-Minhyun’s POV-

 

I watch as you walked down the aisle escorted by your brother and your mother. Everything is like a scene from a movie, everything’s in slow motion as you take each step forward I feel the tears slowly clouding my vision, I blink the tears away as I continue to watch you. Your eye lock to mine. Every memory from the moment we meet until today keeps on flashing in my mind like a broken record on repeat.

 

I still remember the first time we meet in the cafe near our high school 10 years ago. You ask me if you can share with me because it was a peak hour and all the table is occupied. I let you. You introduced yourself as Kang Dongho. I still remember how bright your smile is as you thank me before you go, how your eye looks like turn into crescent shape like the moon as you smiles and how contagious your laughter is.

 

I still remember how the next day you were introduced as the new transfer student from Jeju. I remember how loud our female classmates squeal because of you and how shocked I am to see you again. Even Jonghyun have to tap my shoulder to bring me back to reality. I still remember how shy you’re as you introduce yourself in front of the class, and how red you turn when someone asks you if you have a girlfriend, and you shyly answered that you are not interested in dating as of now. Which make half of the class cry in disappointment, and half to sigh in relief. The teacher asks you to occupy the seat beside me at the back.

 

I remember how wide you smile when you see me, the guy from the cafe. I still remember how Minki invited you to join us for lunch, and how you shyly look at me, Minki, Jonghyun and Aron-hyung like asking for our approval for you to join us for lunch and we just smile at you giving you a small nod. From that day on you become one of us. We spend our lunch breaks, recess and vacant together. I also remember how we go home together and sometimes stop at a convenience store for ice cream and snacks. We have also agreed to just walk from school because we like to spend more time together. My house is the furthest and you always insist on taking me home, and in the morning you are always outside our gate waiting for me. We go to school together.

 

When we graduate from high school we have decided to study in Seoul National University. We all enrolled under the college of business, Aron-hyung and Minki took up Marketing Management and the three of us Jonghyun, you and I took up financial Management. The three of us got closer. Like always you easily got close to people and so you have discover one of your hidden talent composing, when you meet Bumzu hyung one of our senior. You got to be so close to him so close that I must admit I was a little jealous, you can’t blame me for the past two years we have been so close and now I barely saw you. You’re always with him. Until Bumzu hyung graduates, everything goes back to normal, you’re back to fetching me every morning, having lunch with us and going home together.

 

We used to hang out near Han River sight-seeing and riding our bikes racing each other. I remember when you first taught me how to ride a bike, you didn’t let go and you didn’t stop until I can stand on my own. How we always stays in each other’s house having sleepovers and talking until we eventually falls asleep. We continue being like this for a very long time. Slowly I realized that I’m slowly falling for you. But I’m scared to tell you the truth.

 

 On our senior year our college organized a party for the seniors a farewell party, a congratulatory party whatever you wanna call it. And everyone is in a rush to find the perfect date, asking around who still doesn’t have a partner yet. I lowkey hope you’ll ask me to be your date but who am I to hope until... I remember as I was walking down the hall to my locker when Jonghyun give me a red rose and then Minki, and Aron-Hyung and twelve more students some ere our blockmates and some are our mutual friends and I see you on standing in front of my locker singing a new composed song and holding a single stem of white rose and then I realized that there is a tag attached to each rose and it spell out ‘WILL YOU BE MY DATE?’ and the white containing the question mark. I was tearing up during that time and I was speechless and I was only able to nod my head and then you hug me. I can see the happiness in your eyes.

 

The day of the party came and we were so happy dancing, socializing, enjoying ourselves this is our last party us college students and in one month time will graduate. Everything looks so perfect and happy. I remember how you look so perfect that night how your hair is combed up and you were wearing a Blue tux and Black slacks hugging your perfectly fit body and it just highlight how perfect you are. How you open the door of your car for me and help me get inside. How you never leave my side that night, to the point that people ask us if we are dating even our friends keeps on asking us, how I wish to say yes but we aren’t and I don’t have the right and then you answer them ‘Not YET’ and there is something that makes my heart tight and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach.

 

Graduation day, marks the day that we bid goodbyes to our student life and welcome to the life of Unemployment kidding. This marks a new start for all of us. The start of a new chapter in our lives. Lucky enough we all got accepted in Nuble corp. All five of us and you, me and Jonghyun are assigned in the Finance Department while Minki and Aron hyung are assigned in Marketing. Things go smoothly.

 

I remember one day how you keep on acting strange and I don’t understand why. And the next day you ask me if I’m free on Saturday and Of course it’s you and I always say yes to you. And I can say that it’s one of the unforgettable moments in my life. You formally ask me to be your boyfriend and without any second thought I said yes.

 

After a year of dating we decided to move in together to spend more time together. Everything is perfect. And then you decided to go to Jeju to introduce me to your Family. They like me and I like them too I’m just so happy that they accept and supports us.

