SHE LEFT.

Chapter I

 

 

 “Flight 41ND is now boarding, passengers please proceed to Gate 6. I repeat, the flight to New York, flight 41ND is now boarding. Please proceed to Gate 6.” Shihyun was jolted awake from his stupor as the announcement kick-started the passengers around him to scuffle to their flight gates. He looked around and saw different people with stories he didn’t know, yet he felt joy emanating from those around him, from the families bidding their loved ones’ farewell, from the excited tourists ready to discover Korea, and from the people excited for their vacation. He wondered when he would feel that kind of simple joy again.

“Let’s go.” Shihyun talked to nobody but himself as he hauled his luggage and threaded towards Gate 6.

“Hi sir, passport and ticket please. Lucas Moon Shihyun… Mr. Moon please proceed to Gate 6,” taking his documents, Shihyun nodded and smiled.

Shihyun’s mind floated as he passed through the multiple security checks and arrived at Gate 6 to see the plane he would ride, taxiing from the runway onto the gate deck. He sat at the waiting area and figured that he had some minutes more to waste, so he decided to call his ex-girlfriend’s younger sister; Krystal.

“Oppa?” A groggy voice greeted Shihyun, he looked at his wrist-watch and once again figured that siblings were really alike, for here he was… talking to this girl that just woke up when it’s 2 pm in the afternoon, just like her sister, just like the woman he loved. Shihyun felt de-ja-vu warm his heart… if only for a little.

“Sorry that I woke you up Soojung-ah, but I’m about to fly to New York. I just called to say that I’ll be there for 3 days, is… uh, is her schedule still the same?” Shihyun asked abruptly hoping that for once, Krystal could just calmly answer his inquiries, only to have the immediate need of putting his phone as far away from his ears as he can as Krystal attempted to destroy his hearing. She really wasn’t a morning person... ‘Well is it still considered morning when it’s 2 pm in the afternoon?’

“Yah oppa! I told you, don’t go to that stupid girl! Watching her from afar is not healthy for you! Nor is it humane! You’re acting like a stalker and a kicked puppy!” Krystal’s voice conveyed the strain she felt as the younger sister of the woman who left, and left Shihyun dysfunctional.

“Soojung-ah, I’m sorry… but I really have to see her, and don’t call your sister stupid. It’s not nice nor is it polite.” Shihyun reprimanded Krystal, which resulted to her whining even more so on the other side of the line, which he found adorable in their own cute platonic way.

“No oppa, if a person is being stupid you should call them stupid.” Krystal defended her stance somewhat un-ruefully, her regret for her sister's actions was evident.

“Alright…” Shihyun's lips turned to a little smile. It may be due to Shihyun being an only child, he found himself treating Krystal as his very own sister with ease, that even when Jessica broke up with him, he could not find it in his heart to stop being affectionate and to stop loving Krystal as his sister. Shihyun was thankful that they could still act the same even if he and Jessica ended on a bad note.

"But seriously oppa, when will you stop these fruitless visits? I mean if you're going there to see her anyway... why don't you just actually show yourself to her, and win her back, you know?" Shihyun smiled bitterly, if only Krystal knew how many times he attempted to show himself, and how many times he was sure Jessica saw him even when he was standing from afar.

Shihyun sighed, frustrated. For he was sure that even if Jessica was standing a football field across from him, he would still be able to identify her easily.

They were together for 5 years, knew each other for 2 years prior to their relationship, and if you add the years they were apart, it would total to a decade. ‘Surely identifying each other would be an easy given for her as it is for him?’

"I don't want to ruin the life she's built there Krys... I'm content with just seeing her whenever I can." Shihyun heard Krystal's frustrated sigh and could almost see the crease on her forehead.

"You know oppa, what you're doing is considered cute within 6 months of the break up, but you've been doing this for 3 years. It's... it’s borderline obsessive. I swear you both really are meant for each other. She’s stupid and you’re pathetic!" Shihyun winced, checking if his eardrums were still intact as he heard the beeping sound that signaled the end of their phone call.

Looking at his phone, Shihyun smiled bitterly and shook his head. “This girl… she didn’t even answer my question.”

Shihyun grabbed his carry-on luggage and headed for the tarmac and boarded the plane. Once he found his seat, which thankfully was a window seat, he set his things and made himself comfortable for the 14 hour-long flight.

Shihyun plugged his ear-pods on and played the music from his iPod and brought out the notebook where he normally scribbled ideas, feelings, and thoughts. He grabbed his pen and let his hand’s convey his feelings from his heart to paper.

