Everyone has a secret love song. Some have a sweet, beautiful love song. Some have a sad, broken love song. We are 2 different kinds, while you have a sweet one, I tend to have a sad and broken one. 

My name is Sooyoung, Ha Sooyoung. I am a Dance Major student, but I also minor in Vocal Art. I create music, sing, perform, and choreograph. I teach dance in my free time and also work at a café when I am not teaching. Let’s say, I am just a struggling student that will do anything to pay for my tuition. 

They called me nerd, they said I am cold. But some find me hot and they flirt. Well, not to brag, but behind my glasses and baggy shirts, I do have a nice body with tone abs. it’s just I don’t think it is necessary to show it to the public. 

I have a secret that I can’t tell. It’s just for me and her to keep. But sometimes I wish I could tell the world of a secret that we both kept behind closed doors. I wish I could hold your hands in public, and I could steal kisses from you in the open. 

Every time I see you, my heart skips a beat. Every piece of you, it’s meant for me. It fits perfectly, you and I. Every second, I thought about you, and every time I thought, I fall deeper. But I could never show it because we got homeless love. 

I always wonder, why can’t you hold my hands when we are in the street? Why can’t I kiss you when we are out in the public? Why can’t I touch you when we dance on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that, but why can’t? When I am yours and you are mine. 

Then I realize. We are never meant to be together because you are someone else’s baby. You always have a home to go back to, while I am a wandering lost soul. I wonder when you are with him, do you call his by pet name? Like you do when you are with me. I wonder, would you leave him when I am ready to settle down? Or would you play safe and stay with him? 

I always questioned. Why did you choose to do this? When you also know that we got a hopeless love. A love where we couldn’t hold each other hands, nor kiss in the open. A love that is almost impossible. 

I don’t want to hide us away, I want to tell the world about our love. I want to show the world about the love we are making, the love we are sharing. And I am still living for that day. Although I know, that is impossible. Hence here I wrote a sad love song. A secret love song that only I know of. And maybe, one day I could share with the world.

Why can’t you hold me in the street?

Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that

Why can’t it be like that? 

‘Cause I’m yours

Why can’t I say that I’m in love?

I wanna shout it from the rooftops

I wish that it could be like that

Why can’t we be like that?

‘Cause I’m yours

**********

“Did you regret it, Jiwoo?” 

“Jungeun… Hey.” 

“You do know that you are the one that causes the pain, right?”

“I know. And I regret it. But everything is too late now. She is better off that way.” 

“You hurt her.”

“I know. I am hurting too.” 

**********

My name is Ha Sooyoung. I was known as Yves to the world, the singer of a sad love song. A song called “ Secret Love Song ”, a song that I created for someone I used to love, for someone that I know I could never share the beautiful love song with.