 

On one of our monthly tradition to eat lunch or dinner with Jonghyun, Minki and Aron-hyun. While having our monthly traditions Aron hyung announce that he and Minki is now engage and is going to get married. And I was so happy for them. Finally after all this year of push and pull relationship that they have they are finally settling down together.

 

On their wedding day I remember how Minki cried, the way they exchange their vows of forever to each other how happy they are as they look at each other. And today you’ll do the same thing.

 

I remember how you always go home late and I was furious because you refuse give me any explanation, I called Jonghyun and rant to him and he told me to trust you. So I did and on our third anniversary we celebrate it by having a road trip together. And when the night falls you took me to a man made forest and told me to wear a blindfold and you gently guide me to somewhere as you hold my hand. When I removed the blindfold I saw a candle lit dinner for two in the middle of a gazebo and then as you help me sit down, someone come out, out of nowhere and place the foods and the wine on the table. It’s just so perfect. After eating we just stay in silence lost in each others eyes. And the a music plays and you stood up and ask me to dance but then as I stand up you kneel down in front of me and you show  me a black velvet box and inside is a ring and the you ask ‘Will you spent the rest of your life with me? Babe will you marry me?’ tears started falling down my eyes and ‘Yes, I will marry you.’

 

 

 

As if on cue I was brought back to reality. You now stood in front of me, with that beautiful smile of yours. I hug you so tight a bone crushing hug the final hug we can share like this because after this everything will change. “Please be happy and take care of him” I hold your hand and bring you in front of the altar where you groom awaits you. Where Jonghyun is silently crying and looking at you. I hug Jonghyun and tell him to take care of you. And with that I hand you over to him with one final hug and one final look. I smile and goes down the altar

 

 

No I wasn’t your groom, I’m only your best man. I was never the one you loved. It’s time to wake up Hwang Minhyun, because he was never yours. All this time I was just watching on the side wishing I was him. Wishing that you’ll love me too, that you’ll look at me with the same fondness in your eyes.

 

Yes, we first meet up at the cafe but I was with Jonghyun and he made you laugh in such a short period of time. Maybe from that moment on I already like you.

 

Yes, you recognize me as the one who is the one with Jonghyun in the cafe.

 

Yes, I was your seatmate but your eyes is always glue Jonghyun’s every movement. Like he is a magnet that always catch your attention.

 

Yes, you always bring me home with Jonghyun because he is my twin brother we literally live together. And everyday you pick up Jonghyun and greet him with you blinding smile. As the two of you walks together I’m walking behind you wishing that I was him, but no.

 

Yes, we took up financial management together and yes I’m still the third wheel in your relationship if there’s any.

 

Yes, I was jealous of Bumzu hyung because you just meet him yet you already spent this much time with him and you never even look at me like that I was your bestfriend. It also hurt me to see Jonghyun sad because of you.

 

Yes, After Bumzu hyung graduated things goes back to normal. You and Jonghyun being happy and lovely. Love is clearly evident in your eyes the way you look at Jonghyun screams love. There are times when you’ll sleep over in our home and for mom and dad not to be suspicious you’ll ask me to stay with you and as you cuddle to sleep as I cried myself to sleep wishing that it was me I’m your arms.

 

 Yes, we hang out in Han River but I was there to accompany you and Jonghyun. The only memory I could hold to is our bike racing.

 

Yes, you taught me how to ride a bike and maybe that was one of the best moments of my life I get to spend some time with you. But you know what hurts is seeing you and Jonghyun riding one bike, your arms wrap securely around his slim waist for him not to fall as he sat in front of you because the dumb don’t know how to ride a bike and end up breaking a fence.

 

Yes, I realized that I have fallen for you, so deep and I can never tell you. Because seeing how happy you are With Jonghyun make me retreat.   

 

Yes, we did have a farewell party and one night you call me to ask if Jonghyun already have a date for the party. I almost lie and tell you that he already have someone to go with but I can’t I love my brother more than I love you. So I said the truth. And you know what hurts is planning a surprise for your brother with the one you love. It breaks my heart as I help you write that song I also poured all my feelings for you but I guess I can never be like Jonghyun. I was the first to give him the rose and yes I was daydreaming as that happens hoping that I was the one being serenade by you and not him and after that Night I cried and cried I was heartbroken, drowning in tears and pain. On the day of the party you pick us up me and Jonghyun him on the passenger seat while I watch you in the backseat. I remember how you open the door for him and how you make sure he is already settled before you close the door. I ask you two if you are dating and Jonghyun just stayed silent and you answered with that proud smile of your ‘No, Not YET because I wanna wait until Jonghyun is ready.’ 

 

 It hurts but what do I expect right it’s too obvious and even a blind person can see the love every time you look at each other. And because of that I drink way too much to drown the pain and the sorrow I’m feeling. And as I drink my last bottle of vodka as if on cue the slow music starts and right in front of me you two dance, swaying to the beat of the music and your forehead touching as you smile to each other.

