July 2003 four months after Beom’s funeral 

"The movers are here, bring your luggage!' his father yelled from outside.

      Baekhyun had opened his bedroom window to let the draft in because he couldn’t help but feel like the walls were closing in on him. He had been feeling a tightness around his chest for the past few months. It wasn't so much physiological as it was psychological.

The Byuns had come to a conclusive decision that they would be moving to another city. Baekhyun didn’t care for where they were going. All he cared for was the distance and how far he’d be away from his hometown. There were memories in this place, things that would forever be etched in his mind. His parents knew full well running away from these hard memories wasn't going to solve their problems. Perhaps it was a temporary solution.

He had met up with Chanyeol a few days ago. Baekhyun explained to him that because he was still technically only seventeen years old he was legally obliged to follow his guardians’ orders and move across the country. It was a hopeless situation. 

Chanyeol wasn’t too happy about the move. He had insisted that Baekhyun stay back in town, apply to a university here. Baekhyun knew that wasn’t an option. He tried to reason with Chanyeol, helping him understand that his parents weren’t lenient when it came to his future. They would make him attend the university they wanted him to. He had no say in it. Chanyeol was having none of it.

Tension grew between the two.

It was only a matter of  time before they had their first fight. It happened the day before. Chanyeol had come to the Byun’s house to help Baekhyun pack his things. They hadn’t been talking much anyways after Beom’s passing. Everything had come to them like a bulldozer crashing upon their neighbourhood. The shock had yet to dissipate. 

They tried to keep up normal conversation. 

Chanyeol took out the clothes from his closet, and began to fold them neatly, placing them into an open box. Ever since he had arrived he’d been giving off a strange vibe. He hadn’t kissed Baekhyun today. He usually gave him a peck on the lips, even if he wasn't in the mood. 

“I think I’ll be going to a local university.” Baekhyun said.

Chanyeol grunted, acknowledging not that he was listening, but more that he could hear the other. 

“I know you’re mad about the whole moving thing, but my parents feel like they can't live in this house anymore, especially...you know.” Baekhyun drifted off.

There wasn’t a sound that had come out of the older’s mouth. It was a taunting situation. Baekhyun felt like he had been talking to a brick wall. At first, he was willing to accept that Chanyeol just wasn’t in the talkative mood, but now he felt like it was rude.

“It would be nice if you could listen to me.” Baekhyun said.

Chanyeol looked at him now. He rested the last sweatshirt into a box, and closed it. 

“Did you see Kai yesterday?” Chanyeol asked.

“What?” 

“Baekhyun, answer me.” Chanyeol walked towards him.

There’s this sort of air in the room that’s suffocating. Baekhyun felt his chest tighten again like it does nowadays. This time his heart squeezed with anger. He hated the mean look in Chanyeol’s eyes. THe eyes of an accuser. Like a lawyer at court, blaming a victim for a crime they had not committed.

Kai had come over yesterday to pay his respects. It was uncalled for, but Baekhyun was grateful. He had been his friend after all. It was the polite thing to do. 

“Kai came over because he wanted to give his condolences, nothing else.” Baekhyun said.

He snatched the box of clothing from the bed, angrily taping it together. Then, he walked over to his closet and took out his shoes. He threw them carelessly into another box.

“Tell me the truth.” Chanyeol pleaded. 

Baekhyun’s eyes widened. A vein was threatening to pop from his forehead. He’d grown into a habit of grinding his teeth when he was angry. He felt his jaw sting now.

“That was the truth.” He threw a pair of shoes at Chanyeol’s feet. 

“Calm down.” Chanyeol said.

He kicked the shoes away, watching Baekhyun completely lose it. This was his breaking point. He always thought about what Beom’s breaking point had been. Perhaps school? Perhaps Baekhyun? He imagined life would have been miserable for his older brother. Baekhyun had just been too good at dealing with his pain, hiding it, acting like it was normal.

Of course he felt responsible for his brother's death. Of course, there was no doubt about it. Had he went back up to check on him that day of graduation, had he called him, had he listened to him even once, had he actually been a good brother, things would have played out differently. 

“Don’t tell me to calm down when all you’ve been doing these past few weeks is being paranoid and accusing me of cheating on you.. I’m getting tired of it. I’m tired of this.”

“I knew you were too young for me.” Chanyeol said.

“Take that back,” Baekhyun tackled the taller.

“Get off me-!” Chanyeol struggled in a choke hold.

