"Minseok, there's something I have to tell you." I gave him a concerned but clearly confused face and nodded for him to go on. He seemed like he was battling himself inside his head. Clearly, he knew that whatever he was about to say would affect me. I reached for his hand to give him some reassurance but he pulled his hand back before I even touched him. Before I even had the chance to be hurt by his actions, he spoke again. I will never forget the next few words that came out of his mouth that night.

"I've been cheating on you."

I honestly can't tell you what my immediate reaction was. Anger? Yes. Sadness? Definitely. Jealousy? Maybe, but I had always been insecure. There were so many feelings going through my body. I remember feeling dizzy and I couldn’t concentrate. It felt like I was feeling everything all at once, and then all of a sudden, there was nothing. All the emotions must have been there, but I couldn’t feel anything. There was nothing but numbness. I could’ve reacted in so many ways but all I remember doing was staring at him.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Minseok, a-are you serious? I just told you something that could ruin our relationship, and you’re not gonna say anything? Don’t you feel anything?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then what? TELL ME.”

“What should I say?”

“Argh. Minseok! Tell me you’re angry. Scream at me. Tell me you hate me! Cry! Laugh! DO ANYTHING. Tell me how you feel! I can’t tell you what to say because I want to know what YOU say. Not what I want to hear, not what anyone else says!”

“I can’t do that.”

He looked extremely frustrated with me. “What do you mean you can’t do it? You can’t tell me your feelings? Don’t you feel anything for me?”

“You know that I do.”

“Then tell me! I need to know.”

“Luhan I care about you.”

“No! That’s not what I meant! You can’t say just say that! I just broke your heart! You can’t just act like I didn’t just tell you that!”

“I just don’t know what to do say now. I’m sorry Lu.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I don’t know. I just feel like I have to say it.”

“Don’t say sorry just because you feel like you HAVE to say it. You have to mean it too.”