[07/04/2021] hello! this is the 4th out of the 5 planned chapters for this fic. this chapter has gone through a few rewrites and was a pain to write in general (like, how do you even emotion?), but here it is. please enjoy and tell me what you think! i'm also very sorry, yejisu nation.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

HR: 80 bpm

The last place Yeji imagined herself being in is a hallway of the male-only JYU dorm before the break of dawn.

“Pick up, pick up,” the girl desperately pleads, flimsy flip phone pressed to her ear. She’s been trying to reach Hyunjin for hours now, even before she got out of her apartment to “buy some utilities'', an excuse that Jisu completely bought. When Yeji told her, she was already seated in her usual chair at the kitchen, blankly staring at the occupied mattresses on their living room floor. There, Yuna was sandwiched between Ryujin and Chaeryeong, all still sleeping soundly from their most awkward movie night to date.

Now that Yeji’s thinking about it, maybe Jisu wasn’t paying attention to her at all.

Yeji crouches down as she gets redirected to voicemail again, glaring at the closed door of Hyunjin’s dorm room. In the fifteen minutes that have passed since Yeji got here, there has been no sign of Hyunjin or any other person in the sleepy hallway. She covers her eyes with the grey beanie over her dishevelled locks, sighing deeply. All those days of ignoring his texts and voicemails are now coming back to bite her. Was it wrong to avoid him because she didn’t want to hear or answer his questions about her sad excuse of a love life?

To be honest, Yeji wishes he'd just read the answers off her mind to save her the pain of admitting them to herself.

“You’re being overdramatic.”

Yeji immediately floats to the ceiling of the silent hall at the sound of Hyunjin’s voice, cursing under her breath as he laughs quietly. She takes the beanie off her head and glares at him.

“C’mon, Yeji,” he grins cheekily. “You’ll be much more comfortable crying in there than here.”

Yeji scoffs. “Who says that I’ll be crying?”

“That’s… not what you’re here for?” Hyunjin watches as she eventually descends, planting both feet firmly on the ground. Yeji flicks his forehead.

“Ow! That’s not fair and you know it. You could’ve given me a concussion!” The boy whines, rubbing the sore spot with the sleeve of his worn-out JYU hoodie. “That finger holds more strength than all of my muscles combined!”

“You’re being overdramatic.” Yeji shrugs innocently, putting her beanie back on. “Besides, I’m here because I really, really need to ask a favour.”

“Ooh, do tell,” Hyunjin is gleeful as he opens the door with his key, revealing two unkempt beds and an opened lamp on a bedside table in the corner. His roommate, Felix (whom Hyunjin owes a few hundred thousand won in therapist fees for his lava & volcanophobia, as far as Yeji knows) is watching something on his laptop.

“I need a date. To the business majors’ charity event at the Chansung Hotel tonight.”

The door shuts behind them with a loud thud. From the corner of Yeji’s eye, she sees Felix jump in surprise, one of his earbuds getting dislodged from his ear in the process. Poor guy.

Hyunjin hums, fingers tapping his chin in thought. “Why not take your roommate?”

“You’re making it sound like it’s that easy.” Yeji sighs. “She’s going with her ‘friend’.”

Hyunjin studies the girl as he plops down on his bed. He stares at her bare face and the lines formed on her forehead, along with her fox-like eyes that are millimetres away from closing. When he finds what he’s been looking for in her busy brain, his face lights up in recognition.

“Choi Soobin?”

Yeji can only nod.

The boy then clicks his tongue in worry. “I can see why you’re giving up.”

“…I’m not.”

“Tch.” Hyunjin throws a pillow at Yeji’s face, which she catches. “Your thoughts say otherwise.”

Yeji unceremoniously sits on the beanbag chair beside Hyunjin’s bed, hugging the pillow close to her chest. After repeatedly replaying her failed confession in her head last night, she thought she’d already be over it by now. Throughout movie night, Yeji could only space out as her friends ate their chicken wings and picked romance movies to watch for the night.

If Ryujin, Chaeryeong, or Jisu noticed, they didn’t dare say. The two ex-lovers probably had a lot on their mind too, and Jisu alone was trying her best to clear the awkward air between the two. When an unassuming Yuna noticed how weirdly silent Yeji was, Yeji quickly assured her that she was just tired, wordlessly retreating to her room before Jisu could even press play on their first movie.

That night, Yeji fell into a dreamless sleep, waking up sick and exhausted. She wanted to float away to the depths of space, to swim in its darkness and wonder what could have been. Maybe it was wrong of her to hold onto Jisu so closely to her heart, to their little moments of affection and warmth that she had probably misconstrued for something more. She has spent enough time yearning for someone the universe didn’t wish her to have. It is probably wise to stop now.

Unfortunately for her, her scarred, confused heart has always had a nasty habit of doing whatever it wants, wisdom be damned. And it still wants to hold Jisu. Admittedly, Yeji still wanted Jisu too. Or at the very least, for her to know how she felt about her.

But how can her superhuman strength break down the figurative yet impenetrable wall between them that is Choi Soobin?