‘I don’t love you…’

Those are the words that haunt my mind…

Although you’ve never said it.

It was never too hard for me to find…

That amidst all the smiles and wit

I would always be the one you left behind.                         

 

Shihyun sighed, he pitied himself really… he couldn’t understand how his heart could love only one woman, a woman that left him when he gave her his all, when he did and could’ve made her so happy.

He couldn’t understand how he could love her with a love that grew from the first day he saw her until now… even when they weren’t together anymore, even when she left him kneeling down on his knees with a diamond ring in his hands.

For goodness’ sake, it has been 3 years ever since she left and rejected his proposal of marriage, and still he found himself travelling from Korea to U.S. whenever he was granted leave, even just to catch a glimpse of the girl he so loved… just so that he could keep himself sane, just enough time to carve her face into his mind, just to know if time has affected her beauty, just to see if she was happy… if she was happy building a life that didn’t include him.

‘I see her …’

I see her in every corner of the room,

                           In every nook of all the places we’ve been,

                           I see traces of her in my home

                           And in places we’ve never been…

                           I see her in the brightest of colors and in the darkest of blacks.

                           I’m in too deep, tell me… How do I stop?

 

Shihyun felt tears threaten to escape its confines, he tried to blink them away… this was what he hated every-time he flew as a passenger, he hated how he had so much time to kill, he hated having time for his thoughts.

‘It really wasn’t healthy for him to entertain these feelings. Well… traveling and acting like a stalker also isn’t the healthiest of activities.’

“Dear passengers, this is your Captain speaking, welcome onboard Flight 41ND with service from Seoul to New York for a brief stop-over and then to L.A., we are third in priority for take-off and are expected to be in the air in 6 minutes time. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts and secure all baggage in the overhead compartments. Thank you for choosing Bronze Airlines. Enjoy your flight.” Shihyun was brought out of his reverie as the captain’s voice echoed throughout the plane. Shihyun clucked his tongue as he hid his notes, fastened his seat belt and raised the volume of the music he was listening to.

Shihyun closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep in order to muffle his pain and to see Jessica just a little bit sooner.

The plane took off and not long after Shihyun found himself drifting to sleep.

…

                  Shihyun jolted awake to the tight grip of the person sitting beside him and to the shaking of the plane due to turbulence. Slowly becoming aware of the situation and of the fear of the young girl sitting beside him, he looked around and saw that most of the other passengers seemed unaffected by the aberrant movement of the plane, as most were probably used to long hour flights that normally experienced turbulence. He looked at the time and figured that they were about 8-9 hours within the flight.

Shihyun winced in discomfort as he tried to wake his limbs and looked at his forearm which was still in the tight grip of the stranger sitting beside him. He was sure that her grip would leave a mark, she was holding his forearm with too much strength for a girl.

Shihyun adjusted in his seat and faced the stranger, trying to gauge if she was just scared of the turbulence or if she was experiencing a medical case and needed dire help.

‘She is probably a first time flyer since she appears so young… I wonder if she’s allowed to fly alone, she looks like she’s under 18… Where are her parents?’ Was what Shihyun thought as he looked at the young girl’s face… or rather what little features she showed, she was dressed quite weirdly for a long-haul flight… she had a black face mask covering half of her face accompanied by thick rimmed glasses and a black cap.

Shihyun looked around and tried to locate the parents of the girl or any guardian but alas, he couldn’t find anyone who seemed inclined towards the scared girl beside him.

“Excuse me little girl? Are you alright?” He asked.

The stranger currently had her eyes shut tight, lips pursed thin, her left hand gripping Shihyun’s, while her right hand was gripping the belt of her seat.

“Miss?” Shihyun tried nudging her lightly, only to result to the stranger’s insistent head shaking… He felt helpless, it seemed that she wasn’t able to understand English.

Trying his luck since the girl appeared to be Korean, or at the very least Asian.

Shihyun asked the stranger in Korean. “Miss? Are you okay?”

Fortunately, it seemed that she was indeed Korean. Shihyun did a mini victory dance inside his head when the girl finally opened her eyes and stared at him with uncertainty in her eyes.

“Yes?” She unsurely replied.

Shihyun felt her fear seep through her words and empathized with her

“Are you okay?” Shihyun asked once more, and accompanied his inquiry with an expression that he hoped appeared friendly.

“Yes… I’m sorry I woke you… I’m just really scared of the thunders and of the turbulence.” Shihyun nodded at the response of the girl, and signaled to a flight attendant for a glass of water, to help calm his seat-mate.

