Anyone passing by her dorm room could've heard her voice, the high pitched squeals she was trying to suppress as she soundlessly poured all of her emotions onto a piece of paper. 

Lines, scribbles, the little pieces of her eraser that she didn't brush out of the way, tear stains all over the white paper. A mess. Just like the one in her head. 

Momo chuckled, not bothering to wipe her runny nose, tilt her head back to push the tears into her eyes like she always did. Nothing could stop the frantic movements of her pencil, the discouraging words that swirled around in her head nor the throbbing pain in her chest.

The purifier at the corner of the room didn't do anything to help her from suffocating. Momo could inhale the disappointment, her hopes that had gotten crushed and turned into dust, flying around in the room. She could feel the anger that she got out on the paper travel back into her system as she breathed heavily. Momo promised to throw the purifier away once she was done. It did nothing to get rid of the annoying dust of her feelings. 

Her hair fell from the messy bun she had tied them into and on her slouched shoulders, tickling the skin of her neck and hiding the burn mark she had gotten from when she tried to straighten her hair. Dahyun liked it when her hair was straightened. 

"I'm a fool," Momo mumbled "A ing fool."

She bit down onto her lip, tongue coming to soothe the sting her teeth left. Momo could taste the lipstick she had worn earlier, red in color, that she wasn't able to completely take off before she ran out of makeup wipes. Dahyun liked it when her lips were painted scarlet. 

The tip of her pencil broke, rolling on the paper that used to be blank. The paper that was now littered with ugly lines and deformed shapes, Momo's thoughts and emotions. 

"I should've known my heart can't take all of this," she banged the table, fingers gripping onto her hair "I should've known I won't ever be enough!"

She closed her eyes, trying to calm down the beating of her heart. It was the first time she felt it so heavy, ready to burst and a terrible amount of disgusting black liquid to gush out. Momo wanted to rip her heart out of her chest. Dahyun said she liked it, how beautiful it is.

Momo wasn't beautiful, even if Dahyun said so. 

"Why won't this feeling ever go away?"

She should've known Dahyun lied. She should've known the straightened hair, the scarlet lips, the tight clothes, the big smiles, and the beautiful hearts were not enough. Were not what Dahyun looked for.

Momo jumped off her chair, letting it drop onto the floor. She didn't care about the noise she was making anymore.

"What if the only thing that made you happy dissapeared one day?" asked the woman in a shaky voice, hands holding the littered piece of paper. 

A portrait of Dahyun.

However, it wasn't beautiful either. Momo couldn't help but find everything about it ugly.

"I hope it does."

The woman could hear the first cracks. The first few drops of black liquid spilling from her heart, her love for Dahyun painfully exiting her body.

"You deserve it."

Momo tore the paper in small pieces, throwing them out of the window. She didn't feel bad. Dahyun had done the same anyways.

"Not me."

Her heart broke and the black liquid flowed heavily.

"I'm won't be a fool anymore."

Soon it would suffocate Momo. But she wouldn't know. That's what love does.

It's unexpected and it hurts.