Baekhyun had the upper hand, fired up and a boiling anger building up his chest. He felt like he could strangle Chanyeol if he could. 

Chanyeol grabbed his arm and pushed him to the floor.

“You wanted to be treated like an equal, right? You’ve always wanted to act older than you actually are. Then show me.” Chanyeol seethed.

Chanyeol became scary. He held up his fist, ready to punch the frightened Baekhyun who had already curled up from fear. He was stronger than this, right? He shut his eyes tight, waiting for the blow.

“I-I’m sorry.” Chanyeol said, “I don’t know what has gotten into me.”

He released him from his hold, while Baekhyun opened his eyes to catch a terrified look in Chanyeol’s eyes. The man was shaken up. His hands were trembling and eyes could not meet the others. His face twisted into a combination of embarrassment and fear. He had never hit Baekhyun before, but just about now...he was about to hurt him. This wasn’t like him. 

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything. He walked up towards his boyfriend and encircled his arms around his abdomen. He holds him tight, close enough that he can hear his heart thumping inside his body. And then, there was a slight trembling cry that Chanyeol let out. It echoed through the room. Baekhyun only squeezed him tighter. 

“I’m here, don’t worry.” Said Baekhyun

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Present Day

“I’m sure he’s told you to stop contacting me, but here you are.” Baekhyun said.

Him and Kyungsoo were back again at the same cafe. Baekhyun had just gotten done with work at the clinic so he still had on his scrubs. Tired and a little irritated, today he needed answers from Kyungsoo, who was very insistent that he could somehow cure Chanyeol’s creative slump. For the record it wasn't so much a creative slump as it was pent up depression. 

 First, he’d asked him to meet in their studio a couple of days ago. It didn’t turn out as planned when Chanyeol had gladly kicked him out. Now, the determined dough eyed friend had another plan up his sleeve. 

Really, what Kyungsoo didn’t understand was that Chanyeol thought of Baekhyun as plague. He didn’t want anything to do with him and it was very evident. There were no second chances in Chanyeol’s book, he had always been stubborn in that way. After what had happened back at his studio, Baekhyun also felt like he didn’t want to start trying. Had both of them moved on?

“I know, Yeol’s deleted your number out of my phone several times. Thankfully, I have it written down. Anyways, I came here because I have a proposition.” Kyungsoo explained.

Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest, a typical nuanced way of telling people that he was not liking where a conversation was going. He grinded his teeth.

Kyungsoo opened his phone and zoomed in a picture. It was a poster of sorts, an invitation.

“Our entire company is holding this huge anniversary party tomorrow evening and I’m inviting you-”

“Will he be there?” Baekhyun asked.

“Yeah, but that's why I’m inviting you. I figured last time was a little awkward considering it was just the three of us. Now...this is a more social situation you will feel more comfortable catching up with him”

“Why are you trained on helping Chanyeol reconcile with me?” He asked Kyungsoo again.

It was an honest question. While it may be in his best interest to leave the situation between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, Kyungsoo had heard enough about them to know how much both of them needed this. It didn’t have to be reconciliation. A simple conversation couldn’t hurt. Besides, Kyungsoo felt completely in debt to Chanyeol and all he had done for him. Back when he was rookie producer, the man had taken Kyungsoo under his wing and decided to mentor him. Without him, he wouldn’t have the career he has now. 

Kyungsoo had to admit, he used to have a crush on Chanyeol. It was a while back, his confession was awkward. Had he known about Chanyeol’s past with Baekhyun he would have never pursued his feelings.  After all, when he did confess, Chanyeol admitted he didn’t think he could be worthy of anyone’s love anymore, that he had really only loved one person.

Baekhyun considered the look on Kyungsoo’s face. He was deep in thought, a little flustered.

“Are you...guys together?” Baekhyun asked. 

Kyungsoo shook his head and smiled reassuringly, “No, we aren’t. He’s my good friend.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun sighed, “When I first saw you two back at the clinic I thought-”

“Oh no! Definitely not, please don’t misunderstand.” Kyungsoo said.

“I hate admitting that I was scared he was with someone else. I’m selfish for thinking that, but I’m glad he has a friend like you." Baekhyun smiled.

Perhaps at this moment Kyungsoo saw the spark in Baekhyun, the aspect that Chanyeol had loved so much. Baekhyun was an inspiring, strong and hardworking character. He never saw the worst in people, always gave them the benefit of the doubt. Kyungsoo was envious, but not a bit jealous as it was hard not to fall in love with Baekhyun.

