Wonwoo stared blankly at Dr. Yoon’s nameplate for the nth time that he’s been in his office for their weekly counseling. ‘This is so stupid…’ he thought to himself and let out a bored sigh. “So,” the man started off, offering him a friendly smile. He rested his forearms on his desk, hands clasped together as he leaned in a little bit closer.

He tried to make eye contact with Wonwoo but the younger male dropped his gaze even lower, down to his fidgeting hands on his lap. “How are you feeling, Wonwoo?” The boy wanted to roll his eyes. It’s that same opening line over and over again. He’s been hearing that every single week for 5 ing years.

If he perhaps paid close enough attention to these things, he would’ve memorized everything Dr. Yoon would say. But he couldn’t care less about these sessions. The only thing he ever really thought about when he’s in this room was how much he wants it to end.

He can feel Dr. Yoon’s gaze on him, patient like he always is, silent and waiting. Wonwoo merely shrugged as a belated response, finding his fingers the most interesting thing to look at right now. The older male hummed thoughtfully and tried again. “What have you been up to this week?”

This time, Wonwoo didn’t even respond anymore. He just kept his mouth shut, eyes still fixed on his hands. And like always, Dr. Yoon just let the silence between them stretch on. He’s not stupid. He knew Wonwoo didn’t want to talk. He knew that this was perhaps what Wonwoo hated the most about the rehab center.

He inwardly sighed, getting lost in thought when Wonwoo suddenly broke the silence. Dr. Yoon?” He called out softly, glancing up briefly before he dropped his eyes. The older perked up almost immediately. “Yes?” he replied just as softly but with a small hint of hope in his voice.

He looked at Wonwoo with twinkling eyes, brows both raised and the corner of his lips slightly turned upwards. He thought he was finally going to make Wonwoo talk about how he feels but then the boy said, “You and I both know that these so called therapies are pointless, right?”

And then he deflated, sighing heavily. Wonwoo finally looked up at him, searching his orbs and waiting for him to say something, anything. His mouth flew open to do just that, to convince him that, no, all the counseling sessions aren’t pointless but instead, Dr. Yoon closed mouth back up and just didn’t reply. He couldn’t.

He didn’t exactly know how, because if he was being completely honest, he thought the same. The people here, the unfortunate condition they have, it’s not something counseling can cure. There actually isn’t even a proper cure for it still eve after years of research. In fact, this whole rehabilitation center seems like a huge lab experiment. It’s all just trial and error here. Everything is so… uncertain.

Silence has then again pierced the air between them. Dr. Yoon zoned out while Wonwoo just stared at him, his lungs squeezing uncomfortably. He let out a shaky breath. “You want to know how I feel, right Dr. Yoon?” He suddenly said, making the older male look back at him. He hummed, brows already in a sad furrow.

He watched as Wonwoo in a breath, eyes starting to glisten, jaw starting to clench. “Hopeless,” he breathed out. “I feel so hopeless here.” Just looking at him, just hearing how broken he sounded made Dr. Yoon’s heart ache for the boy. He clasped his hands even tighter, willing himself not to let his emotions get the best of him. He had to at least look calm and strong in front of Wonwoo.

“It like…” Tears welled up fast in his eyes and he tried so hard to blink them away. “I-It’s like I’m just waiting for myself to die like everyone else… Because that’s how I’ll really end up, right? Dying from this stupid disease…” He wasn’t able to keep his tears at bay anymore. Before he could try and stop them from falling, they were already rolling down his cheeks.

He wiped at them harshly with the back of his hand but they wouldn’t stop falling. The furrow of Dr. Yoon’s eyebrow deepened and he leaned in even closer. He desperately wanted to console him. He wanted to say something that could give him hope but he had only said the boy’s name and he was already shaking his head, as if telling the doctor not to continue whatever it is that he had to say.

“No, I know,” he started to say, sniffling and chuckling dryly. “You’ve somehow figured something out, right?  Somehow, this place has made miracles happen, made people fall in love with each other, did surgeries or whatever but Dr. Yoon, c’mon.” He threw his hands in the air and shook his head. “The likelihood of that is just…”

“Wonwoo,” he said a little more firmly this time. “You’re a miracle too. Remember that.” The boy scoffed, feeling offended almost at what he just heard. “Bull,” he muttered under his breath and wiped at his face again. He stood up from his seat and bowed at the doctor. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I finish the session…” Then he just walked away. And Dr. Yoon let him.