Yeji looks up at Hyunjin with a frown at the realization. “Maybe I should give up after all.”

Hyunjin only hums in understanding, awkwardly giving Yeji’s back a few pats in consolation.

“Doesn’t Jisu know that you’re gay, though? Why are you asking me for a date?” he pipes up, pointing to himself.

“She knows. I’d like to take you because I need all the moral support I can get, as insufferable as you are.”

Hyunjin snorts, amused. “How about Chaeryeong?”

“Yeongin. Guy from Ryujin’s psychology elective.”

“Shuhua who talks to the dead?”

“Soyeon sunbaenim will kill me if I touch any of her friends.” Yeji shivers. “I mean, she can’t, she’s human, but her eyes get me every—”

“Ooh! How about Hussey herself from Hussey’s pizza? Aren’t you two close?”

Yuna’s crestfallen face last night after telling Jisu that she couldn’t go appears in Yeji’s head, making her frown. “Cram school.”

“Your other bestie than me, Shin Ryujin?”

The girl rolls her eyes at the nickname. Ryujin was the first person she asked last night, and also the first person who rejected her, on edge from being cold-shouldered by Chaeryeong.

Yeji sighs, already defeated. “Just tell me you don’t want to go.”

“But I am going!” Hyunjin retaliates, pointing to the other occupied bed in the room with his thumb. “With Seungmin.”

“Hi, Yeji,” Seungmin’s voice comes out of Felix’s lips as he waves at Yeji from where he’s sitting. Yeji fires her charades teammate a friendly grin.

“Did you two get invited by Soobin and Jisu too?” she asks, watching in fascination as Fe—Seungmin shifts back to his original form while fiddling with his laptop.

“Eh, no. Seungmin’s seniors from the music program are performing. He’s there for moral support while I’ll be there to eat rich people food.” Hyunjin beams. “It’ll be nice.”

“Can’t just the three of us go together?” Yeji suggests, already too tired to think. “We’ll just sit together for a few hours like we used to at the alliance meetings and then…” her voice softens, “I’ll probably leave to nurse my aching heart when Soobin gives Jisu some grand romantic gesture. Or something like that.” she continues, sinking deeper into the bean bag chair.

Hyunjin turns his head to Seungmin for a few seconds, telepathy in full swing. Yeji sits up just in time to see Seungmin mouthing something to Hyunjin who only nods, finally turning to Yeji with his hands folded together.

“Charades champs’ comeback?” he deadpans, Seungmin rolling his eyes at the remark.

Yeji waits with bated breath for their verdict.

Hyunjin grins. “We’re in.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

HR: 75 bpm

“Yeji,” Jisu’s voice is calm from the other line, “you don’t need to go if you don’t want to.”

Yeji looks up from her pile of newly bought clothes she had just picked out with Hyunjin. The pair of boots Seungmin had insisted for her to wear with the ensemble sat on the side of her bed, waiting to be worn. She grabs her phone from the bedside table in her room, turning off the loudspeaker before pressing the wafer-thin flip phone to her ear.

“Why wouldn’t I want to go?” she asks as she lies down on the bed, strands of red hair scattered against her generously sequined top.

(Seeing Jisu with Soobin is the most obvious reason, but Yeji has decided to take that to her grave.)

“You’ve been prepping for this for a while. You’ll need moral support from Chaeryeong and I.”

“I know, I know. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

The line is silent for a few seconds. Yeji hears Jisu’s heels clacking against the tiled floor of the hotel she’s in, and the sound of conversation in the background slowly disappearing into silence.

“Choose a table near the balcony at the venue tonight, okay? Just… so I know where to look for you.” Jisu replies lowly.

Yeji’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “What? Why would you need to look for me?”

“You make me feel at ease, remember? It’s a big night for me.”

“Oh, right.” Yeji nods, blushing at the memory. “Sure.”

“Good.” Jisu sighs in relief. “I’ll see you later? Don’t think about what you’ll wear too much!”

“Don’t worry. My dates picked out one for me already.” Yeji smiles. “I’ll see you too.”

“And Yeji?”

“Hmm?”

A brief silence.

“I’ll just… talk to you later. Take care, Yeji.”

The line cuts off before Yeji can say her goodbyes. She’s left alone to think about the boots that had seemed out of place for the occasion, her itchy yet beautiful sequined top, her bedroom ceiling that needed cleaning, and Jisu’s odd request.

“Take care, Yeji.” Yeji echoes her friend’s words, every inch of her dreading the night to come.

HR: 90 bpm

There is nothing to be worried about, Yeji reminds herself.

The party is already in full swing outside of the confines of this absurdly fancy, air-conditioned women’s bathroom, where Yeji is now hiding. When this night started, the introvert in her was delighted to see some familiar faces among the crowd: Chaeryeong with Yeongin, people from her department, an old classmate from high school, a TA who helped her through a language course, and surprisingly, some familiar members from the Meta Alliance. Hyunjin and Seungmin seemed happy to see them as well, the latter disappearing with one of the electric users to the off-limits staff area near the buffet table. That left her and Hyunjin to choose a table near the balcony towards the back of the lavishly decorated ballroom, its tables with gold trimmed linens and ornate flower arrangements.