“Im sorry, I just can’t come to this party. I’ll only talk to Chanyeol if he is willing.” Baekhyun responded to his request.

Kyungsoo sighed, “I understand. He can be difficult.”

“That’s an understatement.” Baekhyun emphasized. 

Minutes passed before the both of them had finished their coffee’s. When it was time for Baekhyun to go back to the clinic, he made sure to pay kindly for Kyungsoo’s items as well. Baekhyun stood by the exit of the small cafe, letting Kyungsoo take for the door first. 

Breathing out the fresh november air, Kyungsoo buttoned up his trench coat. When he turned around to bid Baekhyun farewell he was surprised to see the vet holding out a small cylindrical piece of join between his dry lips.

Baekhyun’s nonchalant eyes met Kyungsoo’s. He tilted his head curiously before presenting an arm forward with a cigarette. 

“You smoke...still?” Kyungsoo said, waving off the offer to take a hit from the other.

“Of course I do. With the psychological damage I had going for me, nothing could have prepared me enough. Drugs are just the pathway that was most inevitable for me.” Baekhyun said, puffing out a grey cloud of smoke.

“You studied health surely you know what that does to your lungs-”

“Oh I know all about it. I know that it eats at your alveoli and suffocates you. Eventually, you get lung cancer. Actually you get it indefinitely and in the hopefull chance you don’t, you’re more likely to suffer from a heart attack. I know about it. I just don’t like to be reminded of it.”

“Chanyeol hates smokers.” Kyungsoo said, holding in a cough.

“I’m glad everything’s finally making sense to you.” Baekhyun laughed as he threw the of the cigar on the ground and roughly stomped on it.

If the word occult and cryptic had a personification, it would truly be Byun Baekhyun. He was a man of many wonders and talents. Yet, he was scarred from all his past. From the suicide of his older brother which he could no longer let go of. It was a situation of unrest. A death left on unsatisfactory terms that was left for interpretation of the living. Kyungsoo imagined Baekhyun’s relationship with his parents would not have been easy after the suicide, he was probably heavily blamed. Of course, Baekhyun continued to blame himself to this day. It was clear as day. The vet didn’t want to admit it, but he thought of himself as a criminal and maybe this is what Chanyeol had been so angry with Baekhyun about.

Years ago it was maybe Chanyeol that had held them together and Baekhyun had fallen apart. If there was no one to blame for his older brothers suicide he would simply just blame himself. 

“I guess it won’t hurt to come to the party.” Baekhyun said, finally.

Kyungsoo blinked in surprise, “I’ll send you all the details by email, then.”

“I hope not to be disappointed.”

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Disappointed he was. The event was high profile, such that Baekhyun did not fit in at all. He had worn one of his old grad suits from vet school and put his hair up slightly. He cared for his appearance and to be honest, a little extra of liner was overkill for Baekhyun. It was evident that he had really dressed up in hopes of seeing Chanyeol.

Except, an hour within entering the casino-like club, he aimlessly walked around, regret eating him up. The disco lights were distracting, the music was loud enough that the bass made his organs shake and then there was the horrendous smell of cologne and alcohol. It was a cesspit of celebrity producers and musicians. He imagined the Chanyeol he knew and how we would have stuck out like a sore thumb within this clique.

“Baekhyun! You came.” Kyungsoo came from behind him, hugging him.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said.

“I’ll take two vodka sodas-” Kyungsoo began telling the bartender.

“Oh, no I’m good, I’m not drinking tonight.” Baekhyun said, shaking his head.

“Why not?”

Baekhyun shrugged, “Not a huge drinker.”

Kyungsoo chatted with him for what felt like forever. Baekhyun was preoccupied, ducking his head around crowds of people with the aim of finding a familiar face.

“Oh there he is.” Kyungsoo said, pointing at the entrance.

Baekhyun turned to see Chanyeol walking in with a crowd of unfamiliar people. He had dressed nicely, a white dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. A loose tie hung from his neck to which Baekhyun mentally smirked at. An old lazy habit of his. 

Kyungsoo eratically waved his arms for the tall man to catch  their attention. As soon as he saw Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s face fell.

As Chanyeol walked towards him, so did his other friends. It seemed like they were close, laughing and kicking each other playfully. When they approached Kyungsoo they hugged and talked about not having seen eachother in awhile.

