You walk into school. The day already feeling worst than the one before.  As you exchange books, moving them from your locker to your bag you hear the chatter of four voices you knew so well pass by behind you. A weird feeling courses through your body, one you’ve never felt before. As you slam your locker shut, you turn just in time to see the quartet turn the corner. Before you have time to dwell on any of your thoughts the bell rings making you rush down the hall for your first class.

Now class was never a pain in the for you, in fact it was always amusing. Not because you were a good student but because you usually spent the majority of it being disruptive with your best friend. Instead, today you found yourself sitting by yourself at the back of the room, staring as the four heads in the center of the room paid you no attention whatsoever. That is until a certain Kim Jisoo turned back, glancing in your direction for a quick second. It may have been short, but it was the first time you’ve seen her look at you since that night.

Despite all her efforts to avoid you, she knew it would be nearly impossible to do so. Just about every class she had was shared with you. But she did the best she could by ignoring your existence. Up until her little slip up just now.

Nothing has ever been this bad between you two before. Sometimes she’d give you the cold shoulder for like a day when you did something stupid, but then it’d be back to normal the very next day. 

But you couldn’t blame her for the way she was acting. You had crossed a line. Something had been done that couldn’t be taken back. And you weren’t sure things could ever go back to the way they used to be.

Flashback

The moon had just settled high in the sky. It was late but you finally managed to sneak away from your family for the night.  There were more important things you had to attend to at this hour. 

After riding your bike across town you finally arrive at your best friends house. The light from her bedroom window could be seen dimly lit as the rest of the house sat in dark silence. 

You picked up a few pebbles from the ground and begin to toss them at her window. 

1....miss. 2.....hit. 3.....hit.

Before you could throw another one, a dark figure moves from behind the curtain. Moments later the window screeches open, followed by Jisoo peaking her head out.

“Y/N? What are you doing? Are you trying to break my window!” ”Wasn’t my intention...sorry...” 

You immediately move off to the side to climb up the side of the house to her second story window. It was the same routine you’ve been doing since middle school. Stand on the trash bin, latch onto the side drain, then reach for the low hanging rooftop. Compared to then, it was much easier now since you were much taller, there were also less incidents of you falling.

She moves back inside but leaves the window ajar, just wide enough for you to fit through. As soon as you set foot inside her room, you quietly close the window, making sure not to let it creak or screech. A habit you’ve developed, not wanting to wake anyone else in the house.

“What was with the pebbles?” “I don’t know. I’ve seen people in movies do that, so I kinda wanted to try it.” 

Jisoo crawls back into her bed, covering her legs with her blanket. “Idiot!” “Hey, I think some people find that type of thing romantic...or something.” “That’s nice...maybe you should go and find some of those people then.”

You can’t help but let out a sigh. You take your backpack off your back and then your jacket tossing it onto her fuzzy decorative chair in the corner of her room. You the bag and wrap your hand around something. Jisoo watches you out of curiosity. 

You grip tightly before looking up at her. “Okay, now don’t over react to this or anything but...I just wanted to let you know that you did an amazing job at the talent show today. Also I want to apologize for leaving early...stupid parents made me go to a family thing...” Jisoo tilts her head to the side as she listens to you ramble on. “Anyway, I got this for you because you did well.” You pull out a child’s #1 ribbon.

She starts laughing as you sit at the edge of her bed handing it to her. “Get it cause your number 1!” You hold up your index finger and give her a cheesy grin.

“This is exactly what I’d expect from you! Nothing less, nothing more!”  She holds it up to her face and puts up a finger mimicking your action that she’s number one. She looks at it more closely and smiles. Even if it’s just a child’s ribbon she finds it extremely thoughtful.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” You then pull out a small bouquet of flowers for her. “I also got these for you, but I obviously knew you’d care more for the ribbon so-“ she cut you off in a hug. 

As you hold her in your embrace you feel her start to shake slightly. As she pulls away she holds the flowers and there are tears starting to stream down her face. But you only now notice that her eyes are a bit puffy like she had been crying already. Which is unusual because she rarely ever cries.

“Hey Jichu what’s wrong? You don’t like the flowers?” 

She sits looking at the flowers. “No I love them. I really do.” She finally looks up at you, then wipes her eyes trying to rid them of her tears. “I appreciate this I really do. Thank you.” She leans over giving you another hug. “I’m gonna get a vase for this.” She gets up and leaves the room for a moment. 

She comes back with a vase of water and carefully put the flowers in them. “It doesn’t make the room look to overly girly now does it?” She looks at you scrunching her nose.

“Well...a bit.” She grabs a pillow on her chair and throws it at you. “What? It does a little!”

She crawls back into her bed. And lays looking away from you. You weren’t sure what was going on. She normally wasn’t this quiet, she also never went to sleep this early, and she never answered your question from earlier about what was wrong.

You let out another sigh, trying to figure out what was up with your best friend. Not sure of what to say you just lay down next to her in the open space she left for you, leaning on your right arm, looking in her direction. 

