Recently the nights were colder, but for one person it didn't matter. That person wasn't afraid of cold outside. A terrible feeling ate him from inside, and it was called guilt. 

    Red lantern in his hand, sad smile on his face, and beautiful memories in his head. Everything was on his place, except one person. 

    He wasn't here, and Hongjoong's heart ached. Tears slowly fell on his cheeks. Quiet sob escaped his mouth. 

    Silver hair man looked at the starry sky, feeling even worse than before. 

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" said, crying. 

    He wasn't ashamed of that. He didn't hide his feelings, saying openly that he couldn't move forward. Not without him by his side. Not without his beloved. 

"I don't know if it's true, but if you look at me, please, forgive me. Forgive me everything I did that hurt you."

    He clenched his free hand on his jacket. 

"I still love you, I can't move forward. Guilt is eating me from inside, I can't handle it. It's too much. Everyone said it will fade, I will forget. They lied! I can't forget! I can't forget you, I love you too much."

    He looked at the lantern in his hand. Red like the blood that spilled into the street that day. He took a deep breathe, trying to calm himself.
“You know, I remember everything. I remember every day I spent with you, your every smile, your every tear… I remember your death and I can’t forget it. I can't forget your lifeless body, your eyes looking at nowhere."

    Hongjoong moved forward, walking near the sea. 

"You liked spending time here, saying it soothing your nerves. You felt relaxed and happy. Your smile was the most beautiful thing I saw." he said, looking at the sea. 

    Dark waters looked like they were sleeping. Even the wind couldn't wake the waves. 

    Tonight was peaceful, the stars shone in the dark sky, keeping him company. 

"I remember your birthday and your face when I proposed. You were shocked, but a moment later you cried. It was happiness, true happiness." he smiled gently. 

    They got engaged, but never stood at the altar. 

    Death came too soon. 

"It's hard knowing that you're not here. Waking up without your kisses on my face, without your voice near my ear, without your smile at the morning. It's hard waking up without you."

    Hongjoong stopped and lifted red lantern, looking at her colour, he hated the most. 

"I hate red. I hate that colour, because it reminds me of your death. Your unseeing eyes still hunt me in my dreams. You know how hard is it to erase your dead body? I still see your pale skin, blood around, people screaming…" 

    Hongjoong let out painful scream. 

"Your eyes! I can't forget your eyes! They looked at nowhere, lifeless and full of fear. I was beside you, but I couldn't do anything" he cried again. "I couldn't help you, I couldn't sooth your pain."

    Hongjoong lit the lantern, fat tears falling on his cheeks. 

"Seonghwa I want to say goodbye. I want to move forward, I want to forget about it. After five years, I think I finally can say it. I can finally say goodbye to you."

    He dropped the lantern from his hands, watching it rises to the sky

"Seonghwa, please, forgive me and remember I still love you."

    He didn't see hands, reaching his face and caressing his cheeks. He didn't see soft smile, full of love and relieve on Seonghwa's face. 

"Joong, I'm proud of you. I was waiting for this moment. I was waiting for you to forgive yourself." he kissed him, knowing that younger couldn't feel it. "I can finally leave. Please, remember I always love you." 

    The wind took his last words, the waves took his soul. 

The melody of Inquiry echoes through the air