Baekhyun awkwardly bit his lip, kicking his feet on the barstool to pass time until Kyungsoo decided to introduce him.

“Guys, this is Baekhyun, he’s a friend.” Kyungsoo said.

“Hi, nice to meet you all.” Baekhyun forced a smile, avoiding Chanyeol’s glaring eyes.

“Producer?” A short man with a sly smirk asked.

Baekhyun politely shook his head, to answer no. 

“He’s obviously an Idol, Jongdae,” A deeper voice said.

“Come on guys, let's get drinks.” Chanyeol interrupted the conversation, clearly not wanting to have anything to with his friends meeting his ex.

Baekhyun's eyes found him. He was too afraid to say anything. If he knew anything about Chanyeol it was that he hated to be embarrassed in front of his friends. Baekhyun didn’t want to make it clear that they knew each other and he presumed Chanyeol didn’t want to explain their relationship at all. 

“Yeah, yeah hey, Baekhyun you should come with us to get sushi.” The same one, with the deep voice told him.He had on a deep cut v-neck silk dress shirt. His chest was adorned with expensive jewelry. His face read amiability, but his body language showed flirtation. 

Baekhyun hated the offer. He was about to decline, but Kyungsoo caught up to him.

“He’d be delighted.” 

Chanyeol looked like he could kill someone in that moment.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Surprisingly, from the stress of knowing that he was going to be hanging out with Chanyeol and his strange group of friends after the party made him consume a lot of alcohol. Thankfully, Baekhyun wasn’t the type to exert many ‘drunk’ symptoms. To start, he wasn’t the type to spill the beans or express all his emotions. He remained tight lipped. As for the drowsiness, Baekhyun had learned to overcome that with the help of a shot of espresso. However, there were a few things even Baekhyun’s tamed mind couldn’t avoid when getting drunk.

After several shots of who knows what, his face had a slight redness to it. Of course, his inner child-like state returned for the . So yes, the reason why he didn’t want to drink wasn’t because he was a drinker. It was because of his indescribable embarrassment of getting drunk.

Kyungsoo and him had made it to the sushi restaurant with the group of partiers who were starving and surely, not as drunk as Baekhyun was.

Baekhyun ate in silence, side eyeing Chanyeol who was at least 3 seats away from him. When he was not looking at Chanyeol, one of his friends was occupying him with gibberish about music.

“I’m sure Baekhyun doesn’t care too much about music guys. He’s a vet.” Kyungsoo explained, surging the attention of the shyly drunk vet.

“No way, you could totally pass for an Idol.” Jongdae said.

Baekhyun smiled, feeling a little self conscious. He knew his cheeks were flared up because of the alcohol and having eight people stare at him exacerbated this.

Chanyeol looked at him for a second, before turning away to show a video to the friend beside him. If this is how it would go the entire night, Baekhyun may as well have called it quits.

The entire night had been a series of glances and looks. They had hardly talked to each other and Baekhyun felt that it was because of all these extra people around them. 

“You could always audition,” Tao said, he was the taller one of the group.

“Audition?” Baekhyun asked.

“There are so many agencies looking for models. If you give me your number I could put the word out for you.” Tao explained.

“I don’t know...I’ve never really done modelling before,” He turned to Kyungsoo who gave him an encouraging smile, “I guess it couldn’t hurt.” 

Tao brightened up at the response. He retrieved his phone and sat closer to Baekhyun to get his number and everything. 

Baekhyun decided maybe now was also the time he would call it a night. He could feel his drunkenness creeping up on him and if he remained any longer, he knew it couldn’t end well. Before he could dismiss himself, he saw that Chanyeol was looking straight at him.

Baekhyun searched his eyes to figure out what was going on. He immediately understood.

------------------------------------------------------

“You’re drunk.” Chanyeol walked into the bathroom stall after him.

He didn’t expect to be having a conversation in the confines of a sushi restaurant restroom of all places with his ex-boyfriend.

“I am.” Baekhyun said.

He forgot to add the, and so what if I am because he immediately ran to the toilet and spilled all the contents of his stomach out.

“You shouldn’t have come,“ Chanyeol said.

He winced again when Baekhyun threw up in the toilet. 

“I wanted to party. I wanted to enjoy myself.” Baekhyun tried to sound confident.

Even an acquaintance could tell he was lying through his teeth.

“You wanted to talk to me, Right? Here I am. Say what you need to say.”

