I woke up in a castle,

I lazily got out of bed, did my morning routine, made breakfast and ate. I took my watering can and did my favourite hobby.

In a blossoming garden, feeling so lonely.

I started watering the garden, it was the only beautiful thing I had. My face, my life, it was all ugly. I wore a mask and shut myself from the world. This garden is my life now.

I hung myself, in this mess
Filled with thorns.

But I guess, fate was playing with me.

As I was busy, a girl appeared near the vicinity of my castle. She was pale and wore ragged clothes. I saw her, I watched as the girl picked up the heels of the garden fence, climbed over it and stole some flowers. I was mad. I was so mad I spent the night guarding the garden. I was sleepy, I took a small nap. What I didn't know was that during my brief moment of sleep, the girl picked up some flowers and ran away.

Who are you? Why are you stealing from my garden?

Tell me what do they call you?
Where are you running off to?
Oh, could you tell me?
I found you hidden away in this garden.

Several nights continued to pass like that until one day I pretended to fall asleep and watched the girl go. I was curious.

I wanted to follow you, I wanted to ask who you were. But I was too ugly, I was the 'love child' of the Duke of Florence who fell in love with a poor gardener's daughter. She passed away at childbirth due to excessive bleeding leaving me all alone in the world.

Being a child born out of wedlock, I was the source of misery to the wife and children of the duke, who tried to kill me. As a result, the duke sent me to a place further away.

There were many rumours about me, Because of all the hatred and jealousy I received as I lived, I didn't open my heart to anyone.

I shut myself from the world. Both my body and my heart. My only joy is this garden.

One night, I finally took the courage to follow you. I waited for you and followed you through the night. I was grateful I finally decided to follow you, for I finally knew the reason you stole flowers from my garden.

You were very poor, there was no other way to make a living for yourself other than to sell the flowers. I felt really bad for you, I wanted to help you, teach you. Show you how to grow your own beautiful flowers.

I soon learned that your name was Kim Dahyun.

I was slowly falling in love with you.

And I know, your warmth is the closest to reality,

From then on, I started growing many flowers for you and made sure they were the best quality.

The flowers that you picked for me.
Reaching for your hand.

I wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell you so bad. I wanted to confront you and tell you my feelings towards you. Maybe tell you my name, saying "Hi, My names Mina." But, I know I can't, I couldn't, I shouldn't.

But this is my fate.
Don't smile on me, light on me.
No, I can never take another step to you,
Don't have a name to call me by anymore.

You would be scared of me, you would run away and never come back.

I needed to hide. Because I was ugly, you would not love my ugly appearance.

So I never found the courage to confront you.

You know that I can't, Show you me, give you me,
the weaknesses that I hide you can never see.

But, I still wanted to see you, see your smile, help you with your life. Even though you would never see me behind my mask, you would never like me, I still wanted to see you.

I'm wearing a mask again so I can see you.
But I still want you.

~~

As time flew by, I decided I wanted to grow you the most expensive flower for you to sell.

Wanna give you a flower, from this lonesome garden.
Reminding me of you.
I'd give you all and take this foolish mask off.

Growing the flower would be the only way I could unveil my sincerity to you. There was still no way I could face you and give it to you. The flower was my only source of confidence to you.

I locked myself in my castle to grow it for you.

But I know that I can
Never give you more than that
Forever may be in the past
Hide the ugly now.

Finally, after many attempts, I finally succeeded in making you the flower. It was beautiful, I felt that it's something that never existed in the world. Afterwards, I planted the flower all over the garden and waited until midnight for you to come and collect it.

I waited and waited for you to come and steal it, I was excited to see you again. But, you never came. You were nowhere to be seen. No matter how much I waited for you, you never came.

I started feeling anxious, I started feeling afraid.

Cause I'm so afraid that in the end, you'll leave again.
It may be sad, but what was I supposed to do?

I decided to go and see you, wondering why you didn't come as you will always do.

I'm wearing a mask again so I can see you.

I went back to the village where I followed you, I went to your usual place. But, you weren't there. I asked around, trying to find where you were. But, once I heard where you actually were, I broke down. I couldn't believe it, I cried my heart and soul out that day. When I found out,

you had already........









 

passed away.........



 

I'm back to being alone. Heartbroken and alone.

I'm crying my soul out I'm all alone, these walls won't hold.
The castle made of sand is falling from stone.
I'm taking off my mask to go and see you.

But I still want you....

And I still want you...

I regretted every decision to hold back from you. I'm all alone again, more broken than ever. I can never see you ever again. You were my new happiness, now high above, to never come back down again.

"Maybe back then, if I was brave
I'd show you me we could finally be happy, young, wild and free. I'd give you all and take this foolish mask off."

I sat back alone to my castle. I fell for you, even though I knew I can't show you me. I look back to my garden, seeing all the beautiful flowers that you once stole. That was the only time I was happy that someone stole my flowers. That one flower, I grew just for you but you never got to see it. I never got to see your expression when you would take the flower. You changed my life, you made my life more colourful. You were the only thing I looked forward to seeing in life. I'm done hiding. I'm done being in here, I can't see this place as I did before.

"But my heart is breaking, falling, deeply The castle made of sand has fallen from within. I throw away my mask and see it sinking.

But I still want you....."





 

I still want you.....