Edited by InspiritDream

Thank you so much for helping me out ^^

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It was just another Tuesday for everyone else, but it was one of the most exciting days for seventeen year old Cho Eunmi. 

When she returned home after a long day at school, she finished her homework while she waited for her parents to come home. The sound of keys jingling and alock clicking open caused her to jump up from her bed and dash downstairs. She reached the living room and greeted her parents. 

Eunmi saw that behind her parents was a young, tall and lean boy. His wavy brown locks were tousled from the cold winter wind and his dark eyes were averted to stare at the ground.

Growing up as an only child, Eunmi had always wished for a younger sibling, but due to a disease her mother had gotten, it prevented another pregnancy. On her birthday, she didn’t wish for the most recent iPhone, more clothes, beauty products, or even a new laptop. She had wished for a younger brother, and that was exactly what she got. 

Eunmi smiled brightly and briefly hugged her parents, thanking them greatly before introducing herself to her new brother with a ninety-degree bow. She waited for him to respond, but he only remained silent while staring at her.

“He’s a little shy. Come on Kyuhyun, be polite and introduce yourself to your sister.” Her mother chuckled quietly.

She placed her hand lightly on his shoulder, but took it away quickly when she felt him tense up beneath his black jacket. 

The boy, named Kyuhyun, stood stock still, showing no emotion but a light tint of red on the tips of his ears.

“It’s fine. This is Kyuhyun; he’s fourteen and likes video games.” Mr.Cho’s low voice boomed through the quiet atmosphere.

“I’ll show him his room!” Eunmi said enthusiastically without hesitation as she bounced up the stairs, dragging a very surprised Kyuhyun along with her.

Almost a year had gone by, and today was a big day for Kyuhyun; it’s the day he turns fifteen. 

It would be the first birthday that he celebrates, for the orphanage he stayed at never gave him a second thought. His new family may have treated him well in the short year that they took him in, but Kyuhyun remained cold and emotionless. Eunmi would always feel a sense of danger around him, but she was determined to be a good sister, and so, she ignored it. 

Everything has to be just right on such an important day like this. However, it wasn’t her birthday today, and she wasn’t going to be the one making a wish.

Eunmi finished all her homework in class and sped home after school to get ready for tonight. Kyuhyun isn’t a very social person; therefore the party only welcomes their family. 

While running up the stairs and into her room, Eunmi didn’t notice the dark figure that was watching her. After taking a quick shower, she changed into a silky white sundress. She was braiding her hair when she spotted Kyuhyun through her mirror, seeing him leaning against her room door. ¶

He slowly walked towards are as she turned around with a bright smile on her face. Eunmi stood up to greet her brother, but the words were frozen in when he gave her a tight hug.

“I just want to thank you; thank you for wishing for me.” He whispered as she stood still. 

Surprised and overwhelmed with emotions, Eunmi didn’t see the harsh expression on Kyuhyun’s face that was wiped off when he released his hug. Without saying anything else, he left the room and returned to his dark self.

Any minute now, their parents will come home with Kyuhyun’s birthday cake and presents. Eunmi just couldn’t sit still at this moment, and she could’ve sworn her heart jumped out of her chest when her parents opened the door. 

Squealing happily, she ran upstairs to once again drag a very surprised Kyuhyun down. She pushed him to where the cake was and dimmed the lights while her parents lit the candles. After she sang happy birthday to him, they told him to make a wish and blow the candles. He did as he was told and smiled mischievously.

“What did you wish for?” Eunmi asked curiously.

He glanced at her and smirked, “If I told you, then it won’t come true.”

Music blasted through Eunmi’s headphones as she was putting the finishing touches on her school assignment. A glance at her clock told her that it was 11:59pm, and it was time to sleep. Her eyes were slowly closing as sleep took over, but a loud thump caused her to snap them open. Then came curiosity as she quietly shuffled out of her room. 

Upon heading towards the stairs, Eunmi noticed Kyuhyun’s room was vacant and her eyebrows knitted in confusion since it was early midnight. A second thump followed by a groan of pain caught her attention, and forced her to remember the purpose of getting up in the first place.

“Kyu?” She called out when she reached the foot of the stairs. “What’s going on? Where are you?”

Kyuhyun’s clear voice rang through the quiet house, “Nothing; I’m in the kitchen.”

She took uncertain steps towards the kitchen door and slowly pushed it open, only to sigh in relief. There were balloons and streamers everywhere with a large banner hanging from the ceiling that read, “Happy Birthday Sis” in fat, blue bubble letters. Kyuhyun was standing behind the kitchen island with a large, silver platter placed in the middle. A lid was covering what was in it.

Eunmi’s eyes widened in pleasant surprise. “Kyuhyun…” She trailed off. 

She had never expected her younger brother to go through all the troubles, and she regretted not doing the same for him as she rendered speechless. 

He looked up at her and slowly lifted the lid, revealing his gift on the silver platter.

Heads.

The heads of their mother and father lay on the plate in front of the younger boy. With an evil grin replaced his usual colourless smile, his eyes darkened as an unrecognizable look contorted his features. This was not the brother Eunmi knew. This was not Kyuhyun.