“You know that's not fair, I’m drunk.”

“Why do you keep doing this? We’re never going to work, Baekhyun why can’t you understand that?” Chanyeol said.

It wasn’t so much the words, but the tone that he had used that made Baekhyun hold another round of vomit. The acid was daring to spill out, toxic and full of bitterness. Instead, his words did.

“It can work because I love you. I can make us work. This will happen.” Baekhyun said.

“We’ll just fight. Over and over again. We can’t work ,we’ll never work.”

“You know you hate it. You know you hate seeing me with other people. Then why can’t you just….” Baekhyun held his head in his hands, slurred and confused. 

Chanyeol pinched the bridge of his nose. He turned to the exit, stopping when he heard a light squeak. It sounded like a hiccup first, but when he looked back at Baekhyun begrudgingly he saw the man cry. The type of cry he hadn't let out since he was in highschool.

          Then, Chanyeol moved on his accord. Perhaps the alcohol, maybe it was what he needed to do at that moment. He knelt down gathering Baekhyun in his arms and holding him tight as he wept in his arms. How much stronger was he going to be? Was this ever going to end?

        "I miss him," Baekhyun said between sniffles. 

        "I know, I know.' Chanyeol rubbed circles on his back. 

          "I'm sorry….sorry. I killed Beom, didn't I?" Baekhyun said, words slurring into a drunk mess.

          Chanyeol's face fell. Hearing his best friends' name after so long felt like a wave had pulled him into a deep ocean. He looked at Baekhyun trying to understand why he could utter such a thing. 

Perhaps it was the feeling of pity and regret that made him soften his anger.

“I’m taking you home.” Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun pushed him off, “No, I’m staying right here.” He slurred. 

Chanyeol closed his eyes in frustration. He was holding out on yelling at Baekhyun, but he felt that his drunken state required a little authority. 

“Baekhyun, come on you’re drunk.” Chanyeol pulled him up. 

Without another sound Baekhyun obediently got off the bathroom floor and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's neck from behind as if he was asking to be piggybacked. The older rolled his eyes and picked him up from behind his legs, letting the drunk man whisper incoherent words in his ear. 

When he walked out to the restaurant where all his friends were seated, they all looked up at him, clearly confused.

“Yeol, what's wrong with Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo asked.

“He’s just super drunk. I’m going to take him home.” Chanyeol said.

His friends looked at each other, clearly confused by his outlandish behaviour. Most of all, they were probably wondering why he was so invested in taking a drunk ‘stranger’ back home by piggybacking him.. They didn’t know that Baekhyun and Chanyeol had known eachother since they were kids. Kyungsoo though, smiled at the scene, throwing a small wink in his direction.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Kyungsoo had somehow managed to bring the two of them together, and Chanyeol hated it more than anything. He hated that he willingly brought Baekhyun back to his apartment complex, gave him food, let him change and shower and slept in his bed while the owner slept on the couch. Time had done it’s charm, and it seemed that Chanyeol had reached his breaking point. He could no longer stay mad at his ex.

        Even if he tried to be angry with the younger, he knew Baekhyun would never stop trying. He wasn’t a “giver-upper” as he called it in their childhood. 

“Here,” Chanyeol cautiously carried a bowl of chicken noodle soup to his bedroom.

Baekhyun had woken up from a long night of screaming and wailing in the middle of the night. Sometimes he’d wake up and lie on the ground, singing himself sounds. HIs drunken state was no pleasent of sorts. As a punishment his head muscles were clenched in a massive migraine. His body felt like it would disintegrate from alcohol poisoning. 

“Thanks,” Baekhyun said, accepting the bowl of soup, “Your room is nice.”

Awkward. That was so awkward. He wasn’t trying to start a dry conversation though, he hadn’t expected Chanyeol’s room to be so tidy and clean. From what he remembered, the boy was a slob when he was younger. He had posters of musicians he couldn’t name all over his wall and a piano keyboard in the corner. Then again, the shock that had overcome him when he had woken up in his ex-boyfriends house was nothing compared to the tidiness of his room.

“Thanks, I got the apartment a few years back.” Chanyeol said, his eyes directing towards his window.

“Oh...right after college then?” Baekhyun asked.

“Uh yeah- are you done with that?” He pointed at the empty bowl of soup.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun smiled, handing him the bowl.