“Jichu? You never answered me. What’s wrong?” “Nothing. Everything’s fine.” “I’ve known you since 7th grade! And you don’t cry. So quit trying to act like your okay. Whats wrong?”

She continues to ignore you. So you do the most logical thing you could think of, you wrap your arms around her waist trying to comfort her. Whether she wanted to be comforted or not. You figured that she was gonna push you away at some point but instead she did something unexpecting, she grabs your arms and makes your hold on her just a bit tighter.

She lets out a long sigh before finally opening up. “My parents didn’t come to my performance. They’re not even here. They flew out of town for some business thing again and didn’t even tell me.” She takes another few seconds for herself before she decides to turn toward you. “They didn’t even congratulate me when I told them I won.” 

You stay silent as you encourage her to continue telling you what was on her mind. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry, I just wish they would show up for one of my performances for once.  Or showed they cared. It just made me feel happy that you would bring me gifts for winning. You showing up is always enough so I was surprised.” Finally she allows herself to look up into your eyes. There’s nothing but deep gratification.

“Well you can always count on me to be there. Next time I’ll sit front row, and even bring the flowers with me. That way I can give it to you right after!”

“Even if I don’t win.” “Oh please, Jisoo you haven’t lost a talent show in like 6 years. Its safe to assume you’ll win them all!”

She started pouting. “I hate crying.” You chuckled. “I know!” “My parents are stupid.” “Agreed. But just so you know there are plenty of people that care about you and your future success! Me, my mom, me, Rosé, Jennie, Lisa, me and...uhm-” She lightly hits your chest. “Oh, okay.” She says mockingly not letting you finish.

“Seriously though. Maybe they’re just going through like weird midlife crisis stuff.” 

Jisoo got out of your embrace to lie on her back and stare at the ceiling. “No there just that way. I don’t know I’ve never let the way they act bother me before, I guess I shouldn’t start now.” You mirrored her action and laid on your back putting your arms behind your head. “Your right though, I do have Jennie, Rosé, Lisa, and your mom on my side!” You turn toward her giving her a playful glare. “And you I suppose.” 

“You suppose?” She turns her body back towards you. “Well yeah, to be honest it’s not all that great having you on my side sometimes.”

“Woah, what do you mean?” You couldn’t deny that hearing that come from your best friend didn’t hurt. But you played it off.

“Okay I just heard how that sounded. Let me try to explain.” She pursed her lips as she thought carefully about how she was going to explain what she meant. “Okay, I love love love how much of a supportive friend you are and that you are by my side for like literally everything. But, being as close as I am with you also paints a target on my back. I’m positive almost every girl at school hates me because of it.”

“Oh come on. That’s not true.” You throw your arms in the air, finding it absurd.

“I’ve heard a lot of girls say they dislike me because they think I’m the reason why you won’t go out with any of them.” Any other night, this could have been one of jisoos many ways of teasing you but you could see that she was serious this time.

“Since when do you care about what other girls at school think. As far as I’m concerned there just a bunch of....a bunch of.....” “A bunch of crazy lust-filled teenage girls.” “Sure, but come on, I’m sure they don’t hate you just because your my best friend.” She sat up and looked at you. “You’d be surprised.”

“So by your logic I’d make your life a little easier if I just decided to date someone…?” She gives you a sly grin. “Well it would take the weight off my shoulder.” “Fine…for you I’ll bite the bullet then!” You pretend to get off the bed to leave.

“Nooo!“ She playfully whines, grabbing your arm to pull you back onto the bed. “I’m not saying to go out and find someone now. Besides I feel like no one at school is even worth it for you.” You lean back against her head board. “How do you mean?” “Im positive like 90% of the girls only want you for .” Your brow arches up. “And whats wrong with that. You don’t know I could be down with that.” She rolls her eyes at you.

“Okay, Y/N do whatever.” She looks away from you, smoothing her blanket down with her hand. Taking some time to think about what more to say. She looks back at you with a playful expression on her face. “I’m just saying, whoever you date needs to be able to handle your crackhead self.” “Ah, Okay. So they need to be able to handle the jokes, the burst of energy, and constant teasing?” “Exactly! You are such a hard person to deal with. I don’t even know how I do it!” You can’t help but laugh after she says this. “Jisoo, you’re basically the same exact person. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were suggesting I date you?” 

She scoffs loudly putting her hand on her heart, as if she was just insulted. “Hey! I’m pretty sure I clearly said when we became friends that you weren’t allowed to fall for me. Remember!” 

The sudden outburst catches you off guard for the second time that night. “I remember. But you never said anything about YOU falling for ME!” You say as sarcastically as possible. 

“I’m offended you think I would fall for your crazy ! I’m not some easy girl you can just get with.” She throws her hair back in a dramatic fashion. “Right…I don’t know though…I am pretty charming. And like you said like 90% of the girls at school have already fallen for me. So…” You continued to pester her with your sarcasm.  

