyes.

 

“Hm..?” The said male hums.

 

“What colors do you want your eyes to be?”

 

Kyungsoo looks at his way this time. His left eye shines brilliantly, just like how sun reflects on ice.

 

“What color do you want me to have?” Kyungsoo questions back.

 

“Blue.” Baekhyun replies without hesitation.

 

“I can’t return the other one of the pair to you though.” Kyungsoo looks at the boy sitting on the grass with paint brush with blue smudged on the bristles. The left eye of him was shining brilliantly.

 

Just like how sun reflects on ice.

 

But when the day came, Baekhyun really didn’t feel anything. Or he should say he didn’t know how to feel, what to feel.

 

“Soo-ya… hey didn’t you go for an interview?” Kyungsoo had applied for a part time singing job in a newly opened bar in their neighborhood. But here he was, in Baekhyun’s dorm, in his arms, his face buried in his chest. Baekhyun could feel his shirt dampening with the tears of the boy in his arms.

 

“Soo-ya.. Hey penguin, look at me.” But Kyungsoo wouldn’t budge. He kept on muttering “I’m sorry” “I’m sorry”.

 

After much coaxing, Kyungsoo looked at him. His eyes puffy because of the tears he had shed. His eyes looked very red. And so very blue.

 

For a moment Baekhyun seemed to forget the meaning behind it. His Soo was looking so very beautiful.

 

“Omo.. Look at my penguin! So ing pretty!” Baekhyun had said cupping his face in his palm, putting a soft kiss on the damp cheek.

 

 

“Why did I have to meet him.” Kyungsoo’s voice broke, more tears rolled down to his cheeks. He clutched onto Baekhyun even more. Baekhyun didn’t say anything. How should he feel?

 

“Hey..Look at me..” Baekhyun looked into those eyes again.

 

“Don’t be like this…” The crying boy didn’t pay any heed to it.

 

 

“I can’t be away from you.”Kyungsoo said pressing his heart shaped lips against Baekhyun’s thinner ones.

 

Baekhyun still said nothing. Hadn’t he prepared himself for this since the very beginning?

 

“Baek….I want you.” Kyungsoo suddenly demanded.

 

“What…?” Baekhyun stared at his lover.

 

“Please.. Make love to me.” The urgency in the other’s eyes made Baekhyun waiver.

 

give in! Don’t give in!” Baekhyun kept on chanting to himself.

 

“Don’t push me away please..” Kyungsoo said, pressing another kiss on the other male’s lips.

 

“This is going to be the last time…” Baekhyun tried to reason himself. Heechul said he would come back early today. But he didn’t care anymore. Soon clothes came off. Baekhyun showered kissed all over the exposed skin of the boy beneath him. Their body rocked slowly, lips never leaving each other. Both of them were doing a failed attempt to make this time last.

 

“You look so ing beautiful….” Baekhyun said, looking deep into those ashy blue eyes.

 

“I could never draw you so beautifully.”

 

“My beautiful Soo!”

 

“ Byun! Why the hell the room is so dark!” Baekhyun’s roommate said irritatingly, his shin still hurting from hitting the shoe rack. Switching on the light, Heechul was greeted with a kind of familiar sight. Kyungsoo was sleeping peacefully on Baekhyun’s bed, probably under the sheets. But Baekhyun…

 

He was sitting by the bed, clad in his boxers with his knees folded and drawn to his chest. Hands propped over the knees, head hanging low.

 

“The room stinks Byun! Why the did you not open the window?” Heechul attempts to open the window.

 

“Hyung.. don’t” Baekhyun says in a broken voice.

 

“Please don’t….” Heechul was taken aback as Baekhyun suddenly broke down, chest heaving as heavy cry broke out of his chest. Muffled cry resonated throughout the small apartment.

 

Awoken by the cry, Kyungsoo jerked up. Heechul was thunderstruck. Kyungsoo…

 

The said male jumped out of bed and threw himself in Baekhyun’s arms. Baekhyun only cried harder.

 

“Soo-ya… Don’t go please…” The crying male pleaded, wrapping his arms around the other in a desperate manner. Kyungsoo just pulled Baekhyun closer, his own eyes filling with tears once again.

 

“I love you! I love you! Please…”

 

“Soo-ya!”

 

Baekhyun jolts awake from his slumber. His shirt drenched in sweat. He doesn’t know why he’s having these fragments of memories again. He headed to his bathroom to freshen up. The bed side clock read forty past three in the morning. Turning on the light, Baekhyun splashes cold water on his face, hoping to feel better.

 

He looked into the mirror. Baekhyun has always had a mixed emotion about his eye. He would spend minutes after minutes looking at his own eyes through the mirror.

 

“Why do you want your eyes to be blue?” Baekhyun remembers asking Kyungsoo every time, again and again. Just to know if the answer’s still the same.

 

“Because that means I always have half of your soul.”

 

“Did you return the half of it penguin?” Baekhyun asks at his own reflection.

 

 

 

Baekhyun thought he was remembering his times with Kyungsoo way too much these days. He should visit him some day now.

 

He noticed the pain he used to feel each time he thought of Kyungsoo weren’t there anymore. Just a feeling of void would ring in his heart. It’s true that he can never stop loving the man. But the pain of losing him weren’t as much painful as it was before. He had gotten used to it.

 

But Chanyeol was never in his plans. Having his soul mate with him, right there was overwhelming. He didn’t know what to feel.