Chanyeol flew out of the room, leaving Baekhyun there alone. Baekhyun could tell what Chanyeol was feeling even if he was standing a mile away. He was scared and most of all nervous. Perhaps it was too soon to be staying at his house like this. Everything was going too quickly and the poor guy was overwhelmed with having his ex-boyfriend of five years here, in his bedroom, talking to him. Baekhyun hated the idea, feeling like he was contradicting his plans to make up with Chanyeol.

Nonetheless, he went to the washroom and washed his face. After, he threw on his jacket which was on the floor and gathered his shoes. He wasn’t going to initiate something if Chanyeol wasn’t comfortable. 

“Hey. I just want to apologize for getting drunk yesterday and also for making you go through all this trouble. Thank you, and I need to get to work, so I’ll see you around.” Baekhyun said.

Chanyeol was in the kitchen, furiously washing one bowl. He looked up at Baekhyun, his eyes blinking quickly.

“Oh.” Chanyeol said.

“Yeah, thanks, again.”

“----------------------------------

“You did what!” Kyungsoo yelled, slapping his hand on the kitchen table.

“Jesus, Kyung keep your voice down.” Chanyeol said.

“I come here, thinking you two were boning each other and you tell me you let him go all willy nilly!” Kyungsoo is in utter disbelief. 

“You sound like an overenthusiastic mother.” 

“Yeah, well I think I’ve become one.” Kyungsoo stabbed a fork in the pancakes Chanyeol had made him.

When he had knocked on his apartment complex he was shocked to see that Baekhyun was not present. Shock then turned into anger and he began yelling at  Chanyeol off for his carelessness. He schooled him on the fact that it was rude to let Baekhyun go without offering him a proper breakfast. Perhaps even giving  his number or telling him to come back.

Even Chanyeol thought his response to him leaving was dumb.

“I just...I was so overcome with the idea of having him at my place...I blanked out.” Chanyeol explained.

“You screwed this up big time.” Kyungsoo crossed his arms over his cheast.

“You’re acting like I told him off.” Chanyeol said, confusion lacing his voice.

“Well, in relationship terms you did. I mean think about it. You bring your ex to your house with the intention of making amends and instead of telling him to stay back you let him off. You are so hard-headed . Not to mention Baekhyun’s white lie, he even doesn’t have work on Saturdays mornings.”

Chanyeol scrunched his nose, “Who said I was making amends?”

“Yesterday when I saw you look at him with those eyes- oh you know what I mean.”

The taller shook his head incredulously. He had ignored and pushed off Baekhyun the entire time at the party, he had made it his goal to ignore him.

“No, I don’t know what you mean.” Said Chanyeol.

“You’re burning eyes of jealousy after Tao started hitting on Baekhyun. We all know Tao only gets people to come to his modeling agency when he’s got the hots for someone.” Kyungsoo snickered, watching as his friend made the very eyes he spoke of.

“Baekhyun doesn’t even want to model.” Chanyeol retorted.

“There, there it is again.” Kyungsoo smiled.

“Shut up.” 

“You need to man up or you’re man is going to be taken right from your fingertips.” Kyungsoo said.

“I-he....I want to take things slow. It’s been a long time. I’m sure he feels the same.” Chanyeol reasoned. 

Kyungsoo throws his hands up in the air in defeat. There was no winning with Chanyeol, being stubborn was in his nature. He refused to see anyone's side of the story besides his own. His fatal flaw, you could say.

“It’s time to be realistic. If you don’t catch up to Baekhyun, someone else will.”

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Kyungsoo’s words were imprinted in his mind. If you don’t catch up to Baekhyun, someone else will. From his knowledge, Baekhyun wasn’t dating anyone right now. In fact, he assumed the reason he had come to the party was because he wasn’t with anyone.

Still feeling slightly unsure about Baekhyun’s intentions, he decided it was best that he listen to his gut instinct. Chanyeol’s gut was telling him to lay off a bit. To take it slow with Baekhyun.

He rounded off the corner of the studio, his car idling his car at a red light. Traffic piled up, making him groan in annoyance.

Looking out his window, he saw Puppy Love, the dog clinic in daylight now. It had a cute paw print design. The facility was quite big. He saw dog owners bring in all kinds of dogs from pomeranians to poodles. 

He never usually this end of the street, unconsciously he’d made a turn that potentially took longer for him to get to the studio.

Slowly, his eyes followed the figure he’d been meaning to see.

