Anger

Tzuyu didn’t really know what to do.

She couldn’t stay in the hotel forever and it really looked like Chaeyoung wasn’t going to come back to her. This left Tzuyu’s life in a weird standstill, she was still paying all the bills for their apartment and until colleges opened for re-admission she couldn’t get back to her original life plan just yet. Taiwan was completely out of the question. Even if she did go grovelling back to her parents they would never let her come home.

This meant she was stuck. Couldn’t go home, couldn’t go anywhere else. So for an extra few days she forked out most of her savings to stay at the hotel. The only thing she could think of was immediately contacting the collages she applied to and letting them know she was looking to reapply for the next school year if their offers were still open. After that she planned her next move and there was only one person in the world she could call.

Her cousins Victoria and Elkie lived in Seoul, quite away from where Tzuyu herself was. Their parents weren’t like Tzuyu’s, they were more open and supportive and taught their daughters to be the same. Victoria had always said that if Tzuyu needed anything she was to call them, but still she hadn’t wanted to at first. Don’t get her wrong, she adored her cousins. They were the only family she really had, but talking to them about her now ex-girlfriend was difficult.

They had always hated Chaeyoung.

Okay maybe that was a little strong, when they first started dating they had the blessing of the cousins. Then when Elkie was visiting she noticed Chaeyoung made Tzuyu do a lot, she would never compromise on anything. Tzuyu paid for their dates, their anniversaries, she even drove Chaeyoung around. It didn’t sit right with them and they told Tzuyu as much. When they found out Tzuyu was throwing all she had ever wanted out the window for the artist, the duo had gone berserk. It had put a wedge between them for a while.

To be honest, Tzuyu would rather call Jihyo. But Jihyo was Chaeyoung’s friend first, she would need her. The motherly woman was the best with advice, maybe she would be able to guide Chaeyoung back to her. So instead, Tzuyu swallowed her pride and called the small diner that her cousins owned.

“Hello, Heilong Diner. How can I help you?”

“Victoria?” Tzuyu began, a little rusty from having not spoken her native language in so long, “How are you?”

There was a pause on the other end.

“Ziyu! How unexpected! We’re fine, business as usual. How are you!?” Her cousin sounded so happy to hear from her and it was like a weight lifted from Tzuyu’s shoulders,

She swallowed, “Honestly, not good.”

“What happened? Are you okay?”

Someone was actually worrying about her, it was enough to bring tears to her eyes. But Tzuyu refused to cry, she would not be that weak.

“Chaeyoung---”

“Ugh…”

Tzuyu would have laughed but couldn’t muster it, “Chaeyoung cheated on me.”

There was another pause. Longer this time. It worried Tzuyu a little but before she could say anything she heard Elkie’s voice in the background:

“THAT DID WHAT!?”

“Elkie, go serve that table.” Victoria growled, “And please stop shouting.”

Tzuyu chuckled lightly at that.

“Are you alright? Do you want me to come help you pack up her stuff?”

“Th-That’s the thing.” Here she goes, “I’m living in a hotel, I don’t know where to go.”

“You pay for that apartment!? Why the hell does she get to keep it?”

“I know, I know.” Tzuyu sighed, sitting on the hotel bad and laying back, “I just wanted to leave, so I packed my stuff and went. I thought she’d call me and tell me to come back--”

“You can’t seriously be waiting for her to call you back like a lap dog.” Victoria was mad, “You’re better than that.”

“What do I do?”

Her voice sounded so quiet and timid that Victoria’s heart broke.

“Okay, are you still paying for everything?”

“Yes.”

Victoria swallowed another shout, “Once you hang up with me you call every company you pay money to for that apartment and cancel.”

“Okay.”

“Elkie and I will close up early tonight and we’ll come and get you tomorrow. You got accepted to a collage in Seoul right?”

“Yeah and I already contacted them about attending next year.”

“Good girl!” Victoria sighed, “So you’ll come and live with us, well timed too. The apartment above the diner just became available, I’d rather rent to family.”

“Really!? That’d be amazing.” Tzuyu sat up,

“You’re not alone kiddo.” Victoria told her, “But we will be ranting about how we told you Chaeyoung was a mooch. Plus you’ll be working in the diner.”

“Okay…”

“It’s going to be okay.”

“Thanks, Vic.” Tzuyu said quietly,

“Any time.” Victoria’s smile could be heard through the phone, “Now, tell me what happened.”

_____

Tzuyu had received the biggest hug in the world when her cousins arrived the next day.