 

How many years has it been? Since he has said I love you to someone? How many years has it been since he’s even felt how it felt to love? He even forgot how to love.

 

He got his soul mate after so many years of waiting, now having him felt like a nuisance. Nuisance because he doesn’t know how to treat the man who’s ready to risk his everything for someone like him.

 

“What should I do Soo-ya?” Baekhyun throws this question in the air again.

 

“You know I kept on dreaming about Soo.” Baekhyun feels his friend’s movement stuttering a bit. But Yifan’s face doesn’t show any change in emotion.

 

“I thought I had moved on from him. But realized I can never do that.”

 

“Just the pain of losing him doesn’t hurt anymore.” Baekhyun sips on the glass of water.The sound of chopsticks clanking against the utensils were the only sound for some moment.

 

“I’m sorry..” The bar owner says.Baekhyun felt like slapping himself for bringing up the topic at their breakfast table.

 

“Yah! What the ? Why is everyone making me look like the bad guy?” Yifan laughs and Baekhyun huffs in annoyance.

 

“No.. Really. Soo was yours to begin with.”

 

“I took him away from you.” Yifan had a playful look in his eyes.

 

“Yifan.” But Baekhyun was having none of it.

 

“Soo was your soul mate. You were meant to be with him.” The artist replied.

 

“Isn’t Chanyeol the same for you then Baek?”

 

Yifan had a smile of victory on his face and Baekhyun was stunned.

 

“Baek..” The bar owner calls out, putting his palm over the artist’s fisted hand.

 

“Look, Soo would have been the happiest about Chanyeol. You know that right?” Baekhyun doesn’t look at Yifan in the eye.

 

“You thought about his happiness over yours.”

 

“Don’t you think it’s time you found your own?”

Chanyeol looks at the screen again. No new message from Baekhyun. For a week straight. Did he go a bit over board that day? Chanyeol couldn’t break down anything. He sighs and gets back to his work. And he snatches his phone at lightning speed when a *New message* tone rings.

 

New message From: Byun Baekhyun

Chanyeol-ssi, can we meet at dinner tonight? My treat.

 

Chanyeol feels like his heart doing summersaults at the text.

 

To: Byun Baekhyun

Sure. Text me the details.

 

And three hours left before his shift for that day was over seemed to have been going slowly.

 

Chanyeol rushes out of the meeting room. The last meeting took longer than usual. Looking at his wrist watch, he dashes out to his car, only to see he forgot his keys at his office room.

 

Great!

Baekhyun had his hands in his coat pocket, kicking a small pebble on the street.

 

Chanyeol was probably running late. He came from his art class earlier just so he wouldn’t be late. But his companion for the night was.

 

Just when he was thinking he’d call the taller, a black car stops just beside him.

 

“Baekhyun-ssi! I’m so sorry I’m late again.”

 

“Ssi again?” Baekhyun kind of liked when Chanyeol had called him ‘Baekhyun-ah’

 

“It’s okay. Park your car around here. We’re eating here tonight.” Chanyeol looks out and sees a barbeque house.

 

“I’m sorry for always being late like this.” Baekhyun just smiles.

 

“It’s okay Chanyeol-ssi. You are a busy person to begin with.” Chanyeol nods in acknowledgement.

 

“I’m sorry for disappearing for this week. I just needed to collect my thoughts.” Baekhyun says and his soul mate from the other side of the table shakes his head.

 

“No no! I went a bit overboard and said too much.”

 

“I’m so sorry for making you cry.” Guilt was prominent in Chanyeol’s eyes and Baekhyun realized he didn’t like this expression on the taller man’s face.

 

“But I needed that talk.” The latter looks at him with confused eyes.

 

“I needed someone to tell me those actually.”

 

“So Chanyeol-ssi..”

 

“Thank you for making me cry.” Chanyeol beams and rest of the dinner went in relatively silent.

 

“Chanyeol-ssi, let’s go for a drink.” Baekhyun offers getting out of the barbeque house.

 

“I won’t get you drunk, I promise.” Baekhyun smiles at the confused face of the taller.

 

“Let’s leave your car here. The bar’s just few block away.”

 

“Can I hold your hand?” Baekhyun feels his heart beating a bit faster. But he holds out his own hand anyway.

 

The hand holding onto his own hand felt warm, unlike the day before. It was comfortable.

 

“Oh.. Tenshi-sama! You’ve brought a customer with you tonight?” Yifan says without seeing the conjoined hand of his friend.

 

“Yifan, he’s Chanyeol.” Baekhyun introduces and the bar owner’s eyes widen a bit.

 

“Oh! I see. I’m Wu Yifan, onwner of this bar.” Yifan holds out his hand to the new customer.

 

“Park Chanyeol.”

 

“So Tenshi-sama, what do you want?” Yifan asks despite knowing what the latter was going to order.

 

“You know me.”

 

“Chanyeol-ssi, is there anything specific you want?” Baekhyun asks his partner.

 

“What are you having?” He asks back.

 

“Sweet warm sake. Have you tried it?” Chanyeol shakes his head. He never had warm alcohol, that too a sweet one.

 

“Then I’ll try the same.”

 

“Why call him Tenshi sama?” Chanyeol asks in while Baekhyun was away in the restroom.

 

“Oh! It’s just whenever he comes, a good amount of customer always visits. So he’s like, the angel of prosperity for my bar.” Yifan says with a short laugh.

 

“And with his eyes so blue like tha