Baekhyun threw on his brown trench coat as he took to the outside. It looked like his shift was over, or maybe he was on break. Chanyeol liked it this way, observing his ex-boyfriend from afar, such that he didn’t have to awkwardly talk to him, try to make it seem like no time had passed.

The vet stuffed his hands in his pocket. Then, another man came to stand beside him. He was the same one, Kris who had taken the dog Chanyeol had found on the streets a couple days ago. 

Chanyeol glanced at the traffic signal that remained red. He looked back at Baekhyun.

They were chatting, laughing about who knows what. Chanyeol found himself clenching his steering wheel, anxious. Kris still had on his lab coat and scrubs on. He playfully pushed Baekhyun’s shoulder as if he had just told a joke. An outsider would think they were merely friends, but Chanyeol was no outsider. He saw Baekhyun’s eyes. He was happy. Content. Something Chanyeol had failed to provide him for many years. 

Kris waved Baekhyun goodbye and went into the clinic. Baekhyun remained standing outside, leaning against the wall. He rummaged through his coat pocket and took out a box. He lit the cylinder and then puffed in the addictive nicotine infested smoke.

Chanyeol almost hit the accelerator. He had known Baekhyun hadn’t truly stopped smoking all these years, in fact, it had probably gotten worse. He’d tried to quit a few times but to no avail. 

Their eyes met. 

Baekhyun was surprised. He waved with his right arm, holding the cigar in his left hand. 

Chanyeol was flustered, trying to figure out what to do. He simply just waved back and deeply breathed from nervousness. If he was any closer to the other he would have combusted.

Honk. Honk.

Chanyeol jumped to the car telling him to drive behind him. He muttered a quick apology before looking back up at Baekhyun in a lopsided smile. 

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First love. Always the most special and innocent. Also the type of love that was hard to overcome. First loves were in a way a part of you unless you got over it. Chanyeol was having trouble getting over him and Kyungsoo wasn’t going to live unless he continued to make him feel that way.

He was caught in a hoop, a circle that would never end. It was in his DNA to love and care for Beaekhyun, no matter what state. 

“This song is amazing, Yeol. When did you write it?” Kyungsoo asked, flipping through the pages of lyrics.

“Last night.”

“Looks like you’re getting the mojo back because of a certain someone.” He winked.

“I suppose…” 

“Ask Baekhyun out.” 

“What? You’re out of your mind.” Chanyeol said, laying on the couch of his studio, covering his mouth because he didn’t want Kyungsoo to catch him smile.

“I think I’m being reasonable if you ask me. Sure, he’s your ex, but exes can get back together. Besides, you said you wanted to go slow. Well, first comes dating. Then comes marriage-”

“Unbelievable.” Chanyeol laughed. 

“Well then, I’ll just have to email him this heart felt love song you wrote for him,” Kyungsoo said, holding out the piece of paper teasingly.

Chanyeol lunged for it. He placed it safely in his filing cabinet, wiping off the look of annoyance on his face.

“I was thinking…” Chanyeol reached over to play a few keys on his piano, “That I could take him to dinner or something.”

“Adorable.’ Kyungsoo said.

“You’re not making this any easier.”

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The plans changed when Chanyeol saw Baekhyun walking along the street out of his clinic. On his way from making a coffee run, he caught up the younger, calling out his name.

“Chanyeol? What are you doing here?” Baekhyun asked.

The said man came to his knees, breathing hard after having to chase after Baekhyun. In one hand he had a tray of iced lattes and americanos. 

“I just went for a lunch break from work. Um, would you like a coffee.”

Baekhyun hesitantly lifted up the cup and turned it around to present an unknown name on the back, “Isn’t this for someone else?”

“Well..they can always get it another time.” Chanyeol reasoned.

Had this event happened a week ago his doings would have been out of the ordinary. It was hard to believe that he had been so cold and mean to Baekhyun when they first met. The antithesis of when they met as children. Baekhyun had been the sassy and upfront one, now he had grown and evolved into a polite adult. 

“So, how's work?” Baekhyun asked, taking a sip of someone else's coffee. 

“It’s going. I mean, probably nothing compared to your job.” Chanyeol said, recognizing the pair of grey scrubs that Baekhyun wore under his trench.

“It’s stressful, but nothing compared to my shifts at the hospital.” Baekhyun reminded him.

“So um...do you want to come to my studio. You could finish your coffee there and you know it’s kind of chilly out here so…” Chanyeol stopped himself, realizing how unconfident he sounded. 

