Lisa was gazing blankly in the ceiling, lost in her deep thoughts that she can't barely feel the woman moving on top of her. She's still thinking what she and Jisoo talked about earlier today and frankly she's the kind of person that will not make any kind of favor for anyone. 

"friend my " she muttered as she recall her friends words , and just like that the blonde girl is in her head again. "Aish!" she annoyedly sat up from the bed effectively knocking off the half woman on her lap. She doesn't like it when she starts to think of Jisoo's sister because it takes her time to shake her off her mind.

" W-what? am I doing it wrong?" the girl asked worriedly.

"For heaven's sake!" Lisa silently whispered to herself when she remembered how Chaeyoung saw  her the other day.. It gave her a very weird feeling.

The other girl eyed her nervously.. which made her sigh.

"Sorry Nancy, I'm not in the mood anymore.. " the doctor said as she starts to get off the bed and search for her top.  

"But-"

"Maybe some other time"  she said as she put her top on, she's not the one to explain herself so just like that she left the room with the confused Nancy still on the bed with a frustrated look.

"Seriously.." Lisa sighed as she go to the doctors lounge to get  shower. "That sickly blonde will destroy my life" she grumpily marched to the bathroom.

●●●

"Why do you look so sad?" Lisa rolled her eyes when she found her least favorite blonde beside her eyeing her innocently with a lollipop on .

She looked at her "Why you must be here? and out of your room again?"  she asked lacking any emotion as she pulled the stupid candy on the patient's mouth.

"Hey!" Chaeyoung tried to get the candy back but Lisa already threw it on the trash bin nearby. the blonde girl pouted at her as if she just made a very big mistake. "That flavor is the best! You wasted it!"

"It's just useless sugar.. and seriously its not healthy for you brat!" Lisa look down at her.

Chaeyoung look at her with deeply offended expression, eyes are all teary as she looks at her .

'Great.. the waterworks has been pulled out again' Lisa can only sigh in the thought, as much as she hated to admit the Blonde girls tears gives her uneasy feeling. She shook her head  before she speak again. "I will get you any food you want,  healthy food. come with me." Lisa absentmindedly took the girl's hand and  pulled her gently in the direction of the cafeteria. 

Chaeyoung walk behind the doctor while looking at their linking hands.. Lisa still looks as cold as ever but she cant help but to smile a little.. noting how Lisa's hand felt so warm.

●●●

" Really I'm soooo happy!" Chaeyoung sing talks looking at the half eaten food in front of her. After getting all the food she wants Lisa brought her to the roof top garden of the hospital building, since the Doctor got bothered by the people looking at them in the Cafeteria, this the most peaceful spot to stay.

"Just hurry up and finish your food" Lisa ordered her as she flip a page of the news paper on her hand.

Chaeyoung pouted at the doctor who is busy reading on the other side of the bench. "Thank you for bringing me here.." the girl said as she look up to the sky full of feathery clouds.. its late afternoon and few more minutes the sun will begin to set. 

"You've never been here?" Lisa frowned as she looks at the girl who is now looking up in the sky, she watched as the wind blew the blondes long hair gently. . for some reason she find the sight oddly beautiful.

"Nope.. It's my first time in 3 weeks" the girl smiled without moving her eyes on the sky above them. "I have been here so long.. yet I don't have a slightest idea that there's a place this beautiful here.. I feel regretful.."

"There's no need to feel like that.. you can visit this now as much as you want" Lisa muttered.

The girl look at her and smiled brightly.. the sun must be jealous of how the girl's face shines when she smiles like that. Lisa thought but immediately erase it..  "I hope so..  I will still have a chance like this... I'm so lucky to be here with a friend."

"I'm not your friend"

"For you I maybe not.. but you are all I have"

Lisa felt it again, the not so subtle pounding of her heart on her chest, she averted her gaze elsewhere hoping that it works for her. The blonde girl is really doing a great job making her uncomfortable. 

"How  I wish I did it sooner.." the girl continued. 

"Did what?"

"Exploring.." Chaeyoung take a deep breath as she looks ahead of her. "I grew up in isolation you see, but never did I remember myself  asking  anyone to take me out.. I didn't bother to look outside the gates or even wonder what's on the other side.."

Lisa's eyes were drawn to her again as she listens.

"Mommy and Jisoo unnie has always been enough for me.. I feel like I didn't need anything else." the girl smiled a little "How could I be so wrong?" She asked sadly.

The other woman folded the news paper and put it aside as she turn her body to the blonde girls direction. "You regret it?" she asked almost inaudibly but the other girl seems to hear it somehow. she look at her direction with an unreadable expression on her face..

" Yes.. I do." Chaeyoung is looking at her straight in the eye. "Now I feel that I wasted so much time.. seeing places like this, It makes me think that the world is too big and I chose to stay in a room."

"You can see more you know.. there's a lot of wonderful places, a lot better than this.."

"I don't have a lot of time.."

"You're the only one saying that. why are you limiting yourself? You're still young if only you will take your chances.. then you don't have to live like this. "Lisa  eyed the girl. "Be honest with me.. why don't you want to be treated anymore?" 

Chaeyoung shook her head "You will not understand-"

"If I'm your friend you will tell me"  Lisa insist.

the blonde girl just stare at her for a while contemplating if she will answer or not.. the doctor stood up after the long silence, disappointed.

"I guess I'm not really a friend as you claim, well if i may say so.. instead of just thinking about yourself and your plans of dying, why dont you think about your sister?"  She told the girl dryly she was about to turn back when she felt a pair of hands on her arm.

she looks down at the girl with pleading eyes, as if begging her not to go.

"What?"She asked coldly

Chaeyoung stand up, her eyes are glittery with impending tears.
"I'm very tired.. "

Lisa went silent.

"It's not like I wanted to die.. I hoped to be better, i really did.. just to end up being disappointed over and over.. and yet I still hoped some more.."

The girl release her arm and put her hands on her chest.. "You must be thinking that I'm selfish.. just giving up like this." Soon her tears rolls to her delicate cheeks. "being disappointed over and over is one thing.. but watching people I love be broken hearted whenever it happens is another."

The Doctor just watched her frozen on her spot.
 

"I love my sister Dr. Manoban.." The girl continued silently. "and I'm killing her little by little everytime.."

"Chaeyoung.."

"Jisoo Unnie grew up to be a very strong person. She's the toughest and yet I always hear her crying on my bedside all the time, thinking I was asleep. She's suffering more than I am.."

The blonde girl gave her a sad smile.
"All I wanted is to be a good sister.. I want her to be happy. I have to go and set her free.."