The moment Elkie saw her she had all but tackled her to the ground and began ranting about giving Chaeyoung a piece of her mind. Victoria came next, a more calming influence. Her hug was softer and more designed for comfort, with Elkie grumbling threats a little way away. They then packed up the car with everything Tzuyu owned and began the long drive back to Seoul.

It was bittersweet passing the landmarks of the town Tzuyu had called home. She would miss it, she would miss Chaeyoung. But getting out of Seoul was the best option. When she had quit her jobs some of her co-workers had barred Chaeyoung from the premises for revenge. That had been unnecessary of them, but had made Tzuyu feel guilty for not making the time to get to know them better.

Victoria and Elkie never said it out loud, but they were worried about their cousin. Not just about the break up, sure Tzuyu was extremely co-dependant which was something they planned to help with. It was the fact that Tzuyu didn’t seem angry, like she still thought she and Chaeyoung were destined to be together. They themselves believed it just hadn’t sunk in yet. However, there was one point during the drive where they thought she was going to lose it.

Elkie had been saying something about a regular they have at the diner when Tzuyu’s phone went off. It had taken them all by surprise as Tzuyu’s phone had been silent all day. It had actually made them sad watching her check it over and over. So when it went off they were so shocked Victoria swerved the car.

“It’s Chaeyoung!” Tzuyu squealed, voice betraying so much joy that it hurt the duo up front,

She opened the message and read it. Tzuyu’s smile slowly faded and Elkie caught it in the mirror.

“What did it say?”

Tzuyu sighed, “Tzuyu! There’s no power or water, did you not pay the bill? I know you’re mad but what am I supposed to do without any power!? That’s really childish of you. You know I don’t have the money to pay it. Please sort it out, Chaeyoung.”

Furious silence from the cousins.

Victoria looking into the rear-view mirror and saw something flash across Tzuyu’s face for a moment. Something hot and burning, like white hot rage just consumed her face. But as quick as it was there it was gone, with a sigh and a sad smile.

“She ended it with a kiss though.”

Looks like Tzuyu was still in denial.

_____

Tzuyu did good work at the diner.

She worked hard, she was kind and the customers loved her. She was looked after by the regulars the same way they looked after Elkie and Victoria. Her new apartment was pretty small, but for her it was enough. Elkie had taken her phone the week she moved in so that she could hopefully process her emotions, forcing her to use the diner phone and computer.

The computer was so old it barely got her emails up, therefore all her social media remained untouched. Not that Tzuyu really cared, this was her new life. Working with her cousins and rebuilding their relationship while she prepared to start college in the fall. Her life was finally back on track and while she still hadn’t really dealt with everything, it was a start. Tzuyu was so excited for college, she had always wanted to be a vet so obviously chose Veterinary Science as her major. However, she also decided to minor in Psychology due to simply being interested by it.

So while Elkie and Victoria wished Tzuyu would get mad or sad or ANYTHING about the break up, they were content for now that she seemed to be happy. Though Tzuyu never told them the truth, she had always found it hard to talk about her emotions. She thought about Chaeyoung every night, she longed to reach out even if just to see how she was. She missed the way Chaeyoung held her, the way she talked about life, how she saw the world through rose tinted glass.

Tzuyu still believed their story hadn’t ended, that one day they’d be back together again. They had worked to hard for it to work out any different.

But weeks turned to months and soon Tzuyu was distracting herself with college.

She loved her Veterinary Science course, everyone was nice and the professor was this cool older lady named Irene. She wore a leather jacket and had no trouble bantering with students. Tzuyu was a little obsessed with her she couldn’t lie. But her heart still belonged to someone else and she refused to stop believing there was still a shot. One day Chaeyoung would reach out.

Her Psychology class was alright, except during the second lecture of the semester a girl came and sat next to her without saying a word. Usually in these lectures everyone kept one seat empty between them, it was a small class and no one really knew each other yet. So for this girl to suddenly join her, it was a little weird. They didn’t talk so ultimately Tzuyu just tried to ignore her.

Until week three, when she stole Tzuyu’s pen.

She hadn’t even leant it to her, she had just grabbed it off Tzuyu’s fold out table while she was putting away her notebook. As soon as she’d grabbed it she made her way out quickly, leaving a perplexed Tzuyu behind her. Then she did it the next week and the week after.

“I don’t know what to do!” Tzuyu whined to Elkie as they closed up one night, “I’m running out of pens.”

“Well maybe you should say something?” Elkie suggested,

Tzuyu looked uncomfortable, “No…maybe I should just start bringing two? If she needs one so badly.”

