Seungyoon’s eyes widen at Hoony’s words- how dare he remains calm when Seungyoon is a mess like this—

“Let out what Hyung?” Seungyoon laughs bitterly as he throws himself on his working chair. “Let out the fact that we’re absolutely failing? That our group is a flop? That we have the name WINNER but we’re actually just a bunch of loser?”

That... hurts. Like a hot knife, straight to his heart. But Hoony tries to stay calm; he needs to navigate Seungyoon’s mind right now- before this kid ruins himself even more. He stays silent as he watches Seungyoon lays his head back and looking at the ceiling.

“Hyung, aren’t you sad? We could’ve been big by ourselves.” Again, Seungyoon chuckles. Bitter chuckles, his words as sharp as a blade. "Hyung was shining so bright after KPop Star.... what a pity...”

“I don’t need your pity.” Hoony surprises himself with his reply; hey, he’s human too, with a pride.”What about you?”

“Me?” Seungyoon’s eyes are fixated on the ceilings.”I.... I think I’d make it big too. Maybe.” Seungyoon will never know, but Hoony could swear he sees one single tear runs down his youngest brothers cheek. A tear - result of his broken heart and frustration.

“Bigger than you are now?”

“Anything is bigger than us now, Hyung. We’re old and irrelevant and flop. Do you know ‘flop’? That’s what people call us Hyung.” Seungyoon laughs, his voice sounds coarse.

“What people?”

Seungyoon doesn’t answer.

“I said, what people. Who.”

“Just people. Who they are is not important.”

Hoony takes a deep breathe as he slowly sits down on the floor too, hugging his knees, his back against the door. He wants to be the strong, calm, rational one between him and Seungyoon- but he’s just human. Words hurt, Hoony knows it best - and hearing it comes out from his kid brother gives a different kind of pain.

“Do you regret us, Seungyoona? Being with your hyungs? Jinwoo hyung, me, Mino?” Hoony wishes he could hide the tremble in his voice.

Seungyoon... somehow his words are choking him- his words are not coming out. 

“Have we become a burden to you, Seungyoona?”

Seungyoon looks down- his heart is heavy- but he doesn’t know what, how, who, exactly. A suffocating silence fills the air.

Hoony forces himself to get up and sits on the bed, near Seungyoon. He slowly reaches out for Seungyoon’s arms - the owner has no energy to shake him off, he just lets Hoony holds his hands.

Hoony can feel the kid’s hands are dry and rough - it’s pinkish like a newborn baby - but the harshness lets him know how hard the owner has it. He looks carefully at the tips, and his heart sinks. Seungyoon again has hurt his own fingertips; it’s thickened with callouses, from playing too much guitar. Hoony slowly examines Seungyoon’s slim fingers, down to his arms, biceps, and eventually body. This kid is so thin - he’s always been thin - but not this way. Hoony looks at Seungyoon’s face and finds signs of aging there - and somehow, right there, he can’t handle it. He’s failed - and while failure is not new to Hoony; this one especially hurts.

“You know what, Seungyoon...” Hoony turns his face away from Yoon’s. “I did have this thought too. That maybe when Taehyun left, we should’ve left too.” He bows his head low, trying to hide the emotion in his face. His voice trembles badly but he’s trying to contain his emotion.

“I spent so many night staring into blank space in my room, trying to find comfort in the pitch black darkness. Jinwoo hyung tried to smile but....he broke down a lot too. Mino drank every single night and smoked so much I had to punch him to remind him he’s still a singer he needed to take care of his voice. And you....” Hoony slowly brings his hands into the cape of Seungyoon’s neck, rubbing it softly with his thumbs, over his pinkish ear. “You worked yourself so much you almost killed yourself. Do you know when you had to go to hospital back then how much we cried?”

Seungyoon stays silent...... his anger has simmered down now but it turned into this uncomfortable tight knot feels in his gut.

“Jinwoo hyung wailed... wailed so much it hurts me.” Hoony can’t help but start sobbing, remembering that painful day. “Mino didn’t say a word but honestly that is even worse. We felt so guilty for not taking care of our baby brother well... I’m still sorry even to this day.”

“We really try our best, Seungyoona.....” Hoony takes Seungyoon’s hands again. “I’m sorry if it’s still not enough.”

Seungyoon’s mind goes blank... seeing Hoony sobbing in front of him was something he never even imagine to happen. When he spurted out those careless words he expected Hoony to snap and yell back at him - maybe give him a slap or a punch - Seungyoon feels like a punch would’ve been nice and he deserves one for sure. 

“Hyung don’t say something like that....” Seungyoon is never good at comforting his hyungs, a small panic creeps through his mind. “Hyung don’t cry like that....” A pang of guilt strikes down Seungyoon’s heart, he’s on the edge of crying too, now almost whining at the sight of his Hyung sobbing.

Hoony looks at his baby brother again, how his eyes widened with surprise at the sight of Hoony’s sobbing, he can tell this kid is also about to cry. He knows - he always knows - Seungyoon is just a pure hearted kid with a passionate yet tender heart. He hugs Seungyoon, letting the smaller kid melts and sobbing instantly in his embrace. His thin frame feels so fragile it kicks Hoony’s instinct to protect this kid from any harm.

“You’re not alone, Seungyoona... you’re never alone.” Hoony rubs Seungyoon’s back to comfort him. “Your hyungs are here for you. We’ll go through this together. We’ll make it through. Like we always did.”