“Oh, you think your that much of a hot shot. If anyone falls for anyone it would have to be you.” She pokes at your chest. “One kiss and you’d be on your knees.” She held her chin up high not looking at you, feeling proud of her own self confidence.

“Wow! Who thinks their the hotshot now…huh? If your so confident then, Kiss me.” She slowly brings her head down to look at you. “What? No!” You get off the head board and lean toward her. “Scared you might fall for me?” All she sees on your face is a stupid smirk now.

She doesn’t move or back away, instead she stares back at you, as menacingly as she can. One thing she hates just as much as crying is being challenged by someone. She doesn’t like to back down, or appear weak. She had that sort of pride deep within her. That’s why she was so competitive when it came to the school talent shows, or any competition, really.

She surprises you for the nth time that night when the next set of words come out of . “If YOUR so confident, YOU do it.”

Suddenly there’s a pounding. A pounding in your chest, in hers. 

You both stay the same distance apart. Not too close, but close enough for you two to become confused. There’s tension as both your breaths get heavier. Neither one of you wanting to back away from the stupid challenge you accidentally set upon yourselves.  At the same time neither one of you could say you were brave enough to take the leap in the first place. She grits her teeth and you clench your jaws. Finally you look at her, you really look at her. This is Jisoo. Your best friend. Your not going to kiss your best friend, because that’s just not what you two do.

You back away. “I’m gonna head out. I probably shouldn’t stay over, I’ve got…I’ve..more stupid family stuff tomorrow so…” You get off the bed and walk over to the fuzzy decorative chair in the corner. You put your jacket on and zip it up. 

“So now who’s scared?” You turn away, grabbing your backpack off the floor. Not looking at her at all. You retort. “I’m NOT scared.” “Could’ve fooled me.” 

You throw your bag down, hard. With heavy steps you turn and walk up to her. With no time to process anything your lips collide. Taking you both by surprise. You meant for it to be quick. But it lasts longer than you expect. 

Her plump lips that were heart shaped, move against yours in a way that no one else’s has before. You realize, she’s the one prolonging this kiss.

When you finally pull apart, you don’t say anything. “Maybe you should go now.” Her words interrupt your jumbled up thinking process. Instead of arguing with her, you oblige by her request. You move away from her, walking to the window, picking up your bag again. Before you push the window up, you decide that you need to hear her say the actual words before you go, so you ask. “You didn’t feel anything?”

She gulps, noticeably. “Nothing.” You admit that it hurt you, you didn’t think it would, but it did. Still you stayed silent not really knowing if there was anything worth saying. But then you remember. She made this kiss longer than it should have been, her not you. So the words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them. “Bull.”

“What?” “I said Bull. I don’t believe you.” She gets up and walks over to you, angry. “You don’t get to tell me how I feel.” “I’m not telling you what to feel, I’m simply saying your lying to me about what you actually feel.”

She grits her teeth again for the second time that night. A notion of hers that’s suddenly become so attractive to you. Along with the furrowing of her brows and the little scrunch on her nose. Both of you back to where you were earlier that night. Face to face, with the same tension between you two. At first it wasn’t identifiable, but this time around you could see it. You wanted to kiss her again and she wanted to kiss you. But you were at a crossroads again, with neither of you wanting to make the move first.

You couldn’t handle the staring contest you were both doing, you didn’t want to let the feelings linger any longer. “ it.”

You took her by the waist and cupped her chin with your other hand. Then before she could react, you pushed your lips against hers again. She reciprocates the kiss again. But this time she pulls you in closer, wrapping her arms around your neck. 

Her knees buckle beneath her causing her to step back until she’s pinned between you and her dresser. Your kiss intensifies. Both your breathing becomes more ragged. You lift her up pushing her onto the top of her dresser, causing her to slightly whimper as her back presses up against the wall. You move down toward her neck. She doesn’t hesitate to throw her head back in response, wanting you to continue. You on her neck, making her let out a small moan. 

Your lips on her neck drives her wild. Everything feels blurry to her, but she doesn’t want you to stop, no in fact she wants more. “Don’t stop” She tightens her legs around your hips, keeping you close to her. 

Hearing her like this gets to you. The feeling of her legs wrapped around you, hugging you tightly sends shivers up your spine.

You break away bringing your head up to look at her. You move your hands under her, picking her up to carry her over to her bed. You lay her down and slowly move yourself on top of her. You hover over her lips until she leans up connecting together with you . Gently moving against her. 

She moves to your jacket and you help her by tossing it away. Then she slides her hands under your shirt, gripping the ends and pulling the article of clothing over your head. She runs her hand across your body, making your breath falter as you feel her touch against your skin. Both your clothes slowly start to disappear from your bodies, until your left with nothing. Nothing but each other.

Soon you both found yourselves on an unknown path. A place where things are no longer black and white. Lost, deep in desire. Putting everything on the line, pushing further and further away, pass the point of no return.