 

After graduation, I thought that I could finally get over you or get away from you. But fate just want to trap me more in this fantasy and suffering of mine. And we end up in the same company. But I’m happy because of course though you’re not mine I can still see you and for me that’s enough. Call me a masochist but I don’t care anymore I love you that much. And one day you started acting weird and Jonghyun got worried he ask me to look after you. And the next day you ask me if I’m free, I thought to myself finally you’ve noticed me. But I was wrong you ask for my help to prepare for your proposal for Jonghyun for you to finally and formally ask him to be your boyfriend. Right I’m only your best friend. You also talked to our parents to officially tell them that you like Jonghyun and I can’t do anything but help you, of course I’m happy but I know I’ll be happier if it was me.  Then Saturday came and we all prepared we wait in anticipation as you ask Jonghyun to formally be your boyfriend and without a single thought he said yes. We come out and greet you two.

 

After a year of dating the two of you decided to move in together and bought an apartment for the two of you. And fate just really love hurting me, Before you two move in I have already moved out of our home and purchase an apartment for myself maybe to be away from you and Jonghyun away from pain, But I was doomed when I found out that the apartment adjacent to mine is your new apartment. Yes, I saw you everyday being sweet and all. And it just breaks me every time. And you know what hurts the most is when you two ask me to join you for a short vacation in Jeju I didn’t know that you’ll introduce him to you Family and he is Jonghyun what can you expect everybody loves him and your mother already call him son and love him already.

 

When Minki and Aron-hyung announce their engagement and wedding plan I was so happy for them but it hurt that I was still hook up in loving you all these years and I still haven’t had the courage to move on or find someone. I was happy for them but I wish to find someone for me.

 

 

 

When your third anniversary is coming closer Jonghyun keeps on hanging out in my apartment at night ranting and venting how furious he is to you because you are always getting home late, what if you are cheating on him or what. I was also furious because as much I love you can’t bear to see my twin hurting so I confronted you. And I found out you been planning your proposal to Jonghyun on your third anniversary. And that’s when I felt my whole world shattered, I can no longer have you. I hug you and said my congratulations and left that Night I cry myself to sleep drowning my feelings and broken heart in cans and cans of beer and bottles after bottle of Soju. You ask me to stay with Jonghyun make sure he won’t know anything as you finalized the things for the proposal. And do you still remember how you ask me to go with you to the jewellery shop to pick the right ring for Jonghyun. I was grinning ear to ear when the sales lady told us we look good together but you deny it saying that we aren’t together, that I’m ONLY your BESTFRIEND and that we are here to buy a ring for your boyfriend and not me. It was never me… the preparation went well. And the day of the proposal came. You invited Jonghyun for a road trip and we monitor you as we prepare the Venue. When the two of you came and settle down I come out and brought you, your food and wine. I have also fix everything and when you two finish eating, I cue the band to play the song you write for him for the nth time.

 

When you kneel down in front of jonghyun I can feel the tears that slowly escape my eyes. I’m happy but it still hurts I love you but I guess it is time to let go. And when you kiss him when he said yes I feel numb. I just can’t see it anymore and walk away. But you saw me and I give you a thumbs up and mouth a congratulation and run to my car to drive away, away from the pain away from you.

 

Everything comes in a blur and now is the time for you to kiss each other. To finally seal the deal. You look at each others eyes full of love and tell him you love him as you hold his cheek and slowly got closer until your lips connected. And then you are pronounced husband and husband.

 

I promise myself that as I hand you over for him today I’ll let go of you and this feeling I have for you. I’ll let myself be happy and find my peace after the wedding I bid my goodbye to everyone and finally to the two of you.

---

 

“Jonghyun-ah Dongho-ah I wish for your happiness and peace. I’ve seen you from day one until today I can say you deserve to be happy together and you fit perfectly together. Please always be happy and healthy. I just wanna say Goodbye formally.” I raise my hand to stop whatever Jonghyun is going to say and smile. “I’m leaving in a few hours to travel the world, to explore and to find the one for me. Your wedding made me realize many things. So Brother please be happy with Dongho.” I said and stand up  hug the two of you for the last time and walks out the door. Then I feel a hand on my wrist that stop me.

 

“Is it because of me?” It was Dongho and I look at him and smile.

 

“At first I thought I’ll leave to avoid you, but now I realize I’m leaving for my own sake. I deserve to be happy like you two. Don’t worry I’ll come back at the right time. So Dongho please be happy and love my brother. I didn’t give up for nothing.” I said and walk close and Hug him “I love you and Goodbye.”

 

“Please be happy Minhyun-ah. I’m sorry that I can’t love you. But I wish for your happiness.”

 

Today I’ll start my journey to find my happiness. I hope that now faith is on my side.

 

-Fin-