Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little country girl, one of the prettiest creatures ever seen around. Whenever she went out, the little girl wore a red riding cloak, so everyone in the village called her Little Red Riding Hood. However, as you, my dear reader, are not just anyone, you may call her Kim Dahyun. Also, how sad it is to be known by the kind of clothes you wear? Have you ever heard about Little Black Tight Top? Never, because it’s stupid and rude. And what if Dahyun decided to mix it up and go out in her very fashionable checked pants? She has so many of those that name would suit her better.

One morning, Dahyun, being the good girl she is, asked her mother if she could go to visit her grandmother as it had been awhile since they'd seen each other. Dahyun loved her granny Nayeon — well, she wasn’t exactly her grandmother but as the girl was the oldest of their group of friends, she was given that impolite nickname by no other than Jeongyeon, who wasn’t that young either, for the record. Of course none of them would dare to call her like that to her face, Nayeon has one powerful voice, especially when complaining they never treated her like an eonnie. It wasn’t ill-intentioned, though, Nayeon was precious to every single one of them. She was funny and caring, someone to rely on, and Dahyun had missed her greatly since she moved to her own place at the other side of the forest to become a great actress.

"That's a good idea," her mother said, and so they packed a nice basket full of cherries and a couple of bottles of wine to celebrate Nayeon’s new place.

When the basket was ready, the little girl put on her red cloak and kissed her mother goodbye.

"Remember, go straight to her house," her mother cautioned. "Don't dawdle along the way and please don't talk to strangers! The woods are dangerous."

"Don't worry, mommy," said Little Red Riding… Dahyun, "I'll be careful."

 

Believe me when I say Kim Dahyun was not only the apple of her mother’s eye but also a Godfearing woman. She would never curse, lie and of course she would never (willingly) disobey her mother. The time when Chaeyoung and Tzuyu took her by her arms and ankles to the club when they were still underage doesn’t count — as it doesn’t count either the number of shots she downed thinking it was juice until she started feeling really dizzy and itchy and realized maybe the burn she felt in with every drink wasn’t that normal.

That being said, Dahyun was set to go straight to Nayeon’s but when she noticed some lovely flowers in the woods, she forgot her promise to her mother. There was no harm in picking a few — well, but for the flowers, I mean. They were gorgeous, and it was only going to be a second… until she saw the butterflies and she felt the need to watch them fly around for awhile. The landscape was just too idyllic not to stop even for a tiny second to contemplate such beauty, listening to the frogs croaking and the birds singing. Still, there was something off with all that bliss. There was something about the bouquet she had gathered that wasn’t right, so she spent yet another minute picking a few more flowers.

Caught in the warmth of the summer day and the delightful nature surrounding her, Dahyun didn't notice a dark shadow approaching out of the trees behind her.

"What are you doing out here, little girl?" a sultry voice asked.

There was a woman beside her — one of red lips and pinkish hair. “Oh, wow”, that was Dahyun’s first thought as she tried her best not to check her out shamelessly. That would have been wrong for so many reasons. First, it would have been rude; secondly, inappropriate, since the girl was a complete stranger, but above all, her mother wouldn’t have liked that, and God wouldn’t have either. Although the girl was so gorgeous that maybe God would have actually liked her — He would definitely have liked her eyes, dark and alluring, and her sweet but somewhat dainty smile. Oh, and He would have LOVED her jaw, so sharp she could cut diamonds. Not that Dahyun had noticed any of that. What she did very much see, however, was the two ears peeking among the thick and gorgeous mane of the girl — wolf ears, matched with an elegant and furry tail dancing behind her back. She was one of those forest creatures. Dahyun had nothing against them, though, she loved every neighbor like every other living being in God’s creation.

"I-I'm on my way to see my grandm… friend," Dahyun replied, maybe a bit too loudly. Then she realized how late she was and quickly excused herself, rushing down the path to Nayeon's house.

The wolf, however, didn’t give up so easily. With a series of long strides, she quickly caught up with our protagonist.