Nothing stopped Yeji from being drawn to an elegant Jisu in an expensive black dress, however. Throughout the night, the latter made rounds through the tables, shaking hands and sharing friendly banter with the many young guests and benefactors.

When she had been four tables away from Yeji’s own, their eyes met for a moment. Jisu was quick to smile & wave Yeji hello before being whisked away to the next table by Soobin (annoyingly sharp-looking in his suit, Yeji notes) and four other men dressed in similar attire. The room was swarming with men like them, who guided important guests to designated tables and apparently kept Jisu within a protective bubble.

Yeji closes the running tap in the sink in front of her with a sigh. She nervously wipes her hands on her tight-fitting pants before bracing herself on the countertop, strong hands careful not to remove a chunk of precious marble. She already split a soup spoon in half earlier after Hyunjin snickered at her dejected face, still unable to talk to Jisu personally an hour into the party.

The girl groans, glaring at her own reflection.

"Why the did you break that stupid spoon?"

Ever so clumsy, Yeji dropped the fragments of the broken spoon accidentally. One fragment had settled down beside the feet of a snickering Hyunjin, and the other one ended up under their table. With her laughing mess of a friend already reaching for the fragment by his side, Yeji casually reached down, lifting the table's heavy skirt to retrieve the other piece.

To her surprise, the broken spoon had settled beside a familiar animal mask.

A bunny mask.

Yeji’s mind burst into a frenzy then, full of thoughts of shattered glass, of the nauseating orangeness of streetlights, of being hunted. But she isn't on the street outside her apartment complex anymore. She’s on the 20th floor of a hotel, in a party that Jisu had organized. A charity event for an orphanage. This is not about Yeji, nor her kind. There is nothing to be worried about.

But her mind just couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in her stomach. The metahuman in her wanted nothing but to fly away and to never return to this place ever again. So, she decided to do the next best thing—hide in the closest women’s bathroom until her mind finally decides to calm down.

Yeji detaches herself from the countertop, deciding that it’s probably time to stop hiding. After all, she’s been here for half an hour now, and that would be enough time for even the densest of people to notice her absence. Before she can even leave her spot, the bathroom door creaks open, followed by the sound of a familiar giggle.

The girl turns on her heel and is suddenly faced with a giggling Yuna and a surprised Ryujin, both dressed in Hussey Pizza’s signature red and green waiter uniform. Yeji’s eyes widens at the sight.

“What are you two doing here?”

“Unnie!” Yuna squeals, locking Yeji in a bear hug as Ryujin watches from the sides. “We were looking for you!”

Yeji whines before practically melting into Yuna’s arms, her eyes threatening to shed tears. The relief she had suddenly felt at that moment was simply overwhelming. She subtly wipes a tear on her cheek with a manicured finger as Yuna pulls away.

“But what happened to cram school?” Yeji asks, grabbing her younger friend’s hand.

“Yuna’s dad needed some help.” Ryujin explains, inching closer to give Yeji a side hug. “We’re actually serving the party on the ground floor, but you know. What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him.”

“I’m glad you guys are here.” Yeji grins genuinely for the first time that evening. “Have you guys talked to Chaeryeong yet?”

“We have,” Yuna nods, sparing a glance at a sighing Ryujin. “All things considered, I think Ryujin unnie carried herself pretty well.” She smiles knowingly, eyes filled with mirth.

“I stumbled over the words ‘I’m sorry’ in front of Chaeryeong at her crowded table. How does that count as carrying myself well?” Ryujin ruffles her own short locks, embarrassed. “At least she didn’t laugh at me,” she continues, throwing a giggling Yuna a pointed look. “Probably won’t be talking to Yeongin ever again, though.”

Yeji laughs along with Yuna, looking at Ryujin with a fond smile. “Guess I’ll see you and Ryeong bickering in my apartment again soon, huh?”

“If you and Jisu unnie aren’t busy with each other, you just might.” Ryujin snorts.

A ringtone interrupts the moment between the three friends. Yuna lets go of Yeji’s hand, reaching for her pocket to grab her phone. The screen lights up, showing the familiar polaroid picture of their little friend group sitting on a cream-colored couch.

“Dad’s looking for me and Ryujin unnie already.” Yuna grumbles as she reads the notification bubble. She turns to Yeji with a hopeful grin, eyes forming crescent moons.

“Say hello to Jisu unnie for me, will you, unnie?”

Yeji nods, a small smile on her lips.

The high schooler pats Ryujin’s behind on her way out, a bounce in her step. As soon as she closes the door behind her, Ryujin turns Yeji to face her with a stern look, concerned eyes scanning the latter.

“Is something wrong? You looked like you were close to tears earlier.”

Yeji exhales. Nothing ever gets past Ryujin, it seems.

“If I told you what it was,” the older girl starts, avoiding her best friend’s eyes, “you wouldn’t be able to help me anyway.”

“Is this about Jisu unnie and that Soobin guy again?” Ryujin continues to study Yeji. She inches closer, lowering her voice to a whisper. “Or is this a metahuman thing?”

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