THIRD PERSON








 

The girl sat on her personal space at the van while her visual artists applied light make up for some retouches before she steps out. Her eyes were closed, calm. She's still and quiet. The manager who was sitting on the other side of the van announced that they are good to go outside so the driver made its way slowly to the crowd.

It was a slow, quiet ride. They had to wait in line considering how there are other vans who arrived first before them which the girl didn't mind. Her eyes are closed still, not bothering to say a word.

After three more vans in front of them that revealed the exit of Red Velvet, Twice and SHINee, it's finally time for them to come and for her to make her entrance.

It didn't take long for them to finally arrive. Her manager lightly shook her shoulder and she just sighed. Finally opening her eyes, she made a quick look outside and once again, sighed.

"Award nights are tiring." she muttered under her breathe before nodding to her manager who opened the door of the luxurious van, allowing the spotlight to shine on her. Noise instantly filled her ears. The kind of noise where you'll hear camera shutters from here and there. Media staffs, interviewer and certain fans that would ask her to look their way. Some would ask nicely, some would ask rather rudely for her opinion, by the way.

She deliberately looked on the directions of those who actually asked nicely and smirked at those which are quite rude for her. She's famous, the world loves her. What's there not to like? Not that it actually matter at this point.

"Aaaah, there's Taeyeon-shi!" the hosts exclaimed, exchanging words of praise in regards with the girl that is is now walking along the red carpet. Her face looked so confident but some thought flew along her calm mind while looking at the already paved crimson line by her juniors which she chose to disregard.

Her fame has reached a certain point that whatever she does turns out to be a success, be it simple or not. Be it luxurious or cheap. Be it hard or easy. She liked being famous. She liked it so much that she chose to throw away her old life in order for her to reach this current one.

She is happy. Or will it be more right to say that she was happy? 

She made her entrance quick as she entered the venue, exchanging a few words with the hosts for formality. Her manager which is already inside at the time she arrived showed her the direction as to where is will be sitting at and who she will be sitting with.

"Quite an entrance if you'll ask me." Jieun said, which is famously known for her stage name IU. Not minding, she still took a sit.
"Didn't know I'd be sitting with you."
"Didn't think you'd actually be complaining. I mean, you used to like me."
"A mere crush, if I might add. Let's just consider it admiration."
"I admired you first and your artistic way in music."
"I think yours is much more fine."
"So much compliment from the great Kim Taeyeon."
"You're supposed to thank me for that." she joked and Jieun chuckled.
"Dork. You look different though." Jieun pointed out and Taeyeon smiled. The kind of smile that Jieun knew is the real Taeyeon. Not the Taeyeon who would act in public, it's the real Taeyeon.
"Let's not say it out loud." Taeyeon said. In fact, she'd prefer if Jieun just did not point it out.

Jieun did not respond as the event had already started whereas someone also arrived. Looking at who, it was actually Yoona who's also nominated for the title of Best Lead Actress for the recent drama that she just finished.

"You're late!" Taeyeon pointed out as a joke and Yoona laughed as she took her seat.
"Yeah? Well, I've been listening to you guys exchange words. Been standing here for a while now." Yoona said and Taeyeon rolled her eyes, Jieun on the other hand, smirked.

Taeyeon decided not to say anything further. She has to be smart specially now that Yoona has arrived. Taeyeon knew better talk stupid and let Yoona say all of piece because she knew for once that it will involve the name of a certain person.

It had been a while since the awarding have started. Best Female Group title have just been awarded to Gfriend meaning to say Taeyeon will bump into her juniors. Not literally but they'll cross paths and she just had to internally curse under her breathe as she's seeing the certain group approach.

It was brutal to cross paths with them. Not that she hates them, in fact, in her opinion? Their music is good, has a certain touch to whatever they do which makes those have their label. They have their own artistic effect which she secretly admires. She does.

She would have been so much kinder to them had one of their members not been a part of it. She hated how the world actually noticed the resemblance that one member holds. She is actually aware about them ever since their debut era. Because SinB really does resemble Jessica specially on some angle. 

She gave them a slight nod as the younger ones gave a respective bow. She quickly congratulated them while the members of the group did the same for Taeyeon has been called out for winning the Disc Bonsang.

She quickly looked away but not escaping SinB's smile from the corner of her eyes. She cursed, "damn" in a whispering way.

She reached the stage and received the award just like how she normally does with all the other awards that she wins while Jieun and Yoona exchanged words as Taeyeon gives out her speech.

"You were saying something earlier." Yoona said and IU did not bother looking elsewhere apart from her friend which is once again on her camera mode on.
"That she looked different?" Jieun asked which she knows she doesn't really need to and flashed a small smile.
"Yeah." was all Yoona said. "She still look broken." the girl added and Jieun gave a small nod in agreement.
"She doesn't look broken." Jieun said and Yoona looked at her while she said, "She's still broken." she stated the fact and slowly looked back at Yoona who couldn't agree less.