“Does she live far off?” As the girl wouldn’t respond right away, she added: “I’m Sana, by the way.”

“Dahyun.” It was just a matter of good manners and not a biased decision made because the wolf girl was lovely and Dahyun was too gay. No. Maybe the girl was gorgeous but Dahyun wasn’t gay at all, so that was not the reason why she kept talking. “She lives through the forest, near the brook.”

“Well, it’s not that far away, maybe you have some time to play first?”

“Uhm…” Dahyun was speechless.

“I’m sure your friend would appreciate some treats, a guest must always be polite.” The wolf her lips and looked at the girl from head to toe.

“I a-am bringing her some cherries and w-wine.” The persistent wolf squinted her eyes and tilted her head.

“In fact, I have a bottle of fairy champagne that I’d love to open with you.”

“With… me?” At some point she had stopped dead in her tracks. Not the most recommendable way of confronting a wolf in the dark and lonely forest, children.

“With you,” the wolf stepped towards her and leaned on her ear. She took a big whiff of her before whispering. “Although maybe a fine red wine would go better with you.”

Maybe she was being narcissistic, or paranoid, but looking at the hungry gaze of the wolf girl, Dahyun would have almost sworn she totally intended to eat her. In what way, she wasn’t certain. So of course she panicked and quickened her pace until she started leaving the pretty wolf behind, shouting a million excuses, none of which made sense at all.

 

***

 

Knock, knock. She wasn’t even sure why she was knocking at the door when she had a perfectly functioning doorbell next to her. It just felt right, she guessed.

"Who's there?" A voice said from inside. For some reason, Dahyun had expected better from Nayeon, not a lazy shout coming probably from the couch. At the very least she should have come to receive her to the door! She immediately felt guilty for jumping into assumptions right away like a spoiled little girl, nevertheless, realizing the most likely reason for Nayeon’s behavior was she being in the shower, or trapped by a bazillion boxes, or blind because she forgot her glasses inside the fridge again.

"It is me, Dubu!” as nobody opened the door, she continued, “who has brought you cherries and wine."

The voice cried out to her, softening as much as she could, "You know the password for the door."

No, she didn’t, but it wasn’t that hard to guess. 961101of course, she thought with a snort before opening the door.

Much to her surprise, it was a pretty dope house. Nayeon-eonnie was a woman of great taste, indeed. The shame was the darkness in which the place was embedded, and it didn’t take much for Dahyun to realize that all the windows were closed, blinds down.

Suddenly, the creaking noise of the mattress startled the girl.

“Lord, eonnie! Don’t do that again,” she said, panting with a hand on her chest.

"Put the cherries and the wine upon the stool and come get into bed with me."

It might seem an odd request but not for Nayeon-eonnie. She loved taking naps with her girls, especially with Jeongyeon but nobody should ever mention that at risk of ending severely bruised. That’s why Dahyun didn’t say a word before taking off her red riding hood and boots and got into bed. She was greatly amazed to see how her friend looked in her nightclothes, and said to her, "Nayeon-eonnie, what’s up with your hands? They look so small." It wasn’t a feeble thing, however – Nayeon-eonnie was known to have the most slender and long fingers in town. Weird thing to notice about someone, yes, but you know the countryside.

"All the better to touch you with, my child." Touch and child aren’t words you should use in the same sentence but still Dahyun remained blissfully unaware.

"Nayeon-eonnie, what dark eyes you have!" Animalistic, she thought.

"All the better to see you with, my child."

"Nayeon-eonnie, what long… legs you have!" She didn’t want to notice but she couldn’t help it the moment those toned and stylized legs tangled with hers.

"All the better to hug you with, my dear." Eh?

"Nayeon-eonnie”, are those…? “what big ears you have!"

"All the better to hear your moans with, Dahyunnie." Wait a minute…

"Eonnie, what sharp teeth you have got!"