“Breathtaking, I know.” Kyuhyun grinned. “Wanna see their bodies?”

Eunmi froze in terror and couldn’t spit out the words that were caught in , despite wanting to scream at him not to show her. She couldn’t even shake her head. Even if she had managed to find the ability to speak, Kyuhyun would’ve ignored her anyways. He grabbed her wrist and forced her into the dining room, dragging her along just like she had on the day they met. 

The dining room showed nothing worse than what she had imagined. Bloody ribbons of cuts littered the arms and chest of her father’s decapitated body that lay on the wooden floor. Her mother’s beheaded corpse was set on the table like a meal ready to be served. With pale skin showing that all of their blood had been drained along with their lives, the limbs of both her parents were twisted into grotesque angles that weren’t humanly possible.

This time, she couldn’t handle it. The smell of fresh blood and death was too much, and the dinner and cake they had earlier rose and emptied out of her stomach. Kyuhyun watched her until the digested food and stomach acid had combined with the sickly stench of all things to do with death and decay. 

She wiped and looked up. Her eyes met a dark, sadistic, gleaming glare, and the thought that she might join her parents infiltrated her mind. Kyuhyun caught the fear that flickered in his sister’s baby brown eyes and smiled in a comforting manner, but his expression was never warmer.

“It’s okay.” The brown haired boy whispered in her ear as he crouched down beside her. He traced circles on her back soothingly, but she tensed as anxiety shot through her body.

The corner of his lips lifted as he watched her crumble in fear.

“Why are you so scared? You would do the exact same thing if you were in my position.” His voice was as smooth and soothing as a flowing river.

“I waited… and waited and waited. I waited for them to come back. To come back and bring me home. But they abandoned me; left me in that hell of an orphanage for fourteen stinking years.” Kyuhyun looked away and stared at the wall as if the answers were written on it.

For just an instant, Eunmi felt a terrible urge to wrap her arms around him and let him collapse into her embrace. But she forced herself to look at the mauled corpses on the ground, and to remember the reason why she’s here in the middle of the night, covered in her parent’s blood. Her heart shattered into a million shards that pierced her insides.

He looked at her once again, his deep brown eyes red and sparkling with tears. The siblings stared at each other for what seemed like a long time, both of them sharing their pains. However, Kyuhyun suddenly stood up and covered himself with an aura that knocked the breath right out of Eunmi.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you… sis.” His voice was coated with venom as he said the works mockingly. “I’m not going to let you suffer like I have. I’ll let you experience a life as an orphan, though.”

Kyuhyun brushed past Eunmi, who was unable to move, and headed to the front door as he flung it open. The frigid winter air blew into the house, but Eunmi’s arms were already covered in goose bumps.

Without looking back, he sneered quietly before departing and, he whispered his last goodbye. “Your wish came true, and so did mine. Happy Birthday, Eunmi.”

Uhm, so… A lot of things to say here, hahaha.

First of all, I noticed that you have many run-on sentences. It doesn’t really matter while reading, but sometimes they didn’t make sense without a period or comma in between them.

Second of all, your paragraphing skills were fairly good, but at times, you put two different topics in one paragraph. Those were mostly in the start, though, when you were describing things, etc.

Thirdly, I noticed was that you put the action before the words. I’m not saying it’s wrong, but usually the words would come first, seeing how the first words are what we read first, right? There were some that didn’t make sense, so I had to change those ones.

Fourth of all, one of the major mistakes I saw was where you placed your periods after your characters finished speaking. You put them after the quotation mark, like this: ”. It’s not correct to put it like that. If the character is done speaking, and you put the period after the last letter, it counts as the end of a sentence/paragraph already. The quotation marks are just to show talking, etc. They don’t change where the period will go.

Fifth of all, there were some parts were your grammar was confusing, so I couldn’t understand what you were trying to write. I fixed those parts just to follow along with the plot that I learned from reading the story, and from context.

Sixth of all, you spelled Kyuhyun’s name as “Kyuhyun”, but Eunmi’s name as “Eun Mi”. Like I said before, decide how you’re going to do it; if you’re going to spell Kyuhyun as “Kyuhyun”, then spell Eunmi as “Eunmi”. If you want to spell Kyuhyun as “Kyu Hyun”, then spell Eunmi as “Eun Mi”. Make sure the format is the same.

There were a few more other things, but I think they were just small things. ~

Now, don’t think your writing is bad because of this editing I’ve done, haha. I don’t want to discourage people from writing.

If you have any questions, just message me~

P.S. Your title doesn’t really go along well with the story, but it still somehow relates to it. I’m not sure of what to recommend you, as I fail at story titles too, ahhaha.

P.S.S. Your story plot is great. I’ve never read a fanfiction about this. (And if you don’t know, I love violence. Ahahhahaa.)

Author's Note

Hello guys, I know this is a one shot and everything but I still think it could be better and asked for a final editing from InspiritDream. What did you think? If you want your stories to be edited, I highly recommend her. Don't go and bombard her with messages though, she's not a grammar checker.