UNCHANGEBLY

*

Mindlessly walking in the middle of the night with the rain pouring heavily left Sandara unbothered. She did not even care if she's drench or if she'd get sick after nor if a passerby might recognize her; all she knows is that she felt empty and wished that the heavy downfall could wash the emptiness away. 

She thought and act as if everything is fine. 

The way her fans,friends, and her family came to watch and congratulated her for the success of AOHY Musical was really blissful especially because they have seen how her hardwork paid off and sang praises of her talent though it is her first time to starred in Musical. The media and other online platforms finally acknowledged and glorify her skills, not as the fresh vocal of her former band 2ne1 but rather as a solo artist who could stand alone on her own two feet yet could still make the crowd left in awe just like how they were back in the day. 

Nothing lasts forever. 

Just like how the curtains close signalling the end of the show, how all the lights fade out welcoming the darkness, how the voices with blasting cheers succumb to a defeaning silence- gone. The sleepless nights she have because of rehearsals and vocal lessons now turned back to normal. The shared stories and group hang out between the cast now became a memory. All thats left is the void she couldn't even fill for she herself doesn't know why exactly she felt that way. 

Maybe because she misses the feeling of staying awake at a wee hour of the day just to get the perfect feel of a certain scene they need to act to deliver the right emotion. Or maybe it is the adrenaline that keeps her motivated during their Musical rehearsals that it doesnt matter if she went on an empty stomach but could still keep up with her co stars but unable to feel these days. 

She wanted to cry. To pour her heart out. Wanted to cry the emptiness away, wanted to be her usual self- the cheerful and bright Dara: The vitamin D the world had known but for some reason she just couldn't. The sky maybe pitied her thats why it is crying in her behalf and just like how the pavement fully welcomed the rain, she as well embraced the coldness and emptiness she is feeling with her eyes closed waiting for the darkness to consume her for maybe that way the emptiness will be gone. 

But then an image struck her mind and so she started to long for someone. 

Someone who stand out in the crowd even if he do his best not to. Someone who gave her the loudest clap and proudest smile during the curtain call. Someone who gave the warmest hug at the backseat of her car amidst the hundreds given by her friends a while back. Someone who gave her that one-stemmed flower that makes her smile the widest despite the bouquets surrounding her. Someone who couldn't stop singing her solo part because it became his fave song instantly. Someone who would peck her lips a hundred times to make up for the missed shows during the entire musical schedule to show how he is deeply sorry for not being with