CITY OF STARS

When she was walking out of the movie theater, she felt the cold wind hit her face, instantly making the chills present. Walking alone wasn’t always in her plans, but today she had to. 

That day, Tiffany felt like watching a movie. It had been a long time since she had taken some me time and gone out to do something she wanted, Erika always wanted to go out with her and actually get her out of the house. But today, she was in the mood for a nice and calm movie, a throwback maybe. 

The movie theater was lonely, given that it only played old movies, kids wouldn’t go there as much. But those were her movies, they reminded her of her youth, of the time when she was reckless and had freedom. And nothing sent her back to her times like a musical did, so she went to watch one her favorites, ’La La Land’.

She had forgotten how good it was, how the colors matched perfectly with each scene, how the music transported her and how it made her feel. She sang every song along with the characters. She felt like she was in the movie, and when the bittersweet ending came, she felt it too, reminding her of what was always in the back of her mind.

And now, walking her way home, she could only remember every scene with a nostalgic smile on her face, those times were to miss. Suddenly, her phone lit up with a message from her daughter, asking her when she was going to go back home, to which she replied ‘soon’ and kept walking. 

Without noticing, her body took her to her favorite park in the city, a place full of memories that made her happy. She was watching every object that made the view so perfect and unforgettable. 

The rocks where she would sit while watching her daughter grow up, the swing from which she pushed her daughter to make her feel the breeze and look up at the beautiful blue sky. So many memories came flooding in, and with the happy ones came the sad ones. 

Tiffany started remembering how her daughter would ask her for ice cream with the same puppy eyes as her mother, how she moved just like her lover and how the both of them would melt her heart every day. Knowing what was to come she didn’t find it weird that her cheeks started getting wet, remembering was hard when you didn’t have somebody to remember with. 

The eye-smile woman knew that she had had a good life, that she was blessed because she found love and formed a beautiful and happy family out of it. When she was a kid, she never thought she’d be this happy, she thought she’d be a miserable adult but she was far from it. 

Tired of watching the park, she, now, made her way home. The stars were just very shiny that night and she felt like they were all looking at her, giving her the spotlight. Instantly, she started singing the main song of the movie she’d just watched because, why not?

Not being able to stop herself, she started dancing under the street lights. Everything was lonely, until she felt the wind caress her cheek and hold her by her waist, but she didn’t get scared, she let herself be guided by the rush of the breeze and she heard the murmur of it. She knew the wind was calling her beautiful, and she said it back.

She was dancing with the wind, and instead of feeling cold, she felt warm and protected because she knew that in the wind was hiding a small person whom she loved very much. She missed the slow pace, she missed that touch, she missed everything so much she was scared of losing it again.

When she reached the chorus of the song, she looked at the clear and shiny sky like dedicating the song to the stars, but she was actually singing it to the blonde wind. Somehow, she knew that the moment she stopped singing; she would feel the clutch in her waist disappear. So, when she was reaching the end, she sang it louder, danced with even more passion, making sure that that feeling of company stayed in her memory for how long was left of her life.

And like she predicted, the moment she sang the last word she felt the wind saying goodbye, hugging her and lifting her up a little, as if to let her know this wasn’t a dream, and when she touched the ground, it was gone. The stars kept shining their own ways, leaving the main character to walking back to her lonely home.

When she got home, Erika, her daughter, asked her why she was crying, to which she just said ‘They’re just tears of happiness’ while going to her bedroom. Before getting in bed, she looked at all the pictures she had. They were the reason why she kept going every day, she knew she was there, watching her every step.

“It’s been five years, Tae. I miss you so much” said Tiffany to the air, but she knew Taeyeon was listening. 

“Erika is an adult now, she’s smart and beautiful and loves making people happy just like you” she kept going. 

“I know you’re watching over us. So… I just want you to know that, I love you. I don’t know why I feel like I didn’t say it enough, but here I am, trying to make up for it” she said with a small and nostalgic smile on her face.

She went to sleep that night with a smile on her face, not knowing that she wasn’t alone in bed. 

“I miss you too, Fany-ah. And you said it just enough, please hold on a little longer. She may seem old enough, but she still needs us, she needs you” said Taeyeon, while kissing her lover’s forehead.

She was always there, she sang with her every second of every song, she cried along with her, she danced with her, she called the stars and the wind to touch her lover again, she would always do her best to see her girl’s eye-smile again.

City of stars, you never shined so brightly.