It had been nearly 9 years since it ended, over between her and the certain Jung. They haven't heard from her since then. Tiffany would often change a few words with Yoona in regards with how Jessica has been. How she is. It's been more than two years since Tiffany has ended contracts with SM, meaning to say that by doing so, she's earned her freedom. Choice that she made in order for her to be with Jessica. Thing that Taeyeon could never have done.

Because of her dreams.

Meanwhile over the stage as Taeyeon is smiling while giving her speech, she paused briefly and looked loss for a second or three. She was then looking at crowd, the flashing lights of the media's cameras and the trophy that she is holding and remembered her thoughts as she walked along the red carpet earlier and yet she chose to shrug the thought away as other different thoughts are threatening to enter.

The speech ended very well and she returned to her seat while Jieun was called out to perform as she had just won two awards with one song so only Taeyeon and Yoona remained seated and the latter decided to talk about random things making the mood lighter because she saw Taeyeon's almost lost look at the stage.
 

It wasn't until two more hours until the event ended. Yoona will be coming with Taeyeon as Sunny and the rest of the girls decided to throw a small, private party for both girls. Arriving at the dorm, the rest of the girls is already there with Sooyoung and Tiffany.

Tiffany caught Taeyeon's eyes and she instantly greeted the long unseen best friend.

"Congratulations, Boo!" Tiffany exclaimed while wrapping the smaller one within her tight hug and Taeyeon chuckled.
"Yeah. You have been a little busy going around. You've been getting a lot of sun around Cali, why not stay here for a while? We, the girls and I are missing you." Taeyeon said and Tiffany chuckled.
"Oh yeah? I am always around from time to time."
"Just like a mushroom." Yoona interjected and Sunny instantly caught on what might happen so she let out an awkward laugh before calling everyone's attention and for Taeyeon to blow out the candle on the cake that the girls had prepared for her while she swore inside her head that she'd knock Yoona's head later.

Sooyoung who had caught on quickly as well joined Sunny on calling them while the rest came along. The girls once again congratulated Taeyeon for yet again, winning an award as a solo artist. Although they are not very much active, Sunny still thinks that everyone is being successful doing stuffs of their own.

Thing that if she had only knew back then, she wouldn't have decided to make certain callings that she still regret up until this moment because it doesn't really matter if she wants to or not. Being her uncle's niece is difficult as everyone expects that the ones that stayed on the group respect the agency's decision specially her.

Everyone had fun although Yoona had to leave early due to her next day's schedules and the rest as well specially Sooyoung who needed her alone time with Kyung Ho since both have been busy with their works, her on her bookstore and Kyung Ho being a famous and good athlete. Right now Taeyeon is cleaning the kitchen while Tiffany stayed at the balcony, Sunny accompanying her.
 

"How's California, really?" Sunny asked and Tiffany shrugged.
"Same old, same old. You really should come though, it's great. Like Taeyeon said, you should go outside as well, let the sun touch your skin for once, oh god." Tiffany joke and Sunny laughed a bit, genuine but a bit.
"You know I can't even if I'd love to." Looking at the city lights, Sunny smiled and Tiffany did the same.
"She's still her, you know? Just so much more matured. We all did but, she did a lot." The american girl said and took a sip of her champagne. "It's been more than 9 long years and things are still chaotic, but if it ain't, she'll come back home." Tiffany voiced out, making Sunny glad and latter's eyes glimmer with tears.

This is Sunny's first time openly talking about Jessica with a friend,  just not with the public. Sunny had always adored Jessica and was willing to go on immeasurable lengths just to have the girl back but as much as she wants to, she can't drag her best friend's name down. That would be utter betrayal and she knows how hard Taeyeon worked for what she has right now.

"She's going to pick me up." Tiffany said and hopefully looked at Sunny's eyes but she knows what those look meant. "It's a no, huh?" she chuckled softly and Sunny nodded slowly and in skeptically, truly unsure if it actually meant no. Jessica would just be meters away and yet she can't bring herself to see the girl.

Her guilt eating the best of her.

Tiffany's phone vibrated and she looked at it. "Guess it's time go." she said and smiled at Sunny, placing her hand on the smaller's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Taeyeon saw Tiffany coming in from the balcony. "You staying tonight?"
"Eyy, I know you'll miss miss and you miss my gorgeous self but no. Got to go." Tiffany said and wrapped Taeyeon in a soft but tight hug while the latter hugged her back.
"Take care going home." Taeyeon reminded and Tiffany laughed.
"Of course, boo. Duuuuh." Taeyeon parted and threatened to hit the taller who ran away as she saw Taeyeon doing so.
"The sarcasm!" Taeyeon yelled which caused the girl to flash her famous eye smile.
"You kind of deserve it!" Tiffany said as she gathers her things before making her way to the door. "But anyway, congratulation once again for another success." Tiffany said genuinely before exiting which Taeyeon yelled a thanks for. Tiffany definitely heard that. 

Taeyeon looked at Sunny and she knows what Sunny's sad expression meant. Jessica is the one picking Tiffany up, again. This is not the first time that Jessica did and Taeyeon is kind of expecting that already although this time, she ached to run down so much more than ever. Considering the thoughts that have been bugging her since earlier.

