five

She walked into SM one day and for a moment, couldn't feel the comforting beat of her pulse.

Ever since Changmin's declaration of love no one had really dared to mention it to either of them. It was as if they assumed that they had both reached a mutual understanding of each other, as if everything were instantly figured out because it was the two of them: Changmin and Yoona, two poles at opposite ends that met once and should never meet again.

There was another company party and like always she looked on after him sullenly as he flirted with one busty trainee after another, her heart dropping so deep within her that she was afraid she'd never find it again. She should have known all along after all, that his proclamation was just that: a statement. A proud testimonial of temporary insanity laced with alcohol and the memory of a night spent in lust.

They had nothing to offer one another, except for her ity which she had blindly given to him one night years ago. Because, really, who would sleep with your friend’s girlfriend the night they break up? Changmin would; he and Donghae weren’t very good friends in the first place, and she was intoxicated and needed comforting.

Donghae didn’t want her anymore and Kibum was no where to be found… but Changmin was there. He was there and he had been gentle. He hadn’t forced her that night; rather, she had offered herself to him.

Suddenly Yoona felt angry because it wasn't fair. She was young, and he was experienced. They never spoke of it again, but it had hovered over them ever since—she balled her hands into fists and bit back a sob erupting from , turning her head away as Changmin grinned at another girl hanging onto him.

What had he expected her to do when he professed his feelings the other night? Did he expect her to have told him she loved him too? Or should she have kissed him instead? And now he had her thinking of him constantly, wasting her hours away, wondering why the hell she was only half as shocked as she should have been when he said those three words.

Yes, she had wanted to kiss him, but her mind prevented her from moving. Her heart had wanted to reach out to him, but—she, herself, doubted still. She doubted his words, her feelings, their chances.

On the other hand, Changmin had always known that life wasn't fair. He had his fair share of the deceitful things life hurled at people since he started his career, when things came to blows and the brotherhood he’d built with five others