“Sometimes I want to throttle you, you adorable, kind hearted, doormat.”

So for the next few weeks Tzuyu brought two pens to class, offering one to the mystery girl before the lecture began. But the girl always politely refused. Tzuyu was stunned, especially since she would then steal BOTH pens at the end of the lecture. It felt like Tzuyu was losing her mind, what was this girl’s game!? It was like she stepped into the twilight zone, she had no clue what was happening.

Week after week no matter what she did, Tzuyu lost all of her pens. Victoria began getting frustrated when she eventually began borrowing them from the diner. The three of them became obsessed with whatever conspiracy theory this was. The mystery of the pen thief. The weirdest part being that this girl came to class with her own pen, why would she want Tzuyu’s!? Still, the gentle giant never said a word to her.

Then Elkie gave Tzuyu her phone back.

That night Tzuyu logged into her GramInsta, deciding against better judgement to do some snooping. She had barely scrolled through her timeline before she saw a picture which broke her heart. It was of Chaeyoung and Nayeon in a living room surrounded by boxes.

Chaengcasso - She’s all moved in <3 ily @Nabong xx

Chaeyoung had moved her into their apartment. The apartment that Tzuyu had lived in, paid for and loved. It hit her that she had lost Chaeyoung, Chaeyoung didn’t love her any more and that killed her. She spent the night crying quietly and scrolling through her ex’s timeline. Seeing all the dates, the cringey love quotes, Chaeyoung’s sketches of the new “love of her life”. It destroyed her.

The heartbreak and the lack of sleep left Tzuyu in an awful mood the next day. It was like an illusion shattered and all the denial she had hidden behind before was no longer protecting her. So basically that day was the wrong day to with Tzuyu.

She went to Psychology but barely listened to a word that was said. Instead she just sat there doodling in her notebook. Mainly graphic drawings of Nayeon’s head on a spike. Later she would realise Chaeyoung was also to blame but right now she was still a dumb kid. She was dealing with things in her own way, plus she never really knew how to channel anger. Tzuyu was a passive person, she didn’t really do emotional stuff. She had no clue what the right reaction was.

The end of class came and Tzuyu just tried to pack up as quickly as possible. Only when she went for her pen…

“Okay what the hell is your problem?” Tzuyu finally snapped,

Why did EVERYBODY steal things from her? Just because she was nice everyone thought they could just take what they wanted and it wasn’t fair.

The girl blinked, “Pardon?”

“You! You always steal my pens!” Tzuyu ranted, “I have tried bringing extras for you, nothing! Are you that desperate for pens!? Can you not walk to the store and get your own? In fact, you have your own! Why the hell do you need mine!? Why does everyone always steal stuff from me? I paid for these pens and I have every right to use them. They’re not yours for the taking and how dare you think that just because I let it slide it meant you were entitled to my things! YOU CAN’T JUST TAKE THINGS THAT AREN’T YOURS!!!”

The girl smiled at her, not mocking, a genuine beaming smile. She turned to her bag and pulled out a bundle of pens held together by a rubbed band. Placing it on Tzuyu’s desk she looked up at her, waiting for the tall girl to say something else.

Now Tzuyu was even more confused, “I---what?”

“I’m sorry,” The girl said, her voice like honey, “I saw you the first day of class and you just looked so tense. So I sat next to you thinking you needed a friend, but then I realised it may be more than that. I decided to see if I could get you to let it out.”

“...huh?”

The girl giggled, “I’m Sana.”

“T-Tzuyu.”

What the hell was happening?

“Nice to meet you Tzuyu.” Sana smiled, “I am sorry for pushing you to that point, I thought you’d confront me after the second or third pen. But you’re surprisingly patient.”

Tzuyu sighed, “I’m sorry for yelling.”

“It looks like you needed to.” Sana observed, “You look more relaxed now.”

Tzuyu paused, she did feel a little lighter. There was less weight on her chest, but she was still angry. Angry about the damn pens, angry at Chaeyoung for being happy with Nayeon, angry at herself for being so stupid, furious at Sana for treating her like a guinea pig. But it felt good, it felt almost relieving.

“I feel it,” Tzuyu admitted, “Still pissed off at you though.”

Sana rolled her eyes, “I’ll buy lunch, fair?”

Tzuyu blinked, “Where did that come from?”

“Well I do owe you and I don’t really know anyone in this lecture.” Sana’s beam dropped and she looked nervous, “Plus…you look like you could use a friend.”

Tzuyu felt the anger dissipate.

You know what? She really could use a friend right now.