The moment that the door was closed behind him, Wonwoo leaned against it and took several breaths. He coughed into his hand, feeling the stupid flowers take up all the space in his lungs where air should be. He swallowed hard and tried even harder to regulate his breathing. He pushed himself off the door slowly and finally started to walk.

He was in the medical wing of the center. He had to get out fast before anyone finds out that he’s having trouble breathing. He briskly walked out of the long hallway and turned the corner to get to his quarters in the other building but he found himself stopping right in his tracks, completely freezing in his spot.

He could see someone being rushed into the operating room. And that only meant one thing to him. He hated it. He hated it so much. This situation always made him scared. Even if he didn’t know the person, he’d always find himself getting worried and anxious for them.

But this time, it was much scarier. This time, he has all the more reason to feel the way that he did. He knew who this person was. It’s someone he had just met 10 months ago when he first came to the center. He was his friend, Kwon Soonyoung, the only other person who was the same age as him.

How did this… happen so fast? You’re not supposed to be this bad in only 10 months. Wonwoo’s head was spinning and the world around him just felt so distant. They passed by him briefly, like a gush of wind blowing past, but to him it felt much longer. Everything suddenly moved in an agonizingly slow pace in that very moment. He saw Soonyoung lying down, covered in blood and petals.

He was drenched in sweat, looking alarmingly pale. He was continuously coughing out full head of flowers that were coated with blood and his lips were cracking so much that they began to bleed too. He retched, screamed and cried. His hoarse, pained voice bounced off the walls as he begged for them to make it stop.

Wonwoo’s legs gave right then and there. He fell on his knees, trembling uncontrollably. “H-He’s not gonna make it…” he whispered, breathing shakily as he felt tears burn in his eyes. He’s seen this happen so many times before. A lot has been brought in, a lot has gotten out but those who actually made it out alive… he could only count with one hand.  

“Mr. Jeon? What are— Mr. Jeon!” He ran away. He forced his weak legs to stand up and he bolted across the building to get to his room. The entire time, his tears kept streaming down his face. His lungs were killing him. As if he wasn’t already having a hard time breathing, running all this way while crying just made it far worse and harder. His vision was blurring and it’s not just because of his tears.

Thankfully, he reached his room before anything serious happened to him. He slammed the door shut behind him, one hand against it and another on his chest. He tried his best to catch his breath first but his legs had, again, given up on him. He sank down to the floor with his back pressed against the door. He pulled his knees into his chest and just... burst out crying again.

Wonwoo wrapped his arms around himself, whimpering into his knees.  From the room next to his, he heard someone vomiting. They’re crying too. That only made him bawl so much harder. He flinched at every loud thud he could hear. There was glass shattering and the woman was shouting. “I’m going to die here,” the woman repeatedly said.

Not long after, he heard frantic footsteps and other voices pile into the room. Sobbing, he covered his ears with his shaky hands and squeezed his eyes shut, the tears falling harder. “Please. Please, please, please,” he murmured in between sniffles and hiccups but he didn’t even know what he was begging for.

He didn’t think anything could be worse that this but then he felt the flowers climbing up to his throat. Immediately, he slapped a hand over his mouth and sprinted straight to his bathroom.  He was retching so much and too much. He could basically already feel the petals against his palm.

He barely made it but the moment he bent over his sink, pink camellias and striped carnations spilled out of his mouth like a broken dam. He retched even more, forcing them to get out of his system. He groaned in pain, coughing and spitting every last bit of it in his mouth.

He looked down at the mess like he always did before but not once has he ever felt this terrified at what he saw. There were big spots of blood on those flowers and only now did he notice the metallic taste on his tongue. His tears quickly began to stung his eyes again as he lifted his head up to look at the mirror. His eyes widened and he let out an anxious gasp. There was blood dripping at the corner of his mouth.

He wiped it with the back of his hand hastily but then he saw the exact same substance staining his palm. Wonwoo started to panic. He immediately turned the faucet on and scrubbed it off his hand, bawling, desperately gasping for air.

| Author's Note |

We've finally started AAAAA *vibrates with joy*

I thought this through long and hard, only now having the confidence to post anything up hihi

This is only the intro but... it's pretty heavy, huh?

I'm sorry >< It just turned out that way somehow but it won't be like this for the rest of the chapters! (...I think? lol)

Hope y'all find everything interesting so far and pretty please tell me what you think of the chap in the comments mwa :*

P.S: Pay attention to details :)))