"All the better to eat you out with." Too late, Little Red Riding Hood realized that the person in the bed was not her friend, but a very, very hungry wolf. She rolled on top of our protagonist and pinned her hands against the bed, right above her head. She could swear the wolf’s eyes shone bright red.

In a situation like this, with a wolf hovering over her more than willing to devour her to the bone, a normal human being would have screamed and at least made the attempt to run for the closest exit. Not Dahyun, however — The thing is that she didn’t want to escape. Far from that, it was the first time in a long while someone or something had felt so right. When the strong hands that were holding her arms loosened, flesh met flesh and their lips crushed. A hot kiss, a death kiss. Rushed and messy at first, like the feelings bubbling in her chest, a kiss full of longing and desire, until it died down to languid and meaningful pecks.

“I wish you could understand how long I’ve been waiting for this,” the wolf then whispered to her ear as she tenderly captured her earlobe with her sharp teeth. Of course, Dahyun couldn’t help but feel flattered — embarrassed but flattered, nonetheless. The fact that such an enchanting creature had been patiently waiting for someone like her — no, for her and her only, filled her with a new sense of confidence that burst out of her by capturing back Sana’s lips.

She rolled them again until Dahyun was the one straddling the wolf. It took her a second to realize what was going on, to take in the craziness of the situation. She wasn’t only making out with a dangerous creature but with someone who was likely going to eat her for dinner and use her bones as toothpicks. However, every time she looked at Sana there was a knot in her gut that wouldn’t leave her alone, a feeling on her lips that wouldn’t disappear until she kissed her deeply. Her blonde mane fell like a cascade everywhere, creating a blanket around them — with girls was turning out to be more intricate than she had thought, for sure. At some point, she got so annoyed she just stopped her ministrations on the edge of the wolf’s shirt and sat to tie it, but Sana wouldn't let her.

"Don't." She sat with Dahyun and ran her hands through her hair. "I could play with your hair for hours."

Who would have thought a deadly wolf could be so tender? Touching her skin, feeling her claws sinking in the flesh of her thighs excited Dahyun just as much as it terrified, and if she was to be honest with herself, she had never felt so alive before.

“Ah, Sana!” A… moan was suddenly heard… Wait. She screamed in awe at her feelings!

 

“Nayeon-eonnie!” The door opens with a great thud, showing a very much Dahyun, followed by another very much wolf, who rushes to cover her girlfriend’s more intimate parts with her furry tail. “Are you really narrating all of this?!”

“Come on, girls, I was setting the mood! Can’t you show some self-control for 5 ing minutes?!” The fact that Nayeon seems totally unbothered by Dahyun’s anger only adds to her fury, obliging Sana to hug her girl from behind, trying to soothe her.

“Sorry,” the wolf says, playfully. “Dahyunnie looked so delicious I couldn’t help myself.”

“How long have you been here and why are you handcuffed in your underwear?!” The girl turns to glare at her girlfriend, who raises her arms instantly.

“Don’t look at me, I swear I did not do that.”

“But you knew she was here all the time!” It wasn't even a question. You must know that Dahyun isn’t someone prone to get mad but when she does… you better not be around or you are likely to be scorned too. Wolves are powerful creatures, probably some of the most dreaded of the forest and rightfully so (one shouldn’t want to get trapped in their claws on a full moon) but when it comes to an angry Dahyun, Sana fears for her life.

“I-I asked her to lend me her house to play with you but she said she wouldn’t leave!” she tries to excuse herself, using even her most adorable pouting face to try to appeal to the girl’s soft heart…

“And you just let her stay inside the closet?!” … to no avail. When Dahyun’s seeing red there’s little you can do.

“It’s her house and… I mean,” Sana looks at the older girl and just shrugs. “To each their kinks.”

At that, Dahyun’s shoulders slump. There is no way to argue against a wolf’s sense of territory.

“Yeah, Dahyunnie, don’t play the al card after enjoying your furry .”

“I’m not a furry, I’m a werewolf!” the girl complains, baring her fangs. It should have looked terrifying but she ends it with such a cute little frown that they can’t just take her seriously.