"Aren't you gonna go?" She asked Sunny who just threw an olive at her. 
"Aren't you?" Taeyeon rolled her eyes and threw the pillow resting on the couch towards Sunny's way which the girl had thankfully caught because if not, they'd have to run downstairs and pick it up.

The two smol girls exchanged more friendly banters and laughed the gloomy vibes away. Taeyeon who's definitely already tired went to the space that Tiffany previously occupied, Sunny joining along.

"Don't even talk about it." Taeyeon warned, sensing Sunny's actual and real intentions. "In the first place... it's already ended."
"That's just simply and grammatically incorrect." Sunny pointed out jokingly. "Once you end something, it's over. You can't go on ending it on a continuous basis for years." Sunny injected before exiting the balcony once again and before she was outside earshot of the girl who is now being filled with thoughts of her ex girlfriend...
 

 "Is it even really over?" she asked Taeyeon, leaving the girl speechless.


 

___


 

"Baby, just go any other day~ Let's spend time tomorrow~" Tiffany pleaded while the other girl just laughed.
"Baby? Should I call you mommy?" Jessica joked making Tiffany pout.
"Yah! But you always spend your time working whenever me or Krystal is not around!" Whining, Jessica could only laugh at Tiffany's childish behavior.

They have already arrived home after Jessica picked her up from Taeyeon's party and right now they are watching movies at the living room.

"Speaking of, when's your flight back to LA?" Jessica asked and Tiffany rolled her eyes, ignoring Jessica's question on purpose. "Yah, I was asking you!" Jessica reprimanded but still, no response from the girl who instead chose to roll her eyes on Jessica. 
"I was trying to spend more time with you but you're more concerned about my flight back to LA. Focus on me more atleast." Tiffany sulked and Jessica could only smile warmly.
"Aigoo~ My girl's on it again!" she and reached for Tiffany's cheeks as the latter was using the former's legs as pillow. She caressed Tiffany's cheeks so gently making the girl give in and hold her hand.
"I'm getting jealous, you know?" 
"Jealous with?"
"Jealous with your work, stupid!" Jessica laughed at the her lover's response.
"You sound like Krystal when you say that word." Jessica said and looked at Tiffany's eyes who is now glaring at her.

Jessica really does know how to ruin a mood. She knows that look of Tiffany's. It means she's once again calling Jessica stupid in her head.

Jessica bent herself down and cautiously reached for Tiffany's lips using hers. Letting both of them share a warm and soft kiss. It was this kind of moments that drives Tiffany's mind insane. Not to mention her heart.

Jessica never failed to give her these kind of feelings. Sure, Jessica does know how to ruin a mood and yet make it perfect once again. 

"I'll be going back to LA in a few days too." Jessica whispered making Tiffany's eyes go wide. She instantly sat up and looked at Jessica. 
"You mean...?" she asked, still surprised and Jessica nodded while laughing. 
"Yes. I mean I'm going after you, stupid. And we're gonna go spend a lot of time together." She said and Tiffany could say nothing more but hug her. 

Jessica hugged her back as Tiffany sat on her lap and gently rubbed her back. Tiffany could wish for nothing else, nothing more than this. This perfect moment with this perfect girl. Heck even if it's not a perfect moment she's go for it if it means being with Jessica.

"I love you." Tiffany said softly and Jessica's heart warmed up.

 

"I love you too, Tiffany."




 

_____




 

Finally back in her room, sitting on her window bench and resting after the long day she just had. She had just won a reward and just had a small private party in doing so and yet she felt incomplete.

She flashed her real, broken smile. The smile that Jieun labeled as her real smile and stood up to pull out a box that had been resting above the gigantic closet that she had kept hidden all these years. Years of hiding and finally pulling it back out again.

She slowly took of the top cover which is already filled with thick layers of dust, the certain part nearly crumbling within her touch and is seriously fragile.

She saw all those small notes that Jessica would fit inside her books of compositions before she leaves for either home or anything school related. Notes that made her day are now notes that gives her overwhelming regrets so much, so she drowns.

She pulled out a certain note and read the words written silently. The very note that Jessica last left before it had been decided for her to finally be removed from Taeyeon's life. The very note that she thought was enough of a basis for her to make decisions against her better judgement.

'Hold on, we'll reach our dreams. So, darling, never stop dreaming.'

It ached and when it did, it ached real good. The kind of pain that Taeyeon would hold on to for another set of months, or years. Pain that reminded her she is still alive, that she used to live.

She once again, remember the thought that entered her mind while walking along the red carpet and giving her victory speech.

'Why did I choose this over you?'

And then smiled sadly, whispered something that she wished she had thought of years ago before making the decision that would take everything away from her.

"We could have made it together..." 
 

Jessica made it by herself. Why couldn't they? Or rather, why didn't they?

Only Taeyeon knows.






 

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Author's: Okay, don't be mistaken people. I am not writing about the certain incident way back September 2014 because man, that's just painful to re-live! This is a fiction that revolved around their personal lives. They are artists but not a group, some are business persons and some are just normal citizens. Come onnnn I won't break my heart while writing one or is that really the case? Because I have to break my own hard in order for me to write a good context for my characters. 

Dedicated to moonsun_ship!