“It’s alright, it’s just turbulence due to bad weather, and we’re far from the eye of the storm. There’s nothing to worry about.” Shihyun smiled and thanked the flight attendant that handed him the glass of water.

“Here, drink this to calm yourself a little. Are you headed for New York?” The girl shook her head and took the glass from his hands.

“No, I’m going to LA.”

“Ah…” He awkwardly replied.

“Thank you… sir?” Shihyun watched as the girl fidgeted, trying to convey her gratitude shyly.

“Lucas, just call me Lucas.” The girl nodded, “Thank you Lucas…”

“It’s nothing. If I may ask… what’s your name?” Shihyun inquired.

“It’s Na… Nayoung.”

After Nayoung has had her drink, the flight attendant came back to take the glass off of her hands and almost instantly after, a big thunder clap resounded. Nayoung tried to hold her screams in, which still came out as whimpers.

“This is your captain speaking, flight attendants, please take your seats.” The plane shook as the flight attendants calmly headed to their assigned seats and helped other people to buckle up their seatbelts.

“Dear passengers please buckle your seatbelts, as we will be descending to a lower altitude for a smoother flight and in 5 hours, we will be reaching our stop-over and continue on with our journey to LAX, thank you.” Shihyun listened intently to the pilot’s announcement, he buckled his seatbelt and found himself, once again gripped by Nayoung’s hands. Shihyun figured that Nayoung probably understood close to nothing to the Pilot’s announcement, so he translated it directly in Korean and watched as understanding and realization dawned on Nayoung.

Shihyun helped Nayoung strap her belt on. He scooted closer to her, hoping to be a form of comfort to the young girl. Another thunder sounded and he felt Nayoung flinch in her seat as the plane started to descend.

With furrowed brows, Shihyun thought deeply and thanked God for the idea that popped into his mind. He looked for his iPod along with his ear-pods. He messily took his things out of his bag and when he found it, he took it out of its case and handed the ear-pods to Nayoung.

“Here, I’ll play some songs for you to listen to, it’ll drown out the sound of the thunder and hopefully calm you down a bit.” Nayoung smiled and nodded shyly, grateful for Shihyun’s kindness.

“Nayoung-ah, you should feel special! You’re one of the few who’ve heard me sing.” Shihyun jokingly said, which was normally not his nature but he really wanted to comfort the little girl sitting beside him.

Shihyun pressed the play button of his iPod and Nayoung put the ear-pods on.

Shihyun smiled at her and turned the volume up and handed the iPod to Elise, so that she can change the volume and music to her preference.

“Thank you, Lucas op… oppa.” Nayoung hesitantly said.

Shihyun nodded and patted the top of Nayoung’s head. After Shihyun was sure that Nayoung was properly distracted, he tried to fix his things and played with the screen of his in-flight entertainment, trying to find something to watch and kill the remaining 5 hours of the flight.

…

Shihyun was just starting his second movie when he felt a weight on his shoulder.

Looking at the source, he saw a sleeping Nayoung still wearing his ear-pods on. Smiling at the adorable and child-like tendency of the young girl sitting beside him, he adjusted his seat for her to sleep more comfortably.

Shihyun continued to watch his movie but also fretted with Nayoung’s comfort like a mother-hen.

What normally was a long flight for Shihyun seemed shortened as the flight came to a halt as they reached JFK, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to New York, JFK Airport. Local time is 4:00 PM - August 17^th, 2016.”

Not wanting to wake Nayoung up, Shihyun adjusted her position so that she could continue sleeping, since he knew that she would stay at the same plane since her destination was L.A.

After making sure that Nayoung wouldn’t hurt her neck from sleeping too much, Shihyun asked the flight attendant to tend to Nayoung.

“Hi miss, sorry for the disturbance… but I’m getting off the plane and this little girl is scared of flying, I don’t know where her guardians are… can you just look at her? Her destination is L.A.X.” the flight attendant smiled and nodded at his request, to which Shihyun smiled thankfully back.

As he was leaving, Shihyun ripped a piece of paper from his notebook and wrote a small note which he folded and slipped in the pocket of Nayoung’s Coat.

 Nayoung,

Sorry I didn’t wake you up to say goodbye but I had to get off, since I’m headed for New York. Have a safe flight.

-Lucas.

Checking up on the little girl one final time, Shihyun took his luggage and headed down out of the plane and onto the tarmac.

Taking a deep breath as he admired the afternoon sky of New York that greeted him and proceeded to get out of the busy Airport as fast as he could, so that he could finally see the sole purpose and bane of his existence.