“And mostly a woman!” Dahyun adds, not giving it a second thought. If she had, however, she would have realized how wrong that came out.

“Are you embarrassed of my wolfiness?” Sana’s tail and ears fall, so sad and so suddenly her girlfriend can barely react.

“N-no, no, of course I am n-,“ she tries to fix it, but the damage is done. Sana's tearing up.

“That’s so mean, Dahyun-ah.” Nayeon jumps on her feet and walks out of the closet, followed by the two girls. "Also, I was getting to the part she howled at your e-," right in time to see the main door fall to the ground with a deafening noise. “What the…?”

From the cloud of dust, a dark figure appears and axe in hand runs towards the girls. The wolf covers her girlfriend with her body, getting into a crouchng, rather animalistic position. Maybe Dahyun shoudn't have found it so y. She has a lot to talk to her therapist this week.

“We heard someone scream-WHAT’S GOING ON IN HERE?!”

“Yoo Jeongyeon! That was my door!” she scolds her as she hits her arm, making the axe slip and fall.

“Ouch!” The clatter of the metal hitting the floor makes Sana squirm and go find comfort on her girlfriend's arms.

“Great, another crazy one,” Dahyun says with bleak desperation.

"There, there, child.” Nayeon tries to pacify her, leaning on her shoulder. “I think we all have learnt an important lesson today."

"Which is...?"

"That you're gay and into , and shouldn't shag in someone else's house and not to expect they'll stay to enjoy the show." Dahyun's so close to jump at Sana has to use her wolf strength to hold her. That tiny sweet-looking girl is stronger than she looks. Yet, Nayeon keeps talking, either oblivious or too confident. "Thank goodness you shouted loud enough for this kind woodswoman to hear you and stop you before you could ruin my story!"

“Two women and Nayeon-eonnie in her underwear and hand-tied?” A laid back looking woman appears from behind what’s left of the door, peeling a red apple as she speaks. She speaks so calmly one wouldn’t know if she’s mocking them or being completely serious. “I’d call it a Friday.”

“Have you shagged the She-Wolf?” Jeongyeon asks with a sly smirk on her lips.

“Hi, eonnie,” Sana greets cheerfully as she resumes her job of covering her girlfriend's private parts. Not that anybody seems to mind, though, not even Dahyun. “Hi, Chaeng.”

“Bro, today you’ve made me proud,” the short girl comments as she eats her fruit.

“They have made all of us proud,” Nayeon adds.

“Then why did you make me look like a random ert approaching women?” Sana asks, quite offended by Nayeon’s way of portraying her kind.

“I mean… you’ve been pursuing her for years, I needed a creative way of portraying such persistence.”

“This is… not happening.” That’s it, Dahyun has lost it. She walks towards the bed, followed by the wolf, and slides under the covers.

“I think we should get going,” Chaeyoung suggests and Dahyun gives her a thumbs up from the bed.

“Yeah, and I should probably find the way of getting myself out of these handcuffs,” Nayeon tries to turn around but Jeongyeon’s voice stops her.

“Oh, right, here.” By the time she realizes what she's doing, her arm is already stretched to hand her the key and everyone is looking at them.

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CheejiKimbap
#1
Chapter 1: Ohmygod this is so funny. X) I cracked up!
buddy_molly
#2
Chapter 1: This is absolutely amazing! The most ingenious thing I've read in a while XD The humor is spot-on and I love how you told it. I can imagine you all straight-faced but saying all this hilarious stuff and that makes it even funnier! Gosh, what a read. Thanks so much for sharing this. Oh and imo, this is the only version of Little Red Riding Hood that I accept *slow clap* Bravo!
Tokwa2x
#3
Chapter 1: I had to upvote because this is so ing hilarious.. I didn't even see that coming.. I thought this was like the story but with a little bit of a twist but boy was I wrong. They were a freaking mess at the end..I love it. Jeong freaking handcuffed Nayeon didn't she?