Your white dress is so pretty that it shines in my eyes,

The road you're walking on and the sad ring you have on

September 23, 20XX

I stare to a body who lies lifeless in front of me. She looks stunning in those white dress. With the red rose that she holds, she peacefully sleeps like nothing had happened.

But that peaceful face of her, bring tears to my eyes..

I said I would only love you my entire life

I promise I would protect only you

My heart is crying and screaming inside.

Can you hear that?

It cries not because of you, but it because of me...

It curses me because I broke my promise to you.

I've said it right?

In the other day, I said that I will protect you...

But in the end, I do nothing for you...

So why are you leaving?

Someone touch my shoulder from behind makes me jolts back. Choi Joong Hoon, our band leader appears behind me.

"Hong Ki... are you okay?" he asks and pats my head while smiling to me. I just smile back but I know that he realizes that that smile is a fake.

I can't give him any answer. He knows that I'm not okay even if I told him that I'm okay.

"That black suit looks really terrible to you." I just made some kind of joke. Just to ease the pain in my heart. He smiles and pats my shoulder. He holds my shoulder and drag me to back. I just follow him. At the back there, in the midst of many people, my fellow bandmates are waiting for me.

"Now we will listen to the fiancee of the decease. Lee Hong Ki!" the head of funeral service suddenly calls for me. I don't even realize when my legs take me to in front of people. I stop in front of the mic that stands there.

All people when into silent, waiting for me to utter my words. I watch every of them. All of them are dressed in black.

"I'm..." I stop. I look at her parents who still in tears. I look at her brother who look very upset for what had happened.

"I...." I stop again after saw my bandmates at the back. And I take a glance at her lie there.

"I love her..." that's the only thing that I can say.

I love you

Even when I scream your name

How come you can't answer me?

I couldn't even bid you farewell

I can feel that my cheeks suddenly get wet. I touch my cheek and realize that my view suddenly got blur.

I cry.

I can only cry without doing anything.

I dash from there into the crowd of people. It turn into ruckuss for a while when I suddenly run away from there.

I run away...

Run from that funeral of the person that I love most.

I run to the street and dash without knowing where my legs will take me.

I could hear Jaejin's and Seunghyun's voices calling for me but I just couldn't stop and turn around and ask them 'What' like I usually do. I just run and run until I don't hear any of their voices anymore.

Don't go.

How can you just abandon me and leave?

What am I going to do all by myself?

Please don't leave.

Please...

It's like I chase my own shadow. No matter how fast I run, I'll never can catch my own shadow.

"Don't leave me..." I stop near a river. I pant after that long run. I cry everytime I say that words.

"Don't leave me..."

Rain drops suddenly fell from the sky. I look above and I can see the dark cloud that brings the rain, heading above me.

Is this falling rain a tear you shed on the way?

Is this bitter wind your long sigh?

"Why did you leave?" I ask that question without getting any answer.

"You said that you will live for more hundred years with me." I stumble on the ground.

In this lifetime, my love is only you

I only have you

Why did you abandon me and leave?

You bad person

September 22, 20XX

My heart pounded heavily after I reached at the hospital. The crying voice of her mother filled my ears. The bouqet of the red roses that my right hand hold, fall to the ground. I rushed to the her room and stunned at the door.

There, I saw her lied on the bed, closing her beautiful eyes like she was sleeping. I looked at her mother that didn't stop crying and her father who never stop calming down his wife. Her brother was falling slowly on his knees and buried his face in her arms. The doctor and the nurses who treat her walked away, leaving the room after said 'sorry' to me, and to her family.

What is this?

Didn't she just laugh with me justnow?

Before I went to the florist because she said she wanted the red rose...

Like my heart being stabbed by a thousand knives, I hold my chest.

I'm bleeding inside... It hurts a lot.

That day, my heart also died.

IT'S A DAMN DAY...!!

I love you

Even when I scream your name

Why don't you answer me?

I couldn't even bid you farewell

Don't go.

How can you just abandon me and leave?

What am I going to do all by myself?

Please don't leave me

I snap out after memorizing back to that day. The river water flows and the rain falling don't make my heart feel any calm. I lie on the ground and while facing to the sky.

My cellphone rings but I don't have any strength to answer it. I look at the screen and see Minhwan's name appears on it. After a while it stops, leaving a note, '1 Missed Call'. I push a button to close the note and it changes into the wallpaper that I set on the phone.

Again I stumble.

That wallpaper is the picture of me and her, with the funny face.

That picture breaks me into the pieces.

My view gets blur again.

I'm not sure either it's because rain drops got into my eyes or the tears that appears from my eyes.

Your smiling picture seems very sad today

I'm embracing you in my arms

"Sorry..." I cover my eyes with my arm. I'm fortunate because the rain has covered my tears that falling.

Sorry...

I couldn't do much to protect you.

I couldn't say anything to calm you.

I just stand there... doing nothing to you.

I feel helpless.

I see you in pain but I can't do anything for you.

Even though I said that I'll protect you...

I'm sorry that I send you away by myself like this

Because only I'm left here

I want to see you so much that I'm shaking

I look at the sky that still pouring the rain. My head is showing back to the day where I brought her out from hospital for a day. Three days before the damn day...

-flash back-

We watched the sunset at the west sky together on a cliff.

That was the first time I saw her smiling widely after were submitted to the hospital after diagnosis to suffer Cardiomyopathy that can cause the heart failure.

"Sunset is beautiful." she didn't stop smiling.

"You really love sunset, right? Even the first time I met you, you also staring at the sunset sky." I giggled after remembering the first time I saw her. She chuckled after hear that.

"Of course I love it. It's like the sky is on fire." she said and took a deep breath after that. I just couldn't stop smiling looking at her face. She closed her eyes.

"Hong Ki..." she called me and opened her eyes.

"When I die, I'll be there... near the sunset." she said. And I notice that the look into her yes had changes.

"So when you miss me, you can always look at the sunset. I'll be there." she smiled again.

"You don't have to worry about me. Because I'll be there..."

I love you

"You will be there, right? Watching me down here.." I wipe the the rain drops from my face. The rain finally meet its end.

But I still stumble here.

Her words on that day bring a smile to my lips.

'You are always smiling, crying, getting angry… your face is always full of expressions.

But living together with  you, in my heart… is pleasant.

You make me alive every day…

Please be happy near the sunset that you love most.'

Please be happy even in heaven

and wait for me up there

until the day I get there...

"Hong Ki!!!" A voice that I really familiar with appears behind me. I sit up and look behind.

My fellow bandmates, rush towards me. They look worried and they are also drench in rain.

"We are looking for you! Why you didn't answer your phone?" Wonbin hugs me like he doesn't see me for ten years.

"Are you okay?" Jaejin once again asks me the same question like Jonghyun asked before.

"You know what, Hong Ki." Jonghyun exhales a sigh.

"It's okay if you tell us you're not okay. Upset or sad, you're not a robot so that you're definitely feel that feeling!" Junghyun like a brother, tells me what I should do.

Yeah...

I should tell them about what I feel.

Sadness and sorrowful, I'm not a robot so I can't surpress that misery.

After that day, I thought my heart was broken.

I thought it was fine not to say anything.

But because of that assumption,

without I realize the knives stick in my heart one by one.

Because I felt I can endure my feeling, to not telling them how I feel,

I don't realize that I'm bleeding again...

My friends,

Sorry to make all of you worry so much for me.

I won't have any worries anymore.

Because I'm sure she will be there, watching me from the sunset.

She will always be with me.

And I will be there for her too...

Someday.

Goodbye...

"Let's go..."