“Sure, I mean unless you’re going to kick me out again.” Baekhyun laughed.

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The studio lights automatically when the both of them stepped in. Chanyeol had left his tray of coffee at the front desk, explaining that he had dropped one of the coffee’s of his coworker on the ground so that's why one of them was missing. He easily told the lie, nervously glancing at Baekhyun to catch his reaction. In response, the younger only smiled, shaking his head in disbelief.

Baekhyun put his hands in his pockets, still uncomfortable being around his ex alone. He admired the musicians and records on the wall. Chanyeol also kept a pile of old-school vinyls nears his keyboard. Baekhyun plowed through them, his face shown with disappointment.

“You won’t find any pop songs in those.” Chanyeol told him.

“I know, a man can dream.” Baekhyun said, thinking back to their old times, where their music tastes were so vastly different it often led them to many arguments.

“There is...one song though. I learned how to play on the guitar.”

“Oh yeah?” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. 

“Something called, Teenage d-”

“Teenage dream by Katy Perry, no way!” Baekhyun jumped up, grabbing his old guitar from the wall and placing it gently in Chanyeol’s lap.

Chanyeol grinned from ear to ear, tuning the old guitar slightly before strumming out a small tune.

Baekhyun leaned into the music, as if the sound was pulling him in and filling him with ecstasy. Near the second verse of the song, Baekhyun hummed the tune, leaving Chanyeol a little shocked that he’d never heard his boyfriends singing voice before.

“Thanks, by the way. I know you hate playing pop songs.” Baekhyun said.

“I don’t hate it. I just prefer...classic rock and jazz. Besides, I have to thank you. If it weren’t for you then i don’t think I would have ever pursued music.”

“You’re giving me too much credit.”

“I’m giving credit where it’s deserved.”

Baekhyun smiled sadly. He took the brass guitar and placed it back on the wall, during it off a little before turning back to his ex-boyfriend. The air around them had become hostile. As if their conversation had been building up to something, but Baekhyun had built a wall protectively around himself. Like he always does.

“Have I changed?” Baekhyun spoke after a few minutes of playing around with the record player.

“Yeah, a lot- wait no it’s not a bad thing.”

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were talking about my appearance.”

“No you’re still...you’re still beautiful. I mean...you’re a little different. More mature, I guess. And  I know you hate the word mature. It’s just...you’re more closed off now. I feel like back then, you used to tell me everything that was on your mind. Now you think more before you speak.”

“You’ve changed too.” Baekhyun said.

“Really?”

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re still the stubborn old Chanyeol, but you seem to have opened up more. Oh and...you’re kind of lean now.” Baekhyun said the last part quickly.

“Say that again but slower.” Chanyeol said.

“You’re fit. I mean you were when we were kids, but now…” Baekhyun looks up and down his body, admiring the curvature of his biceps and his broad shoulders.

“Stop checking me out.”

“Old Chanyeol would have lived for this. You were so cocky about your body back then.”

“I’ve humbled myself.”

“Have you then?” Baekhyun said, chuckling a little. 

Chanyeol laughed then too. The younger smile had always been so contagious. It felt like they had blasted to the past, like he was in his old size 9 sneakers and he was talking to a whiny and bratty, shorter Baekhyun. This felt right, this was right. 

“God, I just remembered how much we used to hangout,” Chanyeol said, “Watch movies after school, yelling at the neighbours to annoy them. Time passes too quickly.”

Baekhyun looked down, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. Only people close to him could understand what such a small gesture could mean. Immediately Chanyeol smirked at himself, averting his gaze towards his computer screen and distractedly rubbing the back of his neck. 

“It’s a shame-”

“We should go see a movie.” Chanyeol interrupted him.

“Together?” Baekhyun asked.

“Alone- y-yeah together. I mean just the two of us.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes staring up at the wall of musical records. For a moment, Chanyeol felt that he had lost the battle of flirting. There was another thing that was different about Baekhyun now that he was older, his oozing confidence. The willingness to shrug things off and act like he was on top of the world. It suited him, and yet, it would probably lead to Chanyeol’s demise.

“I’ll go, I’m paying.” Baekhyun accepted shortly.

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Authors note: PLease please please let me know how the story is going and give me any sort of feedback you have, hopefully all positive. That being said, I apologize in advance for my poor spelling and grammar. I get too excited so I rush trying to get the new chapter up. So yeah, proof reading is not a commonality. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy!