Weekends would always find Ricky hitting the bars and taking men home, sometimes several at once. He was not a picky man. So long as they had , he was down for anything, with anyone, anywhere. 

So Chunji was pretty sure if he confessed to Ricky that he'd been harboring feelings for him for the past two years, Ricky would not reject him, at least not ually. In all the time he had known him, he had never seen Ricky turn away a man. Sometimes he questioned Ricky's freeness in his ual activities, wondering why he was so willing to go to the homes of men who were s, but his protests always fell on deaf ears. 

"Don't care about their personalities," he would say. "I'm just in it for the fun." 

So, the issue wasn't whether Ricky would be down for something ual—that was a definite yes—what worried Chunji more was the romantic side of it all. He didn't think Ricky had ever had a proper boyfriend before. He wasn't even sure if Ricky considered himself to be romantically attracted to anyone. It always seemed to revolve around with him. 

"Would you ever get a boyfriend?" Chunji asked one day, when they were hanging out at his house, a couple of hours before they would be heading downtime. 

Ricky shot him a surprised look. "A boyfriend?" he repeated. He contemplated. "I've had boyfriends before. I wouldn't mind having one again. Why?"

Chunji flushed. "No reason," he sputtered. "I just didn't know if you were the type to settle down." 

Ricky punched his arm playfully. "I may get around more than anyone I know, but I kinda like the idea of just having one guy there for you no matter what. Or even two," he added, chuckling. 

Chunji shot him a nervous smile back. To be honest, he was surprised, but he was glad he had asked. The thought of being that guy, the guy there for Ricky no matter what, really appealed to him. In some ways, he already felt like that guy. If Ricky were hurt, he would be there for him. If they were going through hard times, Chunji wouldn't abandon him, no matter what. They may have only been friends, but Chunji felt the closeness they shared meant something. If he could just gather his courage, maybe they could have a shot at being something more.

Weeks passed after Chunji asked him that question, and nothing had changed. Ricky was completely unfazed, unaware that something had happened, but that conversation they had had was all Chunji could think about. It was silly, really. It had just been a simple question, and Ricky's answer probably shouldn't have been that big of a deal. But that's the thing. It was. It gave him a hope he hadn't had before. As the days went by, all Chunji could think about at night was confessing. Fantasizing. Imagining Ricky being his, in a way he wasn't now. 

It started driving him mad. He didn't know why he held back. Shyness? Certainly. It was stupid, really. He wasn't a teen anymore. He shouldn't be so afraid of a simple confession. Worry? He wasn't exactly worried. He didn't think it would crush him to be rejected, but he knew it would sting. The pros definitely outweighed the cons, so why not just do it? 

One day, when Ricky stumbled out of Chunji's room after having passed out drunk the night before, Chunji decided to confess. He had no idea why he had decided that that moment, when Ricky had a hangover, and had only just woken up, was the best time to confess, but he didn't want to back out of it. He handed Ricky a couple of pain killers and a bottle of water, watched as Ricky gulped down the pills, and then squeezed his hands into fists and looked Ricky straight-on.

"I like you," he stated, an odd amount of confidence leaking through his voice. Ricky's eyes drifted toward him, more caught-off-guard and curious than surprised. He raised an eyebrow slightly, encouraging Chunji to continue. 

Chunji took in a deep breath. "I like you," he stated again, quieter this time, somehow feeling less sure than before. The unfounded confidence from earlier was quickly evaporating, and he had no idea how he had managed to get it out so seamlessly, but he couldn't take it back now. 

"I want to be with you," he declared, as though further redundancy was helpful. "I don't know if you would want that, to be with me, but I want to be with you, and-" he rubbed the back of his neck, embarassed, wishing he could just leave his body. "-and I, uh, I think you're great."

Yeah, that was smooth. He could feel himself flushing. His heart was beating faster than should be possible. 

Ricky opened his mouth, about to say something, but Chunji fluttered, more words slipping through his mouth before he could stop them. "I don't want this to be awkward," he sputtered, and it was definitely awkward. "I just wanted to tell you. Or ask you. Uh, ask you if..."

He trailed off, not sure where he was going with that. Ricky smiled at him, and it was so warm Chunji felt he could melt. "If...?"

Chunji's mouth went dry. He blinked, paused, and then blinked again. "Uh..." he looked away and bit his lip. "Ask you if- if you would like that."

He felt himself cringe, and he had no idea how months of thinking this through still lead him to such a disaster. He looked at Ricky again, and heat flooded his body at the adoring smile Ricky was sending his way. 

"And if I would like that?" Ricky prompted, and Chunji went cold. His smile was now teasing, and it was giving Chunji a rush. 

"I-if you would like that, then, uh," Chunji stammered, feeling like a fool. "Then we could go out?"

He waited, nerves bundling up inside, and watched Ricky sway on his heels as he appeared to contemplate it. Long seconds passed, and Chunji felt like running away or hiding, or both. 

"I don't see why not," Ricky said, a sly smile appearing on his face. He took a swig of his water as Chunji's heart pounded. Once he was done, he put the lid back on the bottle and his sly smile returned. "I would like it. Being with you."

Chunji felt like this wasn't actually happening. He wasn't used to being this flustered. His composer had dissipated, and he didn't know how to react.

Ricky sat the bottle of water on the floor before grabbing both of Chunji's hands in his and stepping forward. "I'm going to kiss you," he said, voice soft. He paused.

Chunji gave him a short nod. That was all he could do, at that moment.

Ricky leaned in and their lips touched, and it was much softer than Chunji had been anticipating. It was different from the way he saw Ricky usually kissing men, and that made his heart flutter all the more. 

It was awkward at first, adjusting to the change, transitioning from friends to boyfriends. A part of Chunji was surprised that Ricky had really meant it. He thought that Ricky might get bored of him quickly, or that his idea of dating was different from Chunji's. Watching Ricky go from frivolous party-goer to single-person man was an adjustment, but every day that passed was another day his worries eased, and another day he was grateful to be with him.

It was in the little things. It was in the special way Ricky smiled at him, or the way he trusted Chunji with his worries. It was in the way Ricky told him he'd be there for him no matter what. It was a closeness between them that Chunji realized had already existed before. In a way, their relationship was not much different now. They had always been there for each other, and they would keep being there for each other. They did more things now, explored things together that they never had before, and tested out new boundaries in their relationship, but the foundation of it all remained the same.

It was harbored on something solid that had already formed between them long ago.